


Mirrors' Falsehood

by LittleRedRidingHood3



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, boxingau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-21 04:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 48
Words: 168,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9532226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedRidingHood3/pseuds/LittleRedRidingHood3
Summary: “You are such a fucking ugly freak!”That's the only line Yoongi tells himself when he stares back at his reflection in the mirror that was pinned above his vanity. It would shatter into small pieces after he throws his small bench."Don't judge before the fight!"Jimin would spit the words with his boxing gloves colliding together on the platform of the wrestling ring.Mirrors were Yoongi’s biggest fear. Makeup would never make him look better at all. He'd stuck between two boxers that admires him deeply.





	1. Pull yourself together

**Author's Note:**

> I have posted this story already in my AFF acc. I decided to post my storied in two websites :D

 

 

 

 

 

They say mirrors lies to anything that reflects on them. It’s just a surface coated with glass, reflects every image that stands in front of it. Lies were something people would lose their trusts in others if they did it. To him mirrors were the biggest liars he has ever met since he was born, his inner world would never trust a single mirror, whether it was making him look beautiful or look ugly with wrenched face. Min Yoongi, 23 years old. His biggest fear was looking back at his reflection in the mirrors, because they lie to him.

 

  To Yoongi, no matter how many times he watched his reflection nothing fills his head but how much he looked ugly. He thought people’s lenses watches him the same, people’s eyes were reflecting him in their thin layer of their cornea, ugly, thin, no life in his face at all. At least that was in his inner would. There was not any single mirror in his small apartment that had only one room, small kitchen and a small living room. One couch, in front of it a table and TV, that never turned off. He can’t stand seeing himself in the black screen when it shuts off.

 

  There was only one in his small room. The room that never wanted to be organized, clothes in every corner, papers thrown on the ground, covering the floor. Not knowing even what they were about. Messed sheets on his bed that fits for one person and half. Yoongi couldn’t see himself in the mirror, not even for a second. All he could see, a pale person with thin body like bones with small eyes, small nose, thin lips. Every part in him was small which he didn’t like. People sometimes would mistake him with girl, he never liked it.

 

  Yoongi was there again, on the bench of his vanity staring back at himself on the mirror in front of him. It was the only one in the whole apartment. It was dusty red, the lipstick in his hand that made his lips looks glossy. His pale hand was shaking; the way he was gripping into the base turned his limps white. It wasn’t neat nor tidy, the redness surrounded him lips along with the skin that surrounded it. The black line that drew on his waterline made his eyes looks smaller. They way he looked back at his reflection made him curse under his breath.

 

  “You are such a fucking ugly freak!” Yoongi watched how the messed up lipstick moved on the mirror. It wasn’t right, everything wasn’t right in front of him. His pale hand moved up, all the way to his thin face digging his nails as he wanted to wrench every skin. The back of his hand wiped the dusty red color, it spread around his lips messily. His dark eyebrows furrowed, teeth clenched. On his feet he got up, grabbing the bench that was underneath him. It shattered in front of him, the only mirror in his room the moment he threw the bench on it. He watched himself breaking right in front of his eyes as he yelled his heart out all of a sudden.

 

  “Damn it! Yoongi! You are at it again!” A voice, a deep voice echoed in his ears. A familiar voice he knows; a voice he hears everyday. It was no ones but Jooheon’s, his boyfriend who was one year younger than him, rolled his eyes and stood in front of him with crossed arms. Jooheon was soft looked guy, but in real he was the evilest man Yoongi ever met, even though he loves him but he would never admit the way he treats him. As long as they are together, Yoongi will remain silent, for some reason he feels safe even if he used violence with him. Jooheon was a boxer, with well built body, he would leave the small apartment of Yoongi and go to the gym for everyday training.

 

  “How many times am I going to buy a new mirror, huh? I told you to kick this habit out of you!” Jooheon spoke with clenched teeth, watching how the man in front of him burst out in tears with hands covering his messed up face. “You don’t need all these trash! You’re not fit for such things!” He approached, grabbing the lipsticks, eyeliners everything that related to make-up from the vanity as he threw them in the nearest garbage pan. “No stop it! Don’t throw them, please!” Yoongi rushed toward him, grabbing his arm as he pleaded him. “How am I going to leave the house without them!” A loud thud on the floor filled the room after the last word he spat.

 

  The drawers cracked open, just a little more force and they would break from their place. The whole set of make up was thrown away, empting the white drawers of the vanity. “Enough!!” Jooheon yelled, making the former flinch in his place with hand covering his mouth. Yoongi’s gaze became blurry and hazy yet he watched how the former moved with anger in front of him, the collar of his shirt was grabbed as he was lifted from the ground strongly, he was dragged all the way to his bathroom with his head down. Feet almost slipped from the change of the floor. “Wash it!” Jooheon crossed his arms, approaching till his shoulder collided with the former’s upper arm.

 

  “I said wash it!” The taller repeated, flinging the water open as it streamed down on the sink. The pale hands moved slowly, breaking through the flooding clear water as it draped his skin. It made a pond when he curved them a little, splashing water on his pale messed face. The black eyeliner streamed down his cheeks which made him splash water on his pale face several times, even though he couldn’t see himself because there was no mirror in the bathroom either. With a dried face towel, his face was wiped off with every single bead of water. Jooheon tossed the towel aside and looked down at the shorter who sniffed, staying still in his place.

 

  “You don’t need all this; you look fine without them.” He tried to sooth his voice with stretching hands toward the small shoulders in front of him. “. . I’m sorry.” Yoongi breathed, lifting his hands to his eyes, tossing the tears aside with lack of gentleness. His head leaned closer, resting it on the former’s chest for a minute before he rubs his palms against the muscled body of the latter, all the way to his shoulders as he wrapped his thin arms around his neck. Jooheon may use some softness toward the former, knowing how weak he can be sometimes. His legs bend down slightly, sliding his muscled arms under Yoongi’s knees and back as he lifted him from the ground.

 

  With another sniff, the older tightened his arms around him, watching how he was carried all the way back to his room that was filled with crumbled glass. The soft cold sheets underneath his back made him lean against the fondness and close his eyes for second before he let go of the former. His sleepy cold eyes wandered at Jooheon who moved in the room cleaning the broken pieces on the floor with furrowed eyebrows, the wrinkles between them were showing clearly, sending shivers down Yoongi’s spine who turned to the other side with eyes tight shut.

 

  “Don’t make me loose my temper in the smallest things, do you hear me? It’s not me who is going to get hurt but YOU, Yoongi!” The younger spat his world before he left the room to throw the sharp pieces away and heads back inside. On the bed, behind the latter where he ended, laying beside him with arms crossed behind his head. Nothing filled the room but the low sniffs that skipped the man that was laying next to him, it was so quiet that they can hear the sound of the silence that pisses the people off sometimes. The white curtains were closed as the room had a dim light from the lamp that was on, on the nightstand beside Jooheon.

 

  Yoongi’s pale fingertips were rubbing against the wrinkled sheets underneath him, biting his lower lip as he tasted the lipstick that was on it. It was bitter, with no flavor at all. “Jooheon you . .” He spoke, telling his goodbyes to the silence that was blocking them from each other. “. . Do you love me?” His back never tried to turn and rest on the sheets. Instead, he heard the latter shifts behind him and rub his body against the sheets to reach his boyfriend with arm on his waist. “Of course I love you.” The younger answered in a low tone, leaning his head down to rest it on the former who closed his eyes slowly. ‘ _Liar_ ’ Yoongi replied in his inner, feeling arm slides under his head with palm on his forehead pulling him back to the warmth of the younger behind him.

 

   He was awake the next day by strong hands shaking him. The eyelids opened slowly, eyes capturing the hazy figure in front of him as he rubbed his eyes with his pale fists, gently. “Come on get up. I have to go to the wrestling ring early today before the match.” Jooheon was well dressed, in his sweatpants and thin jacket closed firmly with a zipper, backpack hanging on one shoulder. It didn’t take the former long to get up and get fresh for the new day. What he noticed was the new mirror mirror that was pinned against the wall just above his vanity. Attention wasn’t paying much when he passed by it, ignoring it and his reflection completely as he slipped in his warm high neck sweater, skinny black jeans, thick coat, beanie and a dark mask that covered his nose and thin lips along with his chin.

 

  Every time he leaves the house he would dress the same, hiding every part in his body except his pale hands and eyes, fearing to be reflected on the others’ eyes. Jooheon never minded him, knowing his reasons and fears completely. Actually he has had enough, no matter how many times he tried to change the bad habit in Yoongi, nothing worked out. Before they left the house, he bumped his arm into the shorter by his side gently, telling him to tangle his thin arm along with his. Outside in the cold breeze where they headed after they left the building. Yoongi was used to it, leaving with Jooheon to watch him wrestling in the ring in every match, without him there staring back at the latter, Jooheon won’t be able to win and gain more strength if he was knocked out on the stage.

 

   It was a professional wrestlers wrestle that day. Jooheon was on his nerves with clenched fists, ready to fight who over will face him. Underneath the blanket of crowded clouds were they walked, heading toward the dark place that has only light on the ring. Yoongi tugged on the former’s fabrics that was covering his arm as he crawled closer avoiding the cold breeze that hit him. He was pulled even closer when hand on his upper arm rested there. The hallways inside the place that leads to the changing room was empty, one person or two would appear for seconds and vanish the next second. The walls were died gray, glossy gray with white line in the middle. The floor was sparkling from the cleanness; it was dark gray that reflected them bodies walking beside each other.

 

    Jooheon was the first one to arrive from the wrestlers, the changing room was way too dark before he turned on the light and tossed his backpack on one of the benches. The room’s walls were dyed with dark red. “Don’t leave in the middle of the wrestling, you know that I need you right?” The younger asked, turning the shorter to face him with hands on his shoulders, eyes staring into the sleepy eyes in front of him that was looking at somewhere else. The way Yoongi stays quiet pisses the latter off, he wanted hear a reply to whatever he says. Even though he loved Yoongi but the elder’s actions sometimes make him clench his fists and teeth tight. “Right?” He repeated, tightening his grips into Yoongi’s shoulders, watching how his face expression changes to pain under the mask that was covering half of his small face. His hands were strong enough for the bones between them to break any second. When he heard a whimper lifting the shorter, he released him with a push to the back.

 

   “Don’t make me do this to you . .” Jooheon continued, he was talking as if his echoes replied back to him and answered him, it hit every corner and back to his face. Another quietness made him run his fingers through his hair angrily, stretching his hands to the former’s collar as he pulled him closer and pinned him against the nearest wall. Rough relationships actually don’t work with Yoongi very well, instead of being pinned against the wall strongly he wanted to be pulled against a warm chest gently. Instead of being hit by a strong fist, he wanted to be hit by gentle arms wrap around his body. Till now he doesn’t know how he’s still with Jooheon. When a low whimper left him, the mask on his face was tossed on the ground underneath them, freeing his pinky lips and small nose.

 

   “R-Right . . Right . . I won’t leave I promise.” Yoongi gulped hard, letting the words out with a stutter.  A gale just filled the room all of a sudden, making him shiver in his place knowing what was going to happen next. “You promised the last time but you left, you left me alone and I almost lost, you know?” Jooheon spoke, leaning closer to collide his forehead with the shorter who lifted his pale hands to the fists around his collar, the last words were carrying anger along with it, like a black clouds that hid thousands of raindrops in and hail. There wasn’t any chance for the shorter to speak, he felt nothing but his thin cheekbone colliding strongly with the familiar fist. On the cold floor where he ended as he was hit strongly, the pale palm covered his cheek. His face was blank, as if he was used to it. “I-I won’t leave . . believe me. I won’t.” Yoongi spoke softly and quietly, his body was lifted from the ground slowly when the door of the changing room cracked open.

 

   He stood beside the latter with his head being turned to the other side to hide his red cheek. The dark room lightened when laughs filled it. It was laughs from happiness, from joy and hypes. “It’s going to be fun today, I believe.” A guy with orange hair stretched while talking, hitting the other guy that was with him with his fist and a wide smile on his face. “Don’t hurt yourself like the last time dude, just be more careful today. And remember what I told you!” The other guy was tall, with black hair and quite big eyes. Neither Jooheon or Yoongi paid much attention to them, the elder was standing like a broken kid while the other tossed his jacket and shirt on the bench by his side. Pulling out his dark blue shorts and red gloves from his backpack.

 

   “Jungkook did you bring my tapes?” The orange haired boy spoke again; his voice was soft unlike the other boxers that had a very deep voice. For some reason, Yoongi was thankful they opened the damn door that was locking him alone with his boyfriend, not knowing what he was going to receive next from Jooheon who’s eyebrows were furrowed. “I did I did, don’t worry about anything, Jimin.” Jungkook said smiling, pulling out the tape from Jimin’s bag along with his black gloves. The room was filled with the two talking, laughing and giggling together. To Yoongi they were the happiest people his eyes ever met as he envied them. He envied them for laughing brightly with each other instead of cries and hard punches on the face.

 

   When other wrestlers filled the changing room, Yoongi felt kind of safe. He watched the younger by his side pulling out his shorts till his waistband and slid one hand in one of his red gloves. It was lifted in front of him to knot the white laces that was covering the back of his wrists. Jooheon bit his lower lip, watching the shorter in front of him pulling the other glove and shoved his hand in as he knotted the other lace as well. They were knotted firmly just in case they don’t loose and cause a scene in the middle of the match. He stayed still in his place, until he felt every body around them vanish from the room and disappears to the hexagon ring. Yoongi grabbed the mask from the ground as he brushed it slightly before he shoved it in his coat’s pocket.

 

   “Thank you.” Jooheon let his deep voice out with eyes still staring at the former’s small face. For some reason he felt guilty for hitting him without a reason, but he pushed the thoughts away right away like a sudden breeze that hits a place then disappears. Yoongi didn’t reply and even without a hum that he heard him, he lifted his eyes to meet the latter’s small eyes with a hard gulp. As long as their eyes met, Jooheon’s heart cooled down from anger, he leaned closer, pressing the most tender kiss on the red cheek that dictated the pale thin cheek. With a deep exhale, he bit his lower lip again, turning his head away with a sigh. “. . good luck.” The soft he heard made him turn toward the elder again and peck his lips gently.

 

  The hexagon ring was surrounded by thick three dark blue ropes above each other with wide space between them, pinning against 6 of the run post. Thick layer of platform that covered with a white canvas. The stadium was surrounding the ring, seats aligned perfectly right next to each other. The gates were open for people to fill the place with their voices mixed together. To Yoongi, it was the most annoying voices his ears ever caught, he prefers quiet places instead of the noise that makes his ears’ drums explode. On the first line of the seats were he usually sits, thanks to the boxer who lives with him. A low sigh skipped him the moment his back hit the back of the seat, pale fingers intertwined together on his lap quietly.

 

  Just to ignore the voices that surrounded him, he pulled out his earphones, burning them in his ears as he played a random song with high volume. Enjoying music was better than listening to the bullshit others say on each side.  His arms crossed against his chest after he pulled the fabric of his high neck to cover his chin. Yoongi was still feeling it, the pain on his cheek was making his eyebrows furrows, insisting to show the wrinkles between them as they were fighting to settle above his nose. Wondering, until when he will allow his face and body to let others hurt them. When the lights tuned off, Yoongi knew it was the time for him to watch the most painful sport he has ever seen. Boxing wasn’t something he enjoyed much though.

 

   The beginning made him yawn, never tried to pull the earphones down from his ears not even a second. Babbles about the boxers and other things that made him roll his eyes several times. Two boxers, other two, and the next two, made him stay still in his place, stare with music playing in his ears as if nothing mattered to him at all. Different bodies, different sizes and different ages. Some of them were big enough to squish him with one finger, others were like Jooheon, well built body, muscled arms that fits his body and strong abs that will avoid every punch in his stomach. Nothing mattered to him at all, he would see people shout and move from their seats but he never felt the way they did, he would see people getting angry which made him smirk from time to time by seeing their red faces yelling without hearing their voices.

 

   The three minutes’ rounds felt like three years. Yoongi wanted Jooheon to end this and go back home to lay on his bed and sleep peacefully to forget few things at least. Just after his thought, he pulled the earphones down from his ears and stopped whatever was playing in his phone. Jooheon’s name was called as he walked toward the ring with hands in the air, showing the people his red gloves with his wide smile, letting the dimples on his lower cheeks appears. Yoongi never saw him happy more than him being in the ring surrounded by the thick ropes. He watched him colliding his covered fists together with a loud roar. Not even a slight smile left Yoongi, even though the younger was looking at the first seats for him, even though he smiled at him but the elder stared at him back with his cold eyes and blank expression.

 

   The lights were focusing on the ring, that lit the boxer that was standing there on a corner waiting for his opponent to jump on the stage to attack him right away with his punches. His opponent wasn’t any boxer that would let himself fall easily in front of the crowd. If the guy just showed in front of him was his opponent then he was lucky, soft face, puffy pink lips, smiley eyes and orange hair with bangs covering his forehead. If anyone looked at Jimin’s face, they would never know that he was a professional boxer with astonish techniques. Slight laughs from sarcastic left Jooheon who turned his face to the side once he met the shirtless guy in front of him with black shorts and gloves. “You serious bringing this weak guy here?” He spat, watching how the younger in front of him rose one eyebrow and smirked.

 

   “Let’s not judge before the fight, yeah?” Jimin smirked again, jumping in his place, ready for whatever was going to face him. The veins underneath his skin was popping out on his muscled arms and body. A smile showed on his face, it was bright like the shining moon in the dark sky. Jooheon hates Jimin’s likes the most, cheerful guys with bright smiles. To him they were weak and a gum between him teeth. A man stood between them with hand in the air, making sure the two of them were ready before he speaks “Fight!”. Jimin never took the fist step, his eyes were focused on his opponent in front of him with their legs moving walking in rounds in the ring. Slightly stretched arms in front of them. His moves were getting in Jooheon’s nerves as he stepped forward standing in his guard position to throw a straight punch on the face in front of him.

 

  Defense what Jimin focus on, he slipped down right away punching the side of Jooheon’s right away with feet jumping to the back. “ooh~ So that’s what you do huh! Reading my moves first.” The latter spoke, smirking at the orange haired guy in front of him who was smiling widely without a response. Yes, that was what Jimin did, reading the moves of his opponent before he throws his punches at them and deal with them till he knocks them out on the stage underneath their feet. His gloves covered his face when Jooheon approached throwing his strong punch. Slowly Jimn was making the older rage in his place with his fast moves. He’d pull away, blocks, sway his body to miss the welcoming punches.  The first three minutes of the first round passed by quickly with their slight moves.

 

   On one of the corners where Jimin threw himself, staring back at Jooheon who was staring back at him with vulture’s eyes. “Why are you going easy on him?” Jungkook almost whispered in Jimin’s ears who smiled again in his place. “Isn’t this fun? Watching him getting angry slowly and then attacks me with his real power?” Jimin spoke, never tried to drop the eye contact between them. The second round was what Jimin liked. The moment they were ready to fight, he moved closer throwing a straight punch on Jooheon face as he stepped backward with furrowed eyebrows. “Not bad, huh!” He spat the blood that gathered in his mouth as he approached the younger who moved fast and blocked his punch right away, sliding one gloved hand to the other side of the latter’s body.  “I told you not to judge at the beginning, didn’t I?” Jimin laughed slightly, as he was enjoying every little move he took in that ring.

 

   “Whatever kid-“ Jooheon was cut by an uppercut, his opponent bend down quietly and pushed upward with a thrown punch from down. Great, the younger was making him busy by talking to him and distracts him. Not a single punch touched Jimin’s body yet which made him stronger than Jooheon who raged in his place and moved forward throwing his punch at the younger who was able to defense himself and move away from him. Jooheon would be thrown back, against the rope that pulled him up again, rushing toward the latter who gave him a straight punch with his rear hand and the other attack the side of his body again. Receiving two punches at the same time was hard for Jooheon though.

 

   Yoongi on the other side was clenching his fists, watching Jooheon being almost defeated in front of him made him furrow his eyebrows. If Jooheon loses this round, it’ll be his first lose. “Fucker!” Jooheon spat, moving his legs forward toward the younger who rose one eyebrow with fists near his jawlines. “Knock him down, Jimin!!” Jungkook yelled all of a sudden, rushing near the ring as he gave his friend some strength, even though Jooheon the one who needed someone to cheer him up. The younger walked in rounds again, reading the guy in front of him carefully. It was a distraction when he turned his head all of a sudden and felt a punch on the side of his head as he stepped backward.

 

   “Shit!” Jimin cursed under his breath, rushing forward with a straight punch on the former’s face, another straight punch on the side of his head as he was returning it. The moment his opponent’s body pressed against the ropes, he approached again throwing punches at him as if he was the weakest body on earth in front of him. “Get your fucking ass up here in the middle!” Jimin almost yelled, there it was again, his enthusiasm, power and strength to defeat the guy in front of him with few more punches with his black gloves. A smirk from anger showed on Jooheon’s face, lifting his own body from the ropes approaching the orange headed guy. The moment he stepped in the middle, he heard the familiar voice. The familiar low voice was loud enough for him to turn his face toward no one but Yoongi who called out for him.

 

   “Pull yourself together!” Yoongi yelled again, watching how his boyfriend’s opponent turned toward him with the same smirk. A shock hit his chest when Jimin shook his head and turned toward Jooheon with another straight punch on his head making him fall on the stage with blood streaming down his mouth.  It was counting, the numbers above Jooheon’s head. Jimin left him almost unconscious in just two rounds, and that made him wonder where his opponent came from. It won’t be easy from now on to Jooheon because, he finally found someone he can truly fight. Jimin rose his arms in the air when the number ten filled his ears as he won his fight against Jooheon. It was a shock for almost everyone who came to cheer him up along with Yoongi who stood in his place, speechless.

 

   “You are awesome as ever!” Jungkook smiled widely, giving his friend a bottle of water after he stepped out from the ring covered with sweat and one bruised cheek. “Thanks man!” Jimin smiled, irrigating his throat till the last drop in the bottle between his fingers. His bottom settled on the bench in the changing room with a sigh skipping him, towel was  around his nape, dropping down the crooks of his neck as it hit his upper chest. “Jimin, about what you told me before. I found an apartment, you can move before the other apartment you wanted to have, it needs some time you know.” Jungkook pulled out clean clothes handing them to the latter who took them with open ears.

 

  “It a bit small is that fine?” He asked, watching the older in front of him nods his head. “As long as I can live in peace that’s fine.” Jimin changed into his clean clothes, lifting his bag in one arm as he left the changing room just to face his farmer opponent right behind the door. There was not a single word spoken because they knew the place would turn upside down. Jimin left quietly, ignoring if there were another opponents waiting for him. In Jungkook’s car where he jumped, in the front seat beside him with a loud sigh. “Oh right! I moved your things there already though.” The younger smiled turning on the engine as he started driving away. “Drop me there then.” Jimin replied, sliding himself a little on the seat as he rested his head on the window with closed eyes.

 

  The building wasn’t new nor old, it was covered with glass from the first brick till the end. Jimin’s apartment was in the 15th floor which made him sigh again, it would be hard to use the elevator all the time though. The apartment had a small living room, one bedroom and kitchen. Just like Yoongi’s. To Jimin, it was fine, he doesn’t need a huge villa for himself though. After a warm bath in his new bathroom, he wrapped a towel around his waist to head toward his closet that was already holding his folded clothes there. White shorts and black shirt was what he wore before he threw himself on his bed. It was so comfy that made him breath deeply and smile slightly.

 

   Jimin wondered if Jungkook left any food in his new kitchen, because his stomach was growling from hunger at that moment. His feet touched the floor, smiling at his reflection in the mirror before he left the room, stopping in the middle of the living room. It was echoing, a sound of loud cries, sound of yelling filled his ears as he froze in his place with shivers underneath his skin. Jimin walked closer toward the door as he heard it again, more yells and cries made him run to his bed again and curl underneath his blanket from the sudden fear, as if he was in a horror movie or something. Before he closed his eyes, he wished for everything that happened in the apartment next to his to be alright.

 


	2. Stiff

 

 

 

The sun was above the horizon in the orange sky. Clouds still in their place, sprinkled as they block the sun from time to time to shade the earth underneath them. Far from people’s eyes, far from the wrestling ring where no one knows, he was dragged strongly by the hand. The pale hand that was buried between a strong grip felt the blood stopped running there. The white door of his apartment that was in the 15th floor cracked open in front of the taller in front of him. With a loud thud on the floor, he was thrown robustly. Jooheon tosses his backpack aside in the entrance of the house, approaching the older who crawled backward with adam’s apple moving up and down from the hard gulps.

“It has nothing to do with me if you lost one round!” Yoongi almost yelled, trying to get up on his feet again. The living room had no lights, the opened curtains allowed the orange sun rays to breakthrough the glass and light the place for them. The air was swelling slowly; it was hard for Yoongi to breath for a second. “Do you know what it feels like to return back home with bruised body caused by a kid out there!” Jooheon yelled, stretching his hands in front of him to pull the older in front of him closer by his collar. Underneath the ceiling a whimper left the latter with head turned to the side. Yoongi was getting lost everyday more with Jooheon, he can’t understand him at all. Sometimes he’d be tender with him and give him love, sometimes he’d beat him to death and throw him on the corner of the room all broken.

“I thought you would cheer me and call my name.” Jooheon clenched his teeth when the former tossed his hands aside, stepping backward till his back hit the door of the small balcony behind him. “I called you! I called for you and told you to pull yourself together!” Yoongi yelled, pushing the taller in front of him backward.

“When? After I was all beaten up in front of the crowd!” The younger approached. All he watched was darkness around him, he was totally blind. When madness takes over him, nothing can stop him not even Yoongi, the person he loves. The clenched fist by his side lifted in the air as he collided it with the shorter’s thin cheek. Like a numb body, Yoongi fell on the ground with a groan. Yoongi was locked in a prison between Jooheon’s hands, he wanted to free himself, he wanted to leave his own apartment and wander in the streets instead of living alone with the younger. “Stop it.” His deep cold voice filled the air all of a sudden. His palms pushed his body from the ground as he stood, watching the beanie that was on his head falls down on the floor underneath him.

Slight laughs echoed in his ears, laughs that he wished if they were cries, laughs he wanted to block his ears to never listen to them again. “You never ordered me, you know that?” Slight laughs left Jooheon again, approaching one more time to the older who shut his eyes tight the moment he felt fingers wrap around his neck. With another thud Yoongi was thrown on the ground one more time. “Get the fuck out. .” It was low, the latters voice on the ground. “Get the fuck out of here!!” His voice yelled all of a sudden, standing on his feet as he rushed toward Jooheon pushing him toward the door with lack of gentleness. “I’m done with you get the fuck out!!” Yoongi couldn’t hold his anger any longer, his patience broke the glass that surrounded it.

“Are you breaking up with me?” The younger’s face was straight enough to send shivers down Yoongi’s spine. He approached, attacking the older right away with his fists. “Are you fucking breaking up with me!!” Jooheon yelled, feeling the former’s pale hands pushing him away. Fear was surrounding Yoongi, his end was between the younger’s hands for sure. Coughs left him when he felt a kick on his chest that tossed him on the dead couch. Compared to Jooheon, Yoongi was way too small, he was letting out his anger on the small figure in front of him with loud yells. Blood streamed down the elder’s face who couldn’t concentrate anymore. Face covered with cuts and bruises, blood streamed down his mouth and forehead. With strong grips on his fabrics, he was pulled upward from the couch all the way to his room.

Right in front of the mirror where he stood with Jooheon behind him. “Who do you think will love this face of yours other than me!!” The younger spoke in a low tone with clenched teeth in Yoongi’s ears who shut his eyes tight with quivering lips. “Who do you think will stay long enough and be patient with you other than me, huh!” Jooheon yelled grabbing the back of Yoongi’s hair forcing him to open his eyes and look back at his reflection, at his messed up face. “ . .You’re hurting me.” The older spoke in a low tone, trying his best to keep his eyes shut instead of his dead reflection that showed him how bad he looked at that moment. “Stop it I beg you . .” He pleaded, moving his pale hands to the strong grip on the back of his hair.

The warmth of the younger’s chest was pressed against his back; it was a hurtful warmth that he doesn’t want to feel. Warmth that was filled with hate and pain. “Open your eyes and face reality, Yoongi.” Jooheon pushed him forward, making him stumble on the perfumes and hit the mirror in front of him. It was painful, it was so painful for the elder’s heart to handle all the blood that was on his face. His heart was clenching in his chest from the way he was tossed around like a broken toy. The way he was treated wasn’t helpful at all. His knees touched the ground slowly, palms holding the edge of the vanity with forehead resting against the drawer. It was low, his sniff. With every second it was loudening as he filled the room with low cries. Yoongi wanted to rip his chest apart, to peal his skin piece by piece.

The warm tears behind his eyeballs filled his eyes as they rolled down his cheeks, drop by drop followed by each other. His limps turned white from the hard grip into the solid material underneath them. The more he wept, the more Jooheon clenched his fists behind him. The air was thick around them as they couldn’t breath, everything was suffocating Yoongi to the point that he felt himself out of breath. Another hard night. When the sun goes down, the room had no light at all, not even a fading one. The curtains of the room were closed, blocking the moonlight from spreading in the room that had nothing but weeping sounds and sniffs. Jooheon bent down behind him, gulping before he sneaks his arms around the former’s torso pulling him back again to his chest. “. . Stop it.” The younger breathed, feeling the older struggling, trying to free himself but his arms were wrapped firmly.

“T-This is . . A-All your f-fault!” Yoongi spoke between his sobs, moving his hands on top of the latter’s arms, trying to push them down his thin body. “Let’s stop here . .” he continued, lifting his hands to his eyes to wipe the tears away that made him wince whenever they spread over his cuts on his face. “Let’s break up, Jooheon.” The more he spoke, the more he felt the arms around him tighten making him gave up from holding the rest of his tears. “No Yoongi, don’t do this. I love you!” Jooheon gulped, bending his head down to the small shoulder as it rested there.

“You don’t love me . . You don’t love me Jooheon! You never even tried!” Yoongi struggled again, trying to free himself but the younger was insisted to keep him locked between his muscled arms. “If you really love me you won’t try to hurt me, you won’t even try to pull me out from my fears. You never tried to do anything!! You never did anything for me!! You don’t love me!! You don’t!!” He yelled his heart out, shouted the truth out from his heavy chest. The younger didn’t know if everything was true, all he knew was he doesn’t want to let go of Yoongi yet. His arms tightened around the former as he picked him up from the ground, with a turn he placed him down on the bed and hovered over him. Completely expecting the struggles again underneath him which made him pin Yoongi’s pale wrists against the sheets.

“Yoongi . . believe me, I do love you.” Jooheon spoke in a low tone, inhaling deeply before he leans, colliding his forehead with Yoongi’s bloody one. A sniff underneath him filled the space between them. Yoongi was done with all this, not anymore. The inches between their faces where closing, it was closing sinking needles in the elder’s heart deeply. With a slight turn, Jooheon trailed him, rubbing their noses together as he leaned all of a sudden crashing their lips together. It felt wrong, it felt totally wrong to Yoongi. This shouldn’t have happened at that moment. His pale fists pushed the younger away from him, tuning his head to the other side to avoid the next kiss that was going to plant on his pink lips. His dark sleeves wiped his lips, ignoring the cold eyes above him completely.

Jooheon doesn’t give up easily. Watching Yoongi acting this way under him made him lean one more time and pull the older in a sloppy kiss. Low whimpers skipped the latter again, pushing the younger off of him. Yoongi wanted to breath, to let the air fill his lungs for seconds but Jooheon didn’t give him the chance. The moment the younger pulled back, the blood in his cheek boiled. A slap on his cheek made him freeze in his place with eyes steady on the man under him, when there was no response from him Yoongi slapped him again, never tried to stop his pale hand from slapping the younger for the third time. “Asshole. .” He breathed, fisting into the former’s shirt, pushing him away from him as he almost fell on his back.

The room’s quietness drove Jooheon insane when the elder’s feet dragged him all the way to the living room, throwing himself on the couch that was facing the TV. It was the only light in the whole apartment, it hit his pale face with every change of a scene in the channel in front of him. The low volume of it was irritating Yoongi, but laziness took over his body to move and mute it. From the distressful tears, his gaze was blurry, everything in front of him was phosphine, nothing was clear at all. His eyelids were harmed as it surrounded with redness. It was hard for him to swallow; his quivering lips were steady. A wave of coldness hit him, like a little kid he curled on the couch with arms wrapped around himself.

Jooheon cussed, burying his face behind his palms with elbows resting on his thighs. All he was thinking about was to get Yoongi back. How is he going to stop him from breaking up with him? He asked himself with fingers messing his hair angrily. If he tried to move and grab the elder’s hand, maybe they’d start anew, but Jooheon threw himself back on bed with eyes closed shut from the whole bad memory that happened to the both of them. He totally knew about himself being a dickhead, and knew how Yoongi loves everything emotional between them instead of bad. At the beginning of their relationship one year ago, the younger used to make Yoongi the happiest, they would cuddle together and face each other instead of going out sometimes. It was all peaceful, filled with comfort until Jooheon started to show his real self to the elder.

Only dark skies that hung above Yoongi, the ceiling was suffocating him, the walls that surrounded the room sucked all the air he needed to breath. His blurry gaze wandered toward the small balcony, even if he left for some fresh air, the darkness will trail him as if it was living in his shadow. The pale palms wiped his tears for the last time before he got up slowly, feeling the pain underneath his skin scratching him, freeing the dark shoots out of him. “. .Fuck.” Yoongi hummed under his breath, moving his hand to the side of his body to shield his bruises that spread under his shirt. His pale feet rubbing against the floor, they were crawling slowly toward the glass in front of him. The moon in his gaze that was up in the sky was like a bright path for him to walk through, stretch his hand to grab it with his both hands.

It turned on automatically from the sensors that someone stood underneath it, the light that was hanging outside. Yoongi inhaled deeply, the moment he let his toes outside the dark apartment into the balcony, his eyes shut tight for seconds before they opened along with the exhale that said goodbye to his lungs. It was a quite night, even though he lived in a building but his windows overlooked at the narrow street down with few houses down. Yoongi would always keep the door open behind him just in case he doesn’t turn and look back at his reflection. The dark coat was still drowning him inside it, warming him from the cold breeze in the open air. Maybe the wind would blow the pain in his chest away, he thought before he sighed deeply.

 

Hiding under the blanket didn’t work for Jimin when he tried to escape the scary yells he heard from the next door. For some reason his heart wasn’t in its place. Being strong from the outside doesn’t mean he was strong from the inside. Yes, he was a boxer, he was strong with muscled body but his heart was like a child, filled with pureness, innocence and kindness. What kind of apartment he fell in? He asked himself before he shifted on his back with open arms on his bed. With a loud sigh, he lifted his torso from the sheets underneath him, sitting like a psycho with blank expression on his face. If his phone didn’t vibrate beside him, he would stay still in his place staring at the wall in front of him in the darkness.

‘Minhyuk hyung’ The name was showing on his screen that lit his face, it was still 10PM when Jimin answered the call, moving the phone to his ear with a breath. “Yes hyung?” He answered laying back on the sheets, hearing Minhyuk’s voice on the other line chuckling slightly. “Do you need anything else? I moved your luggages with Jungkookie earlier.”

“I’m hungry!” Jimin sat straight again, throwing the blanket on him aside as he walked to the living room to turn the lights on. He was thankful for his friend to call at that moment, making him forget about what he heard earlier. “I’m already out do you want me to get you something? I’ll come over.” It was obvious that he was out to the younger, the sound of the cars passing by, people talking which he couldn’t understand because they were too many. The curtains that covered his balcony were covering every glass which made him walk toward it, with his small hand opening the curtains slightly. “You know the passcode of the door, right?” Jimin asked, eyes wandering toward the night sky behind his glass.

The call ended when the elder hummed as response. Minhyuk and Jungkook are Jimin’s closest friends. They were there when Jimin found some interest in boxing, was there when he was a trainer in one of the gyms, inspired him to move his feet on the boxing ring until he reached the wrestling ring as he became a professional wrestler there. The two grabbed his both small hands and walked on his path along with him. They would be there for him when he feels down, stay by his side until they see the beautiful smile appears on his face again, making sure it wasn’t fake though. The small hand touched the glass in front of him, the coldness sent shivers down his forearm all the way to his back. It was shoved in his black short’s pocket, the phone that was wrapped by his small fingers.

The cold air hit him right away when he opened the door of the balcony. Head tilted to the both sides when he stepped outside, letting his feet touches the dust underneath him. “Holly fuck! You scared the shit out of me!” Jimin almost yelled, stepping back hastily with hands on his chest that rose and fell rapidly. He never expected to meet nor see anyone outside in the cold, in the night, standing alone in the balcony beside his with face covered with bruises and blood. From his showing neck and ears, Jimin can tell he was pale. Like a portrait, not a single expression showed on the guy’s face nor he moved from his place, his cold sleepy eyes looked back at Jimin for seconds before he turns his gaze back to the front.

Did he end up all beaten from the fight he heard? Jimin asked himself with eyes looking at the side of his face. A soft chuckle left him, laughing at himself for getting scared from the other’s presence. The same orange hair, the same voice, the same smile, Yoongi remember him from earlier in the wrestling ring. Jimin was the one who knocked Jooheon down, the only reason behind the bruises on his face. “Are you alright there?” The question made him curse the latter in his inner, telling him to fuck off and leave him alone. The same silence skipped the elder among them with head turning to the other side, totally ignoring Jimin who smirked facing the front, too. “Wait here a second!” The younger spoke after few seconds, rushing inside his new apartment.

It should be there, the first aid-kit somewhere, Jungkook always made sure that Jimin had it with him everywhere he went. Jimin moved his feet to the kitchen, opening every cabinet to let his eyes capture the familiar white box. Drawer after another was opened until he found it in the last one with huge grin on his face. His small hands took out bandaids and ointment, legs dragged him back to the balcony as he smiled when his eyes captured Yoongi again. “Here, I hope this helps.” Jimin moved closer, stretching his hands all the way to the other balcony.

Yoongi rose one eyebrow when he turned his head to look down at the small hands handing him the bandaids. Was Jimin serious? He asked himself lifting his gaze to the smile the younger carried on his face. Without any move, his sleepy eyes stared for minutes at the younger’s whose smile faded with every second. The breeze blew, brushing Jimin’s hair from the back all the way to Yoongi’s face, brushing his bangs to the back. The wind carried the elder’s voice along with him, with silence he broke the stare turning his feet back inside his apartment, leaving the younger with his stretched hands in front of him in the cold air outside. When Jimin heard the click sound of the door as it closed, his lips curved into a slight broken smile.

The small hands were pulled back closer to their owner’s body, a sigh skipped him when he turned his feet inside his own apartment. The bandaids and ointment were placed inside their home, in the white box. It returned in it’s place in the last drawer with silence. Jimin swallowed before he turned his feet back to the living room. At the same time, the sound of the door unlocking satisfied the air in the entrance. There was no one but Minhyuk who rushed inside with a box of pizza and beers. “I’m freezing!” He spoke placing whatever was in his hand on the rounded table in front of the couch, hands rubbing his upper arms to warm himself. “PIZZA!!” Jimin almost jumped from his place, kneeling in front of the box with sparkled eyes, stretching his small hands that was rejected minutes ago to the green and white box in front of him with tongue sticking out like a hungry puppy.

“Man thanks for this, I was starving!” Jimin smiled widely, opening the box as he grabbed a warm piece in his hand. His teeth bit the thin baked layer, pulling it back, stretching the cheese that were holding into the surface. “Eat well buddy.” Minhyuk smiled, opening a can of beer to irrigate his dried throat. His adam’s apple moved up and down with every swallow. A slice of pizza hanged between his teeth with eyes wondering toward the younger who grabbed the remote of the TV, turning it on. Actually, he was thankful for his friends to bring his TV all the way there in the small apartment. The channels were flipped on random shows until Jimin settled on a drama that was playing already.

“Don’t you think your new apartment is a bit small?” The older asked, leaning his back against the couch behind him as he crawled closer toward the younger who shook his head in his place. “I think it’s good for one person though.” Jimin stretched his hand for another slice and opened a can of beer along in the way to sit back. After swallowing the bite in his mouth, he turned his head toward the elder whose eyes were focused on the screen in front of him. “But hey . .” He spoke rubbing his nape “The neighbors here are weird, really.”. Minhyuk rose one eyebrow as he turned his head toward him. “Weird? You managed to meet them already?” He asked, lifting his knees closer to his chest.

Nods from Jimin’s head made him chuckle under his breath. “I heard them yelling at each other earlier, they were like beasts believe me. Before you came I went outside that balcony, I met one of them. But damn! He was all beaten up.” The younger was moving his hands in a cute way, pointing at his face as if it was his first time seeing someone beaten up from head to toe. Legs crossed on the carpet they were sitting on. “Well then I guess you’ve got bad neighbors not weird.” Minhyuk ended his words with a yawn, his head fell down to the younger’s shoulder with closed eyes. Tiredness was taking over him from moving Jimin luggages and wander in the streets, his heavy eyelids dictated his eyes letting his eyelashes rests on his cheeks.

“Don’t sleep here, sleep on bed.”

“Too lazy to move.” The elder replied in a sleepy tone, lifting his heavy head with too much pressure. The younger among the two got on his feet, pulling his friend along with him to his room helping him to get under the blanket before he sighs lowly. The green box that was holding slices of pizzas minutes go was lifted from the table along with the empty cans of beers to the trash pan in the kitchen. For some reason, his eyes wandered toward to the last drawer, for minutes he stayed still in his place staring at it with head filled with the messed up face his eyes captured earlier. Is he going to be alright? Jimin asked himself in his inner before he walks back to his room, pulling the blanket a bit from his friend crawling beside him with a sigh.

The next morning, Yoongi woke up feeling pain on his face. The cuts on his skin was burning him making him shift from his position to his back with head turning to the other side. The pain was steady which made him wince and furrow his eyebrows. All he could see was the color black, like a background behind his own back that was standing far, legs under what it seemed to him black sea. His pale hand was stretching in front of him, his eyes were on them before he sees his bare pale feet running on the black ground, they were moving hastily as if they are rushing to something. When his gaze was lifted, he was running behind his own back trying to catch it and turn his own body to look back at himself but it was walking in front of him with black shadows surrounding him.

He ran faster, stretched his hand further. The moment his fingertips touched his own shoulder, his figure in front of him turned with black face. None of his face parts was shown as he yelled at his own self. Eyes flinched opened with sweat dropping down his body, Yoongi moved his hand to his bruised chest that rose and fell rapidly from whatever his eyelids showed him. With a hard gulp he turned his head slowly to Jooheon who was sitting by his side on the small space on the couch, holding a cotton in his hand and medicine in the other. “You okay?” He asked placing whatever was in his hands down one the table. Yoongi tried to cool down his heavy breaths, eyes closed for seconds before he inhales deeply and sit slowly on the couch that made his body sore from sleeping all night on in.

Silence left him, his pale hands pushed the former’s when he tried to touch him. “Yoongi . .” The younger gulped, rubbing his bottom against the couch, crawling closer with hands never giving up from touching what was still to him his boyfriend. “Why are you still here, get out. I’m done with you.” The elder let the words out in a low serious sleepy tone, watching how the younger’s face crumbled into tiny pieces in front of him. “I didn’t break up with you yet.” Jooheon gulping, pushing the latter back down on the couch as he hovered over him. The living room had a cold dark air first thing when Yoongi opened his eyes, as if someone pulled the ceiling and let the clouds snow on them. Yoongi’s sleepy eyes met Jooheon’s with cold expression, letting him pins his wrists beside his head and stare back at him.

Even if Jooheon refused to break up with him, since he made his mind about leaving the younger he would. All he wanted was a peaceful relationship that accepts who he really was, but the younger never did anything that benefits him. “Get off me.” Yoongi clenched his teeth, watching how the younger froze in his place with shaking head, the moment he tried to lean the elder pushed him back, getting on his feet all the way to the bathroom locking the door behind him. Throat dried from gulping hard, pale hands touching the slippy ointment on his thin cheeks that spread on his bruises. “Yoongi!” The familiar voice behind the door made him lean his back against it with head down. “Let me fix this please, Yoongi.” Joooheon pleaded behind the door, hands resting on the wooden white door.

“Fuck off Jooheon.” The elder spat, moving his feet toward the sink. It was cold, sending shivers underneath his skin, the water that was splashed on his pale swollen face. Drops dropped down his chin all the way to the sink. For half an hour he stayed still in his place, locking himself in the bathroom until he felt quietness behind the closed door. When the sound of the unlock satisfied the air, his thin body walked to the living room with a loud sigh. It was empty, his whole apartment, the younger left with furrowed eyebrows to the training, leaving whatever he left broken behind him. In the end he’d let his anger out on the boxing bag in the gym. Yoongi felt light in his chest, he had his breakfast quietly while sitting around the table. The white box on the table of the living room that was embracing the bandaids made him sigh in his place, it all reminded him of the orange haired dude he met in the balcony the previous night. Maybe if he took whatever he was holding, he’d treat himself alone without any pain from Jooheon’s heavy hands.

Pale fingers touching the frame of the door of his room, legs crawling slowly toward the edge of his vanity. It was there again, a new mirror Jooheon pinned the day before. He watched it clearly, how it reflected his messed bed, the way the sheets were wrinkled. It was the same, the way everything reflected on the mirror beside him. Like a shooting star, the previous night hit his head and vanished right away. The way Jimin jumped in his place the moment he watched the wrenched face made him wonder, was he scary?

Yoongi gulped hard, lifting his quivering hand from beside his body all the way in the air. His pale long fingers were the only thing that reflected on the glass. After few seconds, his palm. Every line was clearly seen, Yoongi gulped again crawling closer to the mirror as his forearm was reflecting along with his pale hand. It dropped back to it’s real place, beside his body. When he crawled closer, the edge of his small shoulder reflected in front of him. “. . am I really scary?” His voice filled the air that surrounded him, it was low almost whispering to himself. It was almost there, his bruised face. His pale ears were showing, he could see them clearly, a little more crawling and there his thin cheek along with the corner of his eyes. After a deep breath, he let half of his face look back at himself with trembling hands on the sides of his body.

Every purple bruise that surrounded with green and yellow made him whimper in his place. His bottom lip was bitten by his own small teeth, moving to his left a bit more to watch his whole face covered with cuts and bruises. “You’re scaring people now . .” The words were to his own reflection. Eyelids blinking several time, colliding with his waterline. It was suffocating him, like a strong thick chains wrapped around his neck, strangling him, blocking the air to reach his lungs. Every part in him was dead already, his eyes were starting to swell with every second he stayed a bit more in front of his reflection. Just like the vision he watched in the morning, his face was covered with black shadows, not a single part was showing which made him step back with low whimpers. “ . . no no no no . . no.” He was repeating under his breath, knees touched the ground with warm tears rolling down his cheeks. The familiar pale hands gripped into the sides of his hair as he cried out loud, filling his own bedroom with his sobs.


	3. Let go

It was hitting the wall, with low thuds filling the living room. The speed bag that was dyed with red and dark blue hit his fists back, to keep his hands up while fighting. It was hanging in his living room that was filled with boxing materials to train by himself instead of going to the gym every single day. Jimin was focusing on the moving speed bag in front of his brown eyes, mind reached the space from thinking. The curtains were open, along with the glass door of his balcony, letting the chilly breeze filling the living room. Suave moves from the fabrics of the curtains, his orange hair was moving along with the wind that blew inside like waves in the clear sea that reflects the sky to steal the blue color from it. 

Beads of sweat were curled and turned over and over down his temples, down till his jawbone as it dropped down on the floor. Heavy breaths were skipping between his puffy lips that was parted slightly. Jimin was feeling alive for some reason, hitting the speed bag with his fists made him gain some energy. The veins in his muscled arms were popping out, showing clearly underneath the thin layer of his tan skin. Choir in his ears made his heart beat calmly, the birds outside singing their every day’s morning songs. Their tiny fingers were wrapping around the rail, just like animated movies, they were Jimin’s little friends that made him wake up every morning with a smile. 

Loud yawn filled the living room, Minhyuk crawled outside Jimin’s room with hand under his shirt, scratching his flat belly and chest. “How do you wake up early every day and train, isn’t that tiring?” The elder among the two spoke with feet dragging him to the couch as he threw himself on it, laying on his belly. “Not really. I’m a morning person.” Jimin smiled slightly, hitting the bag in front of him one last time before he tosses the thin blue gloves aside from his hand. “I have to go to the ring today, I can’t miss other opponents like the last time.” Jimin sighed, walking to his bedroom to pull out some clothes before he locks himself in his bathroom to take a shower and wash the sweat away. His muscles stretched, resting underneath his flesh when the warm water ran down his body. 

The main door of his apartment made the click sound as it locked the moment he stepped outside. Jimin sniffed slightly before he turned his feet with Minhyuk toward the elevator that was at the end of the hallway. The same sound of his door opened as it echoed in his ears made him stop his feet and turn to the next door beside his just to see the familiar bruised face behind him. Jimin swore he saw dried tears at the corner of his eyes. Just like the time stopped, Yoongi stood in his place leaving some space between them with eyes looking back at the younger with surprise. First, he felt bad for rejecting him the previous day. Second, he doesn’t know why his voice vanished when he wanted to speak to the younger in front of him. With total ignore, Yoongi took step to the side passing by him with confused look on his face. 

“Hey!” Jimin called, not knowing the former’s name as he watched his feet stop without turning his face to look back at him. “Do you feel better today?” The question made the former gulp hard and move his feet, letting the voice that ran in his ears disappear as if he heard nothing. For some reason Jimin thought Yoongi was mute, but the voices he heard the previous day weren’t from one person. Minhyuk who was standing beside his friend rose one eyebrow with eyes wandering toward the younger who smirked, letting his feet drag him toward the silver elevator. To reach the ground floor was like standing for 15 minutes to Jimin, he preferred the stairs though. Yoongi stood near the buttons, giving his back to the two behind him with head down, staring at his black shoes. 

Holes were digging on the back of his head and back. Jimin was starring at him with arms crossed against his chest, back resting on the wall of the elevator behind him. His eyes would drop down to the pale hand that had long thing finger, back to the side of his head as he titled his head to the side to see him properly. Redness was sprinkled on his face like colors were wiped on his face, the bruises were steady surrounded with green, cuts as if he was scratched with sharp claws. His sleepy eyes were blinking slightly, small nose and pink lips, Jimin watched them all with his brown eyes wandering on the latter’s face. “Park Jimin!” Minhyuk called all of a sudden snapping him from whatever he was staring at, turning his face toward him. 

“Stop it..” The older almost whispered, colliding his elbow with Jimin’s arm. “What?” The younger looked at his friend with surprise, fringe turning to the back with his small hand. “You’re making him uncomfortable, stop staring.” Minhyuk whispered, grabbing Jimin’s arms when the elevator door opened to the ground floor. Yoongi left before the door opens completely, letting his thin body out from the space between the doors that opened in front of him. The direction he took was the opposite to Jimin’s, for the last time the younger turned to stare at the back that vanished in a flash of light. The weather was a bit cold, the two sniffed rubbing their palms together for some warmth. 

“That dude was the one I talked about yesterday.” Jimin spoke, eyes staring at the road in front of him, lifting his bag to his shoulder. His ears captured hums as response. Cars passed by them, people busy walking on the streets going to work, some of them were students going to their schools. The wrestling ring wasn’t empty, Jimin never went early there. In the familiar hallways where he walked, gulping hard all of a sudden, swallow after another when he felt a strange pain in his stomach. “Jimin?” Minhyuk called, turning to his friend who stopped his feet all of a sudden with hand on his stomach. The bag that was hanging on his shoulder fell to the ground as he bent down not being able to endure the sharp pain that spread in his stomach all of a sudden. “Jimin what’s wrong!” The elder asked worriedly, bending down in front of the younger when he heard a groan. 

“It hurts!” Jimin confessed, shutting his eyes tight with head touching the ground underneath them. His guts were stretching to the point that they end up cutting in his stomach. “Hyung it hurts so much! I can’t-“ His words were cut the moment he lifted his head, hand moving to his mouth as he failed to hold the vomit that showered Minhyuk’s torso. “What the fuck Jimin!” The elder among the two cussed under his breath, turning his head to the side to avoid the bad smell that filled the air around them. Heavy breathes in the hallway made the elder run circles on Jimin’s back. Phone vibrating in his pocket, Minhyuk pulled his phone just to see Jungkook’s name on the screen calling him, waiting for him to answer on the other side. 

“Where are you?” Minhyuk asked right away the moment he picked the call. 

“Just reached the ring to see Jimin, why?” He heard the younger on the other line. 

“Get your ass over here at this instant! Jimin isn’t feeling well.” 

It didn’t take long for Jungkook’s echoing foot steps to fill the hallway they were in. Just like the wind blew, the youngest rushed toward them with panic, bending down the moment he watched his friend on the floor with arms wrapped around his stomach. “Jimin what’s wrong!” Jungkook asked, running his hands on the former’s back as he was answered with silence. “Can you stand?” he asked again, watching Jimin’s head shaking beside him. 

“It hurts so much!” Jimin managed to talk, gulping hard, feeling the same sensation filling him as he wanted to throw up again. It was suffocating him, he wanted to breath, to let the air fill his lungs perfectly. A groan satisfied the air around them, Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, lifting Jimin’s arm to his shoulder helping him to stand, seconds and the former was lifted from the ground in his arms, rushing toward his car with hastily legs. “I’ll take you to the hospital.” Jimin was hearing him, but the pain in his stomach was tying his tongue firmly. As long as the pain is going to vanish, he didn’t care where his friends are going to take him. He was placed on the back leather seat of Jungkook’s black car along with Minhyuk who was showered with his vomit. 

The whole thing made Jimin clench his teeth and fists. He would hum a cuss from time to time till they reached the hospital. “Come on.” Minhyuk breathed, pulling his friend gently out from the car who was still groaning from the killer pain in his stomach. Toward the emergency department where they headed, placing Jimin on one of the beds before they took him away from them. The same wind blew, hitting the two that made them gulp hard and sigh loudly. “What happened to him?” Jungkook asked running his fingers through his hair with eyes wandering toward the elder. Seconds passed before he answered, shrugging his shoulders, scratching his forehead. “He was totally fine in the morning, when we reached the ring he complained about something hurting him. I hope everything is alright though.” Minhyuk sounded worried, resting his palms on his waist. 

The younger sighed, throwing himself on one of the steel chairs burying his face behind his palms. He would move, walk in circles, back and forth, run his fingers through his hair from worry. “What took the doctor so long!” Jungkook asked with furrowed eyebrows, rubbing his forehead with back hitting the back of the chair again. Just like the amount of worry that was filling his heart, Minhyuk was the same. Waiting to hear what was wrong with his friend. After two hours, the door in front of them opened slightly. A doctor came out writing on the papers that was hanging on a thin board, handing it to the nurse once he was done as he fixed his glasses. 

“Are you Mr Park’s relatives?” He stopped asking the two who looked at each other nodding. “His friends.” Minhyuk gulped, scared they won’t be able to see Jimin. A relief filled him as he exhaled the air that was stuck in his lungs. “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s fine, he was suffering from food poisoning, I’m thankful it’s not that serious.” The man in front of them smiled slightly at them, fixing his glasses again. “He’s awake, but I’ll let him rest the whole day here. If you want to see him, he’s in ward B room number 8.” With bows from the two, they looked at each other for a second before they move their feet to the ward Jimin was in. “Seriously what did he had yesterday?” Jungkook asked out of curiosity with rolling eyes, pushing the doors of the ward open. 

“I spent the night there, we had some pizza and beer.” Minhyuk scratched his head following the younger to room number 8 that had Jimin’s name. For some reason he felt guilty for bringing the younger the box of pizza, but he wondered why nothing happened to him though. The door in front of them opened slightly, trying not to make a noise the moment they stepped inside, sliding the door close. “Hyung!” Jungkook called out for him, rushing his feet toward the bed that was holding Jimin with its blanket. The former was laying in peace, hands resting on his belly that was covered with the thin fabric on him. Slight smile appeared on his face when he spotted the two approaching him. 

“How do you feel now?” Minhyuk asked pulling a chair to sit near the bed. “Better. You shouldn’t have brought that pizza yesterday!” Jimin sighed hitting the latter with his fist, slightly. Jungkook settled beside Jimin on bed, arms tangling with the muscled ones as if he was going to leave them so soon. “I’m sorry about that though.” Minhyuk ruffled his hair, but smiled when the younger chuckled on bed. 

“I’m sorry too, I threw up on you!” Jimin sighed, scratching his head with eyes closing for seconds. 

The curtains of the room were open, letting the sun in freely. It made their hearts warm, at the same time comfortable. The air was easy to breath, their chests were rising and falling normally. It was blue, spotted with white the blanket that was on bed identifies his body. “I missed another match . .” Jimin whispered all of a sudden, turning his head to the side, eyes reflecting the blue sky that had few clouds on his cornea. Just like the night sky without stars, he doesn’t like to miss the matches that were always waiting for him in the wrestling ring. For some reason he missed his black gloves for one day. “It’s ok hyung, your health is more important.” Jungkook breathed, rubbing the latter’s upper arm gently. No, the words never soothed the former as he wanted to watch the match at least. 

A hum left his as he closed his eyes. “Whatever. When am I going to leave? I’m fine now can’t I go back?” Jimin asked hiding his face underneath the blanket. Even if he didn’t attend the match, staying at home would be much better instead of the hospital tough bed. It would be more quiet by himself. “You’re staying the whole day, maybe tomorrow morning you can leave.” Minhyuk answered him, standing from the chair with palms bushing Jimin back on bed when he tossed the blanket on him aside to move from his place. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Jungkook gulped, wrapping his fingers around Jimin’s arm. For some reason, Jimin didn’t know what happened to him, all he wanted was to leave the room that was dyed with white. 

“Let me go. I said I’m fine, I’m leaving!” The latter was insisted, pushing the hands on him as he stood on his feet, pulling his jacket from the edge of the bed as he slid his arms in, rushing his feet outside the room with foot steps trailing him. “Hyung!” The youngest among the three called, letting his voice echo in the hallway yet Jimin never stopped his feet from speeding to escape from the two that wanted to pin him on the hospital bed with chains all around him. Stomach still welcoming the medicine he was given in the hospital; he would gulp hard to avoid anything that wanted to leave his empty stomach at that time. Yes, his name was still echoing in his ear behind him, but loneliness wanted to tangle with him for seconds. Streets were crossed, down the roads where he walked, followed by the former two who were running with sweat dropping down their bodies. 

All the way to the building that was locking his apartment in the middle where he headed, avoiding to press on the elevator’s button to lift him all the way to the 15th floor. His legs rushed toward the stairs as he climbing, skipping two from time to time. Why was he running away? Jimin asked himself with eyes on the stairs underneath him. It was only few hours but he refused the idea of staying in the hospital. The room strangle him tightly to the point that he can’t breathe. Jimin completely knew if he was caught, river of scolds would be flooding over him from his friends. The whole thing made him chuckle under his breath. His small palms rested on his knees the moment he reached his floor, breathing heavily from running all the way from the hospital to the floor without a stop. 

At the same time his phone rang in his pocket, pulling it out to answer Jungkook’s call. Nothing was heard probably when he pulled it away from his ear the moment the latter started to yell. The call was ended even before he was done with his cries, Jimin wasn’t in the mood for him at all. It was ringing in his ears again, it wasn’t as loud as the last time but it was clearly settling in his ears, argument was on the floor behind the door of the stairs that opens to the hallway. Jimin blinked suavely, hand sliding his phone back in his pocked, saliva swallowed down his throat. His back touched the door gently, resting against it before he pushes it open slowly, wandering his eyes to the marbled hallway, all the way to the apartment next to his to see the familiar face, carrying a straight expression. 

“Why the fuck are you doing this! I still want you!” Jimin heard it clearly, every word that skipped Jooheon who was yelling at the shorter in front of him. Yes, he remembered him, his last opponent he faced was standing there beside his apartment yelling at the poor figure in front of him. “Stop it Jooheon, I said I’m done. I won’t take my words back. I don’t love you anymore!” Yoongi ran his fingers through his hair, pushing the man in front of him backward with his pale hands when he tried to approach him with both hands on the door behind him. “I don’t want to get hurt more!” The elder’s voice was yelling back at the latter who approached again, locking the shorter between the door and his body to stop his movement, completely. 

“I won’t hurt you anymore, I can promise you this! But please don’t toss what’s between us aside!” Jooheon leaned, pressing his forehead on the latter who turned his head to the side, feeling his heart crumble in his chest. “I tossed everything for quite time now, I can’t believe you. You said the exact same words before but you never kept them! You shredded me!!” Yoongi’s voice was louden with every words, hitting the younger in front of him with his fists the more he was pressing himself against his thin body. Rage, madness, pissing off, Jooheon was filled with all of this, as if everything ran in the fluid that flows in his veins. “Min Yoongi!!” The name echoed in the whole hallway, hitting every corner, every door and Jimin’s ears. Fists tugging into the elder’s shirt, lifting him from the ground with his back rubbing against the door behind him, feeling the heart spread through his skin as if someone scrubbed him with rough rock with sharp fly outs. 

“L-Look at yourself!” Yoongi gulped hard, gathering his strength to speak and spat on the younger’s face. “You just said . . y-you can promise me . . you w-won’t hurt me!” He was suffocating, moving his pale hands to the former’s as he tried to free himself. Heart ripping his chest from pounding roughly. “I don’t trust you!” The elder kicked with his feet, lips trembling, hands hitting the former’s. The whole seen in front Jimin’s eyes made him clench his fists beside his body. A strong gale hit the two in the hallway strongly, Yoongi whimpered shutting his eyes tight, sharp pain on his right shoulder made him groan loudly when he was thrown on the ground on his side. Nothing left him but a loud curse with head thrown to the back, his pale hand moved to his shoulder as he groaned again, breathing heavily. 

“Force won’t work, buddy.” A sound joined them, Jimin couldn’t stop himself from pushing the door open, approaching the two. Watching with silence fucked him up, if he didn’t stop Jooheon, the latter may end up killing the poor guy on the ground in front of his brown eyes. Glares were shared between the two for quite time, nothing filled the air between them but the low groans from Yoongi. “Fuck off. .!” Jooheon spat, knowing exactly the person in front of him was Jimin, the guy who turned him upside down from knocking him out in front of the crowd. Relief filled the elder among them when someone finally came to stop what was his boyfriend, with a hard gulp he opened his eyes to meet Jimin’s, far but above his head. 

The target wasn’t Yoongi, it changed to Jimin who was staring with cold eyes. Jooheon approached, clenching his teeth as if they were going to break any second, lifting his fist in the air to throw a punch on Jimin face who stepped back. “Wow man chill! I don’t fight outside the ring.” The former spoke without skipping a beat, hands in front of his face to avoid what was going to collide with his body. Chuckle filled the hallway, a laugh made the younger curse in his inner. “Oh really! Then mind your fucking business and leave!” Jooheon yelled, almost stumbling on Yoongi from the anger in his chest. Not a single word moved the younger’s heart at all, his body never moved an inch from his place except his eyes who dropped down to the figure on the ground gripping tightly onto his shoulder. 

“You want me to leave to beat the shit out of him and leave him in the freezing air?” Jimin’s voice was cold, deep and serious, confusing the latter who cursed with eyebrow rising. “It has nothing to do with you!” Jooheon pushed the younger to the back with his index finger, hands wrapped around his legs from closing the distance between him and the man standing in front of him. “Please just leave!” Yoongi’s voice startled the two, getting their full attention, gripping tightly on Jooheon even though he was in a pain under him. Jimin couldn’t believe his ears, how is he going to leave and leave the broken man on the ground and between his boyfriend’s hands. If Yoongi wasn’t kicked he was going to fulfill his wish and leave the two argue alone. 

Groans, more groans. It just made Jimin clench his teeth and cuss under his breath. “I think I should return to you what you done to me on the ring, don’t you think?” Jooheon spat at the younger, ignoring Yoongi’s presence completely. “Well then we can return that when we’re in the next match, yeah?” The latter rolled his eyes, passing by him to approach the man on the ground. His knees touched the ground with stretched hands to lift him, at the same time they were pushed aside. Jimin looked at him closely, sleepy dark eyes, small nose, pink lips that was surrounded with bruises. “Why?” A loud laugh echoed in their ears, Yoongi watched the younger’s face in front of him turns to straight. With a slight move, Jimin turned, standing on his feet again. “Are you afraid of losing right now? Or maybe you don’t want your little ass to be beaten with my fists and break you bones at this instant.” Jooheon’s laugh faded, face straight again like a psycho. 

“Oh yeah?” Jimin smiled slightly, moving his fist to his mouth to block the laughter that wanted to escape him. His brown eyes lifted to the latter as he approached, approached till his chest bumped into the latter making him move backward along with his forward feet. In a second, Jimin’s fist collided with his face. Few steps more when Jooheon felt his cheekbone shutter underneath his skin from the other punch he received. Without a second pause, Jimin let his fists take their turn to break every bone in Jooheon’s face. Hand grapping the back of his hair as he turned him, pinning him on the wall at the end of the hallway with a kick on the back of his knees. “Do you know why I don’t fight outside the ring?” Jimin leaned closer, whispering in the former’s ears who was shutting his eyes tight. 

“Because you’ll end up dead between my hands.” His voice was serious enough to send shivers down Jooheon’s spine. The sound echoing in the whole floor, the bones that collided with the wall. The latter groaned loudly, bending on the floor with hand covering his cheek that hit the wall in front of him. Jimin won’t waist any second more, after he ran from the hospital he wanted to rest without any trouble. His feet turned away from the latter, approaching Yoongi with furrowed eyebrows. The elder among the three whimpered when he was lifted from the ground, arms on Jimin’s shoulder that dragged him all the way to the younger’s apartment instead of his. “Min fucking Yoongi!!” Jooheon yelled from his place all of a sudden, trying to approach which made Jimin feel the former cling on his shoulder with fear. 

“You better come back at this instant! I won’t leave this fucking place without getting you back!” Jooheon tried to approach, but failed when Jimin ignored him pressing the numbers on his doorknob to unlock his door. The moment it was closed, he freed the elder in the entrance. Low sniffs behind his back made him turn slightly to capture the elder hiding his eyes behind his forearm, from his trembling lips he knew he was crying silently by the door. “I won’t ask if you are alright, if he hurt you again you should call someone at least.” Jimin sighed, scratching his head. The ceiling fell on his head, what is he going to do with the elder after he brought him back in, knowing Jooheon won’t leave him alone. 

“Leave me alone . .” Yoongi gulped, sliding down against the door all the way to the ground, arm falling down from his eyes to grab his shoulder. The same broken expression Jimin watched in the balcony made him sigh lowly. With a turn, he made his way toward his kitchen, to the last drawer to pull out the first aid-kit. It was pressed against his chest before he bit his lower puffy lip and move back to the entrance of his apartment that looks exactly like Yoongi’s with different interior. The stranger was in his place, head down, shuttering piece by piece. The younger gulped, bending down beside him, placing the box in his hands on the floor. His hands were pushed away for the seconds time when he tried to touch the elder. 

“I’m just trying to help . .” Jimin spoke in a low tone, sniffing slightly. 

“I don’t need your help!” Yoongi almost yelled, pushing the younger by his side away from him. No, he doesn’t want to be touched by anyone anymore, he wanted to lock himself away from them and live his own life alone. Jimin let him go, moving from his spot to his room with silence, leaving the latter alone in the entrance. The tears never tried to stop from flooding down the elder’s cheeks, he would sob lowly with hand fisting on his shirt tightly. Pain was spreading underneath his skin; his shoulder was killing him. When his legs moved, it hit the white box that was left on the ground like a forsaken material. It took Yoongi minutes to pull it slowly with his pale hand as he opened it. The first thing caught his eyes was the messy closed bandaids in the middle of the box covering whatever was inside. 

They were the ones Jimin brought for him the other day in the balcony. His pale fingers tugged on the fabric that covered his shoulder as he slid it down carefully, not being able to watch his swollen skin perfectly. With a sniff he sighed, cussed under his breath as he hardly tried to spread ointment on it. He winced, cursed, and groaned whenever he tried to touch his shoulder with his cold fingertips. It took him awhile, half an hour to cover the whole bruise with the ointment. Yoongi almost gave up, he tossed the medicine in his hand aside with a sigh. It didn’t touch the ground at all, it fell on the toes that showed all of a sudden in the entrance again. Jimin stared down at it with his cold eyes, bending his back to grab it from the ground as he bends down near the elder again. 

“You need some help after all.” The younger sighed, stretching his hand for the last time to touch the elder who let him. His small fingers squeezed the ointment on a piece of cotton, stretching it to the swollen shoulder that turned to purple and red. Winced, Yoongi winced again with head turning to the other side to endure the pain that almost killed him. He would catch his breath when Jimin pulls his hand back, watching it move to the box and grabbed a bandage. “I can’t do this if you didn’t take your shirt off.” The younger spoke softly, unwrapped the cotton material in his hand. Yoongi rolled his teary eyes, moving his hand to pull the hem of his sleeve and slide his hand free, lifting one side of his shirt to his neck. 

It was showing like crystal clear, the bruises on his torso. Some of them were about to vanish but some of them were fresh. It seemed to Jimin that the man in front of him was beaten everyday. The bandage was wrapped carefully around Yoongi’s right shoulder, the younger would hear him curse from time to time and sigh in his place. “So your name is . . Yoongi? I’m Jimin.” The younger tried to change the atmosphere around them even tough it was a bit awkward. Silence. Nothing left Yoongi at all as if he wasn’t interested. His arm looked its way to his sleeve again when Jimin freed him, moving to the open box on the ground, placing everything back to its place as he closed it. 

“It’s up to you if you want to stay or go back to your apartment.” Jimin breathed, getting up on his feet with the white box in his hand, walking back to the kitchen. Yoongi doesn’t want to stay nor go back to his apartment, knowing completely about Jooheon being there, but even if he left the whole building he can’t wander in the street with his bruised body. His butt stayed still in Jimin’s entrance for seconds before he stood, stumbling all the way slowly to the living room, ignoring the younger who came out from the kitchen and stared at him with his brown eyes. As long as Yoongi found shelter, he wanted to stay. “Don’t pretend to be nice.” The elder spat all of a sudden when Jimin helped him to the couch. 

“What do you mean pretend?” 

“You’re all the same.” Yoongi’s words were confusing the younger who stared down at him with raised eyebrow. “Every fucking boxer trying to act nice when they are hurting each other in that fucking game!” He continued sighing, trying to forget about the pain. “Well I don’t know what logic is that but I want you to know that I don’t pretend, that’s just me. I’m not a beast like the rest.” Jimin rolled his eyes, moving his feet to his room as he closed the door behind him, leaving the elder in his place. Not a single word settled in Yoongi’s head. To him? Jimin was a liar just like the mirrors, Jooheon used to say the exact same but awakened his beast as it wrapped itself around Yoongi.


	4. A little bit more

The cold weather outside his apartment was freezing cold, the heater was turned on in the whole apartment to warm every single corner. Jimin shifted under his dark sheets on bed, turning on his side with a breath escaping him. Morning came fast, knocking on his windows, rays stretching everywhere on earth to shine everything on its way. Puffy lips parted from yawning the moment he sat on his bed, hair sticking in every direction. Jimin sometimes would wake up in the morn, before the sun goes up to dictate the moon, but sleep took over him from spending the whole night rolling, thinking about the man in the living room resting on his couch. He got up several times to peek from his room and go back in to hide under his blanket. 

Since he doesn’t have any matches, his feet dragged him to the living room, quietly with hands brushing his hair down. Yoongi was still there, sleeping on the couch with his head turned to the side, hair stretched on the cushion underneath his head with white blanket covering his body all the way to his chest. The sight of him made Jimin freeze in his place with blank expression, hearing him sob all night broke his heart a little bit as he felt bad for him. The whole thing just made Jimin wonder what happened to him. What made him a broken piece? Why was he actually with Jooheon and not someone else who deserves him? Lot of question danced with Jimin’s thoughts in his head. It was a bit heavy. 

Water splashed on his face, dripping down to the sink in front of him. The younger looked back at himself in the mirror in front of him that was pinned above the sink in his bathroom. Wondering how his day will turn out to be. After brushing his teeth, his upper body was hiding under a high neck off white top. A warm hot chocolate would match the cold weather outside, his small hands made two cups for the elder as well. When he headed back toward the living room, he didn’t expect to see Yoongi already awake, wrapping himself with the white blanket, standing in the balcony with eyes wandering down on the street. He looked like a chick who was lost in a huge fabric. The way he looked made Jimin chuckle under his breath and stand right by his side outside. 

“Hot chocolate?” He pushed a slight smile, handing the elder who stretched his hand hesitantly to wrap his pale fingers around the handle. “. . thanks.” Yoongi gulped, speaking in a low tone almost whispering but the man by his side heard him well. The smile on his face widened with eyes wandering toward the elder for a second before he faces the front. “How’s your shoulder?” Yoongi bit his lower lip, lifting the cup to his mouth as he took a sip. It was warm down his throat, relaxing his heart that skipped a beat for a second. 

“Why do you care?” He answered with a question, head turned to the other side to avoid the look the younger by his side showed. The breeze was cold enough to send shivers underneath their skin. Jimin leaned against the glass behind him, lenses capturing the former from the corner of his eyes with silence. The bruises on the elder’s face was fading slowly, the pale skin was showing again. What Jimin noticed was that he has a small baby face, thin arms and body. “Well maybe because I’m not a ‘Beast’.” The steam of the hot chocolate was flying in the air in front of him. For some reason, the younger was holding in his chuckle from being called a beast the previous day. “Yeah whatever. .” Yoongi rolled his eyes, sighing lowly when he was left alone in the balcony. 

The moment he was left alone; his mind would think about nothing but Jooheon. His name in his mind sent shivers down his spine from fear. What happened to him? He wasn’t scared from him at all. Living under the same roof with a monster wasn’t something to get used to easily. If Yoongi knew Jooheon’s true self from the very beginning he wouldn’t have loved him not even a bit, because the former doesn’t deserves any good. “Come here. .” Soft voice behind him snapped him from his thoughts as he turned slightly toward Jimin who was smiling slightly by the glassy door. Yoongi settle on the couch like little kids, blanket sliding down his upper body along with his shirt that covered his wrapped shoulder.

“Tell me if you feel any pain.” Jimin’s voice was soothing, filled with care and concern. The pale swollen shoulder was still dyed with the colors purple and red. Bag of ice was placed gently on Yoongi’s shoulder which made him tense and wince at the same time. “Fuck!!” A loud curse filled the living room, the elder gulped hard with eyes shut tight from the pain he felt. “I’m sorry . .” Jimin pulled the ice back, apologizing one more time before he placed again on the swollen shoulder in front of him. “Enough enough! I can’t endure it any longer.” The latter inhaled deeply before he exhales and gulp, swallowed every drop of saliva in his mouth. Bandage was wrapped around his shoulder again after the ointment that covered his purple bruise. 

“Thank you . . for everything. I owe you.” The words were spoken softly from between Yoongi’s pink lips. It came out from his heart, being saved from Jooheon was something he wished for and it was granted. Jimin curved his lips, waving his hand in the air. “This is nothing.” His smiled never left his face. Just like the bright smile, Yoongi wanted to smile too. For some reason, he envied the younger for smiling brightly, even if he was locked between chains he’d smile. Thin legs stood, dropping the blanket that was wrapped around his slim body on the couch as he bowed slightly. “I’ll leave.” The elder bit his lower lip, lifting his gaze to the younger in front of him as their eyes met for the second time. 

It didn’t take them long to broke the eye contact, Yoongi turned toward the entrance, palm resting on the doorknob. “Well . . Min Yoongi.” Jimin stopped him, arms crossed against his chest with the familiar smile on his face. “If you need anything just tell me. . You can knock on my door too I won’t mind it.” 

“Thanks again.” 

Jimin’s apartment fell quiet again. Like a dried ocean. Everything we back to normal as the elder wasn’t there at all except one thing, Yoongi was still there in Jimin’s head, wondering if he will be alright, wishing for him to fix whatever happened with Jooheon to stop harming himself. With a loud sigh, his feet turned him back to his warm apartment, pulling out the dark blue gloves, sliding his hands in right away with clenching fist, ready to punch the bag in front of him. On the other side, the elder stood for half a minute leaning his back against Jimin’s door with his head down. Wishing, praying, desiring to be treated like the former treated him. Wished if Jooheon would be tender and gentle with him. 

Three steps to his apartment was the heaviest, the most painful foot steps he have ever taken in his entire life. His throat ran dry, stomach crunching under his skin with heavy breaths escaping him. His nostrils sensed everything, he would smell the hurtful air in his own apartment. Jooheon should leave his apartment no matter what. Yoongi’s feet stumbled, three steps felt like walking to the moon by feet and come back. Quivering fingertips touched the doorknob, before he pressed the numbers to unlock the door he changed it. It was changed to numbers Jooheon would never try to guess in his entire life. The pale boy nervously, carefully stepped inside his apartment. Not a single breath skipped him as if he was a dead soul walking in the house. 

It was dark even in the daylight, whenever the familiar walls surround Yoongi he would fall into the exact same darkness. They would squeeze him till they break his weak bones. Adam’s apple moved up and down his throat several time, eyes wandering around the place carefully, looking for the familiar figure. The curtains were closed which made him approach and slide them open. The sun stretched in right away. Not even the air conditioner was on, it was warm but suffocating at the same time. The living room was dead except his thin body, as well as the bedroom and the bathroom. If Yoongi wanted a new life, he would change the whole apartment and move to a new one, or change the whole interior instead and dye the walls again. 

The pain in his shoulder was still pounding, as if his heart beats were there, hurting him. Even the couch in Jimin’s apartment was more relaxing and comfortable than his own bed he shares with Jooheon. Yoongi tried to avoid laying on his side when he let his body collapse on his bed, back resting on the sheets as he pulled the blanket on him. Resting for awhile won’t harm him at all. His eyelids showed him the same scene, his own body standing far in the middle of the black see, back facing him as he rushed again, ran faster to pull himself from the darkness but he failed. When his figure turned, it was the same blank face that was covered with black shadows. Beads of sweat rolled down his temples and the side of his face, his body was dripping sweat as he opened his eyes to meet the ceiling above him. 

It was dark, his room drowned in the dark sea too. Hours passed as he didn’t notice from the tiredness. When he pulled his phone out, it was 11PM. It wasn’t that late for him to take a shower and forget the vision he watched again. His heavy chest was pulling him down to the core of earth, deeper and deeper. Yoongi wondered until when he was going to suffer from the younger who never tried to leave him alone. The sound of the water running filled the bathroom, it was hot enough for the steam to spread in the whole space. Face had a dull expression when he let himself through the running clear liquid in his clothes, let’s say he wasn’t in his right mind still. Hand on the wall in front of him, head down with eyes staring at his bare feet on the bathtub. 

His wrapped shoulder was killing him under the streaming water, everything soaked. Eyes closing involuntary to feel the warmth of the water that ran down his body. After minutes, he swore he heard the door of the bathroom open and closed as it locked too. It was a nightmare, it was a fucking nightmare when he turned his head, eyes meeting no one’s but Jooheon’s. Was he hiding in somewhere inside where Yoongi couldn’t see him? Or broke the door to get inside? The elder didn’t have much time to think when his heart stopped beating in his chest, lips turning white with his eyes never blinked for a second. “H-How . . did y-you?” Yoongi’s voice stuttered, taking one step back before his back collides with the wall behind him. 

“Where were you?” Jooheon asked in a cold voice, approaching with clenched fists. 

“Don’t come any closer!!” The elder yelled, trying to move in a way to avoid the younger and run from the bathroom. The blood in his veins stopped running, his whole body was quivering even though he was under a warm water. “Where did you spend the night, hm?” The latter asked as if he was in a different world. Like a flash of light, he approached pinning Yoongi against the wall with lips pressed against the pale neck. “With Park Jimin? That fucking kid? Did he fuck you already?” Jooheon never stopped his moving lips on the elder’s skin, it was parted with teeth shoved the pale skin down his mouth, sucking hungrily. Disgusts filled Yoongi, he was whimpering in a low tone pushing the latter away from him but he failed, he was weaker and smaller. 

“I won’t forgive you if you let anyone touch you other than me, you’re mine.” 

“S-Shut up . . I-I’m not fucking yours!!” The elder among the two yelled, pushing the younger back who grabbed him again, crashing their lips with lack of gentleness as he sucked his heart out on them. Yoongi whimpered again, feeling tears forming in his eyes as they rolled down his cheeks. “Stop it!!” He yelled, managed to free himself with rushing feet toward the locked door, his hands worked randomly on the key, unlocking it with trembling hands. “Yoongi! You better come back at this instant!” Jooheon cried behind him, approached the shorter one more time with arms sneaked around his torso, stopping him from moving even though Yoongi struggled, hit and kicked with his feet the moment he was lifted from the ground with loud cries escaping his small figure. 

“Let me go!!” Gaze turned to blur from the falling tears that soaked his already wet face. “No I beg you don’t do this! Please don’t do it!!” Yoongi cried harder, punching the younger with his fist when he was throws on his bed, wetting the sheets underneath him. Jooheon hovered over him, sliding his cold hands under the latter’s shirt with bites all over his pale neck. “I waited for you . . I waited until I heard the door open. You came in looking for me, I witnessed it all. I watched you walking around, laying on your bed until you slept and when you woke up you hid behind the bathroom door.” The younger’s voice was low against his skin, leaving purple marks on him. Even though he was hit, his chest was scratched by Yoongi’s nails but he was weaker than Jimin. 

Jooheon was forcing him, fisting on the back of the elder’s hair, bending his head to the back to attack his throat and collar bone. “I don’t want this! Stop it!!!” Nothing filled the room but Yoongi’s loud cries, his chest was raging shredding him into pieces. Where was Jooheon hiding? It was the only question that filled his head, if he kicked him out he won’t be able to enter his apartment again after he changed the passcode. Every single thought vanished from his head when he felt hand sliding in his pants, touching him. “Why do you want me to stop, huh? Yoongi you used to love it when It touch you.” The younger chuckled, biting the former’s lower lip gaining a loud whimper from him. 

“You’re fucking DEAD! STOP IT!” The former yelled his heart out, punching Jooheon right on the face before he pushes him to the edge of the bed before he stumbles outside his room. Heavy breaths filled the living room that had no light at all, Yoongi’s gaze was even darker from his weeps. Yoongi was in a total agony, heart bleeding deeply in his chest. His body was dripping water, drop by drop trailed him all the way to the kitchen followed by Jooheon’s drops. “Yoongi!” The younger called, trying to reach the latter who escaped from him, opening the drawers in the kitchen as he grabbed the handle of the knife, lifting it toward Jooheon’s direction with quivering body. 

“Drop that down at this instant!!” 

“Get away from me first!” The elder gulped, tears never stopped from rolling down his cheeks. The knife was trembling along with his hands. “LEAVE ME ALONE.” Yoongi yelled, voice hitting every wall in his small apartment. Heavy breaths were echoing in Jooehon’s ears, he was standing still in his place, a bit far from the elder soaking along with him, eyes staring deeply at the small figure in front of him. “What if I changed? What do you want me to do to get you back Yoongi?” The younger spoke in a low tone, just to calm the beast underneath Yoongi’s skin and suppress it. It was loud enough for the door to break; loud bangs were filling their ears. The elder among the two whimpered, tightening his fingers around the handle of the knife. His name was calling behind the closed door, several times in row. 

Yoongi knew no one was there but the cheerful guy who moved right next to his door. Jimin on the other side heard the same yells again, their voices were shaking the whole building. It was quiet for hours, what made the younger jerk from his place was Yoongi’s loud cries. If Jooheon was there, he for sure will kill him this time. His fists never did anything when he knocked the door with loud thuds to wake everyone who was asleep in the apartments in the same level they lived in. The beating heart in his chest was confusing him, why did it beat faster when he heard the way Yoongi was crying out loud, at the same time it was beating from fear. “Yoongi!!” His voice filled the hallway, when no response responded to his voice, his feet dragged him all the way back to his apartment. 

Mind thinking crazy for minutes, there was no choice but to go in by any chance. Jimin ran his finger through his hair, angrily. The steady yells made him clench on his hair, the glass door of the balcony cracked open in front of him. It was the only choice for him, to save the stranger for the second time, not because he has anything toward him but because he doesn’t like people to get hurt without any reason. To him, Yoongi was innocent, pure man being buried between dirty hands. The cold breeze outside made him shiver, the space between his balcony and Yoongi’s wasn’t that wide though, it was on meter far from each other. Jimin shut his eyes tight, after seconds he opened them to meet the surface of Yoongi’s balcony. It was a quick jump with wishes the glass door was open and easy for him to breakthrough the apartment. 

It was sliding slowly, with trembling hands. Jimin took deep breathes before he stepped inside the dark apartment. There was not a single light except the one that came out from the kitchen. All he felt was the soaked floor from the latter two’s bodies. “You’ll never get me back! I loved you once and I won’t love you twice!” Jimin heard the familiar voice yelling again, it was near and clear settling in his head perfectly. All he watched was Jooheon’s wet back, covering the small figure in front of him. If he didn’t approach one more step he wouldn’t see the silver knife that was in the air in front of the younger. “. .Yoongi.” The soft voice grabbed Jooheon’s attention but not Yoongi’s, Jimin stood still in his place fore seconds before he moves one step closer. 

“You too. Stay away from me!” The elder almost yelled at the latter. Hate was spreading in his chest, animosity and fears. Jooheon was stubborn but Jimin wasn’t, he approached slowly taking step by step closer till he passed by the older by his side with hand on his shoulder. “What the fucker is doing here? To steal my little boy from me? Of break my bones this time?” Jooheon talked, right in the latter ears whose eyes were on Yoongi, staring back at him with blocked ears. Whatever Jooheon said never effected him. If the man by his side was evil, he doesn’t want Yoongi to be like him. “Yoongi drop that knife.” Jimin finally spoke to him, feeling his throat block from shoving down the air to his lungs. 

“Fuck off! You’re just like him!! Trying to act nice and end up being the psycho beast!” The elder among the three never blinked. Eyes, lips, neck, they were all swollen in Jimin’s eyes, the dripping messed up clothes clenched his heart. What have Jooheon did to him? He wondered. “I’m not a beast. If you want to kill him, you won’t gain anything.” The youngest spoke, approaching slowly with every word left him. Yoongi whimpered when he felt the man who was in front of him behind him, grabbing his hands from behind out of the blue. “Look . .” A whisper in his ears made him stare back at Jooheon with quivering body remaining steady. “He’s my enemy, too. If you want to kill him then I want to do the same with him.” Jimin’s eyes wandered to their hands, up to the man in front of them who was still freezing in his place. 

Yoongi hated it, he hated how he was controlled all of a sudden, as if he was connected with a game consoler. The warmth of the torso that was pressed against his back made him sob lowly. “Taking revenge slowly is better, what is going to change if you killed him now? Let’s work on this together. We’re both have the same goal right? Drop that knife now and work with my brain to kill him in our own way, yeah?” The soft voice in his ears made his face soften a bit. The stranger that was holding the knife with him from behind slid his hand down to his pale wrist as he pressed on them slightly, making the sharp material that made of steel falls down on the floor of the kitchen with a sound that echoed in their ears.


	5. Far into the night

The wind blew right through the opened glass door of the balcony, all the way inside the small apartment. Cold breeze, expansions in the room all the way to the kitchen where they were. Jimin felt it all, the quivering hand he was holding, the quivering body that was pressed against his torso, broken sobs. Just like the waves in the huge ocean, he was raging in his place. Even though his face showed calmness but in his inner he already killed Jooheon. His brown lenses were reflecting him with boiling blood in his veins. “I’m going to count to three,” The soft voice ran in Yoongi’s ears again, hearing it clearly and too close. “If you didn’t leave, I’m going to make my move.” Jimin ended his words with furrowed eyebrows. 

“As if I’m scared from a cockroach like you.” Jooheon rolled his eyes, taking one step forward with eyes on Yoongi who couldn’t move from the body behind him. “One.” Jimin spat, dropping their hands slowly to the elder’s side. His heart wasn’t fearing the man in front of them at all. “Yoongi!” Jooheon called, watching how the elder tensed in his place. “Do you want to leave me now and take his side instead? You don’t know him; he’s going to hurt you. Crumble you even more.” He continued approaching step by step. “Two.” Jimin counted, feeling the man against his body pressing himself as he wanted to move backward. Everything was messed up in Yoongi’s head who closed his eyes for seconds with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Yoongi-“ 

“Three.” Jimin cut him, pushing the elder aside, gently, before he approached the older in front of him with fist colliding with Jooheon’s cheekbone. From the back of his neck he grabbed him, tightening his fingers all the way to the main door. It was easy like water drops to Jimin compared to Yoongi who was standing in his place shocked, surprised and amazed of how the youngest among the three managed to kick Jooheon easily from his apartment. A loud sigh filled the entrance that skipped Jimin, even though he was cursed behind the door, heard lines he never wanted to hear but nothing made him hurt Jooheon anymore. All he wanted was to calm his neighbor down. Right from his place, he heard sobs coming out from the kitchen, it was sobs from sadness and agony, weeps from frustration and bleeding heart. 

Jimin’s small hand rested on the wall by his side for seconds, back pressed against the wall the other seconds. Staying quiet and hears the crying that was leaving the elder made him bend his head down. His soft heart couldn’t take it anymore, the way the cries echoed in his ears made him curse in his inner and clench his teeth. It was hurting him, the way the weeps remained steady bled his heart even though he still doesn’t know Yoongi yet, but watching someone so down in front of him break his heart into small pieces. Jimin wanted everyone to taste happiness in their life, wanted to see people smile everyday, wanted this whole world to be peaceful. But who would listen to his deep thoughts in his inner world and heart, who would take whatever he wanted to yell to the world to the heart? 

His sails were falling down along with his thoughts. The cries was loudening in the kitchen, the air in the whole apartment sent him how Yoongi was bleeding deeply as if someone never stopped wrenching him. Jimin’s back rubbed against the wall, hands moving upward to his ears to block the loud weeps that settled on his head. “Stop it . . stop it . . stop it . . stop.” He was repeating under his breath, lips quivering along with his hands. Warmth surrounded his eyes, holding the tears that wanted to flood out of his eyes along with the elder on the other side of the apartment. It won’t happen, Jimin got on his feet again sniffed lightly with hands tossing whatever dropped from his eyes aside as he pulled himself together. Trying to push a smile on his face with his trembling lips. 

Yoongi was on the cold floor, fist clenching on his soaking shirt when Jimin walked back to him. “H-How can you . . d-do this?” The elder gulped, sniffing before he asked, lifting his head to look at the younger’s face. The latter bend down in front of him, knees touching the ground with hands on Yoongi’s thin shoulders as he helped him to stand. “What . .?” The younger pushed a smile on his face, shoving his hands in his skinny jeans pockets. “How do you get rid of him easily when I can’t?” The former spoke again, wiping his tears with his palms before he rushes toward his room as if he was late for something. Jimin trailed him, leaning against the door’s boarder with crossed arms against his chest. “You fear him, am I right?” He asked, making the elder turns toward him with raised eyebrow. 

“. . I do.” 

“That’s the answer for your question.” Jimin replied, watching him move around the room hastily. Yoongi gulped hard, grabbing a box before he opens his closet, sets of clothes were thrown in, tops, bottoms and even socks. He was doing nothing but tossing everything that belongs to Jooheon away from his sight. The drawers of the small nightstands beside his bed were cracked open. Books, pens, notebooks, they were all thrown in the box. Moisturizers, bandages Jooheon uses to wrap his hands with them when he trains sometimes, perfumes and boxing gloves. Yoongi threw everything away from his sight, all in the box that was on the floor in his room waiting to swallow more. After all this, Jimin didn’t pay much attention to his movements but to his wet self from head to toe. 

“You’re going to catch a cold if you didn’t dry yourself.” He spoke, sighing when the elder didn’t stop for a second, he would dash by him to the living room and come back with things in his hands to drop them down in the box again. “I don’t care. I need to finish this first.” Yoongi sighed, sniffed, and wiped his eyes from time to time. They were tired, puffy, surrounding with redness and salty tears. The box was heavy when he tried to lift it from the ground, causing his back to ache. Jimin sighed before he approached, bending down a bit before he lifted the box in his hands. “Where do you want to move it?” He asked, throwing a smile at the elder who scratched his head. “I’m going to throw this away. They are not mine, his belongings.” It was clear when Jimin didn’t hear Jooheon’s name, his feet followed the elder all the way to the main door as they dropped the box outside the door. 

Yoongi took a deep breath, his chest was a bit lighter than before. The whole apartment will be his again. What made him more comfortable was that he changed the passcode which made him sigh in relief. “I really . . don’t know how to thank you. Y-You’re helping me a lot.” The elder bit his lower lip, moving back to his room with pale fingers tugging on the hem of his shirt before he threw it aside. “You don’t have to. I do this out of me will-“ Jimin stopped, turning his feet away when his eyes captured Yoongi’s bare torso. He stood awkwardly outside the former’s room, in the living room with hand rubbing his nape. It was a second but he managed to scan him, Yoongi was thin, thorax bones were prominent underneath his pale skin. Maybe he would start making him food to eat a bit more and gain weight, the thought just made Jimin chuckle and stood straight when Yoongi came out from his room, towel on his hair to dry his damp hair. 

“It’s late, I’m sorry I disturbed you . .” The elder gulped, face straight from the whole thing that happened to him. The flowers were crying loud with him, he was just like them, people would pick him and hurt him until he dies. “About what you said . . do you really want to kill Jooheon?” Yoongi asked, pale hand drying his hair with the towel, his butt settled on the small couch with eyes wandering in front of him to the closed TV, not a second passed before he turns it on. “Not his soul, but kill him mentally and physically.” Jimin bend down, back resting against the couch. “There’s no need to turn into murderers because of kid minded like him.” He continued, eyes focused on the TV in front of him. 

“I would.” Yoongi’s voice was low, as if he hummed to himself. “You wouldn’t.” The younger heard him clearly with head turning to look at the former with straight face.

“What do you know?” 

“Nothing, all I know is that I don’t want you to do anything to spend the rest of your life in prison.” 

“You don’t know me.” Yoongi stared back at him, reading the younger’s eyes that was blinking suavely. 

“Maybe soon.” Jimin collided his lips together as he closed his mouth, his eyes dropped as he turned to the front again, ignoring the elder’s eyes that was still staring at him. “Why?” There was no response after hearing Yoongi’s voice again. The living room went dead again, that ‘why’ kept Jimin busy, asking himself. Why he said that? There was no answer to his question at all. Nothing was heard after but Jimin’s calm breaths, his eyes closed involuntary as he slept with arms crossed against his chest. The way he was dragged out of reality made the elder bite his lower lip before he passes out on the couch. Hours passed by slowly, the low sound of the TV was ringing in Yoongi’s ears the whole night. It would join him in his dreams too. When his soul was awake, he felt softness against his face, hand moving slowly to what seemed to him a little tough pillow. 

It wasn’t as big as the cushions on his small couch, it was different, felt silky against his fingers. His sleepy eyes opened slowly, gaze hazy when he watched the orange color in front of him. The color was bright, the sun that stretched inside his apartment shined it, it was touchable with nice smell that made him lean slowly to nuzzle. Yoongi thought he was still dreaming when his fingers sank deeper into the color, the soft what it seemed to him tough orange pillow touched his nose before he inhales deeply. It got all confused when everything between his pale fingers moved, getting his attention and back to reality. His eyes were rubbed gently by his pale fists before he sits slowly, tilting his head to the sides. It was the third day for him sleeping on the couch, chest still heavy from the previous night. 

The sun was way too bright for him to open his full eyes, all he noticed was the color orange was Jimin’s hair. The moment he realized, his feet touched the ground right away as he rushed toward his room from embarrassment, all he wished for was Jimin never felt anything because to him, he was still sleeping with his head on the couch but different position. The elder closed the bathroom door that was in his room behind him, splashing water on his face several times to pull himself together and start his new day. The way Jimin’s hair was tangling with his pale fingers made him curse in his inner, it felt soft and silky, if the younger didn’t move he would have snuggled his whole head with nose nuzzling on it, deep inhales until he sucks the whole scent in his nostrils. 

Yoongi pulled out shirt and jeans from his closet to change, bright fringe covering his sleepy eyes. Right on the bench of his vanity where he sat, head down instead of looking back at the mirror that was still hanging there, the last mirror from Jooheon was still pinned against the wall. The perfume was sprayed on his clothes and the sides of his neck, drawer opened slowly before he pulls the last makeup he bought after the ones the latter threw away. They were placed down on his vanity before he sighs and stares at them. The hardest times of his life was when he lifts his eyes slowly to meet his own reflection on the mirror. Gulps hard, heavy breath, eyes moving upward to look at his black shirt, neck that was covered with meaningless hickeys, pale chin along with his lips that surrounded with redness from the hard kisses he received, small nose and sleepy eyes. 

Yoongi bit his lower lip before he grabs the powder that matches his skin in his hands. Brush rubbed against the pale powder before he stains his pale skin, to cover the redness that burned his heart in his chest. At the same time, his heart skipped a beat when he remembered Jimin was still in his apartment, sleeping in the living room, he heard his low voice talking to someone on the phone because the loudness of his phone’s vibration on the coffee table was heard everywhere. “What is it Kook?” Yoongi heard every would, because the couch wasn’t far from the door of his bedroom. “No, not yet. Its tomorrow not today, I have a free day.” His eyes wondered toward the door that was opened slightly, hand moving to grab the familiar lipstick that looks exactly like his own pink lips, a bit dusty though. 

It touched his lower soft lips suavely, sliding but it was like every time, a bit messy. It was slid down to the skin underneath his lower lip and the edges. Yoongi cursed under his breath, pale hand ruffling his hair from disappointment. Soft knocks on the door startled him as he almost fell from the bench he was setting on, with a hard gulp his eyes lifted to meet Jimin’s who was looking down at him with surprised expression on his face. Seconds before the younger smiles and turns his head away to hide his chuckle. He wasn’t making fun of Yoongi using makeup but it was funny how the elder didn’t know even how to use it properly. “Do you like makeup, Yoongi?” Jimin asked, scratching his head, eyes looking back at Yoongi whose head bend down, hands gripping tightly into the lipstick. 

“ . . It’s just . . I would look ugly without it.” The elder bend his head a bit more down before he watches bare feet beside his bench. Jimin bend down as his knees touched the floor, hands on the both sides of the free space of the bench, looking up at the elder who turned his head to the side. “Do you want me to fix it for you?” The question made Yoongi gulp before he hands Jimin the lipstick in his hands. He watched him took a deep breath, small hands moving to the familiar powder he used before he grabs the brush. “There are some empty places, here and there.” Jimin smiled slightly, lifting his hand as he collided the brush with Yoongi pale face, filling the empty places, along with the redness around his pink lips. 

“Did he do this to you?” Out of curiosity the younger asked, eyes dropping down to the pale neck that was still carrying the hickeys. A hum filled his ears before he grabs the lipstick, it was a nice color, Yoongi had a good taste though. “You don’t look ugly without it though.” A smile showed on Jimin’s face, spreading the calm color on the former’s lower lip carefully and gently. It all surprised the elder, Jooheon never tried to fix his makeup, all he did was throw everything away and force him to wash it away from his pale face. Jooheon would spit that he doesn’t look good in it, but Jimin never minded it, its not like they are close enough to stop Yoongi from using it. “How do you know how to put on someone’s else face?” The elder asked all of a sudden causing the lipstick to brush against his face, making the younger move his thumb and wipes it away. 

“I had a girlfriend.” Jimin pushed a smile again “Done.” He got on his feet again, placing the lipstick down on the vanity before he looks down at Yoongi’s full image. They were kissable, the lips that was parted in front of him. What caught his eyes was the phone near Yoongi, his hand stretched involuntary as he typed his number before he saves it. “Call me, sometimes.” Jimin spoke in a low tone, calling his own number to feel his phone vibrates in his pocket to save Yoongi number too. “If he came back again, call me too.” The familiar smile appeared on his face causing the elder to rub his nape. “I never asked about ur age right?” One last question filled the air before Yoongi nods his head. 

“I’m 23.” The elder bit his lower lips slightly, avoiding Jimin’s gaze. “For real man! I thought you were 18 or something. I’m 21 though.” The younger chuckled under his breath. “Well I’m going back to my apartment; I have some training to do.” When he finished his line, Yoongi placed his beanie on his head before he heads toward the main door with the younger. Going out for some fresh air would open his heart a little bit. The hallway was empty which made Yoongi sigh in relief, the box was still in its place, it seemed to him that Jooheon never dropped his feet near his apartment yet. “Hey . .” Jimin stopped him from leaving from his sight completely. “Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?” His question made the elder stood still in his place with blank expression on his face, Yoongi wanted to refuse at the same time he doesn’t. 

After a little thinking, he nodded slightly, watching how the bright smile on the younger’s face widened. “Alright then, I’ll see you tonight.” Jimin bit his lower lip, pressing on the numbers of his door before he pushes himself in. It was empty, his apartment the moment he stepped inside, his shoes were tossed in the entrance before he watches his two friends already in the living room, dictating on the whole couch with video games’ counselors in their hands. It seemed they stayed up all night till now playing on without a single stop, because it was still early in the morning. “Guys . . When did you get here!” Jimin asked, rubbing his chin before he lay on top of the two, cutting their game with whines. “Hyung when I called you we were already here.” Jungkook pushed the latter’s butt away from him as he stood, turning off the game. 

“Where were you though? We came last night and never found you. Did you spend the night somewhere?” Minhyuk asked, stretching with his belly showing to the two. 

“Oh damn! He found new friends hyung, we have to get rid of him!!” Jungkook joked around causing Jimin to roll his eyes and sigh loudly. “I was near, don’t worry.” He threw the words before he stretches, grab his gloves and shoves his hands in, not caring if they were unknotted, not caring if they are going to fall any second and slides down his hands, all he knew that he wanted to punch the bag until it breaks down. “Hyung did you eat breakfast? do you want me to make you something?” The youngest of the three helped him, grabbing the bag in his hand to hold it firmly and be easy on Jimin to punch it. “I’m fine.” The older answered, clenching his fists before he throws a punch on the bag in front of him. The thoughts of the man he met the previous days made him throw punches in row, one after another until Jungkook gave up from holding the bag, letting whatever Jimin was holding in the inside out. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Minhyuk whispered in Jungkook’s ears who shrugged his shoulders with arms crossed against his chest, eyes starring back at Jimin’s back. Jooheon, he was filling Jimin’s head, wondering how he’s going to get rip of him easily in the next match if he was his opponent again which he wished. Jimin wanted him to break just like how he breaks others, he wanted to feel pain just like how he showed the poor tiny boy the pain of a strong fist like his. His head was driving his fists insane, Jimin was punching the bag with all his might, he was punching it to the point that it moves several times to hit his body back. “Fuck!!!” He yelled all of a sudden, startling the two who was staring at him side by side. Sweat started to show on his forehead, temples and his neck. Jimin wanted to beat him to the curb to teach him how to talk properly with people instead of beating them. 

“Hyung chill!” Jungkook approached, grabbing his friends from behind to stop him from beating the bag that almost ripped from his fists. Struggles, Jimin struggled more to free himself and let everything in his system out. Hearing someone crying dropped his heart to the ground from bleeding, it all reminded him of himself when he was younger, when he was thrown away from home as he lived with his grandmother alone. She was the only nice person to him. Seeing Yoongi getting hurt reminded him of everything that he once forgot and never thought it would relive in his head. Watching the bruises on the pale face made him wants to protects the elder from any harm. Training would make him much stronger, but that’s only physically. Jimin wanted to become stronger mentally and heartedly. 

“Jimin if you kept punching that bag your hand will bruise, you won’t be able to move them tomorrow in the match.” Minhyuk ruffled his own hair, watching how Jimin never tried to hear him and moved on with his actions. “That fucker is dead!!” Jimin yelled all of a sudden, gulping before he punches the bag one last time, legs bending down to the ground as he laid with arms wide open, breathing heavily from his hands that never stopped. His puffy lips were parting, shoving as much as air as he could to his lungs. Chest rising and falling rapidly with slight coughs escaping him. “Who’s that ’fucker’ Jimin?” Minhyuk rolled his eyes, bending down next to his friend to look at his dripping sweat face. 

“Someone who needs his ass to be beaten up.” The younger tossed his gloves aside, still on the floor with eyes staring up at the ceiling. Why did he invite over for dinner? He asked himself. The thought made him sit up straight with eyes wandering toward his friends. “Guys! What should I cook for dinner tonight?” Jimin scratched his head, getting up on his feet, walking left and right thinking about something perfect that will match Yoongi’s taste. “Why are you asking about dinner all of a sudden? It’s still early, have lunch before.” Jungkook threw himself back on the couch as he spoke. “Someone is coming over for dinner, you brat.” Jimin scratched his head again, at the same time opening the glass door of the balcony to let the cold breeze hits his body. “Who’s coming? What are you hiding from us Park Jimin?” Minhyuk wiggled his eyebrows watching how Jimin chuckled under his breath. 

“Well . . You know the guy next door . .” 

“Oh that pale dude.” Mihyuk remembered with raised eyebrow. 

“Who’s the guy next door? What you two are hiding from me?” Jungkook jumped from his seat approaching the two with fists colliding with their heads slightly. “Ask him, he never took his eyes off of him the previous day!” Minhyuk pointed at Jimin’s whose face turned to red all of a sudden, uncontrollably. 

“Hey I wasn’t staring like what you think, I was looking at his bruises, you know?” Jimin tried to free himself from his friends who hummed at the same time punched his upper arms. “So what’s the reason you’re inviting him for dinner?” Jungkook asked. For some time Jimin forgot about Jooheon, his friends were making him busy talking about the guy next door and dinner. “I don’t have a reason actually. You see . . He’s thin I wanted to feed him a little bit.” The words made Jungkook and Minhyuk burst out laughing, it just confused Jimin who looked at them with dull face. Was it funny to make someone eats well? He wondered in his inner before he rolls his eyes and go to his room. His sweat was washed away by the warm water that streamed down his body. It just made him inhales deeply before he cleans himself and wear some comfy clothes. 

Websites were opened on the browser in his phone, searching for something to cook or look for something new to make. “Guys suggest something with me, seriously!” Jimin pouted and whined, Jungkook almost hit him with everything in front of him. “What do you want to make? Steaks? Noodles? No not noodles.” Minhyuk thought along with him, hands rubbing against his chin. “Pasta. Wait why western food, just make him kimchi and meat.” 

“No no, something different.” Jimin pouted again, scrolling down on his phone. Jungkook ended sleeping on Jimin’s bed, feeling tired from staying the whole night up playing with Minhyuk video games. The younger in the living room moved his feet al the way to the kitchen, checking if there were enough ingredients, followed by the older who was still looking for something to help. “I think I’ll make some spaghetti.” Jimin suggested, looking at his phone for a good recipe, not wanting to disappoint his waited guest. “Well that’s an easy one though.” Minhyuk smiled, ruffling the younger’s hair before he heads toward the bed that was calling for him, collapsing next to Jungkook who was already in his third dream. 

The place went dead, Jimin stayed in his place, in the kitchen staring before he heads toward the balcony. The breeze was freezing as usual, making him run his upper arms with his palms. Wonders filled his head of what was Yoongi doing outside in the cold weather, why did he decide to leave? When he noticed himself thinking about the pale guy, he shook his head right away. People would pass by down on the street which made him stare with his sleepy eyes, fist resting on his cheek with elbow on the rail. Kids on their bikes following each other around with their loud voice hitting every wall down there. The sight made Jimin smile slightly, his heart was beating calmly. For a second he wanted to go back on the the time when he was young and change his bad past to a bright one. But it was the only thing that made him stronger now. 

A sigh skipped him, he should never stay alone, the thoughts would dictate his mind any second. Hours passed, and it was the right time for him to work in the kitchen. His two friends were still sleeping on his bed. The kitchen was totally clean before he starts taking out the dried spaghetti and boils it in the water. Cutting some vegetables to mix them with the sauce he wanted to add on the top. For some reason Jimin wanted to do this without any mistake, it should turn out perfect. Music was turned on in his phone, listening while enjoying his time making dinner. He thought he was late when he was done at 8PM, the well cooked spaghetti was set on the dining table with steam flying in the air. 

Jimin thought Yoongi would be there any time soon. The door of his room closed as he watched Jungkook coming out, rubbing his eyes with his fist. “Hyung?” He called the older who was standing in the middle of the living room, waiting. “He’s not here yet?” The younger asked, peeking at whatever Jimin made for the both of them. Shaking head by his side made him hum in a low tone. “Do you think he’ll even come?” Jimin asked with sigh. Yeah maybe Yoongi never wanted even to come over to his apartment. “I don’t know him, so I can’t say anything.” Jungkook yawned, pulling out a bottle from the refrigerator to irrigate his dried throat. One hour passed slowly, Jimin settled himself on the floor with head resting on the couch behind him. 

Staying in that position reminded him of the morning when he woke up in Yoongi’s apartment. He felt it all, the way the pale fingers sank in his hair, the way he heard a deep inhale, the way he felt the elder nuzzling. Jimin felt them all, but stayed quiet, thinking that Yoongi was still asleep when he made his moves. The next hour made Jimin curse in his inner, the dinner was already cold, they won’t be able to eat it unless he heats it again, the fresh taste would vanish completely. “Ah, I’m just going to sleep instead, I bet he’s not coming.” Jimin spoke his thoughts out loud, feeling hand on his shoulder patting him. The words flew in the ear as if he said nothing, he stayed in his place waiting one more hour. 

It hit 10PM When Jimin finally heard knocks on the main door. The bell should ring but he knew how quiet Yoongi was. His legs jerked from their place as he rushed toward the door, beating heart in his chest hit his skin all of a sudden even though he didn’t notice it still. Jungkook pushed a slight smile before he hides in Jimin’s room again and let them have their own time together. In the entrance that had no air all of a sudden, Jimin held the doorknob before he twisted it, pulling the door inside as it opened for the elder. “I-I’m sorry . . I’m late-“ Yoongi managed to speak, trying to take one step inside before he was going to pass out on the ground before the younger stretches his hands right away to catch him. It was a shocking appearance for Jimin, the pale face of Yoongi was covered with blood from forehead to his chin, body quivering just like every time he sees him. “Holly fuck Yoongi!” Jimin cursed in a worried tone, turned the elder on his back to look at his half opened eyes that looked back at him.


	6. Painful snuggles

All he felt was the warm soft sheets underneath his sore body, the pillow was pulling him toward it as he couldn’t even open his eyes from the comfortableness. His face was burning him, chest scratching him with sharp claws, legs cutting by blades. Yoongi was in a complete pain at the same time he was feeling safe. The air around him was easy to breath, it felt fresh as the plants were surrounding him giving him oxygen to keep him alive. After he came back knocking on Jimin’s door, he couldn’t concentrate after he passed out in the strong arms that held him tight. His ears caught low sounds, sound of foot steps walking around him, heart beating faster as fear sent shivers underneath his skin, thinking about Jooheon around him. 

“You’re going to be late . .” It was a different low voice, almost whispering talking to someone. His ears captured the voice for the first time, he never heard it. The room was bright, the light that hit his eyes that opened slowly made him lift his pale hand that was wrapped with a white bandage to hide his eyes under it. The room he was in was neat, well organized, what caught his eyes was the huge mirror that took over a wall height. All he knew that he wasn’t in his apartment, he had spent another night in Jimin’s apartment instead. Jimin was sitting on a chair beside the bed, arms crossed against his chest carrying cold expression on his face when Yoongi wandered his eyes around the room. For how long have he sat like that staring at him sleeping? The elder wondered before he sits slowly, eyes dropped down to his wrapped hand with a sigh. 

“I’m sorry . . I-I’m really-“

“What happened? Was it him again?” Jimin was direct. The questions were dancing in his head since the previous night, when his arms wrapped around the elder who met his eyes with dull and broken expression filled with pain. His lower lip was bitten by his own teeth; brown eyes never took their gaze off of the elder who couldn’t keep them steady as he dropped them to his lap that was covered with Jimin’s dark blanket again. “ . . I don’t know. I don’t know if it was him or not. It happened all of a sudden.” Yoongi gulped, it wasn’t just Jimin’s eyes that was on him, but Jungkook’s too. The younger was standing by his hyung’s side with hand on his shoulder before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. 

“I was on my way here. . I just don’t know; I was attacked from behind. I couldn’t see well because it was dark. But I felt him . .” Jimin watched how his breaths hitched while talking, how he was quivering in his place with hard gulps causing his adam’s apple to move up and down several times. Yoongi was panicking slowly, with every letter his breaths were becoming heavy. “I-I felt him. He was behind me, he grabbed me . . a-and he wasn’t alone. They were like three.” 

“I told you to call me, didn’t I?” Jimin sighed, eyes steady on the man in front of him. 

“I couldn’t.” Yoongi finally looked at him, his eyes were dark and swollen. Just like an abandoned water hole, they were deep. “But I fought him back.” He continued, looking at his fist for seconds before he turns toward the younger again. It was the first time for Jimin’s ears to hear Yoongi talking for so long, he would talk shortly with him or never talk back at all. “Y-You,” The elder swallowed, biting down his lower lip that carried a cut before he slid his legs to the edge of the bed, facing the younger completely. “You said we can kill him . . together.” he breathed, moving his hands to the latter’s chest that was covered with a fabric. “I can’t take it any longer please. . please I-I don’t want him around me, I don’t want him to follow me, please.” The more he pleaded the more Jimin clenched his fists by his side. 

“Yoongi . . I told you we can’t get rip of him completely-“ 

“No! We can! If you are not going to help me any more I’m going to kill him by myself!” The elder clenched his fist, tugging on the younger’s shirt tight with trembling lips. The easy air that filled the room turned upside down, it was suffocating him, strangling him. Jimin looked down at him with furrowed eyebrows, maybe if Jooheon appeared as his opponent he’d be able to win over him and teach him his lessons. “I still don’t believe you, and I won’t believe you. You’re the type who can’t keep your words!” Yoongi spat all of a sudden, causing the younger to grab his fists with a gentle push on the bed’s sheet again. His breath hitched when Jimin hovered over him, hands beside the both sides of his head. “You don’t know me, Yoongi.” The younger spoke in a low serious tone with eyes glued on the sleepy ones underneath him. 

“Maybe soon . .” The latter replied, as if it was déjà vu to the both of them. Yoongi spoke to him just like how Jimin replied to his words when he was in his apartment. “If you don’t want him to hurt you then stuck by my side. Don’t leave my side a second, I can protect you. Let’s take it slow, he’s going to regret everything I can promise you.” The younger’s voice was still low filling the space between then made them part their lips. It might feel strange to the both of them, but there was no other choice for Yoongi but to stay by someone who can control Jooheon easily and that was only Jimin. “You fear him, Yoongi.” There was something about the younger’s voice, it was ringing in the elder’s voice with pleasure. It was soft, easy for the ears to hear at the same time it was addicted. 

“I know. .” Whispers escaped Yoongi, watching how close Jimin to his face made his hands involuntary move all the way to the back of his head. The soft silky hair, the bright orange color made him want to touch it again. “I-I know . . I know.” He kept repeating, totally aware of the fear he was holding in his chest. Nothing mattered to Jimin all of a sudden, as if the time stopped. His forehead was leaning closer every half a second, the useless distance was closing with breaths mixed together. “ . . I know.” Yoongi tied his tongue, his parted pink lips were anticipating, the way his fingers ran through Jimin’s hair hitched his breath. The younger among the two took a deep breath before he pulls himself back, getting on his feet as he headed to the living room, grabbing his bag in hand all the way to the main door. 

In the entrance he sat on the floor, shoving his feet in his sneakers before he knots the laces firmly. “Ready to go?” Minhyuk asked gaining a hum from the younger who was swallowing his saliva that gathered in his mouth. Pale thin fingers were still tangling with the back of his hair, invisibly. “Hold on!” The voice behind him made him stand on his feet again and turn toward the source of it, Yoongi. The elder was catching his breath as if he ran for miles, his bruised face that was covered with bandaids faced Jimin again. “You told me to stuck by your side . . I’m trailing you to wherever you’re going!” Just like the spring breeze blew, Jimin smiled slightly when he heard the voice that blew in his ears instead. The distance was closing slowly. They were starting to know each other more with the days. 

“He’s going to be there. Will you be alright?” The younger asked, lifting his bag to his shoulder before he let his eyes tangle with the latter. Even if Yoongi nodded, Jimin knew he’d bleed inside if his eyes met Jooheon, his chest would narrow with feet running away from the ring any second. The main door opened by Jungkook’s hand, the four stepped outside. For a second, Yoongi turned his gaze to the box he threw outside, but it wasn’t there. Did Jooheon drop by last night? Did he follow Yoongi all the way back? The elder never stopped the question from tangling in his head. The ideas just made him shiver in his place. To the parking lot they ended, to Jungkook’s black car. Minhyuk and Jungkook were making the elder nervous for some reason, he would ignore them if they tried to open up with him or answer their questions with silence. 

Jimin settled himself on the backseat with Yoongi, Jungkook started the car with Minhyuk sitting next to the driver seat beside him. What if Jooheon wasn’t his opponent today? Jimin asked himself, eyes staring back at the blue sky when they left the parking lot to the open air. First of everything, he would disappoint Yoongi. Secondly he would be disappointed himself. Out of all the wrestlers he wanted to fight Jooheon, he wanted to throw his strong punches at every corner of his body. Jooheon should taste some pain. The thoughts of the latter made his eye lenses wander all the way to the elder by his side. Yoongi was in his inner world, thinking, wondering with eyes staring outside the window to the moving buildings and streets, well he was moving though. 

One line ran in Jimin’s ears; it was Yoongi’s voice yelling at Jooheon for never getting him back again. Why would a poor guy like the one by his side was with someone so evil? Jimin never found an answer for this, they weren’t for each other at all. The side of his face was perfect, small nose, pink thin lips that were pressing against each other gently, not log eyelashes but they were hanging on his sleepy eyelids, bright hair covering his pale forehead, Yoongi had something different about him. For a second he pitied the elder, someone like him should be treated like a little prince, even if he wasn’t the social type but he was pure, Jimin can sense it. “Jimin let’s go.” Minhyuk breathed, undoing the seatbelt when they reached the ring. It was faster by the car to Yoongi who used to walk tangling his arm with Jooheon’s. 

The breeze outside felt colder than any other day, people were entering the ring more than usual, or maybe Jimin was early today spotting every scene. His name would be called with every few steps he took as he waves to the smiling people. Nothing was new to Yoongi, he was busy thinking with fingers tugging on the back of Jimin’s shirt slightly to the point that the younger in front of him never felt anything. What if Jooheon found him between the crowd? What if he followed him around and beat him in front of others’ eyes? What if he caused a scene out there? Yoongi’s head was going to explode any second soon, he was shivering, every single hair of his body stood as it turned white from fear. Jooheon was nothing but a nightmare to him. 

“Hyung,” Jimin called out for Minhyuk who hummed as a response. “Can you accompany him to the ring? Find him a seat out of sight.” He was talking but his eyes were on the elder in front of him. The look on Yoongi’s face crumbled, can’t he just go with Jimin’s to the changing room? He wondered in his inner. “Alright, come on.” Minhyuk smiled at the elder who looked at him with cold eyes, followed him with slow feet. “Is he always like this? So quiet?” Jungkook wondered out loud, his feet turned along with Jimin who gave his back to the two as he walked to the changing room to get ready with heart beating uneasily. “I bet only with people he doesn’t know, he spoke this morning, a lot.” Jimin chuckled in a sweet tone, hand twisting the doorknob of the changing room. Luckily, he had his own. The bag in his hand were tossed on one of the benches before he takes a deep breath, hoping for today’s fight to be easy. 

His shirt was tossed aside. The black shorts were lifted all the way to settle on his waistband. Jimin titled his head to the sides before he stretches his hands to Jungkook, his wrists wrap wrapped around his skin to protect his bones, he would be able to throw forceful punches at his opponent freely. The black gloves shoved his hands in, they were knotted firmly wrapped with a tape. “I have a bad feeling about today’s match.” Jimin breathed with a sigh, his chest wasn’t in its place as he felt a wave of uneasiness again. “Why hyung? Don’t over think. Nothing will happen.” Jungkook patted his bare shoulder to sooth him a little before he gets ready to walk to the ring that was waiting for him to stand on the platform. The room had its own time with him when the younger left to wait for him around the ring, his face buried behind his palms as he sighed, wondering how he’ll face Jooheon and what if he wasn’t there? 

The mirror in the changing room was waiting for him, he stood right in front of it to look back at his face. “Good luck. .” The words hit the mirror as he talked to himself. With his black boxing gloves, he pushed his fringes to the back, letting the air hit his forehead. A deep air filled his lungs with eyes closed for seconds, his feet turned toward the door feeling nervous for some reason. The more his footsteps echoed in the hallway the more he heard the voice of the crowd cheering, increasing. “Park Jimin! . . Park Jimin! . . Park Jimin!” He would hear his name shaking the whole place, his heart would flutter along with the butterflies in his stomach. Light hit his face the moment he let his feet inside the floor that was surrounding the ring. 

The platform was waiting for his feet to step on them. Jungkook was waiting for him to shove the mouth guard in his mouth, with a pat on the bare back again the younger smiled at his friend one last time. Between the thick ropes Jimin entered the ring, waiting patiently for his opponent to appear in front of him. His eyes wandered in the crowd, not in the first row of seat nor in the second and third, he would look at the corner seats to capture the familiar messed up face with Minhyuk. People’s faces were fading in his eyes, the focus was on Yoongi when his eyes met his from afar, a slight smile showed on his face as he watched Yoongi’s head bends down out there. The smile didn’t fall from his face willingly; it fell when his eyes captured the black haired dude standing on the platform in front of him. 

Jimin was feeling it, his heart was right when Jooheon didn’t appear but Wonho instead. Today wasn’t his day with the beast he wanted to beat, he cursed in his inner for a second. The same straight blank face he carried to face the guy in front of him. Compared to Jimin, Wonho was quite bigger, taller and stronger in some ways. Three minutes started to count down when the fight began, Jimin took his position as upright stance, his hand was right in front of him with his left hand near his jawline. Unlike Jooheon, Wonho was a quiet rival, he would fight without a single word escaping him until he’s done with his opponent. The first move was from Jimin, what was on his mind wasn’t Wonho but Yoongi. His hand threw a powerful straight punch on the former’s face before he took one step back to his upright stance. 

The lights were strong enough for his eyes to watch the crowd a black sea, he wanted to meet the elder’s eyes again but he couldn’t from the next punch he received from his opponent. “Jimin what are you going!” Jungkook yelled as he approached the ring behind Jimin. What was he doing? Wasn’t he fighting like he usually does? Jimin asked himself slipping from his place when a punch was going to touch him again. Coldness was taking over him, he wasn’t stronger like the previous times, he would doze off thinking even though it wasn’t the right time to think about anything. Yoongi shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, eyes glued on the younger who was in the ring throwing punches at Wonho. Silence replied to Minhyuk whenever he parts his lips to speak with him, they were feuding him. 

He was one fish in the black sea, drowning tranquilly in his place. For some reason he was thinking about Jooheon. Wondering if he’s going to fight after Jimin or not. The first page of their story were burned in his heart, the sweet Jooheon vanished from his mind completely. He was fed some pain and needles. His head would tilt to the side, thoughts still dancing in his head for few seconds more. It was Jimin’s turn to take over his mind, the veins that popped out in his muscled arms were like thin pipes underneath his skin, his torso that was covered with sweat made him swallow the saliva that gathered in his mouth. “Hmm .. Here to see me, Yoongi?” Voice echoed in his ears from behind as he froze in his place. His thin body felt hands reach out for his waist as they settled there. 

“My poor boy, are you in pain?” If he can yell for him to stop talking he would, the voice behind him sent shivers beneath his pale skin. It felt like fall again, every piece in him crumbled to the ground just like autumn leaves, shoes would squish them even if they were stepped slightly. Yoongi’s heart bled in his chest, at the same time dropped to his stomach from the sudden fear that surrounded him again. It was the same painful fear that scratches him with sharp claws. It hurts, so much. Hearing Jooheon’s voice behind him shut his sleepy eyes tight, the hands crawled on his body as his strong arms wrapped around his torso. “I’m sorry but I want you back . . I’m craving you these days a lot Yoonie . .” He was whispering in his ears, nuzzling on the side of his head at the same time. 

Jimin threw himself on one of the corners with heavy breaths, the solid mouth guard in his mouth was taken off as he spat blood right away. “Are you alright, can you keep going hyung?” Jungkook asked worriedly when his friend cursed out loud, trying to concentrate from the punches his received on his head. “Yoongi . . Yoongi please . . I want to see him first.” Jimin gulped. It was hurting him again, his heart wasn’t at ease at all, more like bothering him. “Take it off . .” He breathed and murmured to his friend who rose one eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Jungkook was confused. “Take this fucking glove off!!” The older yelled all of a sudden, rushing Jungkook’s hand to undone the tape that was wrapped around his glove before it was tossed aside, his other glove was thrown by his own hand before he wipes the sweat on his forehead with his forearm. 

“What’s wrong with you!!” 

Without any answer, Jimin escaped from the match. His body jumped from the ring with eyes on Yoongi right way. All his eyes captured, was him running followed by Jooheon. His heart knew something was happening out there. Right on the opposite direction he moved his legs, ignoring his name that was called thousand times, ignoring that he had more rounds to go on with Wonho, ignoring everything surrounded him except the pale dude. His wrapped hands clenched their fists, Yoongi should ran across him any second soon unless he lifts the whole place. In the hallways his running feet were echoing, people would stop him from appearing in front of him and try to talk, but Jimin knew nothing but ignorance at that moment. Strong gale blew, taking his heart along with it. 

In the main entrance he stopped with his head turning to the sides, hearing people whisper to each other along with the security guards that were standing with wide eyes looking back at him. “Yoongi!!” The name hit every corner when his eyes captured the familiar bright hair running in front of him with head turned to the back, making sure Jooheon was a bit further from him. It hit the elder right in his head when he heard Jimin’s voice, his panics remained steady when his feet rushed toward the younger, throwing his arms around his neck involuntary when breeze of safeness surrounded him. “He’s here . . He’s following me. .” The elder’s trembling voice in the younger’s ears made him curse under his breath. The second his eyes captured Jooheon, he pushed Yoongi off of him gently before he grabs his wrist and rush his feet away from his sight. 

“Do you have your phone with you?” Jimin asked all of a sudden, turning toward the elder who handed him his phone immediately. In a dark room that had no lights swallowed them, the younger closed the door after he pulled Yoongi with him who tripped but grabbed the former’s bare shoulders to save himself. “Fuck him! He won’t ever learn his lessons!” Jimin sighed, tapping numbers on the phone in his hand before he lifts it to his ears. Shivering hands on his skin made his eyes look down at the elder, still panicking from meeting Jooheon. “Are you alright?” His free hand rested on the former’s waist for the first time, sneaked to his upper back with Adam’s apple moving up and down, pulled him closer with beating heart to cool his heavy breaths. 

The call was ringing, his ears almost forgot about it when his eyes dropped down to the former even though it was dark, hardly saw him in front of him, but he can feel everything, his senses worked. The hard breaths were hitting his chin; his puffy lips can feel the former’s small nose near. One more time, he was answered with silence. “Hello?” His call was answered, Jungkook’s voice echoed in his ears but his focus was on Yoongi. “ . . Kook it’s me, I need the car keys. My bag too.” 

“PARK JIMIN!! Where the hell did you go!!” The yells on the other line made Jimin sigh in his place. “I’ll explain later, now I need them, I’ll meet you near the car.” Jimin hung up the call before he hands Yoongi his phone, disappointing himself when one hand slip away from his body. “. . hey.” Whisper filled the air between them, it pulled the elder closer uncontrollably. “It’s ok now.” Jimin rubbed his palms on the former’s back, lifting them all the way to his upper back before he pulls him to his bare chest, running one hand on the back of his hair. He considered it their first snuggle when familiar arms settled on his shoulders. They were out of earth for seconds, Jimin gulped before he tilts his head slightly, rubbing their soft cheeks against each other before he collides their noses together. 

“ . . what are you doing?” The elder asked, he managed to speak when he cooled down in the younger’s embrace. “I don’t know . .” Jimin closed his eyes, eyebrows never settled in their place. He was leaning and pulling himself at the same time, slightly. It was happening the same to the elder, his pale hands rested on the former’s tan neck before he took his breath away. He would part his lips and lean, he would whimper and furrow his eyebrows in a worried shape, he would pull the younger closer and pushes him away the next second. “. . I can’t do this.” Yoongi whispered, the words flew in the narrow space between them. “Maybe soon . .” The younger chuckled in a low tone, his hand slid back to the former’s wrist before he let the daylight hit their eyes. The former’s head was down the whole time, all the way to the familiar black car. There was Jungkook, crossing his arms against his chest with foot tapping on the ground, he was pissed off.

“Tell me where the hell you’re going and then I’ll give you the keys.” Jimin rolled his eyes, his hand was open right in front of the younger’s face. “Kook I don’t have so much time, I’m in hurry! And It’s cold I need my shirt.” He grabbed his back along with the keys, gaining death glares from the younger in front of him. The front door was opened for Yoongi, he sat uncomfortably until Jimin Jumped on the driver seat next to him. His bag was thrown on the backseat after he pulled his white long sleeved top to sink in, the wraps around his palms were tossed in his bag as well. His fists closed and opened few times before he starts the engine. Chuckles skipped him when Yoongi slid down the seat. “What are you doing?” Jimin asked, biting his lower lips before he watched Yoongi’s hand moving, pointing. 

Jooheon was still looking for him around the place, wave of anger filled the younger as he wanted to hit him by the car. His hand spun the steering wheel and press on the pedal underneath his foot. “He’s behind us now.” Jimin breathed, watching how Yoongi sighed in relief and sat straight. “Why won’t he just give up ..” the elder murmured under his breath, his eyes wandered in the blue sky as he tilted his head to the back. Jus like kids he was imagining in his seat, as if the nature of the sky pulled him out of reality, he would watch the sun follows them, varying on the skyline. Buildings and skyscrapers would pass by them like someone edit them in a program. “Want to talk?” The younger snapped him out of his inner world as he turned his head to look at the side of his face for seconds before he faces the front with silence. 

“No?” Jimin looked back at him, the familiar smile on his face as his usual self. Silence answered him again, it bled him. He was driving, but there was not a certain place he wanted them to go, nor he wanted to take them back home. The heavy breaths he felt against his chin needs to change, he wanted the elder to breath calmly. “. . I’m sorry.” Yoongi hummed under his breath, turning his face away to avoid the eye that looked at him from the corner of Jimin’s eyes. “Why are you apologizing again?” The younger asked, pressed on the brakes when the traffic lights turned red. “You left the match . . because of me.” The elder spoke as if he talked to himself, low tone like a choir. 

“That’s alright . . I had a bad feeling though, you know . . you getting hurt and stuff.” The younger spoke, tapping his fingertip on the steering wheel. “What’s your relationship with him?” the sudden question hitched Yoongi’s breath, his tongue tied one more time as he couldn’t answer anything at all. His head tilted to collide with window by his side, Jooheon was good for him once. Was. His true self sent the elder to hell. Black again, the black vision appeared behind his closed eyelids. Sleep took over him in the car, the pink lips were parted, eyelashes resting on his cheeks that embraced bruises and cuts. Jimin’s eyes would wander to stare at him whenever he gets the chance because to him at that moment, Yoongi was a portrait. The black car stopped facing a flooding river. 

It was reflecting the orange sky, the sun was at the edge of the horizon, telling her goodbyes to earth. Jimin didn’t know for how long he rode, he stopped to get warm drink for the both of them but Yoongi didn’t felt anything as he drowned in his sleep, it has been a long time since he closed his eyes to rest well. The moment the door of the drive’s side closed, he opened his eyes suavely, wrinkling the skin of his eyelids, wandering his eyes around him. Jimin’s back was facing him, the orange hair matched the colorful aurora in front of him. The wide shoulder he touched felt warm, the bare chest his palms rested on was home, it was all what Yoongi thinks about when his eyes captures the younger. What was Jimin? Yoongi asked himself before he moves his nervous hand to the doorknob. 

He stepped out of the car, hands buried in his jeans pockets to avoid the cold breeze, for some reason he felt guilty for making Jimin leave the match in his boxing shorts and light long sleeved shirt. Yoongi stood nervously by his side, facing the moving clean water of the river. The glittering liquid was taking over his eyes. “Coffee?” The younger handed him the dark warm drink in his hand to warm his throat and inner body parts. “Your hot chocolate would be much better.” Yoongi took a sip from the coffee in his hand before he sat on the car beside the younger. “He was my boyfriend.” Jimin’s question was answered late, when he spoke the younger understood him with eyes focusing on the falling sun. 

“It was one sided break up . . from me . . but he still wants to get me back.” Yoongi took another sip with legs lifting to his chest. “Why did you break up with him?” Jimin knew why, but he wanted to hear from the elder himself, he wanted him to talk, to open up with him, to let whatever he was hiding in his chest out. “He hurts me, he always beat me as if I was the lowest person he has ever met and I hated it. It was fine fore few months, the rest of it was hell. I couldn’t take it any longer. Seeing him from afar now. . ” Yoongi stopped, gulping hard, his head tilted down to rest on his knees. “Seeing him from afar . . it kills me. It suffocates me. I-I feel like it’s my last day on earth. His fists break my bones; I would wake up every morning sore.” Low whimpers skipped him, his hard breaths sent Jimin how broke he was, how his warm tears were rolling down his cheeks behind his knees. 

“I never thought someone would hear me. I-I thought I’d live in agony for the rest of my life between his hands.” Jimin looked at him with broken eyes, his hand stretched to the elder’s hair as he pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around him, pulling him even more close than they already were. “That fucker doesn’t deserve you. Yoongi, if you want to talk about anything I’d be here to hear you. And I live right beside you, you can come and chill with me.” The younger’s voice was a soothing melody, it was soft and gentle, suave and comfortable. The warm drink in Yoongi’s hand was placed aside, his arms wrapped around the familiar shoulders, snuggling closer to the younger that tightened his arms around him.


	7. The guy next door

      Warmth, cordiality, comfiness, if anyone talked about them Yoongi would think of Jimin's embrace. His muscled arms were shelter, his warm chest was like a calm ocean, Yoongi would sink deeper in. After the long ride that took forever for them to go back to the familiar building, the younger made sure Yoongi made his way inside his apartment safely without any harm. The same smile showed on his face when the elder turned toward him for the last time before he opened the door. "Thanks for today." He bowed slightly, admiring the latter's smile for seconds. "Stop thanking me, now go in." Jimin waved lightly, turning the elder toward the door, his eyes watched him go inside quietly. Every single move Yoongi takes was filled with quietness and silence. 

 

      The younger's nape was rubbed by his small soft palm, lower lip was bitten before he went to his apartment with a huge grin on his face. His bag was tossed aside, his sneakers were messily thrown in the entrance. The lights turned on, Jimin's weight collided with his bed. The heaviness of the day slipped away from him like waterfalls, pillows underneath his face were gentle enough for him to smile like an idiot. It smelled different, unlike his own scent but it was mixed with another scent, he inhaled deeply, nuzzled the next second, his nose rubbed against his own pillow with closed eyes. It was a sweet addictive scent that sticks in the nostrils. Jimin didn't stop his arms from wrapping around it, he squeezed it before he toss it aside all of a sudden, it stumbled on the ground like a thing that needs to be forsaken.   

 

      "Fuck!" He breathed, getting on his feet all the way to his bathroom. Water flooding on the sink, it splashed on his face several times. The pure liquid was cold, it sent shivers down Jimin's body, hitching his breath every time it touches his face. Yoongi's scent surrounded him now, it moved his heart from its place as it skipped a beat all of a sudden. No wonder he would lean to steal a kiss from the elder's pink kissable lips. On the other side the latter was laying on his bed, rolling left and right to fine the comfortable zone to sleep. It's always a fail, Yoongi was a loser when it comes to sleep. His head was heavy, thoughts dancing in his head without a single stop. Jooheon and Jimin were mixed together, devil and angel as they were arguing about who would settle on his head.

 

      Jimin would comfort him for seconds but Jooneon would scratch him deeply. Memories from the ring tangled together, the hands he felt on his waist, the arms that wrapped around him dropped his heart to the core of earth. His knees touched his chest as he curled like a fetus, the thoughts made him quiver like a scared child under his blanket. The darkness of the room was giving him chills down his spine, the sound of the cold wind outside his window was clearly heard in his quiet room. Familiar voices, familiar touches, Yoongi felt them behind him all of a sudden with a whimper escaping him. Jooneon was right behind him, on his bed, grabbing him from behind firmly, he was locked in a cage made of strong steel. His own heavy breathes were the only thing was heard in his room.

 

      Yoongi didn't want to hear his voice rings in his ears nor want his arms around him. "Stay away from me!!" He yelled his heart our, struggling in his place. Jooheon gripped him tighter, still nuzzling on his face and neck, he was chocking the elder with his hands, blocking him from breathing. Yoongi's feet leaped from his bed, fists clenching on his shirt with eyes wide open. Everything was an illusion, Jooheon wasn't in his room nor he was touching him. The latter whimpered again, feeling warmth creeping in his eyes as he blinked several times, lifting his pale hands to his hair, pulling it. His feet took steps backward until his back collided with the wall behind him. On the corner his legs bend down, rubbing his back against the wall all the way down. They rolled down his cheeks, the tears that flooded from his eyes all the way down to his jawbone. 

 

      It was loudening with every more seconds passed, his sobs. They were loners, broken and poor, his heart was pounding from fear. Yoongi sniffed, trying to catch his breath from his unstopping cries, his hands covered his ears when Jooheon's voice echoed in his ears again, even though it wasn't real but the memories remained steady, they are still alive. He'd yell to the air to leave him alone but nothing worked out. His eyes were swollen red from crying his heart out, lips trembling like usual, nose sniffing trying to stop and sooth himself. Yoongi stayed still in his place for few more hours, it past midnight already when he didn't move an inch from the corner in his room. If Jimin was by his side maybe he'd feel better.

 

      At 3AM he stood again, stumbling from curling for hours in the corner. He knew he looked pale and swollen, knew how awful his face was, knew how he's going to tremble more when he stood right in front his mirror. His hand touched his face, curling his fingers to scratch himself with broken heart. The reflection in front of him was copying him, whatever move he took, it was still copying him. Yoongi clenched his fists, with anger filling his chest it moved straight forward as he punched the mirror in front of him, watching himself crumble for the 10th time. He wasn't satisfied, his fist broke every glass that was still pinning on the wall, he would throw his fists in random direction from the overwhelm and frustration. It was making him feel better, taking few things out of his system, Yoongi took step backward, hard breaths remaining steady. Any second he might pass out from the way he was breathing. 

 

      His feet stumbled on the glass as they sank in his flesh without hesitation, deeper and deeper until he noticed the pain in his feet. Blood drops were making tiny ponds on the vanity along with the grounds, his fist were bleeding from the sharp glass, his feet were calling for mercy. Yoongi's back collided with the bed again, his eyes stared back at the ceiling with his blurry gaze. Time passed when he didn't know when he fell asleep, all he watched when he opened his eyes was the sun that was already up, warming the earth even though the weather was still freezing. His sleepy eyelids opened suavely, eyeballs burning from crying for hours, feet sore from the cuts, fists weak that made a pond of blood on his bright sheets. 

 

      Oversized hoody pulled him in, to hide his ugly pale hands that were beautiful hours ago, he pulled the sleeve to hide the painful cuts. His kitchen was empty, Yoongi rarely eat like humans. He would eat cereals or plain rice without anything. For seconds his stomach craved Jimin's hot chocolate in the morning, if only he can feel the warm liquid runs down his throat he would feel better. When his tongue first tasted it, it was tasty. With a sigh, Yoongi moved his way to the balcony to let new fresh air fills his apartment, the door slid open as he took one step with his swollen foot. The weather was cold as ever, sending shivers underneath people's skin. He took a deep inhale before he exhale and swallow his saliva. 

 

      "Oh! Yoongi! Good morning!!" Yoongi almost tensed in his place when he heard Jimin's voice echoing in his ears, he was right beside him but in his own balcony smiling his usual smile to the elder with thin gloves in his hand and a mug on the other. Cheerful as ever. " . . Morning." The elder hummed, avoiding the younger's eyes as he faced the front with silence. What Jimin watched wasn't Yoongi, but another dude with dark circles surrounding his eyes like pandas. "Is this how we are going to meet from now on? In this balcony?" Jimin chuckled before he moves closer to the balcony's edge that was near Yoongi's. The elder shrugged his shoulders slightly, turning his head toward the younger finally with eyes scanning his whole happy face and shoulders. 

 

      Those shoulders he clung on, his warm chest that embraced him. For a second Yoongi wanted to jump over there and snuggle the younger, let himself drown in the needed warmth. "Do you want some hot chocolate? I didn't touch this yet." Jimin snapped him out of his thoughts, stretching his hand all the way to the other balcony, waiting for the elder to take the mug away. "I was craving that." The elder bit his lower lip, it curved the next second. His ears burned and Jimin noticed it, noticed the redness, the way Yoongi just smiled for the first time since they met each other. The elder's swollen hand that was covered by his long sleeves stretched to grab the mug. Was it because his hand showed or was it because his hands were weak because they were swollen? His fingers never curled around the mug carefully as it fell all the way down from the 15th floor. 

 

      "Holy shit!! That was my favorite!" Jimin almost yelled from surprise, sticking his head out to look down at the crumbled mug that vanished from afar, thankfully it didn't drop on someone's head. "I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" The elder apologized right away, moving his head to join the younger and look down. Pout showed on the younger's face before he lift his head, not expecting the  elder's head to be so close. It hit him, the familiar scent, Yoongi's scent that stuck on his pillows. " . . Sorry-" The latter was stopped by index finger on his pink lips. Jimin would lie if he said they weren't soft, they were full of fondness, those kissable lips. "It's totally fine, I can get a new one though." He smiled, pulling his finger back, resting his arms on the rail, facing the elder. 

 

      "Did you sleep well? Your eyes are dark today." Jimin wondered out loud, watching how the elder turned his head away instead of facing him. "Yeah." Lies, Yoongi lied even though he felt guilty, Jimin was someone who should never lie at. "Do you train every single day?" The subject was changed fast, the elder doesn't want to be asked more questions as he asked instead, gaining nods from the younger. "Of course, I have to." Jimin punched the air with the same smile. 

 

      "Do you want to learn a little?" 

 

      "It's not my thing." Yoongi waved his hands with shaking head. 

 

      "Aye~ Come on just a little. I want to train with someone, it's kinda lonely here." 

 

      The elder glared at him for seconds before he rubs his nape. Yes Yoongi hated it, he hated boxing but if that what Jimin wanted then maybe he can have a little fun with him and forgets about his crazy thoughts. "Alright . ." He bit his lower lip when the younger told him to come over, spat out his passcode as well. Jimin's smile widened, he waited patiently for the elder to press on the buttons to unlock the door himself. When he was finally in his flat, he almost jumped in his place before he approaches him. Yoongi shyly let himself in, stood by the former's side with hands hiding in his oversized hoody's pocket. "I feel happy we're doing this." The younger grabbed gloves for the elder to wear. It wasn't like his, simple one but it was blue boxing gloves. 

 

      "I don't want you to hurt your hands, so here." Yoongi's hands were already hurt, the younger had no idea at all. He helped him shove his hands in before he lifts his sleeves to his elbows. They were white, pale enough for his veins underneath his skin to be seen clearly. "Thanks." Yoongi breathed, watching the small fingers knotting the laces of the gloves. "Alright I'll just teach you how to punch and defend." Jimin's face turned upside down to serious all of a sudden, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. Teaching Yoongi these two things was for reasons, Jimin wanted him to protects himself, to know how to fight when he's away from him, to punch Jooheon if he tried to touch him. 

 

      The elder was moved in front of a bag filled with sand, he gulped hard when Jimin stood right behind him, stretching his hands to his shoulders before he slides them down to his thighs. Moving one to the front, slightly. Yoongi was thin, just like how he sees him, it felt like he was touching bones instead of filled flesh. "So now, just imagine this your opponent or let's say someone you want to beat to the curb." Jooheon, Jimin knew it, he knew Yoongi wanted to kill him at once but for now he wanted him to learn. The elder's upper arms were as thin as Jimin expected, he positioned his hands, one near his jawline and the other a bit further. "In this position, you can throw a straight punch." The younger explained, at the same time he was nervous, Yoongi was way too close against his chest to breath. 

 

      Jimin wasn't wrong, Yoongi draw a picture of Jooheon on the bag in front of him. This familiar warmth behind him made him feel safe even if he was doing something he doesn't like. "Punch!" The word pulled the fear in Yoongi's heart as he did what was he told, even though his fists were in pain, were swollen, bleeding, but he didn't care, the elder punched the bag in front of him but it wasn't as strong as he wanted it to from pain. His eyebrows would furrow from the pain he felt but who cares, he wanted to punch the bag a little bit more. "Shit!" Yoongi cursed loudly, turning his head slightly to look at the younger who was right behind him. "It's okay, that wasn't bad." Jimin gave him a smile "Now punch it again.". The bag didn't move, the elder's punches weren't as strong as what he thought in his head. It leaked out, his blood between his finger inside the glove. His hand was burning him, scratching him as he groaned lowly. 

 

      "Everything is fine?" 

 

      "Y-Yeah . . I just feel hot!" 

 

      Yoongi was nervous as hell at the same time he was afraid of taking off the gloves to shock the younger with his bleeding hand. "You just threw two punches man . ." The younger sighed but smiled after a second. His arms crossed against his chest, staring back at the elder punching the bag in front of him. Yoongi's face wasn't at ease, it was confusing Jimin, he would wince or furrow his eyebrows, he would soften his face and then back to anger. Heavy breathes satisfied the air, beads of sweat showed on the elder's temples as his hair stuck to his skin. The laces were unknotted, he turned around, away from the younger to place them down on the coffee table in the living room before he tosses his hoody aside. In his white tank top he stayed, showing his thin pale arms to the younger who gulped before he knots the laces again. 

 

      "Leave that bag aside. Yoongi, I want you to punch me." Shaking head replied to him, the elder refused the idea right away. "It's ok, I'm used to this just punch me." Jimin gave him a smile before he stands in front of him completely. Yoongi's eyes were on his brown ones, reading them perfectly. His fists lifted near his face, positioning himself, in a second he approached stretching one hand in front of him all the way to collide it with the latter's face. Yoongi stumbled, punching the air instead of Jimin. "Are you going to play around with me now?" Chuckles left the latter before he shakes his head. They went for one more hour, the elder would throw punches in the air and stumble forward every time. It was kind of fun to the both.  

 

      Yoongi's back collided with the floor underneath him, beads of sweat dropped down his body, his heavy breaths filled the air. Pale hands were swollen enough for them to paralyze for days until they regain their energy again. His whole body tensed from its place when cold water splashed on his face all of a sudden. It was fresh at the same time dropped his heart to his stomach, all he heard was the younger's familiar chuckles, holding a glass of cold water in his hand. "Do you want more?" Jimin laughed again, moving backward when Yoongi got on his feet carrying angry face along with him. He hardly tossed the gloves in his hands aside before he runs behind the younger in the living room. "You better come here at this instant!" Yoongi chuckled for the first time with Jimin, there was another reason for the latter to stop his feet and stare back at the elder with wide eyes. 

 

      He was beautiful, a thin young man with small teeth, Yoongi looked perfect when he's happy. It was his chance to approach the younger first, his feet moved closer hesitantly, it never stopped until his fingertips touched Jimin's. "Got you . ." The elder whispered, his nose touched the former's cheek before Jimin feels the cold water streams down his head. Yoongi managed to get the glass from his hand since he was dozed out on his smile. Before he dropped his hand by his side, fingers wrapped around his wrist. "I got you too." Jimin gulped, pulling the elder's body again when he noticed the bloody hand. "And how did this happen to you?" He asked, feeling the former trying to pull his hands back but they were firmly locked between the latter's fingers. 

 

       Huge gray cloud were above Yoongi all of a sudden, filled with thunder and cold rain. He froze in his place like a statue, all he did was gulping hard with tying tongue. "Tell me." The younger dropped his gaze down to look at the pale face when Yoongi's head bend down. On the couch they sat right beside each other with hand between Jimin's, wrapping bandage around the cuts his eyes captured. Silence. More silence, Yoongi was made of silence. Not a single word left from between his pink lips, even if he talked, how was he going to tell the man by his side what he gone through? He wondered. Once the younger was done, the former got on his feet, grabbing his hoody and left the flat without a word. Jimin cursed, running his fingers through his hair angrily before he punches the poor cushion on the couch. 

 

      In his room Yoongi locked himself, everything was on its place. The messy sheets were unorganized as ever, the broken glass were still dictating the floor. There were some reasons behind the warmth behind his eyeballs. He can't talk even though he's way too emotional, Yoongi is sensitive, by doing anything he'd let his heavy system out to sooth himself. But when it comes to Jimin, he feels different, he feels like talking, the words would never settle in the right place to let them out. It was making him feel bad and down. With a hard gulp he held them in, the tears that threatened him to roll down his thin cheeks. He stood by his window, staring outside at the cloudy sky, his head tilted as it rested against the glass. Yoongi's eyes caught everything, how the snowflakes fell down suavely to collide with the ground and hit his windows. 

 

      If he was still with Jimin he'd have asked him what he wanted to do first thing when it snows. But it was too late. By the the time, Yoongi moved around his apartment, he made some ramen and swallowed the food down his throat with eyes on the moving screen in front of him. Nothing drew in the back of his mind, the younger was filling it instead. His warm body and palms, Yoongi can still feel them on his skin. When the night took over the sky, he turned off the light before he opens the curtains in his room, to watch the falling snow clearly while he's laying on bed. They were gentle, and beautiful, Yoongi wished if he was a snowflake to fall once to show the beauty to people and then vanish without any harm, they would melt with smiles. 

 

      Their shades were on his face, taking him down along with them. Under the cold blanket he closed his eyes slowly, wishing and hoping to sleep well for once. Jooheon was there again, entering his room and holds him from behind. Yoongi whimpered in a low tone, the blanket covered his whole body to avoid any more illusions, but nothing worked. "Please . ." He breathed with a low sob, blocking his ears from hearing Jooheon's voice in his ears. For a second he felt him near for real, he felt him in the air surrounding him somewhere. No more pain, Yoongi doesn't need it. He was in a total insanity, his back moved from the sheets as he cried out loud all of a sudden, tossing everything around him aside, messing his room even more, Yoongi was watching Jooheon in front of him digging holes into him without a single stop with his glares. 

 

      He haven't done anything wrong, why would he be treated the way the younger was wrenching him. Hastily, his hand rushed for his phone as he scrolled down with his blurry gaze, looking for the familiar name to call. Chuckles left him when he spotted 'My lovely Jimie' the name on the list he had was different. With a sniff he wiped his tears away before he pressed call. It rang for few seconds, Jimin picked on the other line with silence. Nothing was heard from the both sides until the younger spoke first as usual. "Yoongi?" He sounded sleepy, the sheets under him was echoing in the former's ears. ". . I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Yoongi tried to sound normal, hearing Jimin's voice may sooth him  a bit. 

 

      "No you didn't . . What's up?" 

 

      "Hmm . . C-Can you come over . ." Yoongi already heard the door open and close on the other line. 

       "It's . . 3597 . . My passcode." Just before he ends the call, Jimin was already inside his apartment, looking for him. His phone dropped beside his body when that familiar bright face peeked inside his messed up room with straight face. Huge shock filled the younger's chest, there wasn't a space for him to reach the elder from the mess and broken glass, the way Yoongi looked so swollen from head to toe hitched his breath. "Y-Yoongi . . What happened? Wait! Don't walk you're going to get hurt!" The younger almost yelled, stretching his hands to stop the elder from approaching. Nothing settled in Yoongi's head, he walked as if no one talked to him, crossing his room all the way to Jimin, tugging on his shirt with his head leaning all the way to his shoulder. 

 

       "I'm already hurt." The latter's voice was hushed against the younger's body, weeping fit took all over him as he burst in tears with loud cries. "He's here . . He won't leave me alone" Yoongi spoke between his sobs "I'm not crazy or something but . . but . . he's here, he hurts me everyday more.". At first confusion took over the younger, but he understood the elder, Jooheon was in his head. His eyes dropped to the broken mirror, it was the only clue that Yoongi hit it with his fist. He was in a shelter when arms wrapped around him, patting his back gently. "I'm not insane . ." The elder repeated, bending his head to the back to meet the younger's eyes. "I know you're not. . Yoongi you're not crazy nor insane." Jimin tried to smile, his small hands grabbed the elder's on his chest before he drags him toward the bed carefully. 

 

      "It's ok, no one is here except us." 

 

      Sniffs were escaping the elder, he wiped his tears with his fingertips, letting Jimin lays him down his own bed gently, pulling the blanket on him till his chest. Through the light that breakthrough the window, he was able to see the elder's face. The bed was small, on one pillow they rested their heads facing each other. "Why did you do this to yourself?" Jimin asked, eyes steady on the former who ignored his brown ones. Yoongi didn't know how to answer him again, he pressed his head into the soft material, staring at his paralyzed hand in the narrow space between them. The snow outside covered him, his heart stopped beating for seconds. The younger gave up asking anymore questions, he gave Yoongi some time to pull himself together. 

 

      His muscles were moving involuntary, the fingertips touched Yoongi's hand with eyes studying his reaction. "I'll watch your back, you can sleep." Jimin showed a smile, lifting his hand all the way to the former's upper arm as he rubbed gently with his thumb. Time passed by carrying quietness, nothing was heard but their breathes that mixed together. None of them tried to close his eyes, Yoongi was biting his lips from time to time not daring to lift his eyes to stare back at Jimin. Maybe he was still feeling uneasy, but it was wrong, he was nervous from the younger's presence. " . . I'm really curious about you, you know?" It was soft, low and serious at the same time, the younger's voice. "I'm not something important. ." Yoongi turned on his back with a sigh, wandering his eyes toward the window. 

 

      "You're not something, you're someone." Sigh skipped the latter, rubbing his body closer when the elder turned on the other side, giving his back to Jimin. Under the blanket the younger's hand moved, sneaking to Yoongi's belly as he pressed his torso against his back. As if something changed the whole world, Yoongi's breath hitched, the time stopped when he tried to feel the warmth, the warmth he longs for. "You know, it was my first time seeing you smile today." Jimin smiled behind the elder's back, leaning closer with his chin resting on the forerm's head. "It's snowing beautifully, isn't it?" He wanted to change the heavy air by saying anything. Hums replied to his echoing voice, eyes reflecting the snowflakes falling on earth. 

 

      "If you're going to be like him in the end . . Pull your hands back." Yoongi was still in his inner world thinking, his eyes felt like crying again when he felt arms tighten around him. He was scared as hell, fearing Jimin would turn out a bad beast. If he wanted, he would have kicked Jimin since the day he met him, but his halo was different, his halo was gold. "No . . I'm not like him, not a bit." The younger's face was serious, his eyebrows furrowed for seconds, chest narrowed from the latter's words, he needs to work hard to show him his real pure self. With a hard gulp, his palm rubbed against the elder's torso, running all the way to his thin cheek as he turned his face near his, leaving half centimeter between them. "I can't be like this with you . ." Yoongi whispered, with butterflies in his stomach he lied. 

 

       Jimin never knew his feelings, never knew why he would lean every time he's near the elder. But the words he heard broke his heart into pieces, why can't he? He asked himself in his inner, blinking suavely. Before he pulls his face back, loud bangs on the door grabbed their attention. The two stared at the door with silence, hearts bursting out of their chests. "Yoongi!!" More bangs, more thuds, the name widened Jimin's eyes, was Jooheon here again to sent the elder to hell? The sound of the loud bangs were like thunder in the rainy sky, it was loud enough for the whole building to crash down. "Yoongi I know you're inside, fucking open the door!" Jooheon yelled his heart out behind the door, clenching Yoongi's heart, the latter started to panic, to quiver beside the younger who witnessed everything. 

 

      Yoongi wasn't wrong, his feelings were right, Jooheon was near, surrounding him with heavy high walls. "No . . No . . I don't want." The elder breathed, sitting on the bed with hands on his ears, they were useless the sounds were still ringing in his ears. "Stay still, he won't get inside." Jimin bit his lower lip, staring at the door with arm pulling the elder closer. They remained steady for minutes, the loud bangs almost split the door into two. "He'll find a way I'm sure!" Yoongi gulped, failure took over him when he tried to calm his hard breaths. "Min Yoongi!!" His name made him tense in his place, with a hard gulp his mind blew. In a second he pulled himself from Jimin's arms as he jumped from his bed, carrying serious expression with tears rolling over and over his cheeks, his hand grabbed a sharp broken glass from the floor. 

 

       "Stop it!!" The younger jerked from his place, rushed behind the elder who was moving toward the main door. "Stop it you idiot!!" Jimin stretched his hand, turning the elder toward him with hands on his shoulders "Don't do this! Drop the glass right now!". Shaking head in front of him made him curse loudly. "Yoongi I said drop it now!!" Jimin bit his lower lip hard, almost cut it with his teeth. "I'm not that easy . . I'm not, leave me alone. Don't stop me when I have the chance!" The elder almost yelled, pushing the younger backward with lack of gentleness. One step and he was stopped again, back pinned against the wall with force. "Move!" He tightened the glass in his hand, even though the bandage protected him but he still felt how sharp it was to cut Jooheon into pieces. 

 

      "I'm not fucking moving from my place until you drop it!! You're not fit for this-" Jimin stopped along with the bangs on the door, the time froze, the air suffocated him all of a sudden. It wasn't true, nothing was real when he felt pain on the back of his left shoulder. ". . I-I told you I'm not so easy." Yoongi couldn't move from his place when he never blinked a second, his hands paralyzed as they dropped with blood covering his white bandage. Even to him, nothing felt real, he didn't know why his eyes never stopped tearing as he burst out crying all of a sudden with hands moving slowly to cover his quivering pink lips. "Y-Yoongi . ." The younger called him, he wished if he didn't because all Yoongi did was sliding down on the ground from his shocking move. 


	8. Stop acting

The moon cried along with him, it covered itself by the clouds that were snowing down cooling the earth. Yoongi sobbed loudly, his hands moved to his hair as he yelled in his place, under Jimin's body that was still standing with hands on the wall from the heart attack he received. Like mountain shredded, he bent down in front of the elder, with cold eyes he stared at him. "You just hurt one part of my body and look at you . . What if you killed him out there?" His brown eyes wandered to the quivering hands, knowing completely that Yoongi never did anything like this. The sound of the glass falling on the ground echoed in their ears, Jimin's small hand moved to his wound as he covered it, pressing on it before he stood slowly. "You can be tough, but you'r way more soft when you're running around." The younger pushed a slight broken smile, turning his feet toward the main door, trying to ignore the sobs that remained steady behind his back. 

His head tilted to the back for seconds, his feet stopped moving, his hands paralyzed beside his body when he felt thin arms sneak around his torso, hands clenched on his fabrics tight. "I-I'm sorry . . I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry! I mean it." Yoongi gulped, his voice was trembling, against the former's warm back he buried his face. Out of everything why did he back hugged the younger to stop him? He wondered, shutting his eyes tight with arms squeezing the latter. Confusion was taking over Jimin, he just got hurt and comfort at the same time, it may not work though. Just before he moves on, Yoongi firmed his arms with low whimpers escaping him. His heart still didn't know why he was holding the younger as if he was going to lose him soon if he pulled his arms back. 

"Stop confusing me, Yoongi." The voice in the entrance of the apartment was deep, serious and scary at the same time. Jimin was raging, boiling blood in his veins was running. Behind the door in front of him, he was still feeling Jooheon waiting outside for Yoongi, his volcano exploded as he clenched his teeth. "I'm fucking mad right now . ." He breathed, resting his hands on the elder's, taking them off of his body but they tugged on his shirt again. "Please . . I'm really sorry! Let's go to the hospital please, I feel horrible. Please." The elder's gaze never cleared, eyes begging him to stop crying, like a broken shoot he fell crumbling to the depth of the ground. Hurting Jimin wasn't expected, he never believed his hands' actions. On the former's back his cheek rested, gulping with loud sobs, they were cutting his breath away. 

"You want to take me to the hospital now?" Chuckles sank needles deeper in Yoongi's heart, his world was falling apart, right in front his eyes. There wasn't a single thing alright for him to live one more day on earth. "I-I don't want to feel b-bad . . I don't know why it feels like I stabbed my own heart instead." If the ceiling wasn't shielding them from the snow, they would have been covered by it, just like Yoongi's illusions, it was already there cooling their bodies all the way to the deepest organs. ". . I was trying to help you, to stop you but you were out of your mind." Nothing felt weird more than Jimin's trembling voice, it was weak unlike every time he speaks with the latter. "I know . ." The elder whispered, breaking the younger's bones with his arms, his thin cheeks were painted red, nose inhaling the new scent. Any second and they would mix together as one if Yoongi pressed himself deeper into the former's warmth. 

Heart dropping along with his arms, his blurry eyes watched the younger tilt his head down with hand twisting the doorknob, leave and stick him in his place shredding until he vanishes. He trailed him like a lost dog, following the scent of his owner, Yoongi grabbed the hem of his shirt as Jimin froze in his place again, facing the thin light that breakthrough the door that opened for one centimeter. No words were spoken, they were useless to their tongues to let out anything, the thin line of light Jimin was facing widened like a path of brightness but it wasn't, it was blocked by a dark figure in front the two. Steps to the back were echoing together, Jooheon was clenching his fists, his deep eyes stared back at no one but the elder who whimpered. "What the fuck is he doing here, Yoongi?" His deep voice sent painful shivers underneath Yoongi's skin, the voice he doesn't want to hear anymore was drowning deeper in his already heavy head. 

"Did he come again to take you away from me? You left me because you found someone else, am I right?" Jooheon was spitting nonsense, fire surrounded him from anger, his eyes were watching nothing but the pale guy behind Jimin. Sinful steps bled Yoongi's heart, reluctantly his feet past the younger with shivers, stretching his hands in front of him all the way to the beast's chest stopping him from approaching any longer. "No you're wrong . ." Yoongi replied, lifting his eyes to meet the taller's with anxiety, crunched feelings mixed in him, guilt and loath. There was no way for him to stop the elder unless he steps forward by himself and deal with him instead of leaning on others. His inner was shouting for fresh air, for calmness and compassion. "Let's talk quietly alright? Don't use force or anything, don't hurt me anymore please." Yoongi was thankful not a single stutter leaked out. 

Jooheon glared at the youngest with furrowed eyebrows before he drops his gaze to his beloved man, he loves him but his violence ruined everything. Yoongi was emotional, he liked everything tender but Jooheon showed him everything the opposite, it just sent him to hell instead of heaven. "Yoongi I still love you, I need you." The younger shut his eyes for seconds, lifting his hands to the former's thin cheeks, watching how he leaned with sparkling tears rolling down his cheeks. Those palms were once warm, were Yoongi's favorite but they are dead now, covered by boneblack that stained his cheeks. "I can't do this anymore, please. You need to move on, I won't come back no matter what you do Jooheon. I erased you from my heart." The elder cursed in his inner. Those words were hurtful, heartbreaking, scratched the deep organs, and to Jooheon they were giving him some courage to wrap his dark wings firmly around Yoongi. 

Jimin was watching with silence, witnessing everything as if he was a part of them. His heart clenched when Yoongi approached, it shredded when he touched Jooheon, it dropped down to the core of earth when he was touched. But why? It's not like they knew each other so much for him to like him yet. If anyone asked if he was Jealous he would answer with a yes right away, it was profusely around him as if he was inside a strong gale filled with jealousy and animosity. "But Yoongi . . How do you want me to move on when you're everything I have?" Jooheon pulled the elder by the waist, closer to his body, gaining whimpers from Yoongi "At least let me kiss you for the last time.". He leaned, tilting his head to capture the soft pink lips between his but he was towed away from him. Jimin would never let such thing happen in front his brown eyes, knowing Yoongi won't like it though. 

His hands pulled the elder away, hiding him behind his stained with blood back. Under the ceiling Yoongi tugged on the back of the younger's shirt with remorse eating him, safeness again wrapped around him. If Jimin didn't pull him back, he never knew what Jooheon was going to do to him more that just a simple kiss. "Now what is it kid?" The man in front of them rolled his eyes, clenched his teeth before his fists got ready to punch the younger. "Can't you see? He's done with you, just leave already. There is no place for you here." Jimin furrowed his eyebrows, his feet moved when Jooneon took his first step, wanted to collide his fist with his face but he was kicked in the chest instead. If wolves fight started between them which it did, Yoongi won't be able to stop any of them. There was a huge lightening between them filled with rage. 

Jimin approached him, clenching his fist before he was taking aback with punch on his cheekbone. "Mind you fucking business, bastard." Jooheon almost yelled, grabbing the latter's collar, splitting his back into two when he pushed him against the wall with lack of gentleness. "This is my business! He's done with you, that's mean I can make him mine now. I'm stealing him away from you." Jimin was doing nothing but boiling Jooheon's blood, his feet kicked the latter again before he approaches him, hovers over him, throws punches at him in rows not caring if he broke any bone in his dark self. The air carried nothing but hard breaths, who would blame it when the two never stopped their fists. With a roll, Jooheon sat on his stomach, blocking him from moving, his strong punches were thrown at Jimin's face and head, attacking him as if he was his baddest enemy on earth. 

"Stop it the both of you!!" Yoongi yelled his heart out all of a sudden, but nothing heard him except his shadows. He tried to stop them but he would be throws aside like a forsaken leaf. Nothing made him worried more than Jimin, his wound was still fresh and open, printing his blood on the floor and walls. Scariness chained him, his heartbeats bruised his chest from pounding heavily. All Yoongi wished for was someone would just knock on his door for some help. Jooheon cried, lifting the younger from the ground all the way to toss him on the wall again. "Jooheon stop it I beg you!" The elder cried for him, approaching him with arms tangling around him, trying to stop his next move when his ears captured loud groans. He was feeling him, feeling Jimin groaning, Yoongi felt everything he received from Jooheon. "Fuck off Yoongi! I have to deal with this piece of shit by myself!" The former pushed Yoongi aside, moving his legs toward the youngest. 

He thought he would be able to win over him for the first time if he kicked him out Yoongi's apartment, but Jimin grabbed him, attacked him with his elbows strongly. "You need to fuck off!" The younger almost yelled. They were pulling each other, tossing each other like pieces of trash, beating until they almost killed each other. "If you only stop bothering him! You're unwanted!!" Jimin let everything out, his voice echoed in every door of the flats in the floor. Dizziness filled his head, there were more than two Jooheons in front of him, from the hard punches on his head and face his ears became deaf, his eyes couldn't concentrate. All he felt was red liquid streaming down their both faces. "STOP IT!!" Yoongi couldn't handle anything any longer, he got between the two, pulling Jimin away with beating heart. People started to peek from their doors with whispers and surprises, if one woman didn't call the police in front of them they would have buried each other in the ground already. 

Jooheon couldn't raise himself from the ground, coughs left him with low groans. Jimin stumbled forward, his body collapsed on the elder with heavy breaths, ears catching nothing but Yoongi's whimpers. "Let's get out of here please, your condition is bad!" The elder bit his lower lip, trying his best to grab the man in his arms firmly. Head spinning, swollen fists, wrenched face, Jimin pulled himself together after all this pain, he pulled himself away from Yoongi all the way to his apartment, grabbing the car keys from the entrance before he leaves the warm place behind. His eyes widened when the police already arrived so fast, he doesn’t want to get into troubles with them though. Involuntary, his hand grabbed Yoongi’s rushing toward the stairs as he ran fast with him, ignoring the calls he heard from the policemen because they were already chased by two. 

Stairs were long, repeating one behind each other, they would skip two and jump on the one after making sure not to fall. Running all the way from 15th floor to the parking lot was way too hard for Jimin, he reached the lowest level of tiredness as he felt his day was the last on earth. Yoongi was looking at his back with broken eyes, he would wipe away his tears with his free hand from time to time, tightening his hand just in case they don’t leave one of them back. The footsteps that was following them was vanishing slowly, it was leaving their ears with every more stair they jumped on. Groans were skipping the younger from time to time, until they reached the black car, he was going to ride when Yoongi refused right away, telling him to set on the seat next to him as he jumped on the driver’s seat. “Listen, I’m going nowhere until I take you to the hospital first.” The elder gulped hand, gripping firmly into the steering wheel before he took a deep breath. 

His pale hands were still trembling, his whole body shivered from the whole incident. His feet hardly pressed on the pedal, driving nervously will cause them nothing but new accident. “. . you ok?” In a sweet soft low tone Jimin asked, stretching his hand to the former’s upper arm as he caressed gently with his thumb, knowing completely how he was trembling worriedly. “I’m not!” Yoongi answered without skipping a beat, his eyes were glued on the street in front of him that was filled with light in the night. “You’re a fucking idiot!” He cursed out loud, hands turning white from the tight grips. When he heard chuckles leaving the man by his side, he gulped hard, face softened quietly. It took forever for them to reach the hospital, Yoongi hardly opened his own door to move to Jimin’s and help him out. With one arm on his shoulder, he wrapped his thin arms around his waist. 

They were lucky when they found a doctor right away, helping Yoongi laying Jimin down on one of the empty beds. “He’s hurt badly! His wound is still open!” The elder tried to speak without a stutter, his voice carried worries along with it. Jimin groaned from pain when he was turned on his right side, shirt sliding down his shoulder. The wind rose up to blew against Yoongi, his face turned to the other side when he couldn’t see anything from what he did to the younger. He’d hear him groan loudly, curse and try to catch his breath. Every single voice escaped Jimin, Yoongi clenched on his shirt tight as if he was the one who’s hurt. It took the younger one hour to cover all his bruises and cuts all over his body, his wound was stitched, no wonder it will leave a scar till he grows old. 

Yoongi approached him slowly, gulping hard until his mouth dried from his saliva. Jimin was still on his side, arms paralyzed lazily beside him like a broken child, his face was barely seen from the red bruises. The elder whimpered again when his eyes wandered toward the former’s torso, few steps forward and he was right beside him, looking down at him with shattered eyes. The brown eyes were staring back at him with silence, they were closing slowly from tiredness but they kept them open to save a picture of the elder in his head. “It’s too late . . go back home, to my flat. I’m sure he left.” Jimin spoke in a low tired tone, watching how the former shook his head in response, he disappeared from his sight when he turned his feet away all the way to the other side of the bed as he sat behind the younger. 

“. . I’m staying here.” Yoongi whispered under his breath, pulling the blanket on the younger’s bare torso with teeth biting his lower lip. “I’ll feel more guilty if I left you here and went back to that dark place.” He continued, closing the blue curtain before he lays behind Jimin, eyes wandering toward his muscles and up to the stitches. He was going under, deeper and deeper. The younger gulped hard, closing his eyes suavely when he felt warm soft skin against his back, his butterflies flied in his stomach the moment the pale hand sneaked on his waist all the way to his tummy. “I’m so sorry.” The elder whispered for the last time, blossom pink color spread on his cheeks, the warmth of the younger’s back burned his cheeks. His lower lip was bitten again, thin pink lines moved all the way to the former’s shoulder, planting soft kisses on the wound he created with heart skipping a beat in his chest. 

Jimin licked the corners of his lips, he felt how the latter’s breathes were changing to something different. “. . What are we?” He whispered, sliding his hand down to rest it on the elder’s, head tilting down as he closed his eyes completely. “Who knows.” Whispers answered him back which made him hum as response. Yoongi rested his forehead back on the bare warm back before he closes his eyes, not caring if anyone opened the curtain and watched them at all as long as he was ok behind Jimin. His heart was calming down whenever he falls deeper into his sleep, these feelings surrounded him drifted him to a different world, unlike what Jooheon pulled him into, it was completely different. Jimin beside him was smirking slightly, after few seconds he followed him in his sleep. 

It was afternoon when he opened his eyes again. Headache was hitting him, body aching him to the point that he can’t move a muscle. A sigh escaped him, his body hardly sat on bed with a curse, he had to sign his own papers and pay. At the edge of the bed his shirt was laying, his arm stretched to grab it with heavy breathes, it took him a full minute to slide in. The soft orange fringe that covered his forehead was lifted to the back, allowing his flawless skin to breath. There were more than 15 missed calls, 30 messages from Minhyuk and Jungkook, they probably went to his flat in the morning and never found him there. With another sigh, his phone was shoved down his jeans pocket, ignoring everything. Yoongi looked more pale in the morning, his skin was white like snow, his pink lips were like blossom flowers, he was beautiful when he’s asleep. 

If they weren’t in the hospital, Jimin would let him sleep for the rest of the day because it was his first time seeing him sleep so peacefully. The day he first saw his face was remembered in his head, the way he was so quiet and looked at him with his cold eyes, even though his eyes captured him in the crowd when he fought with Jooheon for the first time but nothing stayed steady in his head as he forgot him. “. . Yoongi.” The younger called in a low soft tone, shaking him slightly with a smile on his face. Grumbles left the latter, fists rubbing his eyes before he opens them slowly. “Hyung come on, we have to go.” Jimin chuckled in a low tone, watching how the elder hardly opened his eyes and looked around him. His realization was slow to know that they were still on the hospital’s bed. 

The sun evoked them to go outside quietly. Yoongi scratched his head before he moved to Jimin’s side, tangling his arm with his without him noticing anything, he was still sleepy. Lazy sunrays hit their faces, dancing cold wind blew, hitting them with it’s fresh air. Birds chirping on the trees happily, stretching their wings the next second to fly in the sky freely. “How do you feel?” Was the first words Yoongi let out when they left the hospital, walking all the way to the car. “I’m alright.” Jimin had to lie, to stop the elder’s worries that never left his heavy chest a second. In the car they stayed still before Jimin drives, refusing the elder to take his seat, his left arm was resting on his lap as he drove with one hand, letting his shoulder rest. What made him furrow his eyebrows from anger a little, was that he can’t train his left fist until his wound closes firmly and take the third out of his stitches. 

The heater in the car was turned on when Jimin watched how Yoongi rubbed his palms against each other from the cold. Home wasn’t in their minds even though the younger needs to rest, they were quietly sitting staring at the streets, the roads they took together. Right in front of a restaurant where Jimin stopped, he got out first knowing after seconds the elder would do the same. Around a table they sat across each other, Yoongi dropped his gaze down to his lap when Jimin never took his brown eyes off of him. It was what he hated the most, being watched for a long time. Why? Because he thinks people would realize how ugly he looked, which he’s the opposite actually. Yoongi was a beautiful man, with pale milky skin and small figure that made him look even more beautiful. 

He needs to know that people see each other different than they see themselves. They waited for ten minutes before their food arrived, two bowls of rice, soybean soup, kimchi and some vegetables and meat. Yoongi lowered his sleeves awkwardly, rubbing them against each other for seconds. The silver chopsticks settled between Jimin’s fingers before he looks at the former with chin resting on the back of his hand. “Won’t you eat?” He asked, watching how the pale fingertips touched the chopsticks that were resting beside his spoon and bowl of rice. Yoongi never missed the smile appeared on the younger’s face when he shoved some rice in his mouth. “I’m moving out from that apartment soon, do you want to move with me?” Jimin watched the elder’s reaction as he stopped chewing his food, lifting his sleepy eyes to look back at him.

“why . . are you moving?” 

“Well I moved next to you temporally until my other apartment is well done.” The younger smiled slightly, placing a piece of meat on the elder’s rice. The silence that echoed in his ears never gave him answer of what the elder thought about the idea. The rest of the time they ate with dead air, they would stare from time to time for seconds and drop their eyes back to their food. “I used to eat here a lot with my family when I was young.” Jimin wanted to open a conversation, a sensitive one that grabbed the elder’s attention. His sleepy eyes wandered around the place with parted glossy lips. “Over there. It’s me when I was young and my parents.” He watched the pictures that hanged against the wall when the younger pointed at one of the pictures. 

“You look the same, with different hair color.” There it was again, Yoongi’s beautiful smile, showing his small white teeth with him pink gums. Jimin was really something, making him smile when he doesn’t want to, his eyes wanted to watch nothing but those curved lips never close for the rest of the day, with parted lips he stared deeply. Yoongi bend his head down, feeling shy from the brown eyes as he bit his lower lip, scratching the back of his head with his long sleeves. He felt nothing but hand grabbed his, dragging him outside in the open air when they finished their meal. There was a small bridge near the restaurant, overlooking at huge field of grass that was covered with ice now. On the rail Jimin stood, opening his hands to balance himself before he chuckles and looks down at the elder. “I used to walk on this every time we come here. You want to try?” The younger asked, stretching his hand down to Yoongi to get a hold of his hand. 

Hesitantly, the former stretched his pale beautiful hand all the way to grab the younger’s, he climbed behind him as he smiled slightly. Jimin walked backward, still holding the former’s hand guiding him forward as if he showed him the right path to take in his life. “The ice is going to slip our feet.” Yoongi spoke, watching their foot moving together. “If you slipped, I would hold you. It’s ok.” Jimin never knew what his words were doing to the elder, they were moving his heart because he never heard any nice words hits his chest right away. “You’re acting nice again.” The elder curved his lips, teasing the latter before he jumps down on the ground. 

“Hey I’m not acting!” Jimin pouted, leaping down next to the elder before he stares at him again. “and . . you look beautiful when you smile, you know?” He continued, colliding his head with the elder who groaned slightly, turning his head to the other side to hide his red cheeks. “Why are you different?” Yoongi wondered out loud, moving closer to let their bodies rub against each other with head tilting down. “I-I never met people like you before . .” His voice was low and serious. The younger looked at him from the corner of his eyes before he ruffles the elder’s hair “You summoned me maybe, to take you out of this world.”. Smile showed on his face when the elder smiled slightly by his side, liking the idea he just spat. 

“Damn you talk like one of those magical characters in movies. What are you?” Yoongi bit his lower lip, sliding himself in the car’s seat when the door was opened for him, he watched Jimin smile to himself while walking to the other door. Nothing filled his head but how his heart was pounding in his chest. “Do you want to go back home or not yet?” The younger asked, starting the car before he moves the gear on reverse. “You need to go back, to rest.” Yoongi answered him without skipping a beat. The sun hit their faces, his eyes watched how the younger’s eyes looked light brown, his face looked brighter along with his bright hair. The bright hair he once touched, the way it was so soft like a fluffy pillow. Yoongi bend his head back to rest on the seat, his body was a little turned to the younger. All the way to Jimin’s hair he stretched his hand, sinking his fingers on the back of his head gently. 

It was as soft as he once felt them, silky and touchable. “Do you like my hair?” Jimin asked with a smile, turning his head to look at the elder from time to time. If he wasn’t driving, he would have stared at him until the day ends. “I won’t lie . . “ Yoongi spoke in a soft tone “It attracts me with this color, your hair is pretty.” He bit his lower lip, caressing the hair between his fingers with eyes wandering at the younger’s face. Smiley eyes, tiny nose, puffy lips that felts soft, Jimin was like a portrait in his eyes, he just wondered how the winded up like this, how he appeared in his life all of a sudden, how they are going to be like after few more days, because they were learning more and more about each other. “. . Thanks. For everything.” Yoongi pulled his hand back when they reached their building, undone his belt before he gets out of the car. 

To the elevator they headed, side by side they stood when Yoongi pressed on their floor. For some reason he was scared from seeing Jooheon’s face still near his apartment, but relief filled his chest when the door opened, as ever no one was out, all the doors were closed firmly. Jimin stood in front his door, his feet never moved when he froze in his place, it was the first, it rang in his ears for the first time when Yoongi called his name before he enters his own apartment. “Jimin . .” The elder bit his lower lip, watching how the younger turned toward him with wide eyes and parted lips, as if he said something wrong. “I would like to meet . . y-you everyday.” He stuttered when the latter approached him, leaning when he ended his words to press his lips on the pale thin cheek for few seconds. 

“This one for calling my name for the first time.” Jimin smiled widely, rubbing his nape when redness crept on his cheeks. “I’d love to.” He replied to his line, taking one step back before his sleeve was grabbed. Yoongi faced the ground before he leans, closing the distance between them until he pecked the younger’s puffy lips with his. Just before he turned back to hide behind his door from shyness, his hand was grabbed again, pulling him toward the younger’s apartment instead. “You’re having dinner with me tonight.” Jimin almost jumped in his place, pressing on the numbers before he pulls the door open, hiding the both in his apartment with huge smile on his face.


	9. Devil and angel

It was getting closer, each piece that were separated from the other like a huge disassembled puzzle. Jimin’s shadows were calling for Yoongi’s to tangle together. In his apartment they sat side by side awkwardly, since it wasn’t dinner time yet they had nothing to do but stare at the wall in front of them. The empty spaces were filling every day more. The elder bit his lower lip, his head turned to the younger before he gets up, grabbing the younger’s small hands between his before he pulls him up from the couch. For some reason he was tired from his grief, he wanted some happiness between the two before the darkness dictates. “Don’t you want to rest?” those familiar teeth glowed when he smiled widely, eyes looking at the brown glossy ones, ignoring his own reflection though. 

“Not yet.” Jimin smiled back, leaning before he rubs their foreheads together for seconds. To the window of the balcony he was dragged, staring back at the sunset with the elder quietly. It was a beautiful calmness in the living room, the clouds started to crowd, crawling on top of each other like a lost segments connecting together. “I wanted to ask you this the last time it snowed.” Yoongi rested his palms on the cold glass of the balcony with eyes staring at the clouds. “What?” The younger lifted his arm, placing it on the former’s thin shoulder with a slight smile. “What do you want to do when it snows again?” Their eyes met for seconds before Jimin lift his eyes, thinking about something he wanted. “I would like to kiss you when it snows again.” He answered with cherry red color spread in his cheeks. 

Their soft chuckles mixed together, the elder turned slightly, suavely and lightly like a feather. His arms wrapped around the younger’s torso with head resting on his shoulder. Heaven, Yoongi would think of nothing but how he felt in heaven in Jimin’s embrace, warm as ever filled with arouse affection. Low sound escaped him uncontrollably, shocking his own self before he opens his eyes widely. He was enjoying the warm shelter he was locked in, enjoying the feeling that felt like home, the feeling he was waiting for to take all over him. “. . Jimin.” His sweet voice called him, letting it echo in his ears like an unforgettable voice. With a deep heart beats he was pushed slightly, hands crawling to his pale neck pleasantly. “Can you call my name again?” The younger inhaled, moving one hand to brush the vain bright bangs from his unblemished forehead to the back. 

“Jimin. .” Yoongi whispered his name, his sleepy eyelids let his deep eyes move upward to meet the latter’s brown ones. “What is it?” he was asked, biting his lips hoping not to ruin the sweet moment the had. Nervousness was taking over, if he mentioned Jooheon he wondered how Jimin is going to react to it. The smiley eyes were tying his tongue, muting his voice as if he couldn’t speak one letter. “Hmm . . what are we going to do about him?” strength was gathered to ask the younger whose smile faded. It wasn’t the right time to talk about it, all Jimin did was bend down a little, sliding his arms down to the former’s waistband as he lifted him from the ground all of a sudden, turning him to the middle of the living room before he groans in his place. His shoulder ached him, making him shut his eyes tight before he pouted. 

“Are you alright?” Yoongi asked worriedly, moving one hand to the former’s shoulder before his face changed to dull. “I’m fine. . it stings.” The younger sighed, in a second he returned his beautiful smile just to toss the dull expression he watched. Guilt spread in Yoongi, he cursed his hand several time, cursed his own self. “Never mind it. It’s going to heal soon. Now how about we make dinner? Would you like something specific to eat?” Jimin grabbed his hand, pulling him all the way to the kitchen wondering what to make for the both of them. He felt it, the cracked glares the elder was giving him, Yoongi was blaming himself after all. His head was filled with littered unwanted thoughts. To the younger’s questions he shook his head, looking forward for what he was going to cook for the both of them. 

“How about some grilled meat?” Jimin suggested, wandering his eyes toward the elder who smiled slightly agreeing with him. Actually, the latter wasn’t used to eat in the night much, he would cook some ramen or eat plain bread. For some reason his stomach got used to tiny food to digest. Yoongi used to eat one meal a day, or maybe less, just in case he doesn’t gain weight and look fat and ugly. It’s not like he would, he would look cuter and choppier with beautiful cheeks, but he hated it. “Just sit here alright? Tell me where I can find things and I’ll bring them.” He pushed the younger down on the chair gently, sitting him around the table, forcing him to rest at least for few minutes. 

Slight laughs made him smile as he rubbed his nape. “The electronic griller is over there.” Jimin pointed at the kitchen surface where the material was placed over there, it was placed on the table in front of him after few seconds. “Meat is in the refrigerator, and the vegetable as well.” While the elder was taking the ingredients out, he plugged in the griller. His feet carried him all the way to his room all of a sudden, coming back with hair pins before he lifts the elder’s fringe from his forehead all the way to the back, showing his full face which Yoongi hated to be honest. “Finally I can see your face properly, you look cute!” Jimin chuckled, patting the thin cheeks gently, his hands helped the elder who pouted secretly. “. . shut up.” Yoongi said in a low tone, bending his head down before he heard chuckles again. It just made him wonder, does Jimin always laugh and smile like this? The question danced in his head for seconds. 

The clean clear pure water flooded on the sink, showering the vegetables that were embraced in. Side by side they washed them together, wiping the dust away carefully. “Can you forget about him when you’re with me?” Jimin asked in a low tone, eyes focusing on the green lettuce between his small hands. Soft lips touched his cheek as a response, the elder placed some plates on the table before they sat across each other. His eyes watched how the meat was placed down on the warm griller as it made a sound, it was burning slowly, poor thing. The silence that was escaping Yoongi was a pleasure to the younger, as long as he can see the former’s pale face that’s fine to him. “What do you usually do?” Jimin asked out of the blue, placing more meat on the griller. 

“Nothing . . I just stay in my apartment or go out when it’s necessary.” Yoongi wasn’t hesitating of answering him at all, he was getting used to talk to the younger every time, everyday more. Hums filled his ears, he would lift his eyes to stare at the man sitting across him and back to the meet. Tiny bubbles were popping underneath it, even those small babies were reflecting him clearly, he would see himself clearly. Yoongi was sensitive when it comes to reflections though. On the plain white plate that was printed with roses on the edges a piece of meat was placed, the steam was dancing in front of him with the air, disappearing once they reach a high limit. “What about the pills for the apartment? You don’t work right?” Jimin wondered, waiting for one minute to grab a piece of meat. 

The elder shook his head “I do a part time job for that . . sometimes.” He answered, biting a part from the lettuce between his fingers. Nothing was asked anymore, Jimin thought he was annoying enough for the elder to stick his head on the griller on the table, but actually it was the opposite, Yoongi was alright with every question. He was eating like a small child, biting gently on the food with small bites, leaving traces of his small teeth. Quarter of the meat was eaten, he stopped moving his teeth when the younger never took his eyes off of him, it was making him somehow uncomfortable for seconds, but it seemed like Jimin will never kick this habit out of him. “Are you done already? You haven’t eaten anything.” The younger stood from his chair when the elder nodded, right on the chair beside him he sat, lifting some meat and vegetables in his hands to the former’s small parted lips. 

“I don’t like to eat much . .” Yoongi spoke in a low tone, turning his head to the other side. “Why?” he was asked again. Should he tell the younger or not? he asked himself in his inner before he pushes the former’s hand gently. “. . I just don’t.” His answer wasn’t satisfying Jimin, his small hand moved back to his thin lips as he shoved it down his mouth when he gave up. “You’re so thin, Yoongi.” It was the last words between them before he was fed several times a little more. The plates they used sparkled from the cleanliness, their hands worked together to wash them side by side. Yoongi walked around the living room after he dried his hands, touching Jimin’s boxing materials with his fingertips suavely. It all reminded him of Jooheon which he hated. For some reason he wanted everything to turn to the opposite side, he wanted Jimin to fill his head more. 

The younger was taking two cans of beer when Yoongi stepped in his warm neat bedroom. The familiar long mirror, the one taking over the wall, it was wide and big. It just made the elder wonder how someone can keep this in their home, maybe because he’s not a human like others he doesn’t see this normal. Beside it he stood, touching the clean glass gently, watching how his pale hand reflected, copying him as ever. He would wave to it, knocking with his nails and sigh. Jimin who had no clue about anything stood by the door, his head tilted to the side, resting it on the door border. His smiles never left his face while watching the elder, after one minute he approached, wrapping his arms around the elder’s waist. Yoongi bend his head down right away when he was moved in front of the mirror by mistake. 

“Want some beer?” Jimin asked, lifting one hand to give a bottle to the elder who turned toward him right away. The can of beer was taken away by his pale hand. On bed he sat beside the younger quietly, drinking sip by sip after few seconds. Jimin stretched his legs, his left shoulder touched the head of the bed slowly, just in case he doesn’t press on his stitches. The room was filled with warmth, unlike Yoongi’s that was forsaken, messy and cold. “Have you decided about what I told you before? About moving with me.” The younger turned his head toward Yoongi, stretching one hand to his thin shoulders as he pulled him a little closer. “Jimin about this . .” The elder bit his lower lip, his fingertips were rubbing against the can that was made of steel “I don’t know . . I would like to but I don’t think I can now. Maybe later on.”. There weren’t any rejections or refusing to this which he was glad the younger understood. 

“When you are ready just tell me.” Jimin swallowed the last drop before he places the empty can on the nightstand by his side along with the elder’s who handed it to him. On his side he laid, sighing loudly when his muscles stretched beneath his skin, resting from the long day. “Does it hurt?” The elder moved his hand to the former’s shoulder, trying to peek trough his shirt to steal a glance at the closed wound. “Nah . .” Jimin breathed, his body rubbed against the sheets closer to Yoongi. “Can’t you stay here?” He spoke in a low tone, resting one arm on the latter’s stretched legs. Rejection wasn’t in Yoongi’s mind, his body slid down next to the younger with a turn to face him. “I can.” He smiled slightly, never knew how Jimin watched him with sparkling eyes when he smiles as if he watched a treasure of diamonds. 

Their hands touched, pinky fingers tangling together, eyes closing as they fell deep in their sleep. The next morning Yoongi was awoke by low whispers ringing in his ears, it wasn’t just his ears but Jimin’s too. When he shifted on the sheets the younger did as well, he was holding the elder in his arms, chest pressed against his back like two bricks. All his brown eyes watched was his two friends in his room, standing by each other, talking in a low tone. “What the hell . .” Jimin breathed, pulling his arms back gently before he ruffles his hair and scratches his head. “Why do you swear first thing in the morning?” Minhyuk grabbed Jungkook’s arm before they leave the room to the living room. The younger looked at his side, Yoongi was drowning back in his sleep, his face was buried under the blanket, nothing was seen but his bright hair stretching on the pillow. 

His bare feet touched the cold floor before he got up with a yawn. A cup of tea was made after he washed his face and brushed his teeth. Eyes were on him, digging holes in his face the moment he sat on the couch. “He’s sleeping on your bed now?” Jungkook spoke in a low tone. Nothing replied to his words but the sound of the sips Jimin was swallowing down his throat. “I think you should knock the door from now on.” The former rolled his eyes before he sighs. “Stop staring at me I’m not going to the ring today.” He continued, wandering his eyes toward the elder who came out from his room with hand rubbing his eye. “Why? You don’t usually miss one. What’s getting into you these days seriously?” Minhyuk rolled his eyes, his arms crossed against his chest with a deep breath. 

Yoongi sat by Jimin’s side, fingers wrapping around the cup he was handed. “I just don’t feel like it today, that’s all.” His bottom lip was bitten when he heard the man’s by his side words, it was making him quiver slightly in his place, because he was the only reason for Jimin to stay at home instead of going to the match. Not a single word left any of them about him being hurt in his shoulder which he can’t move his left hand strongly, securing his wound from opening. “Alright just screw that for now. Jimin, they are holding a party for you.” Jungkook started. It just surprised Jimin for some reason. “For me?” the latter repeated “Why for me?”. 

“Well, you’ve never lost a match have you noticed this. High people are coming to meet you as well, other wrestlers too.” 

“But I ran away from some.” Jimin sighed. 

“That doesn’t count though. I don’t know actually it’s for you.” Jungkook sat on the carpet, his legs were crossed with eyes on his friend. “And by the way . . Your apartment is done, you can move tomorrow.”. Yoongi was listening quietly, lifting the cup to his mouth from time to time to drink some tea. Why would Jimin move? He wanted to ask, he wanted him to stay in the next door by his side. “I have to go.” Instead of everything, the elder whispered in the latter’s ears, getting on his feet all the way to the entrance of the apartment. Just as he expected, his sleeve was grabbed before he turns back at the younger. “Are you really not moving with me?” Jimin asked in a low tone, closing the distance between them as he left inches between their faces. “I need some time to think about that, Jimin.” Yoongi tried to fake a smile, his eyes met the younger’s for seconds. Tender kiss was planted on his pale thin cheek, his palm touched the side of Jimin’s orange hair. “Alright . . well do you want to accompany me to that party tonight?” He stood still for seconds thinking about it before he nods slightly. 

“I’ll see you at 7 then.” The younger smiled brightly, sticking his head out from his door to watch the elder hide behind his own door safely. All the way back to his friends he threw himself at them, habits never changed though. “He’s cute, isn’t he?” He thought out loud, looking back at them watching him with raised eyebrows. “Hyung, do you like him?” Jungkook asked without hesitation, what answered him was a crazy smile his friend showed. “Stop smiling like this, dammit.” The youngest rolled his eyes. 

The world started to change around Jimin, he was smiling to himself when Yoongi crosses his mind, he would blow like spring breeze with the smell of fresh new bloomed flowers. The beginning of their story was going well. In front his closet he stood, facing his clothes even though they were the same suits hanging one beside the other. Black, dark blue or dark brown. His shirts were all white and black pressed against each other. “This one or this one?” Jimin lifted two color of blazers in his hands, black and brown, asking their friends or choose for him something fits him more. “I prefer the brown one.” Mihyuk rubbed his chin.

“No the black one.” Jungkook argued. 

“I thought about the brown too.” Jimin pouted slightly, he stared at the two with a sigh. In the end he picked the dark brown one and place it aside. The time passed way too slowly to him, he watched TV, had lunch with his friends and played some video games. Under the streaming hot water, he stood, avoiding one shoulder from it though. Perfumed shower gel spread on his body, it smelled like strawberry and cherry at the same time. His hair was dried perfectly; the bright fringe was lifted to the back as he did his hair in front of the mirror. When he looked at the time, it was 6:30 PM, he has got thirty minutes to get ready and take Yoongi from his apartment. “Hyung . . What is this?” Jungkook gulped, approaching the latter who was still shirtless with a towel around his waist. 

When he wanted to touch the it, his hand was slapped gently. Jimin almost forgot about the stitches as he sighed. “What happened? Is this the reason why you couldn’t go to the match today?” The younger asked, shocked from his friend, biting the inside of his lips. “What are you hiding-

“I’m not hiding anything!” The latter almost yelled in a serious tone, cutting the younger with eyes blinking for seconds before he grabs his pants. His arms slid down his sleeves carefully, totally aware of the big eyes staring back at him with broken expression. “Something ridiculous happened that’s all.” Jimin answered in a low tone, he looked at his reflection one last time. Cologne sprayed on the sides of his neck and blazer. The small hands ruffled the dark hair of his friend, apologizing in his inner. Jimin left his apartment with head turned toward Yoongi’s door, wasn’t he ready yet? He wondered before he turns his feet away from his friends, leaving them confused in their place when he pressed the bottoms on the door before he pulls it open. 

Right in front of him the moment he entered was Yoongi sitting on the entrance floor, shoving his feet in his black shoes. Breath hitched, eyes never blinked when he watched how the elder was breathtaking. His hair was well done to the side showing one eyebrow and a little of his pale forehead, his face was shinning like the morning sun in the sky, his black suit fit his small figure perfectly. But that was all what Jimin thought. Yoongi’s thoughts were different, he didn’t know how he looked, didn’t know how his hair turned out like, all he thought about was how ugly he looked at that moment. In front the younger he stood, facing him with eyes looking at somewhere else instead of the brown ones. 

“Shall we go?” The younger asked sweetly, lifting one hand to get ahold of the long thin fingers. Back to the black car the four went together. On the back seat they sat again, fingers messily intertwined in the space between them. Yoongi was avoiding the younger’s gaze until they reached, not knowing if he was shy or embarrassed, or afraid at the same time. The hall had a huge door, already opened for the guests to enter. It was filled with people, wrestlers Jimin faced before and some others he hadn’t, presidents of boxing academies and others. The lights were yellow, lightening the place at the same time reflecting on the marbled clean floor. Minhyuk and Jungkook were used to such occasions, they would talk to people freely when they asked about Jimin though.

Yoongi was standing by Jimin’s side the whole time, he would be pulled by the waist closer from time to time. “Oh Park Jimin!” One of the presidents approached him, stretching his hand to shake his hand with the man with huge smile. “It’s good to see you in person. I always watch your fights, you’re strong. My trainers always talk good about you.” He was speaking freely, patting Jimin’s arm after seconds. “Thank you so much, Sir.” The younger bowed politely. Lots of words were thrown at him, all he said was thank you and shakes their hands. Yoongi would smile back shyly at people when they smile at him since he was by the former’s side. The sound of music was ringing in their ears, it was a bit low and relaxing at the same time. “This is boring right?” The younger asked the elder who didn’t know actually if it was or not. 

“Oh damn . . It’s good to see you looking perfect in such occasions, Yoongi.” It was around again, like moving shadows in the daylight. The sound of a beast echoed in the elder’s ears whose heart dropped to his stomach all of a second. Jooheon was totally forgotten to be seen in such parties. If anything was included to Jimin, Jooheon would be there for sure. The younger shut his eyes for seconds before he tried to pull Yoongi closer to his body. It was a washout, the elder was pulled toward no one but Jooheon instead, arms around his waist dragging him away from the warmth that surrounded him. “The great Park Jimin, good to meet you.” No one, Jimin doesn’t want to meet anymore people. His eyes wandered toward the two as his smile vanished from his face. “I’m sorry, excuse me!” Jimin tried to bow hastily, feet rushing toward Yoongi and Joohead as he grabbed the elder’s wrist. 

“Let this night be quiet, Jimin. I don’t want to fight with you now.” The older rolled his eyes, his fingers wrapped around the pale other wrist, pulling him back to his chest. Yoongi cursed in his inner, he was thrown between their hands like a dirty ball. Rage was consisting in him, fire with flames when the two were killing each other with their glares. If he wasn’t scared he would be lying, seeing Jooheon again stabbed his heart, his feet sank in the ground to the depth of earth. He was slipping in the end of his life already. “Well I think I should tell you this instead, Jooheon. Don’t you think?” Jimin sighed, his hand tightened around the pale wrist as he turned his feet away when the hall had a dim light, Yoongi was dragged with him, walking through the crowd to the main door but it was a fail again. 

“I’m serious, you asshole. Let him go before I break your bones in front of the crowd.” Jooheon furrowed his eyebrows, his teeth clenched as he dragged the poor beautiful boy away from Jimin, back all the way under the lights they were on one spot, dancing circle. “Fuck you!” The youngest cursed Jooheon under his breath, eyes focused on the elder whose face was a mess, filled with fear and worries. Yoongi was pulling his wrist back, struggled when his chest touched the latter in front of the others’ eyes. “Jooheon let me go. .” He spoke in a low angry tone, trying to push the arms around his waist away. “Why? I don’t want you leave me again. You’re coming home with me after this.” The younger leaned his head, resting his cheek against the elder’s pale one as he moved his legs to match the other pairs around them. “You refused to come with me before and now you’re coming with him? Why Yoongi? What’s the difference between me and him?” Everything. Yoongi wanted to yell at him and tell him everything is different. 

He was switched in a blink of an eye, instead of a cage that made of steel he was locked in the warm strong arms again. Jimin pulled him back to him again, moving in circles with hand on the former’s waist and the other holding his hand. “You ok?” He asked, watching how the elder’s face softened when their eyes met as they forgot about everything for seconds. If I knew he’d be here I’d have never came.” Yoongi spoke in a low tone. It was a pleasure feeling when he was pulled closer to the younger’s body, arms moving involuntary to the former’s shoulders as he blew a breath. “I forgot about him. .” Jimin almost whispered, trying his best to avoid the other’s beside them to switch their partners and take Yoongi away from him. “Just act as if you’re ok alright? Don’t show him how scared you are around him.” The younger tried to sooth him for some reason even though nothing happened. 

“Shit!” Jimin cursed when he was taken right in front of his eyes, back to Jooheon’s arms as he smiled awkwardly and fakery to the girl who grabbed him. The brown lenses trailed them, his chest was burning as he kept cursing, he would notice the elder push Jooheon’s arms away and tried to leave. Yoongi on the other side cursed everything around him, burned everything in his inner as he wanted to tear himself apart. “Yoongi I still didn’t break up with you, you know? That means I still can have you back in my arms.” The younger was whispering to the elder, colliding their foreheads from time to time as he leaned to plant soft kisses on his temple and down his face. “Stop it!!” Yoongi clenched his teeth, warmth filled the back of his eyeballs for seconds. He shouldn’t be there; his stars didn’t shine all of a sudden as he crumbled slowly. 

Just like a sad piano playing all alone, he was crying in his inner, cursing every little part in Jooheon. “Why don’t you stop that bastard as well? Why do you just stop me when I have the rights to touch you?” The younger nuzzled on the side of his head, causing him to close his eyes and turn his head to the side with low whimpers, fingers tugging on his fabrics. Why was he chained between a devil and angel? Yoongi never found an answer to that. “You don’t have the rights! It’s my body and I can choose who have the rights to touch me!” The elder bit his lower lip hardly, his hands pushed the younger one last time before he was pulled in Jimin’s arms again. If Jooheon doesn’t know the meaning of difference he should put himself in Yoongi’s shoes, the way he was moving with the both of them made him conscious with his true feelings. 

Like light in his veins, Jimin was bright with gold halo. His warm arms were slipping Yoongi to the deep warmth, deep love and comfort. With slight touches, he was sending him to the cloud freely. “I want to leave. .” Yoongi whispered, gulping hard to stop his tears that were hanging in his eyes, heart wasn’t settling in his chest, pounding crazily from fear and pleasure at the same time. Jimin’s eyes were on Jooheon when he was moving to the back slowly, lifting his hands to the elder’s face as he felt him leaning on his touches with closed eyes. He knew Yoongi was bleeding till he couldn’t breath, he wanted to take him out to the open air and bring him back to life again. It was closing, inch by inch, the distance between them. Jimin didn’t care if he was in the middle of the crowd, didn’t care about the eyes that were glued on him since he stepped inside the hall. 

“Hold me . .” He whispered to the elder, eyes steady on Jooheon who was looking back at him with death glares. Without hesitation, Yoongi wrapped his arms around the former’s neck, drowning himself deeper into the younger’s world as he forgot about his surroundings all of sudden, nothing was clear when their noses touched suavely, butterflies in their stomachs were flying. With slight tilt of heads, they closed the unwanted distance between them as their lips pressed against each other. Soft layers of skin, filled with tiny wrinkles, sent them out of this world. Jimin’s eyebrows relaxed, his eyes gave up on watching Jooheon’s raging in his place as he shut his eyelids down to feel the soft lips against his. Those familiar pale hands were climbing on the back of his head, Yoongi was feeling Jimin’s hair between his fingers as he let go to catch his breath from the pure gentle kiss. 

The younger wanted him, wanted Yoongi. Wanted all of him, his soul, his heart, his body, everything. Between people they leaned again with parted lips, capturing each other as they moved in slow motion. Jimin pulled him by the waist, their lips were moving against each other in a pure gentle way filled with weird feelings that crept inside the both of them. “. . Let’s go.” The younger whispered between their kiss, pulling back even though he doesn’t want to, taking his arms back was squeezing him. His hand slid down to the former’s as he dragged him through the people, ignoring his name when it was called several times. To the main door he walked, not trying to look back and face Jooheon again, to keep the elder safe.


	10. To no one but you

“Leave me alone!!” Yoongi yelled, hands tossing whatever was touching him, flicking the wind that blew against him away. In the streets that was filled with lights in the night like huge shining stars in the sky he rushed his feet, the back of his hand was covering his trampling lips as he felt his precious warm tears rolling down his face, printing a shallow river all the way down to the corner of his pink lips. He was hearing everything, the voice calling him from behind, it was doing nothing but moving his feet further and further away. Every single thing was nebulous in his eyes, he would stumble from the broken bricks on the streets, chock in his hard breathes and sniff the outside distressing air. “Yoongi!” Jimin was running behind him, trying to stop him from running away, but the elder was beaten up badly, fangs nibbling in his heart as he gulped hard one last time. 

“Yoongi, please.” The younger stretched his hand, fingers wrapping around the former’s arm as he stopped him for seconds. “I want to be alone, Jimin. Give some space I beg you, I want to breath.” Yoongi shut his eyes tight, shoving the former’s hand away from him as he moved his feet again. Jooheon and Jimin just gave him headaches, he wanted to free himself from them for one whole day at least even if he longs for the youngest warmth. All the way to their apartments they were chasing each other, Jimin sighed loudly when he couldn’t call the elder one last time before he rushed inside his apartment with sobs escaping him. With a loud curse, the younger ruffled his own hair angrily, toward his door he walked, locking himself in his apartment with some regrets. 

Yoongi sniffed, with his shoes he ran toward his bedroom, shutting the door strongly before he locked it with his keys. Heavy breaths in the air unsatisfying the messy room that suffocated him even more. Pillows were thrown in the room, bed sheets all messed up from his hands that were working on them. Under the ceiling he yelled his heart out as he crumbled with his knees that touched the ground. “J-Just leave me alone!!” Yoongi yelled to the air that surrounded him, wishing for the both to disappear from his life completely. More and more, he was slipping. He tripped over himself, fists clenching on his shirt that covered his pale chest, his lungs were going to lift his body from his loud cries. How is he going to let his feelings out without shouting his heart out? It was strangling him, his feelings that never wanted to leave his heart to anybody.

The tie that was around his shirt collar loosed, his shirt buttons were undone hastily. Yoongi’s small teeth clenched, his loud cries turned into low roars that escaped his rising and falling chest. The sleepy dark eyes were turning cold, pale palms rubbing against the floor as he crawled closer, closer and closer toward the broken glass that was still filling his room’s floor. He was tired, done with everything as he cooled his sobs down. Out of all people why was he the one suffering alone in his life, he doesn’t deserve all of this. The glass was sharp as the sword, with a deep inhale he lifted is slowly, trembling hands steady with flooding tears that never tried to stop for half a second to relax his eyes. If only he can become stronger, if only he can face others his life would be much better, but Yoongi, Yoongi was afraid, he was scared from every tiny thing. 

It touched his shirt, the edge of the glass as he whimpered loudly. It cut the tiny threads that were sewed together as it made a hole all the way to his pale chest. Loud groan filled the room when he sank it deeper into his skin as he scratched himself down his chest. It was killing, it was hurting, it was aching him so much that he couldn’t groan any more with mouth wide open. If that what he felt why didn’t he scratched himself with the glass he always breaks? Why didn’t he hurt himself instead of letting others hurt him? Yoongi was cursing himself. His breathes heaved when he let the glass falls down on the floor. All his eyes captured was the blood drops that collided with the ground, spreading in circles like small ponds. It stained in his white shirt, fresh and red, the fluid that runs underneath his skin. 

“Don’t do this. .” Yoongi lifted his head, it was turned left and right when he heard the familiar voice talking around him. “Yoongi.” The voice was calling him, talking to him but he couldn’t see anything. Yoongi was imagining things, Jimin’s voice he heard was ringing in his ears as if he was around him, holding his hand, stopping him from hurting himself any more. It was an illusion again, but after all the elder knew Jimin was worried about him on the other side. If he knew what he was doing he would get upset, his beautiful happy face would turn upside down because of him. Jimin, Jimin again and again, he was dancing in his head without a single stop. Both hands grabbed his head as he yelled again, forehead touching the ground when he suddenly felt the sharp pain he caused on his chest. 

“. . Jimin” Yoongi called him in a low tone, his hand slipped down his head as he looked around him in awe. What he realized was the needs, the warm embrace he craved all of a sudden. On his feet he stood, rubbing his feet against the floor as he crawled toward the door of his room with winces. He was groaning lowly all the way to the main door, rushes were filling him, if he didn’t reach Jimin any second soon insanity would take over him whole. Drifting all alone, waiting for the younger to unfold the last page of him, wondering when the time is going to come. Yoongi didn’t care, he didn’t care if he unlocked someone’s else apartment, didn’t care if he barged in, all his eyes wanted to capture was Jimin’s face in front of him, wrapping his arms around him and drown in him. 

Jimin was sitting at the edge of the bed when he heard his door open and close, his phone was placed on the wrinkled sheets before he turns his head toward the living room. Just like lion’s feet, Yoongi walked inside without a single sound, standing near the wall with eyes wandering from the ground all the way to meet the younger’s that was wide open looking back at him with shock. He watched him stand from his bed and crawl toward him slowly. “D-Don’t come any closer.” Yoongi spoke in trembling tone, stretching his hand in front of him as he stopped the younger’s movement. “Y-Yoongi . .” Jimin felt his heart burst out of his chest when his eyes dropped to the elder’s shirt that dyed with his blood. “Don’t talk . . J-Just stand there and don’t move.” The elder pleaded, his voice was soft with slight feet approaching the younger, step by step. The path was clear in front of him, it was wide enough for him to run his heart out to Jimin and tangle with him in his world. 

Jimin stayed in his place, standing as if someone froze him from moving, he waited for the elder to keep half a meter between them. “J-Jimin you . . y-you were calling me and I couldn’t understand myself.” The elder shut his eyes tight for seconds, his quivering hands ran through his hair as he messed it. “Don’t move . .” He repeated when the younger lifted his arms few centimeters. Deeply, he studied Jimin’s eyes. When he finally reached him, his pale hands stretched, looking their shelter on the former’s chest with silence. The familiar beautiful warmth, soothing, sedative chest he wanted to lean on, to rest his head against it and close his eyes eternally. It was a dream, a pleasant one where he watched the color of the ocean clearly when he moved his hands all the way to Jimin’s back as he leaned, resting his head on the former’s shoulder as he closed his eyes tight. Familiar heat spread behind his eyeballs, feeling his tears rolling down his eyes on the crook of Jimin’s neck. 

“This is it . .” Yoongi breathed, hands trailing to the latter’s upper back as he clenching on his shirt. Nothing made him feel better but the younger’s arms wrap around him, snuggling him back, deeper into his chest as he felt weight on his head. “. . your embrace.” He breathed again, nuzzling his nose on the soft neck slightly before he lifts his head, eyes lifted to meet the smiley ones again. “Stay still.” Yoongi whispered, he was alone in a frozen place, he was the only moving thing in an iced picture. Hands pulling themselves back, lifted all the way up to Jimin’s face as they settled there, resting blankly on the soft dark skin. His pink quivering lips were parted, sucking on some air before he holds his breath. Inch by inch he was leaning till his lips touched with Jimin’s slightly. When his arms wrapped around the younger’s neck, he pressed himself more, nose touching Jimin’s cheek. 

He felt nothing but the younger’s puffy lips part against his, between them his upper lip was locked as they kissed slowly. In seconds they moved them in sync, Jimin pulled him closer by the waist, tilting his head to the other side to deepen their sweet kiss. Yoongi kissed him first for the second time now, it was confusing him, wondering in which level they were in already. Jimin lost himself, the way Yoongi tasted was beautiful and addictive. His hands climbed all the way to the back of the elder’s head as he pulled back to catch his breath, in a second they collided their lips with a passionate kiss filled with mixed feelings. Winter stopped growing colder as it turned warm around them, low sweet sounds, heavy breaths were escaping the two. Low whimper skipped the elder when his lower lips was shoved in Jimin’s mouth, between his teeth he bit and sucked gently. 

Yoongi had nothing to do but to let the new touches fill his body, his pale fingers tangled with the silky orange hair as he shoved Jimin’s upper puffy lips in his warm mouth. It was different, Jimin’s kisses were different than Jooheon’s, his puffy lips had meaning against the elder’s lips, they were filled with love that crept out only for Yoongi. The elder was feeling them, it just made his heart ache how he met him this late, even though the two were still young but Yoongi wanted him by his side since he was born. The way he was held back was ineffable. His breath hitched when he was turned between their kiss, his legs moved backward until he felt the sheets underneath his back. They collided with heads tilting to the other side with deep kisses. Yoongi pulled back, heavy breaths in the narrow space between them mixed with Jimin’s. 

“I’m going to ask you this for the last time,” The younger finally spoke, lowering his head to plant kissed on the pale neck. The latter’s breathes started to change as he threw his head to the back with closed eyes, sinful tears remaining steady with quietness. “What are we?” Jimin asked against Yoongi’s neck, he shoved skin in his mouth as he sucked some hickeys gently. With butterflies in their stomachs, the elder gulped hard, fingers tightening on the former’s hair as he tried to breath. “ . . I-I don’t know.” The elder whispered, his lower swollen lip was bitten as he turned his head to the side. “What do you want us to be?” Jimin pulled back, eyes glued on the elder’s sleepy ones with cold expression on his face. The former was a heavy breathing mess under him, with every blink he watched tears rolling down the sides of his head. 

“I don’t know-“ 

“Yoongi!!” The younger yelled his name all of a sudden, startling the elder who cursed in his inner. 

“I don’t know! Jimin, I don’t know anything!” low sob escaped Yoongi, his hands slid down to his face as he buried it behind them. The younger got off of him, he sat beside him with hand running through his hair. If only Yoongi stopped confusing him he would be much better. “I-I just . . I just don’t want you to leave me . . I want to be with you. Jimin when I’m in your embrace I feel safe . . I-I feel l-like I belong t-there.” Stutters were escaping the elder, his back lifted from the sheets as he sat by the latter side, head leaning to rest on the former’s shoulder. “Can I call you my boyfriend then?” Jimin was straight, he spoke without skipping a beat, arms wrapping around the elder who leaned into the feelings around him. “Call me whatever you want . . as long as you are going to keep me by your side.” The elder tossed his tears away, all he tried to do was to push a slight smile to the younger who planted a soft kiss on his head. 

“Why did you do this to yourself?” Jimin asked, fingers crawling on Yoongi’s white shirt before he unbutton the small white circles. Nothing replied to him but low sniffs, Yoongi tied his tongue with head bending down. “You can talk to me . . I’m your boyfriend as well, let’s open up to each other, Yoongi.” The younger got on his feet, the familiar white box of the first aid-kit was placed on bed when he left the room and came back with it. ‘Boyfriend’ The word just turned a light on Yoongi’s chest, being Jimin’s boyfriend would be the best thing ever happened to him. Yoongi believed the younger would be different, would be nothing like Jooheon at all, he believed he can trust him even if not now but later on, Jimin was clear like water in his eyes. Back on the sheets he was laid, fists gripping tight when he felt rag cleaning his wound carefully. 

Jimin was grateful Yoongi didn’t scratch himself deeply. “. . don’t hurt yourself.” Whispered words opened the former’s eyes, they wandered toward Jimin’s blank face with hard gulps. “please . . for me.” Hums replied to him. After he treated Yoongi’s wound he laid beside the elder, eyes on the ceiling with silence. Weight on his chest made him turn on his side with the elder who rested his head on the younger’s shoulder, legs tangling, arms around each other as they spent another night snuggling on bed. Since Jimin appeared on Yoongi life and his sleeping schedule kind of went back to normal, he would sleep peacefully till the morning. When he opened his eyes for the new day, his arms and legs stretched, cold hitting his bare feet when the warm blanket gave up on covering him. 

His hazy gaze was watching nothing but moving figure in the room. Yoongi shifted on his side before he sleeps 5 minutes more and rub his eyes. On bed he sat slowly, eyes hurting him from the tears that leaked out, chest sore from his own wrenches. Boxes surrounded the bed, they were filled with different things, some of them were holding some clothes, the others had some papers, books and other stationary. On the night stand by his side there was lying a photos album, it was blue with a small baby on the front cover. He looked adorable, puffy lips, puffy red cheeks and the same smiley eyes. Yoongi never stopped his pale hands from stretching to grab it as he smiled slightly, Jimin looked cute when he was young. The first page was flipped carefully, it was Jimin again sitting on a chair between what it seemed to the elder, his parents. 

The one beside it was him on his grandmother’s lap looking up at her with his beautiful smile. Jimin was a happy boy since he was young, filled with beauty and charms. There were pictures when Jimin was still a baby where he was wrapped with cute swaddles. Yoongi was smiling, his lips would curve more and more with each picture. Right by his side, he felt warmth, Jimin’s body sat beside him joining him. “Are you laughing at me?” The younger chuckled sweetly, leaning to plant soft kisses on the elder’s shoulder before he wanders his eyes on the album. “You look cute.” Yoongi laughed slightly, his pale fingers flipped the next page. There was Jimin again, in a tub filled with bubbles and rubber duck on his head, the other one was him naked with that same smile. “Damn this is so embarrassing, stop looking at these.” The younger flipped the next page, smile fading from his face when the next pictures were all with his grandmother, the days where he was left with her when his parents no longer wanted him. 

Yoongi closed the album when he captured the last picture, it was placed in one of the boxes when Jimin stretched his hand to grab it from his pale hands. Slight pouts left him, he didn’t like how the younger was packing his stuff to leave his apartment. “Do you really have to go?” Yoongi spoke in a low tone, getting on his feet before he bends down behind the younger, arms sneaking around his torso as he closed his eyes when his head rested on his shoulder. Jimin hummed, his thumbs caressed the former’s arms for few seconds before they released each other. He stopped everything when he pulled the elder to the dining table to have breakfast together. It was as ever, Yoongi eating a little like kids where Jimin had to feed him more and more. 

When Minhyuk and Jungkook arrived, Jimin carried the boxes one by one all the way down to the car and came back to his apartment for the next one. Yoongi was helpful, he helped him but Jimin would refuse from time to time and pin him down on the couch until they are done. Against the wall he leaned, finger intertwined with Jimin’s, the pout on his face was pecked sweetly. “I’d be so glad if you agreed to move with me.” The younger curved the corner of his lips, hands on his face pulled him closer into a pure kiss before he chuckles slightly and wrap his arms around the elder tightly as if they are not going to see each other again. “Let me know once reach there.” Yoongi let go of him, making sure to plant a kiss on his cheek before he pulls himself back. “Alright.” Jimin grabbed his last bag, his hand never let go of the elder’s until he left his apartment. 

Yoongi sighed deeply, his thin body was thrown on his couch before he scratches his head. No more meeting in the balcony, that was the only thing that crossed his mind. “Holy shit!” he jerked from his place, grabbing his coat before he headed toward the door, going out in the cold air for one thing, Jimin’s mug, he wanted to get him a new one instead of the one slipped from his hand. The weather made him blew some warm breath on his palms to warm his limbs, his footprints were on the ice that covered the streets whenever he took one step forward. Yoongi bit his lower lip, not knowing how the younger’s taste was like, what if he didn’t like what he’ll get? He wondered. They were all aligned in front of him on a shelf in a store. Different sizes, different colors and shapes that made him think in his place a little bit before he grabs a black mug that caught his eyes with cute white rabbit on the side, he can be cute sometimes. 

It was wrapped in a white box with blue gift’s wrap he chose. His phone vibrated in his pocket as he pulled it out to see a new message from ‘My lovely Jimie’ telling him that he was already on his new comfy bed in his new apartment. The name makes him chuckle with reddish cheeks under the sky that was covered with clouds. Since he was already out, he walked down the streets with light in his chest, bought him few things with slight smiles on his face. Yoongi never felt how his heavy chest lightened after the previous night, how he breathed fresh air for the first time. Happiness was knocking on his doors hastily, joy and fun was creeping from underneath the narrow space under the doors. Birds were singing on the trees that were nothing but thin shoots without any leaves to cover them, he walked with quietness, without a sound like a red petal flying all alone in the cold breeze. 

His bangs were brushed to the back when it tangled with the blowing breeze, hands shoved in his coat’s pockets to avoid the cold from freezing his already red cold limbs. His feet never stopped from wandering around like red riding hood in the woods, he would window shop and look outside from the glass at things that caught his eyes. Building and skyscrapers made him wonder where was Jimin’s new apartment. Was it far, miles away from him or not? Yoongi asked himself, 

Jimin on the other side was unpacking his things in his apartment, it was much bigger than the one he was in. It had two levels, with huge living room and one bedroom, kitchen and extra rooms. On one of the shelves in his room he placed his album that was between Yoongi’s hands hours ago, books were pressed beside it before he closes the box and moves to the other one. “Hyung . .” Jungkook called in a low tone, his legs crossed on the floor as he wandered his eyes toward his friend who was folding some shirt before he placed them down on his closet neatly. “What is it?” Jimin answered, never knew how the younger had a broken expression on his face because of the stitches on his shoulder. “I’m worried about you.” Jungkook rubbed his nape with head bending down. Right in front of him Jimin crossed his legs, hand on his head before he smacks him joyfully. 

“Why are you worried about me?” 

“Well your shoulder. I don’t know what happened exactly and I know you are fine now but . . you are going through something these day, am I right?” The younger pouted slightly, hands on his friend’s knees as they talked freely with each other. 

“No you’re wrong. I’m not going through anything lately. Well maybe I’m thinking about few things but I’m fine kookie, don’t worry about me. And about this,” Jimin slid his shirt down his shoulder, exposing his stitches to the younger who showed some painful look on his face “I’m going to the hospital today to remove these threads. It healed.” Smile made the younger sigh in his place before he gets up and helped Jimin organizing his stuff. After they did Jimin’s room they left the three to the hospital. Minhyuk had no idea until they reached and the both had to explain to the elder, but after all this Jimin never mention Yoongi at all, what he believed that it happened by accident. The threads were taking out successfully, he moved his shoulder and punched the air right away, laughing at himself for being able to move his left arm again. 

Yoongi smiled at himself for the last time, his feet turned toward the road that leads to his building. Shivers underneath his skin were running, a strong wind blew by hitting his thin body that wasn’t strong enough to block it. They were falling down, one by one, sprinkling on earth again, snowflakes that were like crystals in a light blue mine. Nothing made him happier than Jimin’s words when they were staring at the sky together. They were fond but cold against his pale palm. With a grin on his face he pulled out his phone, calling Jimin’s number, in few second the younger answered with a chuckle. “Hey!” The younger was happy as ever, since the elder met him. “Hey. .” Yoongi bit his lower lips with cherry red paint on his cheeks. The snow was like white dots in the sky, his eyes wandered up as he asked the younger “Are you still home?” cold steam was escaping from between his lips as he spoke. 

“No, I just left the hospital.” 

“Why . .?” Yoongi felt a weird feeling spread in him. His head turned to the back when he felt eyes digging holes on the back of his head, watching him from afar. “To take the threads out.” Jimin’s voice pulled him back to his sense as he remembered about the wound he caused on the younger’s shoulder. “Are you alright?” He asked worriedly, head bending down as he watched his moving feet, his legs would slow down when he feels the familiar feeling behind his back, eyes watching him, feet trailing him, shadows wrap around him. “Yeah I’m totally fine. Are you out?” Jimin asked on the other line gaining hums from the elder. “I wanted to get few things.” The elder gulped hard, he stopped one last time to turn and watched nothing but his own footprint on the ice. 

“Yoongi, it’s snowing.” 

“It is. .” The elder rubbed his nape “you are supposed to be by my side now and kiss me.” Yoongi chuckled feeling Jimin on the other side joins him. It was comfy, the younger’s sweet voice in his ears, saving him from the weird feeling that crept on him and never wanted to let him go. “I would come to you just to grant that.” The elder couldn’t chuckle any more, his face went dull when he heard foot steps behind him, digging their footprints behind his. Slowly he turned one more time, but there was nothing again, despite his illusions he was sure it was real. He was sure it was real, someone was following him, someone was taking the same roads and steps he took. “Jimin . . I-I’m almost near home but can you stay on the line with me until I reach?” Yoongi didn’t want to feel alone, he wanted to feel Jimin around him, he wanted him to grab his hand all the way to his own bedroom. 

“Yeah sure . . are you fine though? Your voice is a bit different now.” The younger wondered on the other side, he slid himself in Jungkook’s car as he shut the door. Words were satisfying Yoongi’s ears, he gulped hard before he speeds his legs a little bit. “Jimin I feel weird.” The elder lowered his voice, from the corner of his eyes he was still feeling the same way, from the corner of his eyes he was watching shades following him, shadows getting closer. With every second he felt his breath hitching, less and less, it was suffocating him. “J-Jimin . . don’t hang up.” Yoongi started to panic along with his voice that dropped the younger’s heart to the ground. “Yoongi what’s wrong?” Jimin asked worriedly. The latter on the other side was gulping whatever saliva that was in his mouth. 

“Someone is following me . . J-Jimin . . s-someone. .” Yoongi almost whispered on the phone, his hands startled to tremble when his eyes captured the familiar shades following him again and again with every step he took. “Hey listen, I’m coming alright? Just calm down for now. Tell me where are you exactly.” The younger bit on his lower lip, telling Jungkook to turn the car to the familiar building. It was sending him to hell, narrowing his chest, the feeling that never wanted to leave him. “I’m like 15 meters away . . from the building.” Yoongi tried not to stutter, to sound fine to Jimin’s ears. “I can do it-“ Just before he finished his words, he was grabbed from behind, pulling him backward as he cried all of a sudden with heart bursting out his chest. His feet scrubbed against the street and snow as he struggled his heart out to free himself. The phone in his hand dropped down on the ground, the bags sprinkled on the white snow as he struggled again. 

In a seconds he freed himself, rushing toward his phone with a stumble, his knees touched the cold ground, head almost collided with the hard ice with palms rubbed on the ground. “Jimin!” Yoongi cried his name, knew the younger was still calling for him on the other line. Nothing hurt him more than his cheek rubbing against the ground when his leg was grabbed, pushing his body to hit the ground as he was pulled backward. “Jimin!!” He called out for him again, eyes watching how the phone was getting away from him with every pull. On a dark place he was dragged with his free leg kicking the air, struggling a little more to free himself but the hands he felt was strong enough to break his bones. “Let me go!!” Yoongi felt the sky falls on his shoulders, his nails ripped from gripping into the ground to stop whoever was pulling him into the dark shadows.


	11. Fresh punches

Panics were eating him, filling every little space in his body. The way Yoongi was yelling on the other line dropped his heart down to the deepest bead of sand, his leg never settled, foot tapping up and down rapidly, being impatient to reach the elder man. “Jungkook can’t you speed a little bit more?” Jimin bit down his lower lip hard, almost ripped it with his teeth, he repeated the same question more than 10 times, pissing his friend off who turned at him angrily. “Hyung shut up will you! I can’t go any faster.” Jungkook almost yelled, turning the steering wheel to the left for the last time before he presses on the brakes. Like a quick flash Jimin rushed outside the car, heavy chest never managed to hold him together as his panics never decreased. Feet echoing in the air when he ran his legs, running near the building with heads turning left and right in terror. 

Snowflakes covered his shoulders like a branch on a tree, they would fall down his shoulders with low thuds on the ground when he fastens his move. “Yoongi!!” His sweet voice was deepening and louden with every call, he yelled the elder name with pounding heart in his chest, looked around him with heavy breaths escaping him, cold steam would be clearly seen around him. His two friends were behind him, being helpful when they wandered their eyes to look for the familiar pale face that matched the pure white snow. Jimin ran around the building, a little further when he remembered Yoongi never reached it yet though. The sun was going down, it settled on the skyline before it hides itself from the moon that took over the sky in the night. Loud curses would escape him; his fingers ran through his orange hair several times furiously. 

“What the hell happened . .?” Jimin wondered out loud, pants were leaving him from running around the place. His phone was pulled out from his pocket as he called Yoongi, there was no way he’d pick up but the younger couldn’t help himself, he wanted to hear his voice again, wanted to hear his normal tone talking back to him sweetly like half an hour ago. Jimin was the other petal that flies alone on the other side with the wind, looking for his match to join as one. The call was ended when there was no answer, but the younger called again and again. His footprints dug on the snow with every step, far on the ground he was watching a light, the brightness was high enough for him to approach and pick up the phone that was vibrating his name on Yoongi’s phone, laying in the cold alone without its owner. 

“J-Jungkook . . pick these up,” Jimin whimpered, eyes wandering on the sprinkled bags that were laying on the ground. “I hope he’s near.” Low broken voice was replenishing the heavy air around him, on his feet he ran his legs again around the area hoping to find his man any time soon. In the hallways between buildings, aligned next to the other, his running feet echoed. “Yoongi!” The elder’s name was called again, Jimin’s voice hit every wall, every street, every corner. The phone in his hand tightened as he cursed with a yell, the bright silky hair was messed with his small hands. “Jimin chill, I’m sure he’s near.” Minhyuk bend down, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath from running around with the younger. 

“Let me go!!” Meanwhile Yoongi was yelled on the other side, struggling to free himself from the strong grips. Familiar feelings crept on him, diving underneath his skin with shivers all over his body. Shadows of darkness never forgave him, the sky was falling down on him, wrenching him even more than he already was, he needed to reach out for the light, for Jimin’s hand and pull him out at least for half a second. “Dammit! Stop moving!” New sound, new echoes, new resonance sent him to the depth of hell. If he stayed home would be much better for him, locking himself instead in his swarthy room and curl in a corner to save himself, to shield himself from anymore harm like a broken forsaken leave all alone. Why was he still alive if he can’t breathe fresh air, can’t see the light like others, can’t laugh and smile with people like real humans. But his world? His world was filled with oppression, narrowness and sorrow, strangle him every day more until he’s out of breath. 

“Release him.” Not again. Not the voice he hated the most, the deep one that sink needles in his heart deeply. Yoongi had doubts about Jooheon was the one behind all this, no one pulled him down except his shits. On the ground he was throws as usual, pure little diamond on a dusty ground where it doesn’t belong to be there. Hyungwon and Changkyun, Yoongi knew them, their faces were always around Jooheon, he used to meet them when he went out few times with the latter. They were all the same, pathetic idiots with black peeled hearts. “Hyung do you have to treat him like this? You know how soft he is.” Changkyun opened his mouth, against the wall he was leaning, arms crossed against his chest. “This has nothing to do with you. He’s my thing, I’ll deal with him myself.” Jooheon furrowed his eyebrows, approaching the elder among them all who crawled backward hastily. 

Yoongi didn’t know where he was, all he knew that he was locked in a small empty room that had a dim light with three beasts bigger than him. Nothing made him breath properly but the holes on the walls that let the night light leak in, in thin lines. His eyes captured how sharp Jooheon’s fangs were, ready to rip him into small pieces. Yoongi was a prey between his veiled claws. “Get out of here.” The former spoke to the other two, eyes steady on his beloved man who was watching him back in awe. “J-Jooheon please, just let me go.” The elder begged when the door closed behind the latter’s back. Soft fulfilled cries escaped the poor boy, lower back rubbing against the floor with every crawl he took to the back, to avoid whatever was going to blow toward him. 

“Yoongi, don’t be stubborn and come back to me. You’re making me do this to you whenever you refuse me more.” The younger scratched his forehead, his knees touched the ground in front of the elder as he crawled on top of him, pushing him down with lack of gentleness. “This is enough . . I don’t want anything anymore. I don’t want to love you again.” Yoongi gulped hard, completely knew his words would do nothing but boil the former’s blood in his veins. His palms rested on Jooheon’s shoulders as he tried to push him back and move away from him. “If all of this happened because of Jimin, Yoongi I’m going to chop his neck in front of you. I’ll hang his head on the highest hill and make you regret leaving me.” The younger’s voice was sending shivers down Yoongi’s spine, the pink lips turned into white from the thought of the words that kept on dancing on his head. 

“. . y-you . . y-you . . how c-can people like you exist. D-Don’t dare. .” Yoongi was stuttering, trembling under the former’s breath as he couldn’t blink at all. Inner wounds never tried to close for once, his low whimpers were heard everywhere. When Jooheon pinned him on the dusty dirty floor again, his chest heaved with every second, it was rising and falling rapidly from fear. “J-Just understand m-me . . o-once.” His long fingers tugged on the former’s fabrics tight, stopping him from whatever he was going to do. Thin pink soft lines were changing its colors to brighter every time, dried the next second as they ran out of blood. “L-Look at me and you, J-Jooheon we are not for each other-“ The words were cut with a yell that shut his eyes tight with hitching breath and low whimpers. 

“Don’t you dare say that again!! Yoongi, my love for you will never die. I don’t care about what you think about us, all I know is that I,” Jooheon pointed at himself before he clenched his teeth “want YOU Yoongi!” his angry tone was doing nothing but freezing the elder under him with quivering fists on his shirt. Not again, Yoongi didn’t want to hear it again, he doesn’t want Jooheon to keep him in his life nor he wanted to do it. The truth would never settle in the former’s head. “Just wait for me, he’s my next opponent. I’d beat the shit out of him in front of you, I’d break every bone and rip him into pieces.” The elder was shaking his head with every word, feeling his tears that are going to dry from his eyes one day rolling the sides of his head. Under the dark ceiling he pushed the younger off of him before he jumps on his feet, toward the door he wanted to walk but nothing was on his favor. 

“Just give up! Fucking give up!! Jooheon I fucking hate you!” Yoongi yelled his heart out all of a sudden, tossing the younger’s hands that grabbed him, stopping him from running away. “I’m not giving the fuck up!! I’m living to chase you and get you back in my arm! But you never gave me the chance!” The younger yelled back, approaching the poor man with force, grabbed him with a pin on the hard wall. Low groan skipped the elder, his hands fought with Jooheon’s, pushing him back but he was pulled closer. “In the end, you’re going to someone else who doesn’t know anything about you! Doesn’t know your weaknesses nor your strength!” The latter spoke with clenched teeth, hands moving to the back of Yoongi’s hair, bending his head to the back with force. The precious tears were crystal clear, flooding down like waterfalls. “and look at this! He already laid a hand on you didn’t he?” Jooheon smirked at the same time furrowed his eyebrows. Jimin’s love bite was clear on the pale skin that did nothing but fucked the younger’s anger. 

“Was he better than me? Hm?” The dim light in the room suddenly vanished, the walls melted down like a liquid of burning steel, the floor cleft under their feet as they drowned in a black ocean filled with roses’ shoots, thorns sticking out to rip them into small pieces and turn the black color into red. “He’ll always be better.” Yoongi gathered his strength to speak without skipping a beat, to tell Jooheon the truth after all and try to free himself. But his words? his words were nothing but letters in their disorder to the younger’s ears. A loud groan escaped from between his trembling lips, the hand in his hair tightened as he shut his eyes tight. Heart burst out of his chest when he felt the former’s breath hitting his skin, getting closer and closer until the familiar lips touched his neck. 

“I’ll show you how better I can be then.” Jooheon parted his lips, sinking his teeth roughly on Yoongi’s flesh, biting him violently as he found the perfect meat in his prey. The elder was screaming ‘NO’ in his head, crying his heart out but what was leaving him, his loud groans from pain and tears that swelled his sleepy dark eyes. Fists were colliding with the former’s body, hitting him strongly at the same time pushing him away, with his thin arms nothing worked out. In a second he managed to control everything, to shove the younger away from him and rush his feet toward the closed door to escape. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Jooheon stretched his hand, it grabbed the back of Yoongi’s fabrics as he pushed him down on the floor again, hovering over him with teeth biting the other side of the pale neck. 

They were clear, the hard bites on Yoongi’s flesh that won’t leave but after weeks. They were like knives sinking around his neck like a choker, to stop him from breathing. “Stop it! It hurts!!” He cried out, mouth never shut from the pain, groans and wails. Yoongi was struggling, kicking with his feet along with his nails that scratched the former’s chest, when he pushed Jooheon off of him again, he turned to crawl away but arms from behind sneaked around him, they were hard fresh chains from the fire. “Stop!! I don’t want this!!” Yoongi’s yells were shaking the place, soon and they would be buried under the bricks that were crying along with him, joining him and embrace him at the same time. They were cold as ice, dirty as soil, the hands he felt under his shirt, climbing on his pale flat tummy all the way up to his chest. 

“Yoongi, you used to love them. You used to beg me for more.” Jooheon laughed slightly but evilly, leaning to bite Yoongi’s nape. The way he was shivering under him, the way he was crying for him to stop, Yoongi looked pitiful, searching for mercy and home. He wanted to run away, to disappear from others’ eyes and never be touched again. Force never worked with him, just like what Jimin said before. From one line Yoongi knew the latter understood him, from the look in his eyes he knew he can be safe with him, but where were he? Where were he when he needed him the most? When he was calling out for him in his inner to rescue him from the hell he was burning in. “Please don’t do this . . p-please don’t! I beg you!” The elder was tired from begging, his wailing never stopped when the former’s hands slid down his pants, pulling them down as he struggled again. Not rape, Yoongi hated it, hated everything at that moment. 

His coat was tossed, his shirt slid down his shoulder roughly. The cold air hit his skin right away, dived in to send shivers down his skin. “Yoongi!!” His name tensed his whole body, heart pounding in his chest as he shut his eyes tight, feeling the weight on his back lightened, He was able to breath for a second in that dark room, on his feet he stood hastily, running behind no one but Jimin who kicked the door open when he heard his loud cries, when he heard his name being called several times in Yoongi’s heart. “You fucker!!” Jooheon cursed loudly, the dust on his arms were brushed when Jimin kicked him away. The way Yoongi clenched on Jimin’s arm raged his heart, face turning red from anger as he approached like a bull, scrubbing his foot on the ground to start his attack. Along with his heavy breaths, Yoongi can see Jimin’s face, boiling from anger, veins popping out to beat the shit out of Jooheon. 

“D-Don’t fight now. Please let’s just go out.” The elder pleaded, shaking the former’s arm with his heavy tongue that was forced to speak. Clenched fists made him curse in his inner, not wolves’ fight again, Yoongi hated it to be honest. “Jooheon you!” Jimin’s anger was flying around him, flames burning Yoongi as he cursed in his inner again. “What are you trying to do to him!” He firmly grabbed the younger who spoke with clenched teeth, head shaking as Jimin noticed him from the corner of his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? I was trying to give love to him.” Jooheon smirked, enjoying how the former furrowed his eyebrows, face turning red from the rage. The moment Jimin took one step, Yoongi pulled him back. With his hard breathes he shook his head again, nails ripping Jimin’s fabrics from his tight grips. 

“J-Jimin. . J-Jimin.” The elder called with stutters, lifting his hand all the way to the latter’s cheek with hazy gaze. “You’ll pay for this!” Jimin ended his line with hand grabbing Yoongi’s as he turned his feet angrily, dragging the former along with him all the way outside the forsaken place he was in, avoiding the loud yells he heard behind him that made Yoongi shut his eyes tight with fear, avoiding the loud curses that were thrown at him. Ignoring the words as he let them flew in the air like flying bugs that never settled in a place. Jimin was feeling it, the way the elder was quivering behind him from the touch of palms, from the hard breaths that never tried to cool down for a second. On the back seat of Jungkook’s car Yoongi was locked in with Jimin, back resting against the seat, arms wrapped around the younger’s torso when he collided with him. 

“You ok?” The latter asked, squeezing Yoongi with hand on the back of his head, his pounding heart was cooling down slowly. Nods with hard breaths hitting his skin made him sigh in relief, the elder tightened his arms with low sobs, owing Jimin everyday more for saving him, for staying by his side and protects him, for exhausting himself to find him in places no one would wonder to search in. “I swear I’m going to kill him at this instant!” The younger sounded angry, pissed off at the same time when he got off of the elder, hand stretching to the doorknob to jump out from the car and stab Jooheon straight in the heart. His arm was grabbed strongly pulling him back on the seat. Yoongi couldn’t speak, his tongue was heavy, frozen in its place with shaking head refusing Jimin from leaving him alone. 

“Kook let’s go.” The younger spoke after he stared at the elder for one full minute. Back in his arm he locked Yoongi, the way he looked all messed him from head to toe shattered his heart into small pieces. Some time needed for the elder to cool down, to settle himself completely in Jimin’s embrace. His low sniffs would fill the air in the quiet car. “He’s fucking dead!” The latter cursed loudly, punching the back of the passenger seat, hearing how Yoongi whimpered on his chest. All the way back to Jimin’s apartment he was taken, on his strong back he was lifted to the younger’s bed room. He was placed on the neat sheets, hands never tried to leave any part he can touch of the younger’s skin. “Yoongi . . You’re staying here with me. I’ll get your things tomorrow.” Jimin spoke softly, hands resting on the thin thighs as he rubbed gently with his thumb. 

“Jimin no . . I-I . .” 

“End of discussion. This way it’d be easier for me to protect you.” The younger’s eyes were staring back at the swollen eyes, down to the red nose, glossy lips, pale neck covered with deep bites from the back of his ears all the way down to his collarbone. “He won’t leave me alone. .” Yoongi gulped hard, leaning on the younger’s chest when he was pulled back there, to where he belongs. His head turned to the back for seconds, shifting away from the younger’s arms as he turned one more time. Strange feelings creeping underneath his skin as he felt eyes on him again, hands stretched to grab him from behind, whispers in his ears. “He’s not behind me, is he?” He asked, lifting his hands all the way to his head, looking around him one more before his upper arms were grabbed. “I’m going insane, Jimin. . I’m going i-insane.” Yoongi pulled his hair, eyes dried out of tears, heavy breaths climbed on his chest again. 

“This insanity won’t dictate you. I’ll stop it, you’re going to be alright here. Don’t think about anything. Jooheon can’t reach you, you’re away from him now.” In a soothing tone the younger spoke, rubbing the former’s upper arms, warming him from the cold he felt. Knocks on the door grabbed Jimin’s attention, Jungkook placed the bags near the door before he approaches with glass of water, handing it to the elder who never tried to turn his head. It was between Jimin’s finger, smile flashed at the youngest. When the door of the room closed, Yoongi sat at the edge of the bed again, taking the glass from the younger’s hand, swallowing everything till the last drop to irrigate his dried throat. “Take a deep breath.” The elder obeyed, chest rose and fell in sync. Under the warm water he stood, it streamed down his body, stretching his muscles. With soap he rubbed his neck, his face and body, washing away Jooheon’s touches with slight panics. 

It was making him uncomfortable, the huge mirror in the bathroom that was coated with steam, the mirror he witnessed in the bed room, the one in the entrance. Yoongi have captured them all behind his head. With a towel around his waist he opened the door slightly, sticking his pale hand out when the younger knocked on the door to give him some comfortable warm clothes to change into. It smelled like musk, Jimin’s smell that filled his nostrils, resting there. Eyes closed suavely, the white hoody in his hand lifted all the way to his nose as he inhaled deeply. Calming scent sent him to a different world for a second before he softens his face. Yoongi was way too small in Jimin’s clothes, sleeves covering his hands till his fingertips. His damp hair was dried by the younger’s hands, drier in one and his silky bright hair between his small fingers. 

The younger’s eyebrows never relaxed. They were furrowed the whole time, since they came back home. Yoongi was touched by his biggest enemy, was struggling between his dirty hands, the thoughts of it just made the younger range in his inner. The elder was feeling it all, knew his boyfriend was mad, completely aware of his inside world. Even though the flat was way much bigger than the previous one, but Yoongi was feeling the same, place he can call home when he’s with Jimin, place where he can relax his heart and keep his beats calm. Loving the younger was easy, he was loveable by others, his character would attract people easily. On bed he was laid gently, blanket covering him all the way up to his chest to keep him warm from the cold night. 

His pale hand touched Jimin’s forearm, shifting closer with forehead resting on the side of the former’s thigh. Eyes closed when he felt fingers running through his hair, they were caressing gently, drowning him in a peaceful world where he can feel nothing but comfortableness. Jimin’s eyes wandered down to the mess on Yoongi’s pale neck as he never stopped cursing, his hand slid down involuntary, touching the marks with his fingertips. The laces of the hoody were pulled, it was tightening slightly around the elder’s neck as he hid his marks under it, they were knotted firmly before he left the room and closed the door. At that time, Yoongi was still awake with closed eyes, shivers underneath his skin made every hair stood when the younger left his side, leaving him in the room all alone. 

After all it felt better feeling the pain than nothing at all. On his back he laid facing the ceiling with quietness. The anger Jimin showed was new to him, the way his face changed shredded him. Worries was eating him, Jooheon’s words were still ringing in his ears. What if anything bad happened to Jimin? Yoongi asked himself. Out of all people he didn’t want to lose Jimin, everyone but not him. His glances never shined, on bed he sat staring back at the closed door with lips shut tight in a thin line. It was opened slightly, half of his face peeked out side to the short hallway that leads to the stairs. His feet walked without a sound, the lights in the living room were turned off, huge windows were taking over a whole wall, overlooking at the city. 

Yoongi heard nothing but his own breaths, Jimin’s two friends must have left already. Dim light was coming out from a room, it was the farthest room in the apartment. The elder walked slowly, approaching with every step, he would hear heavy breaths increasing in his head, sound if fists punching. Through the space that allowed him to see, he watched the younger dripping sweat, punching of the bags filled with sand, punch after another with out a single stop. His sleeveless shirt stuck on his muscled body, beads of sweat were rolling down his arms and face all the way down to his torso. Damp bangs stuck on the sweaty forehead. Jimin was letting his anger out on the bag in front of him as usual, he would hum a curse from time to time with stronger punches thrown at the poor but strong bag. 

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Yoongi spoke in a low tone, his head was resting on the door board when Jimin stopped his movement and turned toward him with parted lips, catching his breath. “Hey . . you didn’t sleep?” The younger tried to sound as usual, but it seemed to him that Yoongi was catching him already. Shakes from the former’s head pushed a slight smile on his face, his sweat was wiped away from his face with his forearm before he approaches the elder. “How do you feel?” Jimin asked, arm resting on the door boarder behind Yoongi as he pinned him back. “I won’t lie . .” The elder sighed lowly under his breath “I feel terrible . . well I was, I guess I’m getting better. I’m with you after all. And ew get away from me, you smell like sweat.” The elder joked, followed with a soft chuckle, his hands moved slowly to the younger’s hips, up to his chest as he clenched on his sweaty top, pulling him closer with a smirk. 

Jimin leaned, to pick those pink thin lips but was stopped with index finger on his puffy lips. The elder chuckled again, shaking his head for who the hell knows how many times that day “When it snows again.” He almost whispered, peck on the younger’s nose was planted before he slips away from him and move in, inside the room. “Come here . .” Jimin smiled, stretching his hand to Yoongi’s wrist as he turned him toward him one more time. Peck on his pale forehead, peck on his nose, pecks on his pale thin cheeks, the younger showed him with kisses all over his face except the kissable lips. “It feels so good around you. Don’t get bored easily from me, I’d be clinging on you from now on.” The elder cupped the latter’s cheeks, with his thumb he caressed the puffy lips. When he lifted his eyes, he expected the younger to stare back at him with his smiley brown eyes. It was a quick study, Jimin pulled himself back with a smile. “I’m looking forward for that.” He clenched his fists in the gloves before he punches the bag slightly. 

“Hey, can you teach me this again?” Yoongi pointed at Jimin’s gloves and bags with anticipation. There were no rejections from the latter, he nodded his head, what was in Yoongi’s mind was exactly in his. Jooheon, being beaten by the two. “Here, wear those.” Jimin pointed with his gloves at other extra gloves he had, they were dark red buried the pale hands in firmly. Beside the younger, Yoongi stood, facing the bag with furrowed eyebrows. “Take the stance I taught you before.” Jimin spoke, moving behind the elder with blank expression. The latter did what he was told, he stood with parted legs, one foot up straight his shoulder and the other a bit on the back, fist near his chin and jawline, and the other in front of him, ready to punch already. “Punch!” And he punched. 

Yoongi’s illusions started to work. The bag in front of him turned to Jooheon, standing weakly in front of him as he punched him, hurting him just like he hurt him, bruising him just like how he bruised every edge of his body, every part and every little skin. All he imagined was him standing all alone wrapped with chains, stopping his movement waiting for the elder to beat the shit out of him. Jimin taught him new positions, new punches and techniques. With every good punch he would turn with a huge smile on his face, feeling proud of himself. It was a time where he punched without a single stop, his fists worked as he let the weight on his chest out. If Jimin would feel this good after he punches the bags then he’d do the same, because all Yoongi felt was the lightness in his chest. 

“Hey hey . . Stop!” The younger approached, wrapping his arms around the elder’s torso as he pulled him back, away from the bag to stop his punches and stop him from hurting himself. Yoongi was panting, he watched how the bag were moving slowly in its place from his hard punches but he didn’t care, he wanted to punch more, to punch Jooheon more and more until he dies in his hands. “I bet you’re going to feel completely better after this.” Jimin sighed, he stood in front of him with fists up near his face. “Come on boy, it’s time to face reality. Punch me!” He ordered with a serious tone, watching how the elder refused at first but he stood facing his boyfriend after all. Jimin didn’t move and inch, he wanted to see how strong Yoongi’s fists were, if not maybe he can teach him something different. 

Right straight on his cheek he was punched, causing his body to stumble backward as he almost fell on the ground. “Holy shit! I’m sorry! Are you ok?” The elder approached, gloves touching the latter’s face instead of his palms. Chuckles made him pout, the younger tossed his gloves aside as he smiled. “That was a good one, Yoongi. I’ll teach you the rest next time, I really need to rest for tomorrow’s match.” Jimin smiled again, his hands turned off the lights of his training room before he heads up the stairs with the elder. After a quick shower to wash his sweat away, he laid next to the elder on bed with his damp hair being lazy to dry it. Jimin will be Jooheon’s opponent, that was the only thing in Yoongi’s head with eyes staring back at the younger. “Do you have to go tomorrow?” The elder bit his lower lip, hand moving to the showing skin of Jimin as he caressed gently with his fingertips. 

“Of course. But you’re not going, you’re staying here and watch me from TV.” 

“Why can’t I go? I want to support you there.” 

“Because I said so. Yoongi I don’t want anything to happen, just stay here alright?” 

“Hey I’m still older than you did you forget? Don’t order me around.” The elder pouted, he turned on his back before he shifts to the other side giving his back to the younger. Slight kiss on the back of his head made him smile, he moved his hand down on the former’s when he moved closer, pressing his chest into his back with arm on his tummy. “I got it. . hyung. Now let’s sleep.” Jimin closed his eyes, feeling the elder grab his other hand as he intertwined their fingers lazily. 

The next morning, Jimin was already up early as usual before any one else. He prepared himself for the wrestling ring, after taking some break because of his wound he gained some energy to face his rival perfectly and knocks him out in the first round. Yoongi came down from the room when the younger was drinking the last drop of his fresh orange juice. Jimin was already ready to go, he had to grab his bag before he leaves his new apartment all the way to the ring. “Morning!” He greeted cheerfully, pecking the elder’s forehead who poured some juice in Jimin’s glass. “Morning. .” The former replied lazily, all the way to the entrance he watched the younger knotting his laces before he stands. “Don’t lose. . Never. I’ll be waiting here for you to come back.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, remembering Jooheon’s words but he knew how strong Jimin was, way more than Jooheon though. 

“What if I lost?” The younger joked, his hand grabbed his backpack as he smiled. “I won’t kiss you when it snows. And I won’t share the bed with you, I won’t talk to you and I’ll go back to my apartment.” Yoongi was serious, he spoke without skipping a beat. But he knew after all this he was giving some strength to the younger to never lose and come back home safely, winning with huge grin on his face. When Jimin left, Yoongi switched on the TV and waited for the match to start. It took him one full hour and a half for the live match to start. His nails were bitten by his teeth from nervousness. No one beside him can tell him who can win the match, no one will tell him how the younger’s condition will be like if he was punched, all he was trying to do to be patient until the two appears and end the fight already.


	12. You

Jimin furrowed his brows, in the hallways he walked with hard gulps. Thick air sucked him in as he opened the door of the changing room, followed by Minhyuk, he tossed his backpack on the bench with fingers running through his hair angrily. Why was he pissed? Why was he frustrated and mad? Jimin didn’t know himself, what he wanted was to rush on the ring, to surround himself with a thick air to wrap around him and beat Jooheon which he still didn’t know he was his opponent. “Jimin what’s wrong?” Minhyuk sat right beside him on the bench, palm positioning on the former’s back as he ran slight circles. The latter’s colors were leaking out underneath him slowly, harmful feelings crept in him, the feeling of losing the match, the feeling of Jooheon getting stronger every time until he squishes him with one fingertip. 

“I don’t know. . I’ve been feeling bad whenever I step in the ring. Hyung, I don’t want to lose today.” The younger buried his face behind his palms, they slipped to the gap between his knees, cold eyes stared at the ground. “Hey don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll win this match, you’re strong enough to beat them to the curb.” Minhyuk smiled, his palm rested on the former’s nape as he pulled him in a men hug, it was a quick one to regain the energy he lost seconds ago. “I’ll be waiting for you outside.” He stood, on his shooting legs he turned to the door, leaving the younger all alone to have his own time. Saliva coated his puffy lips as he licked them, fists colliding together as they were lifted to his forehead. Few seconds and his phone was between his fingers, scrolling down to a certain name. Yoongi. He wanted to hear his voice, to calm his heavy heart a bit and gather some more strength. 

It rang for few seconds before the elder pick up on the other line, with silence he answered. Jimin gulped, emerald brown eyes dropped down to the wraps around his wrist and free hand, there was silence from his side too. Why was it hard for them to speak? Why was he nervous all of a sudden to let out one word and hear a reply from the elder’s deep beautiful voice? He never found an answer to his own wonders and thoughts. The sound of the TV on was ringing in his ears, Yoongi must have already sat there waiting for his match. “Yoongi,” Jimin bit his lower lip, fingers ran though his hair as he tried to stop himself from smiling. “Yeah. .?” The elder’s voice was faded a bit, low and calm as ever, quiet and reassured. 

“Are you waiting for me?” Chuckle escaped him before he rubs his nape with his palm “I’ll go up there in a minute, I just wanted to hear your voice.”. It was ringing again, the silence, but he knew the man on the other line was bending his head down, reddish ears from shyness. “Hey come on, speak to me I really need to hear your voice.” The younger chuckled again, he laughed when he heard Yoongi giggling out there. “Hurry, I have to go soon.” Yoongi on the other side stayed quiet for seconds more, killing Jimin in the inside. His head turned toward the door when it was opened, telling him to move his ass already and go to the ring. “. . Fay boy,” The elder spoke all of a sudden, voice freezing the younger with heart bursting out of his chest. “Good luck, and . . come back home already I feel lonely.” Jimin grinned, lips curving to the maximum as he felt his chest lighten. 

The name couldn’t stop him from laughing, cheeks stained with redness. It seemed like Yoongi really see him as a mythical character. In the same ocean they started to drift together, wave by wave hitting their bodies. Jimin hung up the call with a bite on his puffy lips, it was buried in his bag before he thrusts his hands in his black gloves. In the familiar gray hallways, he headed, all the way to the wrestling ring. Air hitting his bare upper body, letting go of his darkness until he heard the crowd, people crying out, cheering before the match starts. Strong light splendored his eyes, the black ocean of people vanished as a black panel instead, one surface without any ins and outs. A mouth guard was in his mouth, from between two thick dark blue ropes he jumped in the ring, surrounding himself with these roped and the platform. 

Right in front of him the moment he lifted his eyes, Jooheon smirking widely with vulture eyes digging holes in Jimin’s straight face. Not like every time, he used to smile, used to shout with the cheers he heard, used to throw smiles at the crowd, but this time? It was different, he was angry, raging, boiling fluid running in his red and blue veins. Fists tightening by his side, eyes burning with irritation. Jooheon’s presence itself was a loathsome breath, Jimin furrowed his brows, he has been waiting for the time to face Jooheon one more time in the ring. It’s finally here. “Oi! We met again, thief.” The former laughed, laughs Jimin wished if they choked him and kill him at the same time. Being called thief because Yoongi is in his hands now was making him proud, at least he saved him from the beast in front of him. 

“We met again, piece of shit.” The younger among the two jumped in his place to heat his body. Cold eyes tangled with Jooheon for seconds before he turns his eyes away, hoping for the last time. “Is my boy doing fine, you know I’m missing him. Maybe I’ll drop by and steal him back, we both can be thieves you know?” The former gloves covered his mouth when ironic laugh escaped him, enjoying the annoyed look Jimin had on his face. “Yeah if you want your legs to be twisted and your arms to strip off, just try to take one step toward him.” Jimin rolled his eyes, letters never effected him because there were his man’s eyes watching him already, making his heart in it’s place beating calmly. 

Said of Yoongi, he was sitting on the couch, across the TV, cushion pressed again his chest with quivering hands near his pink soft lips. He knew Jooheon was away from him, knew he was only on the screen but he was near, he was near him, stretching his dingy dark wings around him. Yoongi was scared from the look on his face, from the way he was looking back at Jimin, from the way he was babbling things which he couldn’t hear at all. Trying to read their lips, he cursed for not being able to catch anything. “Jimin please . .” Pale thin long fingers intertwining together from nervousness, feelings crept in him, telling him how bad this match is going to be once they start. It was his first time being impatience to watch a fight. Boxing was something he never was interested in, it was something his ex-boyfriend was doing. But now, he wanted to see Jimin, to cheer him up, to go every time with him to the ring and grab his hand tight. 

“Well excuse me, you took what belongs to me so I have to take it back, no?” Jooheon rolled his eyes, fists positioning themselves near his face, preparing himself to hear the word ‘FIGHT’ and attack Jimin. “You touch things that doesn’t need to be touched, he doesn’t want you, Yoongi chose me over you. End of story. Fuck off.” The younger sighed, he took his stance, facing the older completely. The crowd turned into flames, they were surrounded with fire added with gasoline. 

“I won’t step out from this ring today unless you’re fucking dead on the platform!” It was a warning, a dangerous one from Jooheon. The first move was from him when they started, three minutes was counting down. A strong straight punch toward Jimin, it missed his body when he moved his upper body and head to the back, with a quick shift he threw a punch on the former with his rear hand as it hit his jawline. “I won’t go easy on you today!” He spoke through his clenched teeth. “I won’t either. You know why?” The latter approached. In circles they walked, foreheads pressed against each other, on his right side he received a powerful punch, causing him to step back before he scrubs his bull’s feet and attack Jimin again. “Because I’ll end you and go back to take my boy.” Jooheon whispered in the younger’s ears, straight punch on the former’s cheek made him smirk and step back. 

Yoongi tensed in his place, cushion crushed between his arms with teeth biting his lower lip. Seeing Jimin getting punched was as if he was the one in the ring, being beaten up by Jooheon. Underneath the skin of his chest, pain was spreading there. If he can stop the younger from doing the most thing he liked which was boxing, he would. On the huge slim screen, his cornea reflected the scenes, Jimin and Jooheon, on his feet he stood, parting lips with a low whimper. The younger was punched right on the head which made him stumble to the back, ropes supported him on his feet again and rush toward the beast with his fists on his body and face. The two were separated from each other when the first round ended, on the corners they threw themselves with heavy breathes, eyes killing each other with glares. 

The sound of the lockset echoed in his ears along with the TV, sound of things placed down on the floor with thuds, low sighs and slight breaths. Yoongi turned his feet all the way to the entrance, Jungkook was there, placing boxes and suitcases down that embraced the elder’s belongings. “Oh hyung, you’re here! I just got your things-“ The younger stopped talking when his sleeve was grabbed with silence, all the way to the living room he was dragged, on the couch he sat when hands pushing his shoulders down to settle on. To him, Yoongi seemed mute, but he knew he wasn’t because he talks to Jimin but to Jungkook, he never heard his deep voice at all, not even once, not even when he was talking with Jimin the previous night. At the screen Yoongi pointed, eyes looked back at Jungkook the next seconds. They were deep and dark, black and glossy, the elder’s eyes when he stared back at the younger who parted his lips with s swallow. 

“. . tell me what’s going on.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, lowering his voice when the younger was staring back at him as if he found a historical beautiful pale treasure in a museum. Slowly, he sat beside the latter with zipped lips, eyes glued back on the screen, on Jimin who was ready for the next round. That deep voice Jungkook heard got him a bit amused and surprised at the same time, Yoongi had a voice after all, a voice that a bit doesn’t suit his shapely baby face. “Ooh~ You’re watching Jimin hyung. He’s going to win don’t worry, I can see he’s angry now but it seems like his opponent got on his nerves.” The younger uttered, explained a little bit before he leans back against the couch, arms stretched beside him on the couch’s headboard. Eyes wondering on the former’s jawbone, down to his pale swollen neck before it jumps up to his small sleepy eyes. 

“How do you know . . ?” The elder asked, turning toward the younger for seconds before his eyes falls onto Jimin again. Punches were thrown from the both sides, non of them knocked the other out yet, non of them wanted to lose. Bruised faces were clearly seen, reddish ponds on their backs and chests from the hard smacks. “I’ve been with him since . . I don’t know a long time. I know him very well.” Jungkook pushed a smile, eyes focused back on the screen to explain more what was going on, on the fight. Jimin boosted blood out from his mouth, not being able to turn his face back to the front with punch on his jawline. He would defense himself to pull himself together a bit more before he tries to approaches Jooheon. 

In the ring, their bodies were on chronic inflammation, heavy breathes leaving the both. No one will fall down on the platform unless he was covered with contusions, bones breaking, muscles paralyzed. And still, every second of every minute in each round Jooheon would motion Yoongi, he would talk about him to get in the younger’s nerve, to kick his feelings to the curb. “Shut this fucking mouth of yours already!” Jimin almost yelled, dense legs moving closer with quick punches on the former’s torso. Intense breaths were sinking in their sweaty swollen bodies, scrabbling their skin. “Why?” Jooheon laughed, an evil laugh nibbled on the former’s poor heart. “Don’t you want o hear more? I don’t think you even know him very well yet. Yoongi is a hidden pages Park Jimin.” He continued, furrowing his brows, fist colliding with Jimin’s temple, watching him stumble backward with parted lips, all the way to the thick ropes and back to the middle.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you!” Jimin cursed in his inner, Jooheon’s darkness never left him alone. Spell was thrown at him, dizziness was taking over him as he felt his gaze becoming hazy. Jimin needed some more strength to beat Jooheon. Not that day, he didn’t want to lose. “Is it because you don’t want to be shocked from him?” The former laughed again. Face turned back straight the moment Jimin started to slip away from him, move back and defense himself. “Yoongi isn’t easy.” It was the second time he heard it, Yoongi slipped the words himself before which was the only thing Jimin believed from Jooheon’s words. Yes, maybe he wasn’t easy but not in a tacky way. “Do you know what he likes the most? Do you know what he fears the most?” The older rolled his eyes, getting enough from the avoids the younger was giving him. 

“Shut up!!” The younger yelled, just before he was going to throw a punch he was pulled back on a corner, spitting blood outside the ring from his mouth before he bends his head back to the post. Gaze nebulous, heavy head, agonizing body, Jimin was done, his day was the lost for living, that was the only thing he thought about. Yoongi’s sedative voice, his beautiful face, pink lips and dark eyes, they were in Jimin’s head, he would hear him rendering out for him. Completely knowing how he looked so haggardic, he knew Yoongi was dead worried about him, quivering in his place with tiny teeth biting his lower pink lips. Eyes back on Jooheon, he had noticed him looking around, through the crowd searching for something to prey on, something to chase. Yoongi. 

After one minute, they were back in the middle, facing each other, fangs dripping saliva to strangle each other. “It’s useless. Don’t look for him, he’s not here.” Jimin smirked, moving his head in a quick movement to blew his fringe away from his forehead. “Whether you lost or won in this match Jimin, I’ll get him back.” Jooheon exhaled through his nose. 

“Jimin . .” Yoongi was begging across the screen, finger intertwining together underneath his chin. Virulent feelings filled him, in every cell he was cursing, cussing and begging at the same time. He wondered for seconds what is going to happen of Jooheon wins, coming back to find him with Jimin dead between his slovenly fingers. “Damn Jimin hyung is getting weak!” Jungkook tensed in his place, right in front of the screen he sat, causing the elder to follow him when he blocked his view. “He’s not going to lose, is he?” Yoongi asked, gripping on the former’s sleeve one more time. Shrugging shoulders beside him made him gulp hard. “It took him so long this time to finish his opponent, he usually knocks them out easily.” The younger furrowed his brows, increasing the volume of the TV with focused eyes and mind. 

Worries were eating him from head to toe, air sucking in all the breaths as it left fear in the living room. Anxiety invading him, to the ground he was pulled. Jimin was almost dead in the ring, after all this he was strong in Yoongi’s eyes, strong enough to stand on his feet to win, to never lose his pride and show Jooheon how strong he was. The elder clenched his fists, up on his feet he stood when he watched Jimin’s muscles tightening in his arms as he threw his powerful punches on the former. In the fifth round, he was able to punch him one last time before he falls down on the white platform, cheek sticking on the stage, unconscious. It made Yoongi happy, but not that happy. His smile was quivering, lips would curve up and the next seconds down. Why was it so hard for him to see his boyfriend’s tears rolling down his bruised cheeks? Why was he crying from the very beginning? Yoongi never stopped the questions from dancing in his head. 

It was the first. It was his first time seeing Jimin’s tears, his first time watching how the younger’s eyes became swollen slowly, redness crept around his eyes. “What’s wrong with him?” Jungkook wondered out loud, phone pulled from his jean’s pocket, dialing Minhyuk’s number right away. When Jimin’s fist were raised in the air, his head was bending down until he stepped down the ring with silence, giving his back to everything, blocking his ears from hearing anything any more. Jooheon had had spitted words he never wanted to hear. Why was he believing him after all? Jimin wondered. He shouldn’t, to whatever he’s going to hide he shouldn’t have believed it. What made him knock Jooheon down in one last straight powerful punch was one thing. One thing shredded him, slowly, with every step he took he felt his feet getting heavy, they were old enough to drop him down on the ground. 

“. . . mirrors.” Jimin whispered under his breath, eyes never tried to blink as he felt the world spinning around him. With the back of his hand he wiped his running nose that streamed down a narrow line of blood. Jooheon had spitted out, Yoongi’s weakest point. The younger’s gaze turned into nothing but picture of the elder’s broken mirror on the ground, his apartment that had not a single mirror, the way he was standing beside the huge mirror that was in Jimin’s apartment. One by one it was replaying in the former’s head. How come he hasn’t noticed anything when he was around? Jimin asked himself in his inner. Jooheon was giving him everyday more, every day more pain, more sorrow. 

“That bastard-” Yoongi’s voice was loudening, shocking Jungkook beside him who rose one eyebrow. Impatiently they were waiting in the living room, walking in circles. His restless thoughts were killing him in the cold air, under the high ceiling with nails scratching his head from time to time. Jimin sure took his time to change, to pull himself together and check if nothing was wrong with him. But out there? He was rejecting everyone, everything, changed into his clothes and headed outside with his friend. Yoongi bit his lower lip when he heard the door unlocking after one hour, his feet rushed to see Jimin, wrap his arms around his neck and bury himself in him. Ahead of him he stood, blank expression on his face with hard gulps when his eyes dropped to the younger’s. 

The sound of the bag dropping to the ground with thunderous sound, nothing moved at all in the living room except Jimin, approaching slowly toward the man in front of him. The look on his face solidified Yoongi, dark deep eyes surrounded with redness, it wasn’t the look of victory in there, but something different confused the elder. Small hands rose up, to Yoongi’s thin cheeks they stabilized. It was forced, unplanned slight broken smile on Jimin’s face. The same emerald brown eyes were complaining to the elder, to the back of his head he felt his hands sliding, in few seconds he was pulled gently to the younger’s chest, squeezed him the next seconds with head on the former’s small shoulder. “Jooheon is getting stronger.” The words in Yoongi’s ears dropped him to the depth of earth. On the back of the former’s shirt he clenched his fists, hiding his face on the crook of Jimin’s neck. 

“Screw him. Are you alright?” The elder asked, voice hushed against the former’s neck. There was no answer to his concerned question, with silence Jimin loosed his arms. To his room he walked with aching body, leaning on the elder who helped him all the way to his bed. Jimin winced deeply, eyes shutting tight the moment his back touched the mattress. “Jimin you didn’t check on yourself, let’s go to the hospital.” Minhyuk sighed, knew how stubborn his friend can be sometimes. But at that moment, Jimin wanted to stop his thinking, to ignore his sore body and rest everything surrounded him. “I’ll go tomorrow. .” The younger opened his eyes slightly when he felt the hand he longs for holding his. Yoongi was sitting right beside him, eyebrows shaped in a sad way, eyes staring back at him with worries. 

“Jimin you have to go. .” The elder among them spoke in a low tone, caressing the hand between his with his thumb. 

“. . can you give us a second?” Jimin spoke again, watching his friends nods their heads before they closed the door behind their backs. 

With a sigh, the younger pulled Yoongi down on his laying chest again. “How was I?” Jimin asked, causing the elder to lift his head from his chest and look at him with slight pout. Beside him the elder laid, hand brushing the messy orange bangs to the back. “You were awesome.” Yoongi smiled slightly when the former laughed in a low tone. A weak laugh that made him close his eyes the next second. 

“I’m so tired.” Jimin breathed, body turned to the former’s as he bent his head down, crawled closer to rest on Yoongi’s chest instead. The scents were mixed, Jimin’s scent with dried sweat. The elder ran his fingers through the former’s orange silky hair, caressing gently. Raising and falling chest against stomach, the younger wasn’t breathing tranquilly, there was a bit rush. “I feel happy for you. .” The elder whispered, leaned to plant a suave kiss on Jimin’s head. Just before the former replies, he jerked from his place, palm covering his nose and mouth, forearm supporting his body on the sheets as he cursed. Nothing was new, it happened before, nose bleeding from the punches he received. Jimin just hoped his nose wasn’t broken this time. “I need tissues!” He spoke through his hand; it took Yoongi seconds to understands before he grabs the box on the nightstand beside him. 

There wasn’t a chance for the blood drops to stain on the bright sheets, it was a relief from the younger. He was sniffing, pulling the fluid back but he failed, on the white tissues he let his blood run down on them. “Damn! Let’s just go to the hospital, you don’t seem fine.” Yoongi gulped hard, pulling out some more tissues to help the former. “I’m fine. It happened before.” Jimin lifted himself from the bed, on his feet he tried to stand and head toward the bathroom in his room. Crimpled all the way to the middle of the way before he was on the rough ground, on his back groaning in pain. Yoongi leaped toward him, sliding his arms under him as he lifted his upper body a bit from the ground. And that was the time where Jimin never replied to Yoongi when he called him several times. 

“Jungkook!!” The elder cried out for him, panics crept on him. Painful weight was taking away from him, Jungkook cursed when he lifted his friend in his arms and headed down the stairs hastily. “I don’t know when he’s going to stop this stupid game!” Minhyuk said angrily, even though he used to support him but after he watched him getting hurt he wanted him to stop. Yoongi held back the tears that wanted to fall down, he let Jimin’s head rest on his chest all the way to the hospital. When he was taken away from them, he lifted the back of his hand to his lips to stop them from quivering. “Hyung we should stop him. He has had enough. When he was just a trainer he was fine.” Jungkook ended his lines with a sigh, on his hips he rested his hands waiting impatiently for Jimin to get his treatment. 

“I think we should.” Minhyuk almost whispered. 

Yoongi stood there beside them with silence as his usual self, dead worried in the inside. Jooheon took his chance to crumble the younger after all, his promise was real, it just made the elder feel guilty for not telling Jimin from the very beginning about that evil plan. Waiting impatiently for almost three hours, when they were able to see Jimin, Yoongi was the first one to rush his feet to his room. He wasn’t awake, like a broken sleeping angel on the hospital bed covered with bandages all over his body. Wires connected to the heart monitor, IV drop on his left hand. “Oh god!” Minhyuk breathed, on one side of the bed he stood beside Jungkook. They were grateful when there were no serious injuries. 

Eyes were on Yoongi after minutes as the two stared at him. His sleepy eyes dropped down to the ground as he wanted to turn away from them. Tongue tied when he was asked few questions, few lines he needed to reply to, but Yoongi wasn’t feeling like talking at that moment. All he wanted was to talk only to his Jimin. Beside the both sides of the bed they sat waiting for the former to open his eyes. Minhyuk and Jungkook were talking from time to time but Yoongi had no one to talk to except the laying body on bed, in his heart. 

Few more hours, time was flying slowly, minute by minute and second after another, Yoongi can feel them all. Around 7PM Jimin moved slightly, after taking so much rest while sleeping along the sound of the machines around him he opened his eyes slightly. Rocks were falling on his head, mountains on his body, at the same time he was still dizzy. “Hyung.” Jungkook called in a low tone, low sigh escaped the latter before he looked around him with his hazy gaze. “Where am I?” Jimin shut his eyes for seconds before he wanders them around. 

“Hospital.” Minhyuk replied to his question. 

“I’m going home . .” Jimin tried to get up from bed, thin white blanket slipped down his torso to his lap. When he felt cold limbs on his bare upper arm, his head turned to Yoongi who laid him back on bed. “You need to rest till tomorrow at least.” The elder bit his lower lips, hands moved down to bury Jimin’s between his. “ . . come here.” The younger demanded, patting on the free space beside him, wanting to be as much closer as he could to the elder. Yoongi hesitantly crawled closer, beside the former he sat, watching him shift closer with head resting on his lap. “Jimin you need a long break to recover from today’s match.” Minhyuk threw himself on the chair beside the bed when he heard hums from his friend. “Hyung we are serious. You’re not going to any match soon.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t be like this. .” Jimin sighed. He knew he won’t recover completely soon but he wanted to fight a bit more. “I think you need a break too.” Yoongi spoke in a low tone, sinking his finger in the former’s hair, the beautiful part he admires to touch. As they kept talking and arguing a bit with Jimin, time passed way too fast. They didn’t notice the time until a nurse came to check on him, replace the bag of IV drop with a new smaller one. Around 10PM another nurse came in with papers in her hands, writing some information about the patient, by the door she bowed “Visiting time have ended, if you don’t mind.” She kept the door open for the three to leave the room but non of them moved. “Go already. I’ll be fine.” Jimin sighed, his hand pulled Yoongi a bit closer when he moved from bed. He wanted them to leave but not Yoongi, he needed him. 

Kiss on his forehead returned his beautiful smile back on his face, the elder smiled back before he let go of the younger and move toward the door. When the three left, in the hallway of the ward Yoongi was looking back at the door getting away from him with every forward step he took. “Hey . .” Yoongi called in a low tone for the two in front of him. When the both turned, his palm rubbed his nape. “Can you make them busy?” He asked, pointed at the nurses in the reception ward with his eyes before they rose their brows. “I want to go back to Jimin.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, eyes begging as the both sighed before they nodded. After all they needed to ask them some question about Jimin. Yoongi bent down on the ground when they started talking, his hand gripped on Jungkook’s longs legs as he got his attention, waving at him with silence before he crawls slowly back to the hallway of Jimin’s room. 

He made sure all the nurses left that area, back on his legs he stood and rushed to the room. Yoongi was a quiet person that causes troubles like mice in a house. The thought of it made Jungkook chuckle to himself, the elder was acting cute and caring at the same time. “Yoongi?” Jimin was surprised when he saw him entering his room again, rushing toward him like a little child. “How did you . .-

“I got some help from your friends before I sneak here.” The elder sat back on bed beside his boyfriend with slight smile on his face. “I want to stay with you. Sleeping alone tonight won’t be so peaceful.” Jimin chuckled, craves filled his body, he wanted to squeeze the elder all night and bury him under his nails. “Such a troublemaker.” The younger turned on his right when the latter laid back beside him, facing him with hand looking for Jimin’s small one to hold it. 

Eyes reading, exploring into each other a bit more. Jimin liked how glossy Yoongi’s eyes were, beautiful and dark, hiding ton of things behind it. Said of hiding, the words he heard from Jooheon danced back in his head. Why such a beautiful man like Yoongi fears mirror? There won’t be any answer unless Yoongi tells him himself. “Get better soon.” The elder breathed, head leaning closer to collide his forehead with Jimin’s chin. The night wasn’t as cold as they excepted it to be. The warmth of their bodies were warming the air around them as well, beneath their skins they were calling each other. “Yoongi. .” He should ask, it was his chance to know right away, but when the former bent his head back to look at the smiley eyes, his tongue tied. “What?” Yoongi almost whispered, hand climbing to the former’s bruised cheek as he caressed gently. 

“Oh! Jimin it’s snowing.” He wasn’t able to ask when the elder spoke before him, eyes glued on the window. The curtains were a bit open, allowing his eyes to capture the white crystals falling down to the ground. Jimin turned on his back, head toward the windows as he smiled slightly. Snow, was falling down calmly. When he turned back to look at the elder, he was still meditating the falling beads. Nothing snapped Yoongi out from his thoughts but the puffy lips pressed against his. “I was waiting for it to snow.” Jimin whispered, lips sliding against Yoongi’s as he felt hands resting on his cheeks. The shades were on the side of their faces, like leaves falling down from a dead tree. Butterflies of jitters flew in their stomachs from the sudden contact. 

Breaths started to change clearly in the room, Jimin kissed him as if it was their first time, tender and slow, pure and neat. On his back Yoongi was pushed gently, the sound of the heart monitor beside the bed was increasing with Jimin’s heart, lines steady high one after another. When they pulled back, the younger locked their eyes with glares filled with love and concern at the same time. Head pressed to the back, Yoongi wrapped his arms lightly around Jimin’s neck when their lips collided again in breathtaking kiss. The same tastes they were starving for filled them, the beautiful soft pink lips were returning Jimin’s kisses, sending him in a different world as he pressed himself a bit more, colliding their teeth together. 

Touching Jimin’s soft hair while kissing his puffy lips sent Yoongi to the space, all of the younger together was a small pearl he wanted to keep to himself. To the back of the former’s head Jimin slid one arm, crawling on the elder with body pressed against his. Low sounds were escaping the younger, Yoongi’s lips were making him dizzy again. In a second they started to kiss aggressively as if they were waiting for this moment to happen, and it happened. The way he heard low moan escaping the elder when he pushed his tongue in his warm mouth made him want to hear more. It was the first moan his ears captured. Yoongi for the first time felt his lips responding to love, his first time feeling beautiful hands touching him lovingly. Jimin was different, a masterpiece in a gallary. 

If Jooheon showed him the same love and affection maybe he would have stayed with him a bit more, but no even if he showed him everything perfect, Jimin still will be different. When they pulled back for some breath, Yoongi slid his hands back to the younger’s face. Nothing caught his attention but the machine on his left, after staring at the former for minutes, his head turned toward it as he watching how Jimin’s heat was beating for him. It was beating only for him, from looking at him, from kissing and touching him. He still can feel Jimin’s eyes on him, studying the side of his face before he leaned to plant kisses on his neck, tensing his body with arms back around the younger’s neck. It wasn’t meant when he called a name by mistake, Yoongi didn’t know if he called out because of his thoughts or because of the fears that crept on him from the thought of him. 

“Jooh-“ Jimin stopped him movement, stopped his lips from moving as his face turned upside down from lust to anger. “You rarely call my name, do you know that?” he spoke in a low tone when he lifted his head to stare down at the man under him. Yoongi gulped hard, he wanted to apologize, to explain because he ruined their beautiful moment with stupid letters he didn’t know they would escape his lips. “Do you still love him, Yoongi?” Jimin spoke in a low tone, lifting his weight from the elder’s who grabbed him, wanted to shake his head but Jimin’s word hitched his breath. “Out. .” The younger pointed at the door before he repeated “Get out.”. 

“Jimin-“

“I said get out.” Jimin cut him before he lifts Yoongi’s body from the bed. “I’m tired, let me rest. You’re giving me headaches.” 

“I-I’m sorry . . I-“ 

“Yoongi get the fuck out!” The younger yelled all of a sudden, watching how the former’s body tensed beside him. His voice brought a nurse to his room as well when his condition was making a beeping sound on their desk. “Oh my how did you get in here!” The nurse was surprised when she watched Yoongi in the room. The latter didn’t pay much attention to her, he wanted to talk to Jimin to explain to him but the words never wanted to escape from between his lips, they were stuck on his throat afraid of the outside air. After few seconds two security guards entered the room, grabbing Yoongi toward the door with eyes still on his boyfriend whose head was down until he was laid back on the bed from a help from the nurse. ‘I don’t love him but I love you.’ Yoongi wanted to say it, to confess his true feelings but his chance was taken away from him.


	13. Fixed

It was snowing, the weather was cold outside when Yoongi was dragged all the way outside the hospital. Snowflakes collided with his head and shoulders tenderly, it was supposed to be a loving night, a night were they whisper sweet words to each other, but he fucked up, he called Jooheon out of the blue from his useless thoughts. Now Jimin pushed him away, he felt claws sinking in his heart as they scratched him deeply. In the cold air he walked slowly with head bending down, where is he going to go now? After his belongings were moved to Jimin’s new apartment he had nowhere to go. To his new home, he didn’t want to head, if the younger came back from the hospital the next day he’d be kicked out for sure. Footprints behind him on the snow, arms wrapped around himself to avoid the cold wind that blew against him, to sneak through his nose and mouth and cool his thin pale body. 

Lips started to quiver from cold, turned white the next second as he whimpered in a low tone. Cold drowned until it touched his bones, aching his body parts from moving anymore. His clothes weren’t as warm as he thought they would be, shirt, light jacket on, and jeans. Above all the struggles in his chest he gulped hard when he wanted to kick some tears out from his eyes, but he couldn’t, he stopped them. No more crying, Yoongi wanted to promise himself, to become stronger and never shed a tear. But his soft heart was dictating on everything, sensitivity was surrounded him, things he couldn’t change with his hands. His shoulders were covered with snow, becoming a heavy barrow, pulling him down on the ground from it’s heaviness. Jimin’s words were ringing in his ears, voice stuck in his head never found the way to escape. Was he really giving him headaches? Was he a burden to him because he wanted to be protected? Yoongi asked himself trillions of questions until he reached the familiar building, his old apartment. 

Body trembling from the outside air, his tongue was heavy to speak, arms never tried to fall down beside his body, to warm himself at least. Nose turned red as he sniffed. He was there, on the floor sitting beside his door with head resting on his knees. Jooheon was like Jimin, almost dead. His figure out there sent shivers down Yoongi’s spine. Without a word he walked quietly, ignoring his body as he pressed on the numbers of the door lock. “. . Yoongi.” His name made him shut his eyes for seconds before he opens the door slightly as if he heard nothing but the silence of the air. “Your hand is so cold. .” The former spoke in a soft tone when he grabbed the elder’s hand, stopping him from going inside all alone. Warm breaths were blowing on his hand. It was pulled away after few seconds. Yoongi turned his head away, hummed a curse when he let Jooheon watch how his tears couldn’t hold themselves inside his sleepy small eyes. 

“Why are you crying?” The latter asked, approaching one step, hands pulling the elder closer to wrap his arms that weren’t needed around Yoongi. It was strange, the younger wasn’t his usual self. Softness was in the air around them but it was painful to Yoongi, it was difficult for him to take the former’s warmth back. Without any answer the elder pulled himself back, turned his feet toward his apartment before he spoke with head bending down. “Don’t come here again. I don’t want to see you.” They were cold as ice; his words were sinking needles in the heart. Behind his back he closed the door, wiped his tears with the back of his hand and made his way toward his empty room. Non of his things were there, no clothes to change on either, everything was in Jimin’s apartment except his empty bed and the dead couch. 

His chest was freezing his whole body, shivers underneath his skin from the cold night never left him alone. On bed he laid, curled with arms wrapped around him. “I’m sorry . .” he whispered to the air, whispered to the shadows around him with hard gulps. “I’m sorry . . I’m sorry . . I’m sorry. .” Yoongi was repeating, founding himself sobbing the next second with body turned into a ball. Throat started to ache him, it was hard for him to swallow his saliva down. His quivering hands were lifted all the way to his mouth as he blew some warm breath but his heavy body was tired already, on his place he closed his eyelids in the freezing air, drowning himself in a different world instead of reality. 

Jimin scratched his forehead when the sun rose, at the edge of the bed he sat, sliding his arms in his shirt with help from his two friends. The whole night his head never stopped thinking about Yoongi, not a single minute, regretting everything he said to him. Before he closed his buttons he grabbed his phone, called the elder for the first time but he never answered, sent him a quick message but there was no response at all. He screwed, not only Yoongi. It was his fault for kicking him out, his fault for pushing him away when there was a quick way to fix what the elder did. For the fourth time he heard the rings echoing in his ears, Yoongi didn’t pick up the call again. It was just making Jimin’s heart worry in his chest, what if something happened out there? He never stopped asking himself not even a second. 

On his feet he stood slowly, wincing a bit when his body was still sore from the previous day. “Jungkook . . This is the last time I’m asking you this. . please I need the car keys.” Jimin shut his eyes for seconds, Jungkook’s face refused but his hand moved to drop the keys on the former’s palm. When he started the engine, he tried to call the elder one more time but there was no answer again. On the passenger seat he threw his phone from anger, fists clenching on the steering wheel with head down. “Why the hell don’t you answer!” Jimin cursed when his eyes dropped on his phone one last time. Back to his apartment he tried to drive, all the way to his floor he headed. Not in his room, nor in his training room, Yoongi wasn’t seen anywhere in his apartment. It was a bit funny to the younger, why would his man come back to his apartment after he yelled at him? The thought made him chuckle from frustration as he punched the wall slightly. For the last time he checked if the elder called him back, but he didn’t not even reply to his messages. 

Before he went back again, he grabbed a beanie and a scarf to avoid the cold air. Back to the black car he sighed. Thinking a little about where he could find him, their old apartments popped on his mind. But why would he go there? Can’t he be a bit more careful that Jooheon may come back and take him away? The thought of Jooheon dropped Jimin’s heart to the ground. The speed was risking, but he didn’t care, he wanted to see Yoongi at that second in front of him safe. The elevator wasn’t waited for, he rushed toward the stairs carrying his sore body along with it, to the 15th floor. Jimin would stop from time to time to endure the pain but not more than 5 seconds. Nervously, he stood in front of the door with hard gulps, hoping to see the elder inside, but fearing from not being able to see his small figure in. 

Fingers pressing on the numbers, he let himself in quietly. “Yoongi. . are you here?” Jimin spoke in a low tone, wandering his eyes around the place with teeth biting his lower lip. The living room was dead as ever, kitchen empty but the bedroom. Sigh from relief skipped him when he watched the elder’s small figure curling on his bed, without any blanket on to warm him. His feet weren’t going to rush until he heard slight coughs escaping the former, arms tightening around himself. “Yoongi?” Jimin sat at the edge of the bed, hand stretched to Yoongi’s head as he brushed his vain hair away from his face. His touch was responded with a slight move from the former, body trembling steady, red nose and white lips. “What happened to you!” The younger ended his words with low whimpers, hands turned Yoongi on his back but he was refusing, as if someone was insisted to throw him in a middle of a snowy storm. 

When Yoongi opened his eyes slightly, he noticed nothing but a familiar figure with his hazy gaze. The orange color told him he was with Jimin. But how? How did he know he was here? And when did he leave the hospital? Yoongi wondered in his inner, when one hand stretched he gulped the moment it was grabbed. He was cold, blood stopped running in his veins as they were iced there, nails turned to dim purple as he felt kisses planting there. “Why are you so cold!” Jimin couldn’t stop himself from pulling the poor man to his body, shoved his hands inside his coat and shifted him to his lap, arms wrapped around him firmly. “I-I’m . . so . . c-c-cold.” The weak words made him curse in his inner. “You idiot! Why did you sleep here like this!” Jimin sounded angry at the same time there was a concerned tone in his voice. His coat was off, covered the elder with it before he pulls him back to his chest, rubbing his upper arm with his palm. 

Buttons of his shirt were opened, with his small hand he shoved Yoongi’s cold hand in his shirt. The moment it touched his skin he tensed from the frozen limbs. “W-What are you doing . . ?” The latter asked almost whispering, gripping into Jimin’s body when he was lifted in his arms. Everything happened was forgotten, Jimin didn’t care about anything, all he wanted was to warm Yoongi and keep him in his embrace until he feels better. To the bathroom he carried him, turned on the hot water to let the steam take over the whole room they were in. “Don’t talk.” Jimin let his head rest on his shoulder, side of his body against his torso. As if they were in a place surrounded with fog, the bathroom was the same, it was moisture and filled with steam, easy for the elder’s trembles to cool down along with the warmth of Jimin’s body. 

Coughs were burning his throat as he coughed again pressing himself closer and closer to the younger. When it was easy for him to speak again, he never let the chance slip away from him one more time. “Jimin, I’m so sorry.” Whispered words echoed in the latter’s ears, tightening his arms around the elder. “Don’t apologize, I’m the one who’s sorry I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” Jimin leaned his head, pressed his puffy lips on the former’s head as he planted a deep kiss. 

“I deserved it.” 

“No you don’t. I think we need to talk about a lot of things, Yoongi.” The line sent shiver down the elder’s spine. When is he going to start and when he is going to end? He asked himself. His body started to warm down, relaxed against the younger’s body. The air was slowly easy to breath between them again, the wall that was built between them broke down by the both of them. “Why didn’t you go back home?” Jimin lifted one hand to Yoongi’s bright hair, drowning his fingers in as he started to caress gently. 

“I thought you’d kick me out after what happened.” 

“I will never dare. We could have talked about it and that’s it.” 

Heart relaxed, Yoongi closed his eyes suavely. When he sneezed the younger let go of him, done the buttons in his coat and wrapped his scarf around his pale neck. “You caught a cold.” He almost whispered, got on his feet with the elder when his shivers gave up on shaking him. Jimin scent, it was framing him like a wall, so convenient to his nose to smell every single day. “We are not staying in this empty place, let’s go back.” The younger fixed the scarf perfectly, made sure Yoongi was warm before he lifts him in his arms again. “Put me down I can walk!” But there was no reply from Jimin, even if Yoongi wanted to walk, it would be better that he carried him. Arms around Jimin’s neck, settled there lazily. The cold air didn’t manage to hit Yoongi, the car was parked near the main door of the building as he was placed down in the passenger seat softly. Kiss on his temple was on the way when Jimin pulled himself back, walked to the other door and sank in. 

“Do you feel better today?” The elder asked, sneezed the next second. Lower lip was bitten when the former stretched one hand, wanting to hold his pale hand before they drive back home. Yoongi didn’t hesitate, after few seconds he moved his hand to Jimin’s. Intertwined fingers together with eyes glued to the front. Strong hands that beat Jooheon, Yoongi worshipped them. “Kind of.” The younger replied, drove with one hand in the busy streets in the middle of the day, he would caress the soft skin with his thumb from time to time and stare at his sick boyfriend when traffic lights turns red. The ride was singing silence. slight coughs would be heard but then there was silence again. Underneath the building, in the parking lot Jimin parked Jungkook’s car, pulled his sweaty hand away from Yoongi’s as he opened the passenger door to help the elder out. 

This time, Yoongi refused to be carried all the way to their apartment, he tangled his arm with Jimin’s until they let themselves in through the door. Jimin, Jimin, Jimin, he was everywhere, by Yoongi’s side, his scent filling the whole apartment, few pictures in frames placed here and there and in the bedroom as well. The elder liked it, he was encompassed by him. On the couch he laid, closed his eyes when he shifted on his side, wanting to sleep for half an hour at least, with warmth this time. “I’m going to make you some soup.” Jimin smiled slightly, brought a thick blanket as he covered the latter till his neck. 

“No, I don’t want anything. Stay here.” Yoongi grabbed the former’s wrist, insisted about him staying by his side since he felt weak and tired. By his side, the younger sat. hand on his head, stroking gently. Huge windows allowed their eyes to stare back at the blue and white sky, clouds were crowding slowly with every hour. When Yoongi couldn’t sleep, his eyes stayed steady on the window, gulping when he wanted to speak, to lift his eyes and look at the younger but something was stopping him, feelings froze his actions and stuck him on the couch laying silently. Was something wrong with the air or he felt himself suffocating from his own thoughts and wonders? Yoongi asked himself. Spell was thrown at him; he couldn’t understand anything around him at all. Nervousness made his eyes roll up tranquilly, they stopped on Jimin’s glossy eyes, reflecting the sky outside calmly. 

“Jimin. . I don’t love him.” Brown eyes, dropped down to look at him once he let he words out, hitching his breath, tied his tongue again as he buried his face under the blanket. “I don’t know what made you say that when I’m already with you. If I still love him I would have pushed you away, rejected you.” Whimpers wanted to escape him when Jimin tried to pull the blanket away from him. Hand gave up the moment it was pulled down, face stained with redness. “He was tough with me, because I have a hard time speaking my feelings out and I stay quiet pissed him off.” The younger watched how Yoongi’s eyes started to swell, voice trembling with every word more. “After all what he did to me, I was scared yesterday. And when you told me to leave, I thought you were done with me, tired from me just like him.” The elder bit his lower lip, never dared to stare back at the man who hovered over him, hands beside the either sides of his head. 

“No Yoongi, I’m not done with you. I was just too tired and . . and when I heard you calling his name, it just made me so mad. I didn’t know you were scared, I’m sorry.” Jimin brushed Yoongi’s fringe to the back, away from his flawless pale forehead. 

“Give me some time . . I struggle whenever I try to let my feelings out. I can’t speak much, please understand this.” The orange haired man leaned, slipped his arms underneath the elder as he snuggled him, completely knew the latter needed his embrace at that moment. “I understand, that’s why I’m going to make you spit everything out to me. Slowly you’re going to get used to me every time more and more until you can’t hide even a single complain about one hair sticking out from your head.” Yoongi almost choked on his own strangled feeling of crying in his throat. Arms wrapped around the younger’s torso, he gave up on holding everything in, tears rolled over and over out from his eyes to the sides if his head. Jimin was doing so much to him, gave him too much already. 

They were tangling on the couch, afraid of loosing their arms a second, emotions filled them from head to toe. “You’re changing me.” The elder bit his lower lip, sniffed before he feels the younger lifts his head to stare down at him. “I’m going to change everything. Your fears, your bad days into paradise, your flaws, everything Yoongi everything you don’t like. Everything YOU yourself want to change.” Jimin meant it, just a bit more and everything is going to change from hell to heaven. Softness was clearly seen on the elder’s face, cold hands rested on the younger’s cheeks as he stared at him with his sleepy dark eyes, speaking to him with his glares instead of his voice. 

“What are you, seriously?” Yoongi asked, moving one hand to the back of the softness of Jimin’s hair. 

“Fay, right?” The younger laughed slightly, he was a picture full of life. The elder couldn’t hold himself from pulling him down, closer, touching his soft puffy lips with his. He kissed his laugh, his lips, his teeth, whatever was sparkling from beauty in front of him. Jimin wasn’t just a fay, he was a wizard with a wand in his hand, throwing pleasant spells at him. There were still few things Jimin wanted to ask, but it wasn’t the right time yet, he never mentioned mirrors to the elder, knew he won’t talk about it yet. Between their moving lips he was thinking in his inner, but not for too long, the delight taste of Yoongi’s lips shuttered everything in his head. Passionate kisses were deep, carried lot of meanings between their touches. “. . I want to touch you.” Jimin whispered, feeling how the elder tensed slightly in his place. 

Yoongi’s stomach squirmed, jitters in allowed his arms to wrap around the younger’s neck, pulling him deeper and opened his mouth for him, letting the warm tongue of Jimin scout his mouth. He has been taken away from the cold, heat crept on him from toes till his head. Under the high ceiling, low sounds were filling the air, sounds of pleasures and needs. Yoongi was humming, enjoying the puffy lips against his with fingers messing the back of the former’s hair. Hands underneath his shirt sent shivers down his spine, goosebumps all over his skin was clearly seen. When they pulled back for some air, the elder threw his head to the back, giving Jimin some space to rub his tongue against his Adam’s apple, jawbone and the back of his ears. The sensation was taking over him, he was sent to a different place, somewhere far where no one can find the both of them. 

Jimin noticed it, how Yoongi was quiet even when he tried to bite him softly. He was emotional and affectional, with heavy breaths but not with moans. Upward his hands rubbed against the pale milky skin, exposing his flat tummy and chest to the air, to his eyes that were filled with lust toward the elder. He leaned, collided his lips with Yoongi’s rising and falling chest, like feeble lines, Jimin moved his lips down till the former’s waistband, sowing ghostly kisses all over his torso. The elder let out a long heavy breath filled with pleasure, fingers curling on the former’s shirt that coated his shoulders. Pale fingers loosed, slid to the collar of Jimin’s shirt as they pulled him up, back to the swollen parted lips. 

On the carpet they ended when Yoongi rolled, pushing the younger down as he climbed on top of him, crashing their lips one more time in mushy kisses, teeth pulling each other’s lips, tasting every little corner. Jimin was supporting his body with his elbows, chuckled when the elder started to unbutton his shirt, pulled back to bite down Jimin’s neck. Head touched the carpet when he moved his hands to take off his coat from the elder tossed it aside, scaled to Yoongi’s back with head turning to the side. “. . Yoongi.” The younger breathed the moment he felt the pale guy’s fingertips touching his chest, moving up to his shoulder and to the back of them, searching for the scar he made as he ran his fingers through it, furrowing his brows for seconds. “Yeah?” Yoongi whispered against his neck, stopped his lips as he paused for few seconds, fingers steady on the back of the former’s shoulder. 

“You’re moving my heart with your moves.” Jimin spoke in a low tone, unusual soft voice. His upper body rose slowly, arms wrapped around Yoongi’s waist who was straddling him on his lap. For few more seconds their lips brushed against each other. In their place they snuggled, faces rested on the crook of each other’s necks with arms tightening with every second passed. Yes, they were in the same apartment, the same living room, but they never dared to let go of the beautiful moment, they wanted to feel a little more love, love by words and arms never leave one another. Yoongi nuzzled on the younger’s neck one last time, pulled himself back slowly to study the brown glossy eyes. They were calm, soft at the same time reflecting him deeply, the second he watched himself he turned his face away, got up from the younger’s lap before his hand was grabbed gently, on his feet he stood with him dragged him back on the couch and covered him one more time when the elder sneezed. 

Jimin planted one last soft kiss on the former’s forehead, lines his body with the blanket with huge grin on his face. In the end he walked to the kitchen, pulled out a pot and tried to make some soup for the pale man. Pieces of vegetables were thrown in, salt and other ingredients would make the former feel better. Stirring a bit and smile at himself the next second, happiness was taking over him from the thought of Yoongi even though he was few steps away from him. For some reason, he was thankful nothing bad happened after the previous night though. After 30 minutes, he poured the soup in a bowel before he carried it in a tray with a spoon all the way to the coffee table in the middle on the couches. Yoongi almost dozed off, pale hand stretched to grab a tissue from the box beside him. 

“Here, drink this since it’s still warm. I’m sure you’ll feel better.” Jimin pushed a smile, handed the elder a spoon before he throws himself beside him on the couch, grabbing the remote of the TV and turned it on. The same channel Yoongi watched Jimin on was still there, a live match got the younger’s attention as he watched with silence. He would curse from time to time or yell at the screen, feeling disappointed when the one he cheers for falls down on the platform. “What the hell just punch him right on the head!” Jimin was pulled to the screen, focusing on when the man by his side was giggling at him from time to time. “This is scary, how do they wrestle with each other like this?” Yoongi wondered out loud, placed the empty bowel back on the tray before he stretches and move, leaned his head down on Jimin’s lap as he closed his eyes. 

“do you feel dizzy or something?” The younger asked, feeling the former’s head shaking. “I’m going to put your stuff in place, would you like to share my room with me or take a room for you.” Jimin pointed at the closed door, beside his training room. There was a reason for his question, he knew maybe Yoongi doesn’t want to be in his room because of the huge mirror there. As he expected, the elder pointed at the door before he watched Jimin’s reaction. Maybe if nothing was wrong with him, they would have shared one room. “If that what you want.” The younger pushed a smile, lifted the former’s head from his lap before he grabbed a pillow and placed it underneath it instead. One by one, he carried the suitcases and boxes to the room. “Just leave them, I’ll do this later.” Yoongi scratched his head, with his blanket he stood to help the younger but instead, he was laid down on his bed, watching Jimin’s picture moving alone, organizing his stuff with smile on his face. 

“Hey stop doing this and come here.” The elder pouted slightly, it vanished when it was kissed softly. The younger sat beside him on bed with hand looking for the pale on to intertwine their fingers together. Without any more words, Yoongi was smiling involuntary, eyes staring the brown eyes that was staring back at him with fondness. “Hey get well soon so I can take you on our first date.” Jimin’s smile widened when the elder got up, stretched his arms around the former’s neck when he felt lights turning on in his chest, the weight was lightening every day more. “I’ll try, just for that date.” Yoongi let go of him, kissed his cheek before he laid back on bed. 

“Sleep well.” The younger ran one hand through his bright hair before he left the room, closed the door behind him quietly as he let his man rest. Yoongi sighed once Jimin left, when he heard a door close above him, he stared at the ceiling with parted lips. The former’s room was right above his. There were few things he was still fearing, afraid of Jimin knowing about his fears of his reflections, of mirrors. How is he going to think about him? Yoongi sighed again, maybe he just should keep it a secret for quiet time now even though he didn’t know the younger knows about it already. It was lonely, sleeping alone in a room even though his boyfriend was near. Stretched his in front of him covered the ceiling, he was trying to reach Jimin from his place. “Why does it feels like you are miles away from me even when you’re above me?” Yoongi wondered in a low tone, hand dropped paralyzed beside him as he turned on his side, pulled the blanket till his neck and sighed for the last time that night.


	14. We're getting closer

One week had passed since the last match Jimin had, his body was regaining its energy back. The same goes for Yoongi, his cold was leaving him completely, the marks on him were vanishing everyday more. In their apartment they tangled together, spent some time together and spoke till midnight about everything, anything crosses their minds. Louder, the elder would be loud everyday more, Jimin had had given him the freedom around him, like a free bird in a cage that was just opened for him to fly away to his real world. Jimin would sneak in his room in the middle of the night, burry himself in the former’s embrace or shower him with kisses all over his face. All this time, hours, and second, Yoongi never mentioned mirrors nor Jimin did, the elder was scared, but the younger didn’t know how to open the conversation with him. 

The flat was quiet in the morning, the sound of the steam in the rice cooker was heard in the kitchen, stirring seaweed soup, fresh kimchi on the dining table. Jimin bit his lower lip when he felt arms sneaked around his torso, squeezed him as if he was going to tangle with Yoongi in one body. “Morning baby.” The elder smiled, leaned to plant a kiss on the former’s lips when he turned his head to the side, to look back at him from the corner of his eyes. “Morning baby.” Jimin chuckled, poured some soup in two bowels before Yoongi took them to the table. “Oh kimchi! Did you make these!” The elder wondered, sat across the younger who shook his head. “Grandma sent me this earlier.” Yoongi hummed as a respond with slight smile on his face. 

“The one in the pictures?” 

“Yeah.” 

“This looks good.” The elder grabbed his spoon, shoved some soup in his mouth the next second. 

“Yeah as if you are going to eat much.” Jimin pulled away the bowel of soup from the elder, hand grabbed the bowel of rice and mixed them together in one bowel. “Finish it all. I’m watching you!” He pointed at the former who sighed, bit his lower and lowered his eyes. The air carried quiet silence, the silver spoons colliding with the bowels was only heard. Their mornings have had been peaceful recently, Yoongi would watch TV after breakfast or join Jimin in his training room just to stop him from punching the bags until he recovers completely. 

Water streamed down on the sink, Yoongi washing the dishes while Jimin was drying them by his side. His pale white skin was like the foam that took all over his hands, it was catchy, attractive and touchable, engaging Jimin’s eyes. The younger’s hands were itching him, lust to touch the former’s every little skin. Veins were pulling him to plant his kisses over his neck, his shoulders and chest. “Can’t we go out today?” The elder cut the wires of his thoughts in his head, turned his head toward him with a smile, showing his small teeth and gums to the younger. “You want to go out?” Jimin asked, grabbed a bowel from the former’s hands and dried it with the towel in his hands. When Yoongi nodded, Jimin couldn’t refuse, after all they needed some fresh air together outside their apartment. 

“Ok then, we’ll go out after we are done with this.” The beautiful smile on the elder’s face widened, he tried to wash everything fast and run to his room to get dressed. For the first time he found it hard to pick some clothes, he’d toss his pants on bed, throw his shirts aside and sigh when he couldn’t find anything good. It was different when it comes to Jimin, he wanted to look perfect with no idea how he kills the latter every time he sees him. In the end, he buried himself in skinny black jeans, black high neck and white sweater. His bright hair was quick fixed with his pale fingers, fringe covered his forehead and eyebrows. When he left his room, Jimin was going down the stairs, coat in his left forearm and hand doing the last button of his shirt. “Oh you’re already done.” The younger smiled, walked toward the elder with lips colliding on Yoongi’s forehead. 

Forehead kisses, they were one of Yoongi’s favorite. A single touch from lips would sent him to the sky, they touch his heart easily, moves it readily. “Oh I forgot my phone!” Jimin stopped his feet when they walked toward the entrance side by side, he rushed back to his room again to get not just his phone but his wallet as well. Wave of darkness blew by through Yoongi all of a sudden, even though he didn’t know how cute he looked but he wanted to look at himself, to know how Jimin sees him. One step and he’ll meet his reflection on the mirror on his left, pinned against the huge wall. A little peek won’t hurt at all. At the same time, Jimin went down the stairs again, shoved his wallet in his pocket and grabbed the phone in his free hand. One step to the back pulled him the moment his eyes dropped to the elder. 

The same pose, the same angle of Yoongi’s body Jimin once watched in his old apartment, beside the mirror with hand reflecting on its own on the glass, without their owner’s whole body. It seemed true, whatever Jooheon told him before about Yoongi fearing mirrors. But why? Out of all the things in the world why would he fears them? Jimin couldn’t guess, couldn’t think, couldn’t understand anything. The air was thick all of a sudden, they drowned in a strange lake together but far away from each other. When Yoongi took half step to look at his half body on the glass in front of him Jimin gulped, he watched his face drop down to the ground, the beautiful face was carrying dull broken expression. Pale fingertips touched the mirror, staining his fingerprints on the glass all the way up to his reflected face. 

“. . You’re ugly.” The elder whispered, but words flew in the air all the way to Jimin’s ears. He wanted to reach for Yoongi and tell him he was wrong, the elder was made out of beauty. Yoongi didn’t like how he looked like, what he sees on mirror was beast with gruesome looks, it’s not like he can blame himself, his head was filled with imaginations, illusions that no one would understand unless they were like him. “Baby, let’s go!” Jimin acted as if he came right at that moment, arm pulled the elder to his chest all the way to the door. “You dressed nicely and you look pretty.” He spoke in a cherish tone, rested his hands on Yoongi’s thin cheeks as he leaned to steal a deep kiss from his pink lips. When their fingers intertwined, the elder’s head bent down slightly, that mirror turned his mood upside down, but soon? Everything will be forgotten.

Since Jungkook’s car wasn’t between Jimin’s hands anymore, they walked down the street with silence. Snow was dictated over the streets, sidewalks and the roofs of everything. It wasn’t snowing but the weather was freezing, trees had nothing but shoots enveloped with thick amounts of snow. It was crunching underneath their boots, the sound was filling the quiet air around them. For a second, Yoongi wished if everything in his life was as simple as the snow, white colors since he was born, leaves after few months and then come back the next years beautifully as ever. Paths weren’t crowded, people must have been working in their places allowing the day to be theirs. “They are free, aren’t they?” Jimin rose one eyebrow when he heard the elder’s soft voice, looked at him pointing at the sky as he captured birds flying up high freely. 

“Birds have always been free.” He smiled, rubbed the former’s upper arm when he understood what he meant. Yoongi wanted to be free just like them, leaving home was something insecure to him, the outside world would suffocate him everyday more. Jooheom may show from no where behind him any time, drags him back to his own world and lock him one more time in his cages that made of steel. “You’re going to been the king of freedom. Soon.” As if the younger was hearing his thoughts, he looked at him with parted lips, fingers tightening with the former’s. “I can tell if you’re thinking, sad or happy from the look on your face even you don’t show it.” Once again Jimin understood his silenced wonders in his inner, maybe that was the only reason for him being so patient with him, he understands him unlike Jooheon who couldn’t at all. 

“You are scary . .” Yoongi joked, their arms tangled after a slight hit on Jimin’s chest. 

They crossed the streets, the building was way too far from them. Yoongi felt the fresh air for the first time with Jimin, everything was peaceful. From outside a shop something sparkling grabbed his attention, gravitated his feet to walk toward it with his ghostly steps. They were small diamond closed circles earrings that captured his eyes, he was watching with pale hands on the glass of the shop from the outside, admiring how shiny those earrings were. Jimin hadn’t noticed Yoongi had three ear piercings in each ear, they were holding rounded earring in each. “You like these?” He pointed, grabbed the elder’s hand all the way inside the shop. “Can you wrap for me these?” The younger didn’t mind how much they cost, as long as the elder liked them. 

“This one is from new arrival collection. I’ll wrap it for you now.” The man gave them smile as he wore his white gloves to take the earrings from their place. It was beautiful from close, two closed circles beside each other waiting for Yoongi’s piercings to hold them there. “Why are you doing this, I don’t want them.” Yoongi almost whispered in the younger’s ears, pulled his sleeve to leave but Jimin refused unless they buy the earrings. “It’s ₩327736.77 sir.” ($271.7) The former’s eyes widened, it was way to expensive to him, knew it was real diamonds but he didn’t want it anymore. “Jimin let’s go I don’t want it.” There was no use from Yoongi’s words, Jimin pulled out his wallet and gave the money right away without any hesitation as if he was waiting for the moment to spend some time on things. 

“Thanks for this.” The younger smiled, grabbed the small box and shoved it in his pocket. By his side he heard Yoongi sigh, refused to look back at him and walked in front of him with hands in his jean’s pockets. “Hey come on I know you wanted them. Here, let me put them on for you.” Jimin chuckled, curved one side of his lips and hurried his feet, fingers wrapped around the elder’s wrist as he turned him with free hand on his lower back, chests collided together in flash of light. “I told you I don’t want them, why did you pay this much for earrings?” The elder pouted, rested his hands on Jimin’s shoulders, the beautiful smile tossed everything aside, Jimin acted as if it was something simple to do. “Well can’t I buy something fancy for my boyfriend?” The younger leaned, pecked the elder’s lips before he handed him the small box in his pocket. 

“Thanks I’m going to keep them.” The elder smiled, after all he couldn’t deny how beautiful they were in his hands once the box dropped on his palms. “Beautiful. .” he wondered out loud, they were shining like the morning sun on earth. “Just like you.” The younger felt heat creeping on his cheeks the moment Yoongi’s cheeks were doing the same. 

“I’m not beautiful. .” Yoongi lowered his head, forehead touched the former’s shoulder slightly. He couldn’t understand why Jimin was saying something the opposite in him, but that was what he thought. Yoongi didn’t know how beautiful he was unless someone keeps nagging about it. “You are. You’re dripping beauty.” The younger chuckled, he wasn’t lying, that was how he sees the elder. With his small hands, he lifted Yoongi’s head gently, let his brown eyes to meet the elder’s before they leaned crashing their lips with each other in a deep slow kiss. “You’re so nice to me.” The elder whispered between their lips, arms wrapped around the former’s neck the moment they pulled away, allowing himself to fall on Jimin’s embrace. “I like you.” Jimin replied with a whisper, ran one hand through the back of the elder’s hair before he inhales his scent that filled his nostrils. 

“. . I like you, too.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, buried his face on the crook of the younger’s neck with hard gulps. When they let go, the latter didn’t stop himself from taking off the latter’s old earrings to replace them with the new ones. “They looks good on you.” Jimin pushed a warm smile, small hands rested on the former’s pale cheeks for seconds before they leaned for one last kiss. Yoongi have never been happier, the way Jimin treated him the whole day was as tender as the soft kisses he received. He has seen the real colors of love with him, savored the sweetest taste of it. Their fingers were intertwined, fit together perfectly. “What do you want?” The younger asked when they stopped in a café to get some warm drinks. “Hot chocolate?” Yoongi glanced at the younger who agreed with him right away. After he let Jimin’s hot chocolate slides down his throat he started to crave it more. 

The air was easy, until they turned after they got their drinks to leave. The elder among the two lowered his head, faces he doesn’t want to watch was right in front of him smirking at him with gales hitting him with lack of gentleness. “Jimin let’s go. .” He whispered, gripped a fist full of the younger’s sleeve to leave the two his eyes captured behind his back. “Hold on Min Yoongi.” The voice froze him in his place, like roses’ shoots stretched to grab his feet and stops him from taking anymore step. But they were fast to crumble on the ground when Yoongi stepped on them and moved on. “Who are they?” The younger whispered in his ears when they left, Yoongi’s face wasn’t as soft as it was minutes ago. “Jooheon’s friends- 

“Yoongi stop right there!” Hyungwon rolled his eyes, approached the next second with hand stretching in front of him to grab the elder who tossed his hand aside. “Don’t touch me!” Yoongi spoke through his clenched teeth, fingers tightened around Jimin’s as he dragged him away but everything stopped him again. With a loud sigh he turned to face the two again, with the drink in his hand he threw it at Hyungwon, he was showered with hot chocolate from neck all the way to his waist band. “You bastard!!” Before he was grabbed, Jimin pulled him away as they turned their feet together, rushing their legs to escape from Jooheon’s friends. It was all planned, it was obvious that no one sent them to follow the elder but Jooheon, in the end he couldn’t reach him one more time. Giving up was something outside his head, stubbornness needed no one but Yoongi again in his arms. 

All the harm he wrapped Yoongi with caused nothing but separation, knew how he fears him, if he didn’t show up at all maybe the two would be able to get Yoongi back for him. Back to the elder, he was slower than Jimin who was grabbing his hand firmly just in case he doesn’t lose him. Their running feet were mixed with Hyungwon’s and Changkyun’s, the city wasn’t as crowded as everyday they were clear to wherever they tried to run. Underneath the blue sky in the middle of the day Jimin was raging, his inner was boiling from head to toe with furrowed eyebrows. Can’t they have their own free time alone without any interruptions? It was pissing him off, he was happy with Yoongi why would they cut their tangled threads all of a sudden. He would feel the elder’s hand tightening even more, almost broke his bones but who cares, he has to keep him safe for now. 

“That asshole!” Jimin said while catching his breath, they changed they direction all of a sudden to distract the other two behind them. With hands on his knees he cursed one more time. The weather was cold but they were sweating from running around, Yoongi sighed, brushed his fringe to the back with eyes closing for seconds. “Why won’t they leave me alone!” Out of madness and fear the elder almost yelled, fist colliding with the nearest wall. “. . I’m tired. I’m done with everything!” Yoongi bend his knees, tried to hold everything in when the latter let his arms wrap around him to stop him from hitting the wall anymore. “Jimin just take me away from here, I don’t want to live any longer.” The more he let the words out the more he felt arms squeezing him. 

“Don’t say this, we are going to get rid of them soon. Be patient.” 

“I’ve been patient all this time, Jimin. Until when?” 

“Until you get your ass back to me.” Yoongi chocked on his own breath, his throat dried the moment he clenched on Jimin’s shirt. Not again, Jooheon shouldn’t have showed his face, his presence dropped the elder’s heart to the ground mercilessly. His heavy steps where the path of hell, Yoongi can see his dark shadows stretching on the ground underneath them all the way near his feet that moved away, wanted to run but the younger among them grabbed him to hide him behind him instead. “Hey baby, I missed your face you know this already, right?” Jooheon was direct to the elder, watched him through his nose as he never bent his head a bit. ‘Baby’ It should be called by Jimin’s tongue but no one else, the way it was flying in the air from the former’s lips strangled Yoongi. 

“And look who’s here again, this little thief.” Jooheon laughed out of sarcasm, straightened his face the next seconds before he tried to take one step forward. “I won’t touch you, so just come out from behind his back already.” Jimin can feel it, the way the elder was shaking his head behind him with teeth biting his lower lip. If he just peeked, he would be pulled in a strong storm that would pull him away until he can’t come back to were he belongs. “Jooheon this is the last time I’m warning you. If you bothered him one more time you’ll be stabbed in the heart right away.” The youngest furrowed his brows, clenching his fists to rip the former into tiny pieces until he flies away with the dust from place to another. “Well then let’s make a deal here,” Jooheon smirked, eyes steady on Yoongi’s bright hair before he dropped his dark eyes to the younger in front of him. 

“If I won the next time I see you in the ring, I’ll get my boy back. And If you won, I’ll step back and leave him in your hands.” Yoongi kept shaking his head, fingers tugging on the back of Jimin’s shirt from behind to get his attention and refuse this shitty deal. “Jimin no . . please.” The elder spoke in a low tone, seconds passed before he stepped to the front, turned toward the younger with hands on his cheeks. “Don’t agree to such deal, Jimin don’t please!” But Jimin didn’t hear him, since Jooheon is going to leave the two alone he may agree to everything. “Don’t listen to him.” Yoongi was trying, but he failed, pink lips were parted steady when he couldn’t believe the younger. “Deal!” Jimin breathed, dropped his eyes to look at Yoongi’s sad eyes. They were surrounded with gloom, disappointment and frustration. “I’ll see you when it means to be then.” Jooheon waved with two fingers, turned his feet away when the elder did the same but the opposite direction. 

“Hey. . hold on.” The younger followed Yoongi, grabbed his wrist but it was rejected, his hand was tossed away. “Yoongi come on, he won’t bother you anymore.” Jimin spoke with his feet moving, trying to reach the elder who ignored him. When he watched him lifts his hand to his face he knew the crystal tears were rolling down his thin cheeks like waterfalls. “You don’t know what’s going to happen!!” Yoongi yelled all of a sudden when he turned to face the latter, his heart wasn’t in its place anymore, worries would run in his veins with his blood. The moment he turned his back to the younger, he found himself on the ground with low groans. Knees scrubbed against the ground as it ripped his jeans, in his place he stayed for one minute before he was pulled up with a help from Jimin. 

The small hand was tossed again, behind the elder he walked with silence. He would watch him limping all the way back to their apartment. “Baby please. .” Jimin approached once they let themselves in, let his arms wrap around the elder even though he struggled but he was strong enough to grab him firmly. “How could you agree to such a deal! I can’t understand you!” Yoongi was angry, was pissed and disappointed the whole time. With his head down he was trying to push the former’s strong arms away from his body but he failed for the second time. “Yoongi just like the last time I’m going to win over him again.” Jimin tried to settle things at least for the both of them to cool down. 

“You said he’s getting stronger before. Why do you think he made this deal huh? Because he knew he’s getting stronger and stronger every time.” Yoongi finally freed himself, turned toward his boy with swollen eyes. “Yoongi-

“Jimin I don’t want to go back to him. He’s going to do anything for me, I know him.” 

“You’re not going back to him. He’s not going to take you away from me.” The more Jimin approached the more Yoongi was taking steps to the back. “You keep bragging about the same thing, but look at him he’s getting closer every time more.” He took one last step back before he locked himself in his room, avoided what Jimin wanted to say next, avoided the two who were surprised looking at them in the living room. The week he spent with Jimin alone suddenly felt like a dream, another wall was built between them as the both crumbled to the ground. Yes, maybe Jimin shouldn’t agreed to such a deal, no one knows what is going to happen later on when he meets Jooheon in the ring. “Yoongi at least let me see your knee, you’re hurt.” He tried but nothing responded to his words, with a sigh he knocked slightly, no respond again. 

“Wow. What was that Jimin? You screwed something out there.” Jungkook let go of the console in his hands as he stretched. “Shut up. .” The older ruffled his hair, grabbed a cushion as he hit the younger with it. Maybe Jungkook was right, he screwed. He need to make everything right between them before the next day. That was Jimin when it comes to people he loves, he would fix everything as fast as he could because he doesn’t like to see them down because of him. On the couch he laid, covered his eyes with his arm with a sigh. What if he lost? Yoongi is going to vanish in front of him? Questions never left him alone. Deep thoughts laid there without any hesitation. “I met someone again on our way here though.” Minhyuk started all of a sudden, eyes on the screen as he continued his game. 

“And where did you meet this someone?” Jimin asked lazily, he rose himself from the couch to sit properly with eyes on Yoongi’s door. Should he knock again? He asked himself in his inner before he turns his head back to his friend with surprise. “What!!” Jimin almost jumped from his place with furrowed brows. “What?” Minhyuk rolled his eyes “I met him when I took you to your last match. He was your last opponent, Jooheon.” The elder among the three said again, cursed out loud when the console was taken away from him with force. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Give me that back!” Minhyuk rolled his eyes again, stretched his hand but Jimin refused to hand him anything unless they end their conversation. 

“Don’t meet him, hyung!” The younger was insisted when his friend rose one eyebrow. “Why? He seems good.” The former pulled the console back with a sigh, the game was started again as he focused without paying much attention to Jimin. “Hyung just don’t meet him!!” He yelled all of a sudden, watching how his friends startled in their places. “What with you! Since when do you care about who I meet and who I date or love or whatever, Park Jimin.” Minhyuk threw whatever was in his hand aside, he almost yelled when he stood on his feet to face the younger. “Hyung trust me for once, he’s not for you. He’s going to hurt you!” Jimin gulped, the moment he stood Jungkook got between them with crossed arms against his chest. 

“Jimin you don’t know him!” 

“You don’t know him either. He’s fucking bad!! Why do you think I struggle lately huh! Because of that fucking Jooheon! He’s Yoongi’s ex-boyfriend if you want to know more, what happened between us today was because of him!” 

“Stop it the both of you!” Jungkook was trying to pull one of them back when they wanted to approach. Heavy breaths were in the air filling their ears, Minhyuk was glaring at his friend with clenched teeth, eyes wandering the next seconds to Yoongi’s door with curses in his inner. “Are you really fighting now? Should I consider this your first fight?” the youngest among them rolled his eyes, his hands pushed Minhyuk back on the couch with a sigh. “I’m saying this for the last time! Don’t meet him!” Jimin ended his words with a curse, fingers ran though his hair as he threw himself back on the couch. The air was heavy enough for the latter to get on his feet and leave the flat with anger. “Go check on Yoongi, I’ll follow hyung.” Jungkook patted the former’s shoulder before he got on his feet to trail Minhyuk. 

Jimin stayed there in his place, heavy head, low sighs, they were all mixed together. The sound of the video game was ringing in his ears, music with talks at the same time tiny voices from the characters. Eyes were staring at the ceiling before he felt warm liquid rolled down his cheeks, he was worried about his friend at the same time about the next match with Jooheon, and Yoongi never left him alone as well. Everything was on his chest like a huge mountain, stopping him from moving unless the weight was off of him. He didn’t know for how long he stayed in his place, staring blankly at the ceiling with low sobs escaping him. With his sleeves he wiped his falling tears away and pushed a slight smile on his, just to make himself feels better. With one last sniff, he patted his cheeks gently. 

Knuckles knocked on Yoongi’s door again, it was opened slightly but the elder was standing there refusing Jimin to go in at that moment. “Let’s talk.” The younger spoke in a low tone, watching the door opens slowly for him. Yoongi was there standing by the door awkwardly in his over sized shirt, sliding down his pale shoulder and covered his bare legs till his knees. They were white as snow, thin as sticks but at the same time beautiful just like his face. The earrings were still in his piercings welcoming Jimin’s lips to kiss them. “. . I heard him.” The elder spoke with head down, avoiding the brown eyes. When he closed the door, he sat the edge of the bed, heart skipping a beat the moment Jimin sat beside him. “Oh. .” Was what the younger breathed, his fight with his friend was all heard then. 

“I don’t think he should believe him.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, breath hitched when he felt fingertips on his swollen knee. “I don’t think either, and does this hurt now?” Jimin gulped when he heard a no from the elder. Gap of silence was between them; no words flew in the air for quite time. They would stare at nothing but the wall in front of them. “I’m afraid you’re going to lose. .” The elder bit his lower lip, reached out for Jimin’s hand as he grabbed it. “I really don’t want him to take me away with him.” On his back he was laid gently, teeth biting the inside of his lips the moment Jimin laid on him, rested his head on his chest with arms circling his torso.

“And if he did, I’d get you back the same seconds. I’ll break his arms and run away with you.” The younger spoke in a low tone with his sweet voice, heating the elder’s body along with his soft silky hair that laid on his pale neck and the free spaces on his chest. Jimin’s words what he believed in, hopes and wishes filled his chest for everything to gets better and better.


	15. It's because I love you

The room was wordless, Yoongi’s sleepy dark eyes were glued on the ceiling, pale fingers interlacing with Jimin’s silky thick hair. Assuasive feeling was in the air, dancing around them. Their laying bodies were calming their heart down, Jimin’s closed eyes, arms and the warmth of his body, were all dragging the elder to their own secret place. From the sky he was falling, holding the younger in his arms with angelic smile on his beautiful face. Sweet deep voice called Jimin’s name, allowing his head to lift with eyes dropping to the former’s glossy eyes. Once the younger ran one hand through Yoongi’s fringe and settled on his cheek, he knew the sedative snow was falling down to collide with the ground. “. . what?” Jimin bit his lower lip, letting their bare foreheads meet together.

“I don’t know . . it’s just, I’m sorry about before.” Yoongi lifted his hands, rubbed them against the younger’s torso all the way to his chest, pushing him off of him gently. “I forgot to give you something.” When he got up from bed, Jimin smiled slightly with eyes wandering toward the former. Shirts weren’t as neat as he expected, jeans were wrapped around each other in there. Drawer was opened, white box with blue ribbon was between the elder’s hands when he walked back to the younger. With crossed legs back on bed, he handed Jimin what he bought for him before. It was the right time to give to him though. “What is this?” The younger chuckled, rubbed his nape and leaned for a quick peck on the former’s thin cheek. His small fingers were pulling the blue ribbon as it vanished when it became back to its original shape, a thin wrap.

When the white box was opened, Yoongi scratched his head, his lower lip was bitten the moment Jimin pulled out the black mug with white rabbit at the side. “Instead of the one I broke. .-

“This is so cute! It’s going to be my favorite now!” The younger cut him, his eyes wandered on the new mug before he placed it aside on the nightstand beside the bed. One minute of silence was there around them like ghosts, Yoongi rubbed his long sleeve together with eyes on the narrow space between their legs. The light in the room was turned off, curtains opened like red stage curtains and snow was the show. After all he was right, it was snowing beautifully as ever, flakes were like sparkles in the night sky, if they had lights they would be the beauty of earth. “What a nice view you have in your room.” Jimin spoke though the slight night light that breakthrough the room, allowing them to see each other in a dark but pretty way. “Do you like it when it snows?” he laid on his back, facing the window with arms crossed behind his head.

“I do.” Yoongi pushed a slight smile, laid beside the younger on his side, head rested on the former’s chest. It was clearly heard, the heart beats underneath Jimin’s skin that covered his chest. Beads of snowflakes were reflecting on their corneas, they would shift from their well aligned lines to diagonal lines, and that when they knew the wind blew outside their apartment. “Do you see how soft they are?” Jimin’s was low and gentle, when he heard a hum as response he smiled “You’re soft just like them.” His words were ended with pale cold hand on his cheek, the light darkened when the elder blocked it with his head. A slight lean from Yoongi collided their soft lips together in a sweet kiss. “And beautiful just like them.” Jimin slid his puffy lips against the former’s with closed eyes, feelings how they were against him. “And as tender as them.” With one last line, he felt the elder climbing on him, straddling him with knees on the either side of his body.

It was deepened, the sweet kiss they were sharing. Yoongi cupped Jimin’s face with head titling to the other side, pressing himself closer. It was touching his heart, every single letter the younger let out from between his lips, maybe because he was used to violence he never tasted how tenderness would be, and it was happening, the younger was showing sides he never felt in his whole life since he was born. Jimin kissed him back, deepened his kiss when the elder did, opened his mouth for the elder to control their every little move. Low sound escaped his throat when Yoongi flicked his tongue in his warm mouth, feeling every little edge until the younger’ tongue joined him. “Baby . .” The elder whispered between their parted lips, pulled back slightly to catch his breath. Hands ran on his back, down to his lower back and lower body all the way to the back of his knees, palms touched his thighs, lifting his shirt up to his back.

“Yes baby?” Jimin whispered back, his body was lifted from the bed to crash their lips in breathtaking kiss filled with passion. “Don’t be so nice to me.” The elder wrapped his arms around the former’s neck, gasped when they were flipped. On his back he was pushed down with kisses trailing down his neck, sensations came back to hit his cold body, to warm it and loop himself with the younger. “Don’t decide this for me.” Jimin almost whispered, sank his teeth in the former’s flesh to feel how he’s going to change his breathes soon, to hear new sounds he was waiting to hear, to let the elder show him how much he admires him. Fistful on the back of his hair pressed him closer to the former’s pale skin, he knew Yoongi needed him more to bite him without stop and send him to a different world.

“Shit!” The elder cursed out loud, threw his head to the back when he felt aggressive bites all over his neck, air hitting Jimin’s saliva that painted his neck as it felt cold. His heavy breaths were filling the dark room, hand gripping into the back of the younger’s fabric tight. Jimin was gentle and soft, his moves were meaningful, were loaded with emotions and love. When he felt the hem of his shirt was grabbed, he pulled himself back, tossed his shirt aside and pulled the elder’s pale hands to his skin to inspect with his cold palms. Yoongi ran his fingertips on the former’s spine, feeling how his goosebumps up high of his skin level. His hips were lifted from the sheet, brushed against the younger’s who moaned lowly, pressed himself down to grind on the elder too.

The elder tensed, lifted the younger’s head from his neck to kiss him again, to suck on his puffy lips and bite him. Jimin had had slid his hands down, back to the former’s thighs as he rubbed with his palms, moved them downward to his bottom. One hand lifted all the way to the collar of the former’s shirt, unbuttoned button after another. They won’t let the night end until they scream each other’s names, not until they show each other how much they love each other even if they didn’t spit it with tongues. Yoongi lifted his body, settled himself on the younger’s lap as he let his shirt fall down his arms to the sheets underneath them. His eyes looked down at Jimin, studied him before he leaned to pull those puffy lips with his teeth. “I need you.” He whispered, whimpered when he was push down again with hands slipping his black boxer.

Their bare chests collided, foreheads stuck together. The elder’s hands were on the former’s neck, they slid down his shoulder’s to his well built body, to his strong muscled arms all the way down to his lower body to unbuckle the younger’s pants and push them down his legs with his feet. He pressed himself into the sheets when the younger stroked him down there, flaming Yoongi’s body from head to toe. Jimin wasn’t wrong, Yoongi was responding with heavy breaths and parted lips, he was quiet even when it comes to make outs. It left his body, the black boxer with Jimin’s hands. Shivers down his spine hitched his breath, his arms were thrown to the back beside his head, back arched with a very low long moan the moment Jimin fastened his hand’s pace on his member. The falling snow was watching them; they would stick at the edge of the window there to cool the room.

“. .Jimin.” The elder called breathlessly, his hips were lifted from the sheets to feel the younger’s hand from time to time. His arms wrapped around Jimin’s torso, pulling him down when he felt his fingers positioning themselves near his hole. With a sloppy kiss he was responded, it was clear how Jimin was so into him that night, how he was waiting for this moment to happen between them after all this time since he met him. They entered him slowly, one by one, Jimin’s fingers to stretch him. Yoongi would bite the younger’s lips between their kiss, pull his head back to shove some breath down to his lungs. They were fucking him slowly, adapting him to the feeling even though it wasn’t his first time at all. He would call it his first because he felt loved in it for the first time, Jooheon would satisfy himself but Jimin was satisfying the both, he was loving Yoongi deeply with his bites, kisses and licks.

Low whimpers filled the air when Yoongi’s legs were bent, rested on the latter’s forearms as he leaned, crashed their lips together with his member sliding in slowly and gently. They rarely talked, their heavy breaths were replying to each other, mixed together in the room. It was the elder’s chance to wrap his arms around the younger’s torso again when he felt the pain in his lower body creeping in him. “I’ll be gentle till the end.” The younger spoke with furrowed brows, his member was slipping in deeper until he was full in. Yoongi had no other choice but to nod, his hand moved to the former’s soft cheeks as they rested there, his eyes met Jimin’s when they dropped down to stare at his panting face.

Swollen pink lips parted more when the younger pulled his member till the tip and pushed in slowly again, eyes watching how Yoongi’s lips would open with every soft throb. “. .I don’t want you to be quiet, at least be loud in this.” Jimin spoke against the former’s neck when he leaned his head along with his pelvis. Actually the elder was shy, he didn’t know how his voice would echo in the former’s ears, didn’t know how he would look like after few seconds more but who cares? Jimin was a pleasure feeling in him, he was gentle like his words. His head was lifted up into the pillows when he felt the familiar tongue lick his pale skin down to his collarbone and chest, Jimin was driving him crazy along with his thrusts. Member brushed against the younger’s belly, with every move his body would rock with Jimin.

“Jimin. .” The elder called his name, laced his arms around the former’s torso with face buried on the crook of his neck. Jimin was steady in once pace, his low moans would ring in Yoongi’s ears from his tight walls. Hurting the elder wasn’t wanted at all, for once Jimin wanted him to feel why he’s alive. “Jimin!” His name was called again, Yoongi rubbed his head into the pillows with hands on the latter’s muscled upper arms. Even though everything was a bit slow and gentle but he was in pleasure feelings, his prostate would be hit and that drove him insane under Jimin. The night was touching him deeply, every thrust had a meaning, every kiss was filled with passion, every touch was sinking each other deeper into one another. “Yoongi you’re so good. .” The younger almost whispered, moans escaped him when he felt the former’s hole tightening around his moving member.

The elder’s breath would hitch with every thrust, his hands were running on the former’s back, dug his nails on his skin the next second. They were reaching their climax in a gentle way, Jimin never fastened his pace until Yoongi told him he was at the edge. With few more throbs the two came together, in a perfect sync with names calling each other along with the falling snowflakes that were still watching them. The younger never broke his promise, he was gentle till the end and Yoongi liked it. By his side the former laid after he caught his breath, arms pulling him closer to Jimin’s chest with a kiss on his forehead. “Are you alright?” Yoongi hummed when he was asked, planted a kiss on the former’s chest and pushed a slight smile on his face. “It’s my first time I feel so loved. Thank you Jimin.” He lifted his head with the last word to stare at the younger with his gummy sparkling smile that touched Jimin’s heart easily.

“It’s because I love you.” The younger smiled as ever, leaned for one last peck on the elder’s lips before they tangled their legs together underneath the blanket.

 

✧✧

 

Jungkook tried. When he followed Minhyuk outside in the cold breeze, he tried to talk to him but the elder was a bit pissed off from Jimin. In the end, he left the younger alone as he walked on to the path he shouldn’t at all. Minhyuk still doesn’t know anything around him, doesn’t know the real world he was going to face soon. All he knew was him meeting someone new who got his full attention as he wanted to know more about no one but Jooheon. His feet stopped there, in front of the main door of Jooheon’s house since he was kicked out from Yoongi’s apartment, nervous from ringing the bell or knocking lightly on the main door. But when they met, Jooheon was kind of smirking weirdly at him, and when he told him he wanted to see him again, there was only one reason behind it. Using him. Why? Because he was Jimin’s friend. If he used him he can get his lost boy back. Maybe.

Just before Minhyuk rings the bell, the main black door that was made of steel was opened in front of him, just to meet the latter’s dark eyes staring back at him. “You should have called me you know?” Jooheon pushed a grin, his body moved to the back to let the former in with eyes scanning Minhyuk from head to toe. “I was going to.” The older said, allowed himself in the house with hands in his jeans pockets. “It’s late what are you doing here?” The younger threw himself on the couch in the living room, watching how the former settled himself across him.

“I just wanted to see you.” Minhyuk breathed with a sigh.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just as I told you, I wanted to see you.”

“I’m not for you. I mean yeah we can be friends but not more. I’m telling you this right now, I’m going to hurt you.” Jooheon was being honest for the first time in his life. Since they were new to each other, he wanted to be sincere with him. The broken expression the older showed made him got on his feet, all the way to him as he hovered over him with hands on the couch’s back. “Or maybe we can be something. You’re not bad you know?” He almost whispered, leaned to the former’s ears as he blew a soft breath. “W-What about Min Yoongi?” Minhyuk asked in a low tone, lifted his eyes to stare at the dark eyes above him.

“Min Yoongi? What about him?”

“Do you still love him?”

“I still love him, that’s why I told you I’m going to hurt you. If you ever felt anything toward me just push it aside boy.”

“But he’s with someone else now.” Minhyuk furrowed his brows, maybe he wanted to win for the first time and grab someone’s heart but he was wrong. If he was thinking about Jooheon, he’d find nothing but agony with him. To the wrong way he was heading without any realizations. “I know he is. That’s why I’m fighting. To get him back.” Jooheon smirked as he pulled himself back, turned his back to the former before he throws himself back on the couch. “But he won’t ever get back to you!” Minhyuk bit his lower lip the moment Jooheon glared at him with angry eyes.

“Shut up. He’ll, by force.”

“Why everyone so into that piece of shit!!” the older said angrily, got on his feet to hover over the former this time, hand on the either side of his head. “Is there no chance between me and you? Not even a bit?” When Jooheon shrugged his shoulders, Minhyuk got on his feet again, left the house slamming the door behind him. Why was everyone so crazy about Yoongi? He couldn’t understand anything. Even Jungkook started to talk about him now, he would talk about how soft he was, how he smiles beautifully when he’s with Jimin. Even Jungkook was admiring him, slowly. But to Minhyuk? Everything was the opposite. If he can strangle Yoongi, he would. If he can kick him to the curb and let a car squish him, he would. If he can break his nose, he would because all he wanted the sudden attention he felt he wanted to get from Jooheon who never thought about him but with his devilish plans.

 

✧✧

 

When the beautiful sun rose, it hit Yoongi right on the face. It was the only thing that awoke him from his beautiful sleep, the sleep that was filled with comfort and love till the morning. He was on his stomach, above the wrinkled sheets underneath them. Weight was on the half of his body, and he knew it was a beautiful weight that came from the younger beside him. Right beside his stretched arm beside him, Jimin was resting his arms, fingers intertwining lazily with Yoongi’s. Bright smile appeared on the elder’s face, cheeks stained with redness when he remembers the unforgivable beautiful night with Jimin. Their first time built huge shoots of their tree, they were sinking each other deeper and deeper in their hearts. When Yoongi turned to look at the younger, he smiled at himself one more time, Jimin was in his deep sleep with parted lips slightly and arms steady on the elder.

“Hey,” The former whispered, leaned for a peck on the puffy lips when the younger never moved an inch. It was such a peaceful morning for him to wake up with his lover beside him, holding him, giving him love with a touch of a skin. Yoongi sat slowly, hardly sneaked himself from the former’s arms. Thin arms were in the air as he stretched for the new day, it was rare for him to wake up before the younger, because usually Jimin would wake up early in the morning as his usual self. It seems like he was enjoying the warmth of the elder’s body. The room was cold when he let the blanket slides down his torso, Jimin was keeping him warm. His eyes wandered toward him for seconds, admired his sleeping face as he wanted to lean, to kiss the tan skin and eat him just like the previous night.

The mark on Jimin’s shoulder was getting his attention, guilt was still filling him. If only he controlled his actions, Jimin wouldn’t have been hurt by his hands. But at that moment Yoongi couldn’t control himself at all, he was out of his mind from the thoughts of Jooheon outside his door. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning, kissing the prominent mark before he got on his feet, all the way to his bathroom that was in his room. Warm water was turned on, streamed down on his pale body, rolled down to his lower body all the way to his toes. Muscled stretching underneath the steam with goosebumps all over his skin. For some reason his eyes would wander toward the door from time to time, afraid of the incident that happened with Joheon before. Being in the same apartment with Jimin was forgotten for few seconds, he would imagine himself in his old bathroom, showering with hands on the cold wall.

Memories couldn’t be suppressed easily, eyes shut tight with teeth biting his lower lip. It was happening again, the feelings crept again once more time in him. The door of the bathroom was opened and closed, sending shivers down his spine. He couldn’t move, not even blink, hair standing on his skin with hard gulps. Jooheon was approaching him, shadows blocking the light left in the bathroom as he whimpered. When his arms wrapped around him he couldn’t stop his struggles as he almost yelled in his place. “Hey hey . . stop it! It’s me!” Jooheon’s voice was changing, from deep to soft. When he realized where he was, he turned to face Jimin under the streaming water with surprised expression on his face. “You ok?” The younger asked, stretched his hand to the former’s neck as he pulled him closer to his soaking body.

“Y-Yeah I’m fine. . You scared me!” The elder clenched his fist, punched the younger on the chest gently before he sighs. “Sorry about that.” Jimin bit his lower lip, leaned to steal a kiss from the former’s lips, just before it touches it the elder leaned with him, lifted his arms to the former’s shoulder as he wrapped them around his neck once their lips touched. It was a passionate, filled with love in the morning with hands grabbing each other. Under the streaming water their bare bodies collided, lips moving against each other in a perfect motion. “What a nice taste first thing in the morning.” Jimin’s words were mixed with the sound of the water, chuckled when he felt the elder laughing between their lips as he pulled back slightly. “Shut up!” The elder leaned for a deep kiss, wrapped his legs around the younger’s waist when he was lifted in the former’s strong arms.

Yoongi wasn’t expecting to be fucked against the cold wall in the bathroom. But in the end he moved his hips, wrapped his arms around the younger tightly with mouth wide open. Even though his body was sore from the previous night but he didn’t mind anything as long as Jimin was the one inside him, the one sending shivers down his spine with butterflies in his stomach. “Shit Jimin!!” He cursed, head thrown to the back with fist almost pulling the younger’s hair from his head. Nothing was gentle, the night before was like a dream that would be dreamt of once, Jimin was thrusting in him with a bit of force but careful at the same time. There it was loudening too, Yoongi was letting out low moans with each thrust, he had voice after all, he can moan, that was the only thing in Jimin’s head which made him thrust roughly in him.

When the too came, the elder never let go of the younger. He stayed there wrapping his legs and arms around him with head on the crook of the younger’s neck, hiding his messed up face until he cooled down. “You’re perfect Jimin.” He admitted, loosed his arms as he kissed the younger’s forehead before he was placed back on the ground. They showered together, with kisses being stolen from each other from time to time. When the hot water was getting cold, they closed it with hands rushing for towels. Their hairs were dried by each other’s hands, Yoongi drowned himself in his clothes of the day while Jimin left the room all the way to his closet upstairs to grab some clothes with towel around his waistband. Yoongi bit his lower lips when he was left alone, palm rubbing his nape when he realized in which level he was with Jimin already. In one month his days were changing, what if he stayed the rest of his life with the younger? He wondered how hoppy he would be with his presence around him.

When he left his room, he heard the door of the entrance opens and close and he was sure it was Jungkook or Minhyuk. No one enters freely but Jimin’s best friends. And there was Jungkook with a wide smile on his face once he spotted Yoongi walking toward the kitchen, waving at the younger with his pale hand. “Hyung I brought some food, you don’t have to cook anything.” The latter spoke happily, placing plastic bags of food on the dining table. “Where’s Jimin hyung?” He asked, pulling out some plastic bowels from the bags.

“Changing.” Yoongi was still not open with the younger even though he was kind with him. Jungkook never tried to be rude, he’d always joke around and watch the slight smile the elder would show. When they prepared the plates together, Jimin went back down the stairs to join them on the table. He would toss some plates filled with food toward the elder, he has been feeding him like a mother feeding her precious child. “Minhyuk didn’t listen to me yesterday.” Jungkook started, watched how Jimin stopped chewing the food in his mouth with eyes wandering toward him. “He’s going to come back regretting everything I know him.” The former rolled his eyes as he swallowed the food. “Yoongi eat this.” He slid another plate against the table, throwing a smile to his beautiful pale face.

“I’m almost full, I can’t eat that much.”

After their breakfast, Jimin allowed himself in his training room, buried his hands in gloves to be ready to punch that bags there. Yoongi had nothing to do but to grab one console and try some video games with Jungkook. Call of duty was turned on, the elder used to play when he was younger and it seemed to him that he’d going to start playing again thanks to the younger beside him. Jungkook was crossing his legs on the carpet with back resting on the couch joining the former. The living room was lively with their sweet laughs mixed together in a sweet tone, like kids finding the happiest thing in one thing. They would take turns, when Jungkook loses Yoongi would take the console and kill everyone. “Hyung you’re so good in this!!” The younger was amused and amazed at the same time.

“Let’s play something else. Pick one!”

Yoongi didn’t know what to pick, the younger pulled out more than 15 games out of nowhere, lined them in front of the elder with huge smile on his face. They were different games, action, adventure, sport and more. What caught his eyes was one thing, a basketball game. When he pointed with silence, Jungkook jerked from his place to change the CD. “Do you like basketball hyung?” The younger chuckled, connected another console to play together in one team. When Yoongi nodded Jungkook couldn’t thought of anything but how sweet the elder was even when he doesn’t talk to him much, even when they don’t share anything with each other but Yoongi was loveable, he would be loved easily from his soft looks and soul at the same time. Jimin won’t be blamed for falling for such a man like the elder.

The game started and the two focused in the match. They didn’t even notice when Jimin came out sweating from there and sat on the couch behind them, watching how the game was going. “Pass pass pass . . Hyung pass the ball to me.” The youngest among them was filled with enthusiasm, grinned when Yoongi passed him the ball since they were in the same team. Between their match Yoongi was distracted, he would feel arms around his neck from behind, kisses on his temples made him chuckle before he turned to plant soft kiss on Jimin’s cheek. “Hey let me win this game, we don’t want to lose.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, scored the last goal as they shouted in the living room with excitement. “Hyung you’re the best seriously!” The youngest high fived him, was going to snuggle him but he was pulled away with Jimin’s hands.

“Do you want to drink something?” Jimin asked him, watched him stretching with a yawn. When the elder nodded, he got on his feet all the way to the kitchen, messed there to grab a glass to pour some juice. At the same time the sound of the buttons on the door were pressed as they heard it. Jungkook wasn’t surprised when he watched Minhyuk coming in, making his way directly with furrowed brows toward Yoongi. Hesitation wasn’t there not nervousness, when Yoongi felt his blood rising in his cheek with his head turned to the side he couldn’t believe the palm that just hit his face as he was slapped. The sound wasn’t low, but it was high and it felt strong. “Hyung!!” Jungkook almost yelled, gulped when he couldn’t believe what his friend just did.

“Fucking slut!”

Yoongi couldn’t blink, his eyes were glued on the former in front of him with pale hand on his red cheek as he couldn’t believe what was going around him, in a total oblivion he heard the bad words hitting his forehead with a harsh tone. His eyes shut tight when he watched the former’s hand raising up in the air to slap one more time. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, hyung?” Jimin clenched his teeth, tossed the latter’s wrist aside with rage filling him.


	16. Dark surrender

It all happened when Minhyuk went to the matches with Jimin. The first wrestle with Jooheon was the day where he met him when he came out from the changing room with a pale guy behind him. They almost bumped into each other, but Minhyuk took few steps back. When the match started with Jimin, he watched the former wrestling with his friend, grabbed his attention since then. After Jooheon lost, he didn’t follow his friends to the car but stayed behind. The former’s dark face had something in it, even though it was mysterious to Minhyuk but he wanted to know about it. Feelings weren’t settled in him, he was feeling something strange about taking one step toward the former but he didn’t care at all, his mind wasn’t in its place the moment he let himself back in the changing room. 

Jooheon was busy cursing, punching the lockers and yelled his heart out. His first lose wasn’t easy after all. With a bottle in his hand, he tossed it to him as they spoke for the first time. It wasn’t something important but how the match was and stuff. The next time they met were when Minhyuk was going to see Jimin in his old apartment with a box of pizza in his hands, but no, it was different, just before he left the restaurant he watched him dragging the familiar pale guy with him. It took him long to go to his friend because he wanted some beer. The next morning when he left with Jimin, he recognized Yoongi in the elevator. Actually he didn’t know if it was coincidence or not when he met Jooheon again in the ring, they talked for quite time and exchanged numbers, and that was because of the same reason. Using. 

They met from time to time and that was when Minhyuk started to grow some feelings toward the former who has already someone in his black heart. What got in his nerves was Yoongi, the poor man in Jimin’s apartment who was slapped on the face without any idea why. Minhyuk couldn’t understand at all, why was everyone talking the elder’s side? Why were they so concerned about him when he doesn’t deserve any of this? But his thoughts were wrong, maybe because he doesn’t want to get closer to his friend’s boyfriend. When his wrist was grabbed and tossed away, he couldn’t stop the madness in his inner as he glared at the elder with reddish eyes. “piece of trash.” Minhyuk never stopped his bad tongue, shocking the youngest among them who pulled Yoongi closer to his body. “Hyung stop it!! What’s wrong with you!” Jungkook almost yelled, his hyung was acting weirder and weirder everyday more. 

“Watch your tongue, Hyung.” Jimin clenched his fists, pushed the former backward gently with furrowed brows. He was pissed off, just like Jungkook he couldn’t believe his hyung, out of all people why was he the one who slapped Yoongi!

“Why everyone is fucking defending him!!” The former almost yelled, eyes steady on Yoongi who dropped his eyes to the ground with head bending down. “He’s such a pathetic mute bastard! A pain in the ass who jumps around bitching everywhere-“ The words were cut when he felt pain on his cheekbone, a strong fist collided with his face causing him to fall on the ground with teeth biting his lower lip. “I told you to watch your tongue! What the fuck is wrong with you to stand against him!” Jimin’s blood was boiling underneath his skin, hearing such harsh words about his man raged his chest. Punches outside the ring was something Jimin promised himself he would never do, but Jooheon made him move his fists, Minhyuk got on his nerve as he couldn’t stop his hands from punching his friend, and that made him kind of feel guilty. 

“Jimin stop it!” Yoongi approached the latter when he lifted his fist in the air to punch his friend one more time. He hated it, hated violence on him, hated violence in front of him, hated everything that causes harm, because he completely knew how it feels like. “Stop it, I know he doesn’t mean anything.” The soft heart in his chest would kill him one day, would bury him in the dirt of ground and choke him till death. “He meant every fucking word!” Jimin looked down at his friend before he curses “Is that asshole told you something bad? Did he hurt you? I bet that’s why you’re acting this way.” He spat at Minhyuk who stood with face, expressionless. “He didn’t hurt me! But I’m mad because of that asshole by your side. Why is he fucking important to every single one of you?!!” The former almost yelled, approached Jimin with fists gripping into his collar. 

“Hyung!!” Jungkook yelled in his place, gulped when he felt warmth surrounding his eyes. Their friendship with each other was falling apart in front of him, all these years together he never thought of a serious fight to happen between them at all. But now his hyungs were killing each other with their eyes staring back to one another. And what hurt him the most was Yoongi crumbling with words he was sure he didn’t want to hear. “I don’t like the both of you now. .” The youngest among them all spoke in a low tone, his face dropped Jimin’s heart to the ground along with his head. When his collar was released, he watched Minhyuk leaves the house just like the previous day, annoyed and pissed, angry and mad about things they didn’t know what to do about. “Why do you have to fight now? I thought you two would apologize to each other and tie as one like before.” Jungkook left the living room, ran upstairs all the way to Jimin’s room as he shut the door behind his back. 

The air was dead, suffocating silence was filling the living room as it went dead too. The two were left alone, standing in their places without a single move, as if someone froze the whole apartment. The first moving picture was Yoongi, moving his palm one more time to his red cheek with feet walking to his room. On the messy bed he sat quietly, pulled the blanked till his waistband with back resting against the headboard. Why was he slapped? What has he done wrong? He wondered in his inner. Just before he lifts his knees to his chest and bury himself in the darkness, Jimin closed the door of the room as he approached, crawled closer to the elder until their upper arms collided. “I’ll apologize instead of him.” The younger breathed, fingertips tried to touch the pale hand but weight on his made him close his eyes for seconds. The elder almost jumped on him, wrapped his arms around his neck with pink painted on his cheeks along with his gloomy face. 

“I-It’s my fault . . you two fought. I didn’t mean anything. . I didn’t mean it. . believe me Jimin.” Panics was escaping the elder, fists gripping on the back of the younger’s shirt. He was blaming himself even though nothing was his fault, all he did was leaving Jooheon and falling in love again with Jimin. “Hey hey . . It’s ok alright? You did nothing wrong, calm down.” The younger rubbed his back, cooled his panics down and squeezed him the next second. “Did I make something wrong . . ?” Yoongi asked with face being hid on the crook of the younger’s neck when he shook his head. “Why did he hit me? I did nothing wrong why does he hate me? Is it because I was with that beast and I’m with you now? I can’t understand anything . . why would I get hit every time. . my body is fucking tired; my skin is peeled off by them. I’m done with this!” His lines were the longest since Jimin met him, his tongue never stopped talking as he was letting his feelings out along with his warm tears that rolled down his cheeks from sorrow.

“Minhyuk was angry maybe because you were with Jooheon before. Well I don’t understand why he’s interested in him.” Jimin bit his lower lip, stroked the elder’s hair before he let go of him to look at his face. “ . . he’s starting to change.” He continued, leaned to plant a soft kiss on Yoongi’s red cheek. “If he got tied up with Jooheon, he may not be able to escape easily.” The elder breathed, wiped his tears and sat straight when the door of the room opened to let Jungkook in. 

“Hyung are you alright?” The youngest was direct to the elder, bit his lower lip with his head down, avoiding Jimin’s eyes before he heads toward him. “Jimin hyung . . What’s going on between us three? I can’t understand anything. You two started to fight and I can’t do anything to stop you.” His tone was sad, leaned to Jimin’s shoulder when he felt his tears in his throat. The air was thick and heavy, Yoongi from one side and Jungkook on the other, almost drove Jimin crazy. “I don’t want us to separate. .” The youngest continued, felt hand on his head as he looked at Yoongi with soft eyes. The elder’s soft side was showing more and more everyday toward him. “We are not going to separate Kookie . . you still have me.” Jimin rubbed his back with his small hand as he sighed in his place, between the two. 

The room went dead after few seconds; the opened curtains were letting the lights in instead of the dark atmosphere they had all three together. Underneath the ceiling they sat quietly on Yoongi’s bed, thinking and wondering on their own. “Baby . .” The elder let the word out all of a sudden, grabbing the two’s attention as they turned toward him. “What is it?” Jimin looked at him with a curious expression, wondering what the elder wanted to say. “I want you to be my trainer . . I’ll be a trainee under your nails. Teach me boxing.” It was a sudden shocking idea that froze the former in his place. And it wasn’t bad. But it may take a long time for a body like Yoongi’s to adapt to the punches, to build a good body a bit before he become a boxer like Jimin. Out of all reasons, he wanted the plan in his head to work out well. “I want to beat that beast with my own fists, please teach me more Jimin.” He bit his lower lip when he tried to read his boyfriend’s face. 

“Jooheon is strong Yoongi. .” The younger by his side sighed, the two shouldn’t be compared to each other. Jooheon can take Yoongi down with a single punch if he wanted. But Yoongi? Yoongi won’t be able to win over him easily, it would take him pretty long time. “I don’t care. . If I trained I’ll be strong too, I’ll be able to punch him and face him on my own.” The elder stretched his hand, touched the small hand with his fingertips before he holds his hand. “Please?” He pleaded, tightened his hand when heard another sigh escaping the latter. “Fine. .” Jimin breathed, admired the gummy smile the elder showed before he leaned to peck it. They slowly left the room when Jungkook passed out in Yoongi’s bed, was covered well before they closed the door behind them quietly. 

To the training room they headed side by side, weird feelings were creeping in Yoongi but he pushed everything aside. This time won’t be playing around with Jimin, but a serious training with him. He knew it would be tough, knew it will be hard for his tiny body, knew he needs to work hard to exercise and move his hands faster. Jimin’s voice was echoing in his ears when he pulled out dark blue gloves for himself and red ones for the younger, he was calling someone and talked for a minute. He ordered a training ring, and it surprised the elder for some reason. How rich his boyfriend was to order a ring for his training room? He wondered. “Hey Jimin, how much do you gain from wrestling?” The elder asked out of curiosity, shoved his hands in the gloves before he lifted them to the younger, to knot the laces. “Well I’m a professional wrestler so what do you think? Millions a year.” Jimin showed a slight smile, watched how the elder almost chocked on his breath as he stood there surprised. “So are you telling me you’re a millionaire and living in this apartment instead of a huge house?” The younger stuck his tongue out, never answered the latter as he left him wondering in his places with shocks filling him. 

Min Yoongi was a boyfriend of a rich man and he didn’t know anything because he never tried to know about it. “Well . . why would I live in a huge house when I’m just one person? I don’t play with my money baby.” Jimin answered him after few minutes, stood in the middle of the room with eyes staring at his man approaching. Seriousness was in the air, this time the younger won’t be as easy as every time. The previous times, he taught him defense and few of his own techniques. When the two took their stances, Yoongi furrowed his brows, prepared his fist and waited for the younger to give him the signal to throw his first punch. “I need you to concentrate this time. Try to read my moves cause all I’m going to do is to defense myself and avoid your punches, alright?” Jimin made sure the former nodded before he lifts his fists near his face. 

“Alright. Punch!” Once he ordered, the elder threw a punch that never reached the former, he slipped with gloves touched Yoongi’s ribcage. “It’s a bit weak, I told you to watch my moves. I almost punched you there if we were rivals.” They took their stance again, Yoongi tried to focus one more time with teeth biting his lower lip. “Weak.” Jimin breathed when the former approached again, threw on more punch but he blocked with fist underneath the elder’s pale chin. “I would have punched you there.” Yoongi sighed, clenched his fists inside the gloves with pellets of sweat started to show on his forehead and temples. “Weak.” Jimin said again the moment Yoongi tried to punch the side of his body as he was taken down to the ground with Jimin straddling him. “You’d be unconscious if I punched your head as a punch back.” He breathed with eyes staring down at the elder under him trying to catch his breath. 

“Get up. I’ll throw punches at you this time, try to avoid them like what I taught you before.” Fists back near his face, toes rubbing against the floor to take his stance properly. Yoongi gulped, beads of sweat rolled down his face and neck all the way to his back. In the end, it wasn’t as easy as he thought. Boxing was something difficult for him. Once Jimin moved, his forearms covered up his face and head to block the upcoming punch. Jimin’s gloves touched his forearms softly before he pulls back with a sigh. “Not good, if you keep covering just your face you won’t be able to defend yourself till the end.” Yoongi sighed loudly, bend down on the ground to take some rest with arms wide open on the floor. “I’m just a beginner don’t be so tough with me.” He spoke breathlessly, wiped his sweat with his forearm and stared up at the high ceiling above them. 

“Nah, if I began with you easily you won’t be strong in the end. Being tough from the beginning is better.” The younger took off his gloves, left the room all the way to the kitchen to grab bottles of water. His eyes never tried to drop nor stare at something else, when he came back and watched the way Yoongi was laying on the ground with eyes staring at the ceiling blankly. His parted pink lips, short eyelashes and dark eyes, his edgy jawline and perfect face from the side. Yoongi was beautiful when he was dripping sweat, when he was doing nothing but laying there on the floor, was an ineffable piece of art, indescribable glorious elegant man. If he could stare at him for years he won’t get enough from him, the love he fell for was getting deeper and deeper and deeper. His feet stopped behind the former’s head, blocking Yoongi’s view as he stared back at Jimin instead above him, getting closer to his face until he felt his lips locked between his. 

Yoongi watched nothing but the tan neck, felt numb under the younger’s sudden contact as he responded with parting lips. Jimin was drying his throat even more than what it already was. “. . beautiful.” The elder stopped moving his lips when he heard the low whisper between their lips. “Fucking beautiful!” The younger couldn’t resist, couldn’t stop his tongue from admitting the elder’s beauty in his eyes. The gloves in the pale hands were taken off, those puffy lips were irresistible, hands rested on the younger’s nape as he pulled him closer for another kiss. “Yoongi you’re so beautiful.” Jimin never stopped his tongue and Yoongi wished if he can stop him instead, because what he heard were lies to him. He completely knew how ugly he was, mirrors and reflections were telling him everything, but that was untrue. Yoongi was judging himself on his own. 

“Lies . .” He breathed, pulled the younger’s head away as he got up, faced him up straight and leaned one more time to steal another kiss. The younger rolled his eyes before he closes his eyes to response right away. Nothing was a lie, just because Yoongi never believed in beauty that doesn’t mean others does too. Arms were wrapped tightly around the younger’s sweaty neck, legs straddled him with tongue sliding in his mouth with low sweet sounds. From the ground Yoongi was lifted, wrapped his legs around Jimin’s waist with sloppy kisses steady all the way out to the living room, on the couch. “We can’t . . Jungkook is here.” Yoongi spoke in a low tone when hungry lips sucked on his neck. “I can’t take my hands off of you now.” Jimin bit roughly on the pale neck, slid his hands underneath his shirt to feel the soft skin. 

It was distracting, interruption when the elder’s phone started to vibrates in his pocket, furrowing the younger’s brows with wrinkles in between. “. . sorry.” Yoongi breathed, pushed the younger slightly as he sat on the couch with hand taking out his phone out. Was it a wave of murk or a dark surrender? The name popped on his screen burst his heart out of his chest all of a sudden as he gulped. Out of all moment, and times and hours, why did Jooheon call him in the evening? Yoongi couldn’t move his fingers, eyes steady on the screen which made the man by his side curious about the phone call. “Why don’t you answer?” Jimin rose one eyebrow, tried to lean when the former locked his screen to let the vibration stops. “It’s not something important.” Yoongi threw his phone beside him when the former leaned for another slight touch but stopped midway the moment Yoongi’s phone started ringing again. 

“Just pick it up already.” The younger sighed, scratched his head when the latter walked away toward the kitchen. Nervousness was eating Yoongi, hand rubbed his neck as he panicked. But he knew after all if he didn’t pick up, Jooheon will burn his phone until it explodes from his calls. The kitchen was filled with his heavy steps, walking in circles with hand in his head. Silence was escaping him as his usual self the moment he answered. “What took you so long to answer ” The familiar voice in the other line sent shivers down his spine, fingers running through his bright hair. “What do you want?” Yoongi spoke coldly, cursed in his inner when his eyes captured the younger standing in front of him with crossed arms against his chest. “What do you mean what I want? I’m outside. Come out I want to talk to you.” He was shaking his head even though the former couldn’t see him at all. His heart would leave his chest from pounding the moment Jimin took steps closer toward him. 

“Yoongi I just want to see you. I promise I won’t even touch you. Just let me see your face at least and then go back in.” 

“I don’t want. .” Yoongi closed his eyes, leaned on a soft touch on his cheek with saliva swallowed down his throat. “. . leave. Give up. And don’t wait for me. I’m not going out.” And like this he ended the call as he hung up, threw himself at the younger with a sigh from relief. He hoped for his boyfriend to never ask him a single question, because if he did Yoongi won’t know how to tell him the one he was talking to was Jooheon. “Was this Jooheon?” Jimin dropped his eyes down at the elder who hummed as response, ignored the brown eyes with feet walking away from the kitchen all the way to his room. “What did he tell you!” He was chased until his wrist was grabbed, stopping him from going inside. “Nothing interesting.” The elder pulled his wrist back gently, cupped the younger’s cheek to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight.” He almost whispered, pushed a slight smile as he hid himself behind his door. 

“Give me this!” Jimin followed him, grabbed his hand again as he pulled his phone away from him strongly. “What the hell are you doing?” Yoongi spoke in a low tone just in case he doesn’t wake up the sleeping boy on his bed. “I’m getting you a new number. I’ll keep this with me until then, if he called I’ll answer him instead.” 

“Jimin-“ 

The door of the room was closed again as if he was locked somewhere he shouldn’t be without Jimin by his side anymore. The behavior Jimin just showed pissed him off just a bit, but that was for his own sake. When he tried to lay beside the younger in his room, sleep wasn’t there to drown him in his own dreams and world, his eyes stared at the ceiling again with ears capturing shifts beside him. Jungkook was moving and rustling a lot in his sleep, annoying Yoongi for some reason. But he found himself smiling, adoring the younger’s sleeping face by his side with slight smile showing on his face. Still, he couldn’t sleep without someone other than Jimin by his side, it’s not like he won’t sleep but it’s just bothersome without the person he’s used to his warmth. In the end, he left his room again, all the way up to Jimin’s room as he crawled under the blanket all the way to the younger’s chest. 

“I’m sleeping here today. Jungkook moves a lot.” Under the blanket they cuddled with a dim light in Jimin’s room. Arms wrapped around each other with foreheads touching. It almost hit 3AM when Jimin opened his eyes from his light sleep to hear the vibration of Yoongi’s phone again, making a loud sound on the nightstand. It wasn’t a call but several text messages one after another. Jimin glanced at Yoongi before he sneaks slowly from his arms to unlock the phone. 

From Joohean:   
I’m still outside. 

From Jooheon:   
I won’t leave unless I see your face. 

From Jooheon:   
Yoongi I swear I’m going up there until I find his apartment if you didn’t come out. 

Annoying, bothersome and irritating messages made Jimin curse. With a slight shift he got up from bed, making sure Yoongi never moved or woke up from his sleep. With his sweat pants and shirt, he grabbed a hoody and left his apartment, used the elevator all the way to the main door of the building to see a freezing Jooheon leaning against a street light with foot rubbing on the ground. Hands shoved in his pockets to avoid the cold air. The night was filled with shining stars above them, if there were no lights they would be lighting the streets instead from their strong light. Jimin stood one meter by his side, lifted his fringe with his fingers before he sighs. “What do you want now?” He spoke in a low tone, watching how the steam left his mouth with every word. 

“I believe I never asked you to come out.” Jooheon rolled his eyes, turned his head to the other side with finger in his ear as he was annoyed from the former’s presence. “He’s sleeping. And stop with your useless calls, he doesn’t want to even hear your voice.” The younger among the two wanted to go back inside but he knew the conversation wasn’t ended yet. “Since when does he sleeps huh? Yoongi is an owl since I have known him.” Jooheon sighed again, wanted to leave as well when he watched Jimin’s face instead. 

“Well maybe you didn’t give him the right comfort to sleep.” 

“Shut up!” The former almost yelled, voice echoed in the wall of the building around them. 

Jimin never spoke again, he turned his back to the latter with waving hand as he went back in. First of everything, he wondered how Jooheon knew where his new apartment was, it just made him confused until he laid back beside the elder on bed. Yoongi shifted beside him right away, grabbed the younger’s hand and drowned in a deep sleep again. “yeah, maybe he didn’t give you the right comfort.” He whispered to the sleeping soul in front of him, caressed his pale cheek with his free hand until he fell back asleep beside him. Jimin didn’t know if he even slept well, something was waking him up almost every hour as he would stare back at the sleeping man until his eyes closes involuntary. Early in the morning was the last time he opened his eyes, he got up to wash his face but didn’t expect the dark circles that surrounded his eyes. 

He laid back on the couch when he went downstairs, didn’t know for how many hours until Jungkook came out from Yoongi’s room stretching and yawning as if he was in his own house. “Morning hyung.” Jungkook laid on his friend who frowned, hit the former’s back to let the weight on him lighten. “Is Yoongi in your room?” He asked gaining hums from the older under him. The kitchen was filled with the sound of the knives cutting, boiling water and the rice cooker. The two was making breakfast with yawns escaping Jimin from time to time. The sharp voice of broken glass filled their ears as they stopped whatever they were doing. Jungkook had no clue what happened all of a sudden when Jimin rushed all the way upstairs to his room when he heard loud sobs. “Yoongi. .” He called in a low tone, the moment he opened the door to see his boyfriend standing in front of his broken mirror in his room, hand bleeding by his side with eyes lifting up slowly to look back at the younger staring back at him with shocking eyes. 

“Is it your first time seeing someone breaking a mirror?” Yoongi covered his eyes with his forearm, lowered his head when the younger tried to approach him. “You lied to me . .” He spoke in a low broken tone. Walked away from the former when he tried to touch him. It wasn’t a lie when Jimin said he was beautiful, but when he looked back at himself he was watching the opposite.


	17. Speechless

“y-you lied at me . . you lied at me . .” Shuddering. Yoongi was shuddering in Jimin’s room, hands climbing on his head, soughing sounds escaping from between his trembling soft pink lips. It was the same face, raven till his neck, unpleasant face for the eyes to see. When the sun dictated on earth, it pulled him from his sleep to rub his eyes for his new day with his boyfriend. But the mirror in the room was pulling him, telling him to approach, to stretch it hands and scratches him until he falls down on the ground dead. Just like leaves from the highest shoots of a tree he was falling down. The soulful words from Jimin was deceiving him, but they were real. Everything in his head vanished, forgot about all the beautiful moments the moment he looked back at his own reflection. It was a body without a soul, black, dried and shelled face and skin. 

Jimin wasn’t lying, his words were real, coming from the depth of his heart. But Yoongi’s fear made him believe on his own thoughts. When he looked at himself shattering in front of his own eyes to the ground, he couldn’t stop himself from whimpering and sobbing loudly. Maybe that was what he was, a broken piece from his inner all the way out. Jimin knew, watched him, and now he may think he was a psycho from fearing mirrors, but that’s not it. Jimin already knew before he noticed any weird act from the elder. “I never lied at you.” He tried to approach when the elder shook his head, as if he was not believing Jimin anymore. “. . you’re lying right now.” Yoongi clenched his swollen fist, smashed the small glass that was left there on the wall, struggled when the younger approached toward him with arms around his torso from behind. 

“Stop it!!” The younger was gulping hard, holding the deep feelings that wanted to escape from him. The sharp glass on the ground was forgotten, with every pull to the back he would feel his arms getting hit from the elder’s fists colliding with his skin. “Let me go!” Yoongi yelled, never stopped his fists from hitting the former’s strong arms until he was pulled away from the mess he did just in case he doesn’t hurt himself more. “Let me go Jimin!!” He was sightless, kicked the tears from his eyes with loud cries from his chest. 

“H-Hyung . .” Jungkook was standing by the door, staring with shocked eyes at them. It felt weird, the change of the air in the whole apartment all of a sudden. He didn’t know how to act when he heard Yoongi nor knew what was going around them all. When Jimin yelled at him to get out, his movement went on rush. The door was shut, all the way down the stairs he ran to hide in the kitchen with hand on his chest. “Yoongi!! Stop it already!!” Jimin tightened his arms, pushed the elder down on the messy sheets, pinning him with wrists above his head. “Are you going to break them for the rest of your life! What the hell are gaining from doing all this!” The younger almost yelled, waited for few seconds for the elder to realize where he was exactly, because he knew Yoongi was fighting alone, with his illusions and inner thoughts. “Why are you doing this, Yoongi?” He asked in a low tone, angled his brows in a sad shape with eyes shutting tight for seconds. 

It happened again, as if he met Yoongi all over again. Know. Strangers. The elder tied his tongue, never spoke, not even with a single letter. All he did was staring back at the brown eyes with his hazy gaze. It was hard for him to speak again, afraid from Jimin’s thought, afraid of their relationship, afraid of everything surrounded him. “Y-Yoongi . . I know you fear them. Those mirrors.” When he heard Jimin, he couldn’t blink, his muscles paralyzed, heart never tried to lift its self from the ground to give him back the life in his soul. “I know you don’t like your reflections, because you think you’re ugly. But this . . t-this not t-true. .” Voice echoing in his ears started to quiver, Jimin would stop to swallow his emotions down his throat and tried to talk. “Talk to me . .” The younger’s face was getting gloomy with every second, would be filled with sorrow the more Yoongi stared back at him with his dark swollen eyes. 

“Yoongi talk to me!” Crystal tears dropped from his eyes, joined the elder’s on his face as they slid down his skin. Jimin, crying, Yoongi rarely sees this, but it was a horrible feeling inside of him, wrenching him as he couldn’t breath. “I-I beg you talk to me. .” Head on his thin shoulder burst his tears out, Jimin was crying in a low tone, gave up on holding the pale wrists as he gripped into the former’s shirt tight. Yoongi’s silence was hurting him, it was painful quietness bashing him to the end of this would. The sky was falling on them, destroyed their place as they were landing into an unknown place. “Yoongi. .” His name was whispered in the room, whist against his fabrics and shoulder. Still no response. When the weight was lifted from his shoulder he felt even more heavy, Jimin shouldn’t have sat at the edge of the bed with knees pressed against his chest, shouldn’t bend his head down with low sobs, it shredded the elder’s heart completely. 

“If I’m not enough for you tell me. If I’m forcing you to be with me tell me too. Hyung if I’m not f-for you . . I-I-“ The younger had no meaning in his words, if Yoongi never replied to him he may spat more and more nonsense to the former’s ears. He knows, Jimin knows about him, that was the only thing dancing in his head. Yoongi couldn’t hear nor see nor talk, he wasn’t believing at all. For almost two hours they stayed still in their place, on bed, away from each other, the same wall was building itself higher and higher between them. The elder was on his side, giving his back to the younger who’s forehead touched his knees. They were aching each other and they were aware of this, Yoongi sniffed one last time, tried to turn toward the former to let some letters out at least. 

Throat burning him, tied the moment his eyes dropped to the younger beside him. Jimin was like a broken angel sitting all alone in a place were he doesn’t belong to, feathers falling down his wings one by one. When soft fingertips touched his upper arm, his head was lifted to look back at Yoongi, the silence of him that almost ripped him into small pieces. Eyes staring at the pink lips when they were parted to let a soft breath out, it was a muted letter Yoongi tired to let out but it was a failure. Jimin watched him trying, tugging on his sleeve with head bending down. “. . h-how did you know . .?” The elder closed his eyes suavely for seconds, opened them to stare at the sheets underneath them. “J-Jimin . . I-I’m not insane . .” 

Jimin didn’t want to spit Jooheon’s name, eyes steady on the elder’s lips, Yoongi talked. “I saw you.” Was The younger’s answer when he lifted his eyes to stare at the dark eyes. “I saw you staring back at yourself, telling yourself how ugly you were.” Yoongi was gulping hard the whole time, gripped tighter on the former’s sleeve. “They are lying to you. Mirrors doesn’t reflect our real faces or anything. Come I’ll show you something.” The younger got on his feet, grabbed the pale hand in his before he headed toward his bathroom. Twisted the door all the way in front of the mirror there, standing all alone because the elder refused to take one step more toward his fear. “Look at me here.” Jimin pointed at his reflection, bit his lower lip when the former stared at him through the reflection. “And look at me here . . we’re different.” He tried to explain by his actions, show the elder what he sees in the mirror is not real. 

“Come closer,” The younger pulled the former, felt how he was pulling himself back back he pulled him closer until their chests collided. “Look.” Yoongi was refusing, burying his face on the former’s tan neck. “What you see Yoongi is not real, and don’t focus on your face or anything, it will make you feel worse. After all you’re beautiful and I never lied about it.” The words echoed in his ears like flowers in spring, but still there were dead leaves from autumn flying in the air. “. . Jimin I can’t do this.” Yoongi lifted his head, breathed when he stepped outside the bathroom all the way back to the mangled sheets. “Yoongi I won’t judge you, I just want you to speak to me. Tell me why you’re afraid?” The younger spoke softly, shifted closer beside the elder with arm sneaked on his upper back to pull him closer to his chest. 

“Jimin . . I-I’m ugly. I’m faceless. My face is always cold and there are no expressions and emotions. My eyes are ugly and small and look at my body, I’m a thin unnoticed man.” Jimin was listening carefully, ran his small finger through the former’s silky soft hair as he planted few fond kisses on his head. “Is this why you always wear make up?” He cupped the former’s thin cheeks, lifted his face a bit to stare at his glossy dark sleepy eyes. They were sad, like a lonely broken wooden boat in a huge ocean calling for someone to rescue it. Those eyes were complaining, his whole face had emotions, his lips that was coated with messy dusty pink was afraid to move anymore to let the words out from between them. “Why do you think me and Jooheon are fighting for you, Yoongi? Because you’re a beautiful piece, a pretty young man with pale skin that attracts the eyes, small parts that I want to keep in my arms, protect them from getting any harm. You were born to be the beauty of earth. This small nose,” Jimin leaned to plant a gentle kiss there filled with love. “Those eyes,” up to his eyes he collided his lips. “They doesn’t need any eyeliners. And those pink lips,” he leaned down to press his parted lips against the former’s with a deep prick. “They are kissable, soft and I just can’t get enough of them. You, just you, all of you, Yoongi you’re an innocent beautiful soul.” No it wasn’t enough. Those words weren’t enough, Jimin wanted Yoongi to hear more and more. 

They were sedative, compassionate lines that flew in the air filled with love. Yoongi can feel the sincere words with whole heart, everything Jimin said felt true, they were true feelings from the depth of his heart. “It’s not all about appearance. You have a child’s heart in your chest, you’re emotional and sensitive and that makes me love you more. You’re soft and kind, all you deserve is to be treated like a beautiful angel falling on earth.” Jimin noticed, how the former’s face was turning deeper and deeper red, eyes soften with lips parting as he was speechless. Along with the caressing thumbs Yoongi never stopped his hands from touching the former, rested his palm on the former’s nape to pull him closer, to collide their lips suavely against each other and lock himself between the warmth of his strong arms, the warmth of his embrace. And it was granted, towed him closer, locked their lips and closed his eyes to feel everything around him. 

“I love you, Jimin.” That was all he could say, nothing more and nothing less. Gentle as ever, loved as usual, the kiss they shared. Their lips moving against each other with shallow tongues wanted to tangle together, lips that never wanted to give up from touching each other. “I love you. And I want to love you more.” Jimin whispered, ran his fingers through the former’s hair between their kiss as he pushed him down on the sheets gently, hovered over him tenderly, intertwined their fingers lovingly. Fingers tightening with his along with their deep kiss, they were moving in a prefect sync, nibbling before they suck on each others lips. To feel them, to taste them and touch them deeper. In sloppy kisses they pulled each other, gave up in their fingers as they wrapped their arms around each other, to squeeze one another, to deepen their wet kisses even more and tangle as one in one body. 

Yoongi broke the kiss for some breath, tilted his head to the other side and pushed himself closer until their teeth collided with low sounds. His legs were parted, lifted to wrap around the former’s waist as he pulled him down to crash their hips together. Jimin was supporting his body with elbows on the sheet, on the either side of the elder’s head as he pulled his bottom lip with his teeth. He was kissing Yoongi hungrily, as if he was fed just now after years. Moans skipped the both when their hips brushed against each other, sensations allowed them to touch more, to feel more, to fill each other more. In a rush their shirts were thrown aside, lips colliding with skin, the elder’s head turned to the side when Jimin planted kisses on his neck, gripped into his hair when he started to bite, almost scratched his tan muscled back when Jimin kept on sucking on his sensitive spot, just to hear one thing, the elder’s low moans in his ears pleasantly. 

“Jimin. . just kiss me there and don’t stop.” When the younger heard the words, he sank his teeth deeper as he bit him with lust filling his teeth, all he wanted to do was to bite the former’s pale skin and suck him until he changes his white skin into purple bruised hickeys from head to toes. After what Jimin told Yoongi, he didn’t care if he cried out loud from the kisses on his neck, didn’t care if the farthest person discovering on Pluto would hear him. For the first time he felt free, felt free to moan without any judging, felt free to speak to whatever he wanted without getting interrupted or uninterested expressions from the younger, felt free to grab his beloved man without getting pushed away. All the way to the other side of his neck he was licked, bites were digging on his skin as he felt his whole body burning, from the back of Jimin’s head he pulled him even more close to his neck, telling him with his moves to bite him deeper and rip his flesh with his teeth. 

Down to his collar bones he was sucked, down his chest all the way to his nipple. His back arched with hands gripping into the former’s shoulders as he threw his head to the back with a moan. Yoongi was gasping, grinding at the same time, he wanted more from Jimin, he wanted to be touched deeper. As if the younger was reading his thoughts, he felt hand sliding inside his pants as it touched his hard member, stroking him with moans loudening underneath the younger. Slight laugh escaped Jimin, lifted his head with hand steady on the former’s member to look down at the elder. “I like how you’re being louder every time more.” He spoke in a low tone, stared at how the former was gasping for air, replied to him with a pull in another wet kiss. Hips up to feel his hands stroking him more. 

Jimin slid his hands all the way to the former’s bottom, pushed his pants down his legs as he tossed them in the middle of the room. After he took off his too, he settled himself between the former’s thin legs, kissed his thighs with sucks all the way to his member. “Jimin don’t tease anymore, I want you in me.” The elder demanded, panted when he felt kisses trailing on his skin all the way up to his pink lips. “Hai hai . .” Jimin said in a slow soft tone, moved his arms under Yoongi all the way to grab the back of his thin shoulders. His eyes studied the former’s, watched him part his lips when he pushed himself in his hole, dry, and that hurt the former a bit but pushed the pain aside when he stared deeply at Jimin’s brown eyes. Drifted him away in ocean of their own, a calm one with sedative waves. 

Once he pushed his whole member in, the elder titled the latter’s head, leaned to work his teeth on his neck along with the slow thrusts he felt. Jimin was gentle but less than the previous time, he was fastening his thrusts with every seconds moves on, for only one reason, hearing the former’s moans in his ears. The sucks on his neck drove his beast out, his pelvis collided with Yoongi’s lower body with a bit lack of gentleness, they were turning him on, heating his body as he couldn’t stop his thrusts from hitting the former’s prostate. “D-Deeper Jimin!” The elder pressed himself against the sheets, wrapped his legs around the younger’s waist as he swiveled his hips. His head was thrown to the back with a moan when Jimin gripped him tighter, pushed in him deeper as he felt their bodies moving together on the sheets. Their gasps and moans were mixed together in a sweet tone, chests rubbing against each other with every thrust. 

“Yoongi . .” Jimin called him in his ears, felt arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him even more close than they were already. “Jimin!” Yoongi almost screamed his name when he hit his spot, pushed in to the same area in row to feel how the elder threw his head in every direction with loud moans. “Holy fuck!” He cried, scratched the younger when he pushed in him roughly before he pulls him in sloppy kisses. Sucked on his puffy lips, flicked his tongue in his mouth and bit him with his small teeth. “Shit Yoongi! I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t hold myself.” The younger never stopped, his thrusts were getting rougher and rougher with every second, every loud moan he heard, every tight grip and scratch he felt on his back. He rocked him, along with the bed. The room was filled with nothing but the sound of the headboard colliding with the wall and their moans. 

“Jimin hurry! I-I can’t any longer . .” The elder was shut with Jimin’s tongue in his warm mouth, hums between their lips were escaping them. Breathes hitting each other faces with pillows falling down the bed. With last fast thrusts Yoongi threw his head to the back with a loud long moan along with Jimin who slowed his pelvis with heavy breathes. Legs loosened around his waist as they fell numb on the wrinkled sheets underneath them, arms dropped down paralyzed beside Yoongi’s body allowing the younger to lift his weight from his chest to look down at him. “Is everything alright there?” Jimin asked, smiled at his boyfriend who smiled back at him. His damp bangs from sweat were brushed to the back from his forehead with the small hand, allowing his forehead to welcome the kiss that was planted there. “I can’t feel anything.” Yoongi answered, breathlessly. 

On his side he was turned with a help from the younger, to face his man with hands holding each other in the space between them. “You can sleep for awhile if you want, it’s still noon.” Jimin pulled the blanket on the former with a smile as he caressed his hair for quite time. “Ok. . but don’t leave my side.” Yoongi shifted closer, rested his head on the former’s chest as he ran circles with his fingertips on his tan torso. “When I’m alone,” he gulped, bit his swollen lower lip as he continued. “I keep imagining and thinking, and they would turn into illusions sometimes. I feel like they are real but they are not around me at all.” Yoongi ended his words with a sigh, closed his fingers when his hand was grabbed gently. 

“What do you see? You know these illusions, what do you see when it happens?” 

“Do you remember when I came to your apartment in the night? After that party?” When Yoongi heard hums he spoke again. “I heard you calling me, because I was thinking about you getting hurt if I hurt myself and that was why I came running to you. But they were only illusions.” Jimin pushed him down on his back again, leaned on his own elbow and looked down at the elder when he spoke. “Does it happen when you look at yourself in the mirror as well?” he asked, brushed the former’s hair from his forehead one more time. 

“Yeah it happens. Always. When I try to look back at my reflection, I would see nothing but black face with no parts. It’s like I don’t have a face at all.” The elder sighed from relief when he was able to talk about it for the first time. Not to Jooheon, not to anyone else but Park Jimin. 

“So that’s why you don’t like mirrors?” 

“One of the reasons yeah.” 

“Well Yoongi, I guess this is all from stress and deep thinking. Maybe you kept on your mind that you’re . . you know ugly and stuff. Your negative thoughts are trying to win over you. You said everything you think about turns into illusions, then I suggest you to stop overthinking and think about something beautiful, something that makes you happy. Try to ignore your bad thoughts, change them into something that makes you smile. Maybe those illusions would turn into flowers and angels, you’d see yourself different and accept who you really are.” Yoongi was staring at the brown eyes the whole time when he was speaking, believing in every letter the younger said. Maybe he was right. Maybe Yoongi was overthinking about everything and he needs to rest for awhile and change whatever in his head. “This will take some time . .right?” The elder wondered out loud, broke the eye contact as he looked outside the window. “It will. But I’ll be with you. I’ll hold your hand if you slipped and help you on your feet again until you are filled with me.” Jimin planted a kiss on the former’s nose with a chuckle when he rubbed his nose like a child. 

“You’re a wonderful man, Jimin.” Yoongi closed his eyes, turned his head to rest it on the former’s chest as he heard him hum before he drowned in the warmth around him. It was so cozy, filled with snugness. Jimin’s embrace, his voice, his words, his touches, they were all getting Yoongi on his knees, he was sinking deeper in them, surrounding himself with everything as they pulled him from the prison he was locking himself in. He found a way out the dark alleyway. Jimin did nothing but stare at his man, stroked his hair gently with eyes blinking suavely. When knocks on the door grabbed his attention, he forgot about Jungkook being in his apartment all the time he was with Yoongi. The youngest among them entered the room when Jimin wiggled his hands, telling him to come in. “Is hyung alright? I bought this bandage, his hand was bleeding before.” The younger spoke in a low tone when the older moved his index finger to his own lips. 

“. . thanks.” The latter almost whispered, lifted Yoongi’s hand slowly on the blanket that was covering his lap. “I’m afraid there’re still some glass in there.” Jimin unwrapped the bandage, cleaned the former’s dried blood with an alcohol antiseptic and clean cottons. Yoongi was wincing in his sleep, tried to pull his hand back but Jimin grabbed it firmly. “You two were so loud.” Jungkook grinned when he looked at the clothes thrown everywhere, got a hit on the head from his friend as he pouted. He watched how Jimin wrapped the bandage around Yoongi’s swollen hand perfectly and gently at the same time, just in case he doesn’t hurt him in his sleep. “What’s wrong with Yoongi hyung?” Jimin didn’t answer him, when he placed Yoongi’s hand back on the bed beside his body, he covered him well and leaned against the headboard with a sigh. 

“Hyung is so sweet. When I saw him earlier I kinda felt sorry for him.” The younger rubbed his palms against each other, bit his lower lips and curved his lips slightly. “He scared me but I’m alright now. Oh by the way, Minhyuk called me. I’m going out to meet him, do you want me to tell him something?” The former shook his head and sighed again. “Alright, well heat some food if you want. I left everything I cooked in the fridge.” And just like this, Jungkook left the room all the way down the building to meet his friend. The air was easy to breath, Jimin bend his head to the back as he took a deep breath. 

After sitting in his place for almost one hour, he pulled his pants up his legs as he cleaned the broken glass carefully while thinking about Yoongi’s words one by one. Yoongi woke up the next hour with stretches, Jimin was still there in the room, smiled at him once he lifted his body from the sheets with a soft kiss on his temple. “Feeling better?” He asked, gaining nods from the elder who changed into some of Jimin’s clothes. They had lunch and dinner around the dining table, across each other as they ate with silence. Jimin would slide some plates in front of his man as usual, telling him to eat more and more until he gains at least 2Kg more. At night they tangled their legs on bed, spoke for a little while before they sleep in peace in each other’s arms. The moon watched them through the closed curtains, allowed their souls to rest in comfort. 

When the morning embraced the city, Yoongi opened his eyes to see Jimin already awake beside him, staring at him with his sparkling brown eyes. “Good morning beautiful.” The younger smiled his usual smile, leaned for a deep morning kiss on the former’s lips and poked his small nose. “Morning. .” Yoongi replied, yawned the next second with body stretching until his feet showed from the end of the blanket. “Come on, get up. Change so I can take you out on our first date.” Jimin’s smile widened, chuckled when the elder rolled on him, cupped his cheeks before he rubs their noses together with a chuckle. “Really? . . where are you taking me?” Yoongi wondered, pulled his face back to look down at the younger with his beautiful gummy smile that skipped a beat in Jimin’s heart. 

“It’s a secret.”


	18. Dead sparkles

His arms slipped in his coat’s sleeves as he put on the last piece of clothe on him. Yoongi was full dressed in his room, hid his bright bangs under his black beanie before he took a deep breath. Nervousness was there in his chest, beating heart pounding from the thought of the first date with Jimin. If he thought about it, the date will be his first. Jooheon never took him in a proper date at all, and it was all making his stomach jitter from the thoughts in his head. Knocks on his door made him gulp hard, they echoed in his ears as if someone played drums, but it was over reacting from the elder, actually it was quiet slight knocks and no more. “Yoongi are you done?” He heard the younger’s voice behind the wooden material as he bit his lower lip, patted his chest gently and got on his feet with a deep exhale. 

“Yeah . . I’m done.” The elder twisted the doorknob quietly, took one step outside the room with eyes staring down at their feet. The brown eyes were staring at him and he knew it, they were breaking through him with every blink. Maybe because he was showing his forehead in a neatly way, dressing prettily for his boyfriend who felt his cheeks staining with reddish and pink and velvet. “Y-You look perfect!” The younger rubbed his nape, bit his lower lip with a crazy smile on his face, feeling proud for having a beautiful man like Min Yoongi. 

The air outside was waiting for them to suck it all, to inhale every fresh oxygen their lungs would handle. Like a huge panel, the sky was clear, sun hitting the earth as it sparkled the ice that covered the ground. The weather was still cold, it would send shivers down whoever walk outside all alone, without anything warm. Yoongi was dragged hand in hand with Jimin all the way to the parking lot, to Jungkook’s car that was always left there for the former to drive. Oh how Yoongi wished to walk that day, but whatever Jimin chose for them was always the best. The belt glued him on the passenger seat once the younger let him in first, being a gentleman as he ever was. Once they drove under the sun, Yoongi pulled the window down to inhale the fresh air, calm his chest and pushed a slight smile. “This feels so good.” He mumbled to himself, smile widened when the younger by his side smile back at him. 

The black beanie on his head was taken off, wind wrapped around his hair as it started to dance in every direction. “Just be careful not to catch a cold again.” The younger smiled again, as his usual self, so bright like the sun in the middle of the day. If only he wasn’t driving, he would have pulled the former in his arms, break his bones from his snuggles when he glanced at the pretty man beside him. As if he was painted on a canvas with a unique brushes and colors. “But the wind is nice today. I like it.” Yoongi tilted his head to the side, rested it on the door’s frame from the inside as he stared outside at the moving earth around them. His pale skin was even more white under the sunlight, like a man was made to match the ice color. “I like it when the sun and wind hits my face, I feel alive all over again.” He continued, chuckled as he closed his eyes to feel the blowing win a bit more. 

“You were born to see the light, Yoongi.” Jimin spoke, eyes facing the front with elbow resting on the closed window beside him, fingertips touching the steering wheel as he drove with his free hand. “You fit with the wind perfectly. The sun on you is like a bright path for you to take isn’t that right?” The younger was smiling the whole time, head would turn to stare back at Yoongi whose eyes were on the latter whenever he speaks. “Seriously Jimin, stop talking like fairytale movies and books.” Yoongi couldn’t stop his slight laugh, completely aware of how he liked the way Jimin would speak to him that way but he was a bit shy about it. “Hey this is just the way I speak. I can’t change it sorry baby.” The younger giggled, stretched one hand to pull the pale cheek and hear the cute groans from the former. 

“Do you want me to say more? Yoongi you are-“ 

“Hey stop it! Don’t say anything.” Yoongi lifted his head, covered the younger’s mouth with his pale hand with a slight chuckle, red cheeks and closed sleepy eyes. 

The car was silence the rest of the time. Yoongi was busy meditating outside while Jimin drove quietly, watched the road carefully with music playing in a low volume in his ears. When the car was parked, the elder undone his belt and looked around them. “Oh god! This was my dream do you know this!” He couldn’t believe his eyes, stood beside the car for minutes just staring at the huge fancy place in front of him. His dropped jaw was closed by the younger’s small hand, arm on his lower back moved his first step toward the art museum that waited for his legs to walk around. “Really? You never came to any art galleries before?” Jimin asked in surprise, rubbed his nape with his free hand, bit his lower lip and laughed slightly when he heard the elder answer him with a bit hyped tone. “Yeah man! I always wanted to see one in real! I want to feel like how to walk around in a quiet place and admire the paintings and other stuff.” The elder’s face carried a huge smile, the biggest smile Jimin even watched since he met him. It was a warming smile that warmed the younger’s chest. 

“Man, you even like quiet places. So you.” It would a quiet good place for the both of them to walk together around without any interruptions. The air inside was different, once they entered the smell of the canvases were filling the whole place, even though they were still a bit far from where they were. The whole place was white, walls in random ways were created, huge stairs that leads to the first floor with wonderful work from the both sides of it. Few people were there, staring at the paintings one by one with low whispers. Yoongi couldn’t believe his dream was fulfilled, even though Jimin didn’t know about it but he appreciated everything. That day would be memorized in his head for who the hell knows how long. The younger wasn’t hesitant, his fingers interlaced with the elder when they looked at the first painting with silence, they were unknown, strange paintings filled with different colors that made you stare blankly at it till you imagine what you see in each of them. 

That’s the only reason why Yoongi liked the place, to let his imaginations and illusions out on those paintings. Around him? They would move, show him some scenes and visions, dance around him and stain him with their colors to join them. He liked to imagine, but beautiful scenes unlike his life what showed him. The colors of red mixed with blue, purple and orange, they were all pastel were stained randomly on a huge canvas, froze his legs as he stood there, holding Jimin’s hand still with eyes staring at the painting. “I didn’t know it was your dream though. You know to come to such a place.” The younger spoke in a low tone, turned his head toward the elder when Yoongi did. “You knew now. I’m glad I came for the first time here with someone like you.” The elder almost whispered, tightened his fingers before he pulls he head back, trying to avoid the kiss that wanted to settle on his pink lips when the younger leaned. 

“Hey not here . . People are watching.” Yoongi whispered this time, gulped when the younger murmured he doesn’t care about anything and anyone. With another lean, he slid one hand to the former’s back as he pulled him closer gently, crashed his lips with the former’s between the paintings, between the low sound of piano playing somewhere else in the place. Yoongi melted, gripped into Jimin’s caramel coat tight as he parted his lips. It wasn’t wet nor aggressive, it was pure kiss without any movement from the both sides. It was a beautiful slight touch filled with love and passion. The sound of the applauses filled their ears as they let go slowly, turned toward the people around them clapping at them with huge smiles on their faces. Who wouldn’t like a man like Jimin who would kiss his lover in art museum, they were like a beautiful piece along with the canvases. Just like the aurora when the sunsets, their faces were mixed with colors from embarrassment, they held hand awkwardly after Jimin bowed slightly at them and moved his feet to get going. 

“I wonder how we look like together.” The elder spoke first, bit his lower lip when he tried to imagine the both of them standing beside each other, holding hands, kissing, everything. He wanted to know, maybe their reflection would tell them everything. “All I know is that when I’m with you, I look the happiest.” Jimin tightened his hand, pulled the elder into a dark place. It was marbled with shiny black, it was like a room with two doors. Few seconds and colors started to sparkle around them, reflecting each other on the black walls all over the room as if they were in the space, between tons of shining stars and galaxies. “Oh my god. .” Yoongi breathed in amazement, he was astonished by the lights around him with lips parted. “Wonderful isn’t it?” Jimin smiled when he watched the former’s face in the dark, lit by the colorful what it seemed like tiny shinning stars around them. “Hell yeah! This is so marvelous.” The pale man couldn’t blink at all, all he did was turning in circles in his place to look at every little sparkle as if he was flying in the middle of them. 

“You sparkle in my eyes like these light Yoongi. Such a beautiful shining star.” Jimin couldn’t stop his chuckle when he was hit gently on his upper arm. “Stop it will you?” The former rolled his eyes, but he liked it, every word Jimin was telling him, he liked every letter. Disappointment filled him when they left that dark room as he wanted to stay a bit longer, but the place they were in wasn’t small, he needed to move his legs to look at everything since he had the chance. The huge stairs were welcoming them, like two princes walking up to discover more art works and paintings. Hands sweating from holding each other the whole time, but in the end they didn’t want to let go yet, it a special day for the both of them. There it was again, the sound of the melody was increasing in their ears, a huge shiny black grand piano was placed in the middle of a round place with nature paintings. A girl with black long hair was sitting on the bench, playing emotionally with eyes closed as she was living the moment. 

As they stood there staring at her, Jimin leaned his head closer, collided it with the former’s who smiled slightly. “Now do you know why I like quiet places?” The elder spoke in a low tone almost whispering to the boxer beside him who hummed, planted a soft kiss on the former’s head before he answered. “It’s so peaceful, and beautiful. Comfortable for me to sense your feelings easily.” The younger dropped his eyes down at the small eyes, stared with cold eyes that carried true feelings in them. “. . too good for me.” Yoongi whispered, turned his feet away, dragging the boxer with him to watch at some paintings a bit more and left all the way out to the car. After he was seated down, he let go of the younger’s sweaty hand, watched him smile brightly all the way to the driver’s seat and breathed. “Jimin, can’t we go to Han river for a while, before the sunset?” Nods from his boyfriend got him on his toes, he was excited to see the colorful aurora with the younger. 

“Don’t you want something to drink?” Jimin wondered. 

“Maybe later.” 

The drive was quiet, the river was a bit far from the art museum they were in but who cares, Yoongi wanted to go there so it’ll be granted. The road wasn’t fun as much as the elder’s eyes were dancing on Jimin the whole ride, fingertip caressing the end of his hair that was on his nape. “. . thanks.” He shifted from his seat, forgetting about them driving in the middle of the street with lips colliding with Jimin’s cheek, free hand rested on the former’s free cheek as he kissed his ear and jawline. “Yoongi I’m driving!” The boxer focused on the road, tried to ignore the former’s lips on his skin but he failed. On the side he pulled the car, pressed on the brakes before he pulls the elder on his lap, crashing their lips together in a deep passionate kiss. Yoongi legs were stretched all the way to the passenger seat, arm managed to rest on the former’s shoulders with his fingers running on the silky orange hair. 

“What was . . that thanks for?” The younger tried to talk between their moving lips, pulled Yoongi closer with arms wrapping around him. “For taking me to that beautiful place.” The elder pulled back, rested his forehead on the former’s as he laughed in a low tone. Jumped back on the passenger seat with his gummy smile steady, hand wrapping around Jimin’s arm when the younger started to drive again. “You deserve to be taken to every single pretty place. You fit there though.” The boxer felt the hand on him tightening, pinching him the next second as he pulled his arm back hastily. “Ouch! Did you just pinch me?” He pouted cutely, heard a chuckle beside him as he pushed out another smile. 

“I told you to stop saying such things.” 

“But I’m saying the truth man.” 

The next time Jimin pressed on the brakes was when they reached the river. Felt light on his chest when his pale boyfriend opened the door hastily, ran toward the rails that overlooked at the river with sparking eyes. His back collided with the car as he watched Yoongi staring down at the calm water, took his phone out to take a quick picture of him from behind before he approached, joining him with that same smile. “Let’s stay here till night to see the fountain.” The elder bit his lower lip, opened his chest a bit to let the fresh air enters his lungs. “You seem like it’s your first time in your whole life leaving the house, Yoongi.” The soft voice beside him made him sigh lowly. It was because he never tried to leave his apartment unless he had something to do or get him new clothes. And going out with Jimin was like the perfect time to let his energy out with him. His first date was a wonderful day he wanted to keep in his head. 

“Will you believe me if I told you this is my first date?” He asked the question in his head out loud, looked at the younger from the corner of his eyes who turned toward him with a surprised expression. “What are you talking about? You used to date Joohoen.” Jimin was confused, scratched his head as he rose one eyebrow. “True.” The elder sighed again “But he never took me out like this. I’d go with him to the ring when he needed me and that was it.” Yoongi tried to explain, broke the eye contact with hands shoving in his coat pockets. “Plus I don’t think I would have enjoyed it more than going out with you. You’re different.” His view was darkened, blocked, when his beanie slid down his face from the small hands. The younger chuckled before he pulled his man in a warm snuggle, inhaled his scent and closed his eyes to feel him a bit more in the open air. 

The elder’s face was hiding on the former’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his well built torso. In their place they stayed for minutes, just feeling each other in their own embraces. “Let’s just stay like this a bit more.” Jimin whispered when the former wanted to let go, tightened his arm with his resting head on the former’s. The sound of the water hitting the ground underneath them was clearly heard in their ears, along with the birds singing in the air while flying, and above all this the elder in Jimin’s arms. A perfect feeling, he doesn’t want it to end. If he can, he would have stopped the time, stopped every moving thing, stopped everything just to feel the elder for the rest of his life. “Jimin I can’t breathe.” Yoongi tried to pull himself back, after few seconds he was released as he took a deep breath, lifted his beanie from his eyes and smiled at his lovely boyfriend in front of him. 

When the sun started to set, Yoongi was straddling the younger’s neck when he was lifted from the ground, pale hands on the former’s head as he looked down at Jimin happily. “Feeling better up there?” The younger chuckled when the elder answered him with a yes. Just like a small feather, Yoongi was so thin and light on his shoulders. The horizon was separating the sky form earth, sea from the clouds. The sky colors started to change, pink mixed with blue, purple with orange, red with light brown as the sun ended behind the skyline. Yoongi liked it, with his thumbs caressing the younger’s cheekbones he stared at the beautiful sunset with his boyfriend, heart beating calmly in his chest. “Can’t we repeat this day everyday again and again?” he wondered out loud, looked down at Jimin when he lifted his head. 

“Of course we can. If this will make you feel better, then we are going to go out everyday if you want.” The boxer answered him without any hesitation or thinking. Their life would be much better if they spent a lot of time together outside their apartment. “Hey put me down!” Yoongi didn’t know where to hold when Jimin started to walk with him on his shoulders. He was afraid he was heavy, but he wasn’t. “I’m going to run.” The younger joked, enjoyed how Yoongi cursed loudly and told him to put him down one more time. “Don’t dare, do you hear me. We’re both going to fall.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, grabbed the younger’s small hands when the former lifted them all the way up for him. 

When the moon was shinning on the sky, the elder almost yelled as he watched the colorful fountain playing from the bridge above the huge river. “There there. Finally!” The elder among the two almost yelled, pointing at the fountain as he laughed in a low tone. Even his laugh was quiet just like him. “Jimin I really like it today.” He continued, leaned down to plant a kiss on the younger’s head. “I like it more because I’m with you.” The younger joined him with his laugh, placed the elder down as they watched the fountain side by side, hands on the rails, eyes reflecting the colorful falling water. “I swear you look like a prisoner who was in jail since he was born and someone just released you.” Jimin grabbed him from behind, bit the top of his ear before he planted a kiss on the glittery earrings. 

“Yeah you released me.” Yoongi pushed one last smile, turned his feet away as he walked toward the car, followed by his boyfriend who trailed him and closed the door. His palms rubbed against each other as he felt cold, the weather was still a bit cold after all. “Are you tired? Or do you want to go have dinner?” he replied with a dinner. Who would want the day to end when he’s out with Jimin, his cheerful boyfriend. And that was granted too, Jimin took him to a fancy restaurant, few couples were sitting in sprinkled tables in the quite place that filled with nothing but their low whispers and the sound of the silver spoons colliding with the plates. The walls were dyed with wooden brown, tables with white tablecloths. A waiter bowed at them as he led them to a table for two. 

“Ok now I’ll believe that you’re rich. Such a great wrestler like you.” The elder made himself comfortable with the younger, didn’t hesitate to grab his hand from time to time on the table. “Are you proud of your baby?” Jimin chuckled in a low tone, if he was only allowed to jump on his man to squeeze him in his embrace, he would. “Always.” The pale guy took of his coat as he placed it on the chair’s back, let his boyfriend chose for the both of them what to eat since he doesn’t like to eat much though. In the end they ordered two steaks with mushroom sauce. “The next date, I’m going to take you to the theme park.” The boxer enjoyed the former’s reactions whenever he spoke, liked how Yoongi stare at him with his dark deep eyes. 

“You serious? Theme park? How About I take on a date the next time, not you.” The elder suggested. “Well we’ll think about this later.” Jimin pulled out his phone when he received a text from Jungkook, cursing him for taking his car again without telling him. “I think I should get me a car. Jungkook is mad.” He laughed when he showed Yoongi the message. The wallpaper on his phone was changed into the former’s picture he took earlier as he smiled, placed the phone down on the table when their food was placed in front of them. “You better eat-

“Eat it all. I know. I’ll eat it all don’t worry.” Yoongi cut him fast with a smile, grabbed his fork and knife before he started cutting the meat in small pieces before he eats. Yes, it was quiet, the dinner they had was filled with silence, but the elder was feeling a bit weird. Those feeling crept in him before and he knew them, the eyes again. Someone was watching him and he sensed it again. After he swallowed the bite in his mouth, he looked around him slightly, everyone in the restaurant was new for his eyes but the feeling was steady. “Does it taste bad?” Jimin noticed him chewing his food slowly before he asked. “N-No . . It’s good really.” The elder forced a slight smile as he stretched one hand, grabbed the small hand when he watched him resting his hands on the table. 

Jimin was with him, but he was afraid for some reason. Whenever he tried to watch around him, there was nothing at all. Maybe his illusions worked again but no it was a real feeling. “Jimin,” He called his boy in a low tone “is someone watching me?”. The younger in front of him was confused, but shook his head when he looked around them too. “No one is watching you, why?” he ran circles on the back of Yoongi’s hand with his thumb to sooth him a bit, because Yoongi have turned more pale across him. “I have a weird feeling. Just like the last time, Jimin. I feel like someone is watching me.” The elder pulled his hand back, got on his feet slowly before he forced another smile for the second time. “I’ll use the restroom.” Just before he heard another word, he turned his feet away to the restroom to wash his face and pull himself together. 

The mirrors were huge and big, by the door he stood, afraid from approaching but he took a deep breath. Step by step slowly he allowed himself to reach to the sinks, without lifting his head a bit he splashed some water on his face, not once or twice but more than five times. With every second he was feeling it deeper and deeper, someone was in the restroom with him, watching him again. His lower lip was bitten, panics crept in him as he cursed himself from leaving the table and coming here all alone without Jimin. From the corner of his eyes he tried to watch, but there was nothing again. With tissues he dried his face, sighed lowly and grabbed the doorknob to leave. It was a safe move, nothing happened until he took one step outside the restroom when he felt hand hitting the back of his neck, collapsing him on someone’s arms as he couldn’t feel anything anymore. 

Jimin was still waiting around the table, playing with his fingers on his lap when he finished his meal. Minutes and maybe 15 minutes have passed and there was Yoongi’s seat empty. “What took him so long?” The boxer asked himself in a low tone, pouted slightly before he pulls his phone out to check on the time. 20 minutes. Yoongi shouldn’t have took that long in the restroom just to wash his face. Nothing crossed the younger’s mind but to call him, but what he heard was Yoongi’s phone in his coat’s pocket vibrating there without its owner. Jimin couldn’t stop himself, he got on his feet, grabbed the former’s coat as he paid before he headed toward the restrooms. “Yoongi, are you in there?” He asked, looked at the closed doors as they were all available with green signs on the locks of the doorknobs. 

“Yoongi?” He called as he started to panic when he didn’t hear anything. Maybe Yoongi’s words were right, someone was watching him where he didn’t notice at all. “Yoongi!” Jimin called him again, feeling his breathes being heavy with every minute he ran in the hallway to search for his boyfriend in hope to see him fine soon.


	19. Maybe gone?

Sounds around him were fading and increasing, like chaos in his ears they were messing in his head. Where were he? He couldn’t tell. All he felt was the sheets underneath him, embracing him until he tried to open his eyes slightly. “Why the fuck did you bring him here?” The voice was talking, ringing in his ears when he shifted on his back, moving his forearm to cover his eyelids when he felt a strong light hitting him. “Shut up. It’s my house, I’ll let who ever I want in. And what do you mean why I brought him here? I need him with me.” Yoongi heard another voice, it wasn’t new, he knew it, but his spinning head couldn’t answer any of his suspiciousness. “Jooheon!” The name jerked him, opened his eyes as he gulped hard once his back was lifted from the sheets under him. Jimin. Where was Jimin? Yoongi wondered once his eyes met Jooheon’s who was standing beside the bed, looking down at him in a strange room. 

It was a big room, without any air in, without any windows to let the sunlight in or some oxygen for him to breath. It was suffocating him the moment he opened his eyes. The elder didn’t know what time to was, couldn’t know when he noticed his phone wasn’t with him but far away with Jimin. Eyes widened once he watched Minhyuk by the former’s side, rolling his eyes at the situation as he sighed with anger. “Hi.”Jooheon spoke to Yoongi first, lifted his hand to grab the former’s bright hair but it was pushed away in half a second. The elder among the three pretended as if he was alone in the room that was dyed with bright colors, on his feet he jumped from bed to walk toward the door with hard gulps. “Hey where do you think you’re going?” Jooheon approached him, grabbed his thin arms as he turned him, gripped into his upper arms to hold him still. 

“Fuck off Jooheon! Why did you do this to me!” Yoongi tried to push his strong hands away, they were painful, as if they cut his muscles till his bones to break them. “Were you having a great time with Jimin, hm?” The latter furrowed his brows, pulled Yoongi closer to look down at him through his nose. “When I saw you two I thought of bringing you here with me until the next match with that bastard. Just make sure I’m going to win and you’ll be back with me, that’s why I took you early with me now.” Jooheon was babbling useless words, tightened his grip until he heard low groans from the pale guy in front of him. “Jooheon, stop it. If Jimin found out, you’ll be dead in his hands.” Minhyuk scratched his head, the anger was raising in him, the man he liked was still into someone else in front of him as he raged slowly, jealousy was there to haunt him as well. 

“Oh yeah? You think I fear that piece of trash? He’s just a gum in my mouth.” Jooheon let go of Yoongi with a lack of gentleness, pushed him to the side before he turned to face Minhyuk completely. “Don’t bad mouth him, he’s still my friend after all.” The former clenched his teeth, glared at the pale guy with flames surrounding him. “Didn’t you fight with him, because of me?” The youngest among them laughed out of sarcasm, furrowed his brows the next second when he noticed Yoongi moving, heading toward the door one more time as he stopped him again, pinned him against the door with a rough push. “I swear if you didn’t let me go this second I’m going to kill myself, in front of you.” Yoongi watched him shaking his head, smirking the next second with hands grabbing him again, lifting him from the ground all the way back to the bed as he was thrown there on the sheets. 

“Just dare to step outside this room and I’ll chop your feet.” Jooheon clenched his fists, wanted to punch, to harm few things but the face Yoongi showed stopped him. It was a soft yet strong look the elder carried on his face, he was broken at the same time pulling himself together. “. . why are you doing this to me?” He almost whispered, ignored the dark eyes above him as he gulped hard, hiding the feelings that threatened him in his throat. “Why do you like to see me suffer instead of putting a smile on my face? Why do you make everything worse for me?” His voice was loudening with every second, trying to get up from bed as he pushed Jooheon off of him, tried to control his heavy breathes. Life shuttered on his shoulders, not long ago he was smiling and laughing with his beloved man but it felt like a dream again. 

Jimin was just a dream that happens once, you’d dream about him once for the rest of your life. But Jooheon? Jooheon was a nightmare that haunts the soul every single night. “Yoongi I can make you happy.” The younger tried to talk softly but it was no use for the elder’s ears. He knew Jooheon can’t keep his words, can’t even keep promises. “Liar! You’re such a fucking liar! All you did to me since I met you was pain!” Yoongi was hitting him with his pale fists, pushing him to the back with warmth surrounding his eyes. “You’re forbidding me from the happiness I found without you. Just to see me shuttering again you took me away from Jimin. No matter what you do I won’t give up on him and come back to an asshole like you-“ Yoongo’s words were cut with a hard punch on his cheekbone. 

There it was again, happening one more time as if nothing disappeared at all. The pain was creeping on him one more time, burying him under Jooheon’s nails once again. “You can’t even control your bad temper, and what? You still want me around you?” Yoongi didn’t care if he was punched one more time, the words that locked in him needed to reach the younger in front of him, breakthrough him and settle in his mind. “Then stop pissing me off!!” The younger yelled all of a sudden, sending shivers down Yoongi’s spine who closed his eyes tight, heart dropped to the ground as it stopped beating to keep him alive. “Stop being stubborn and leave Jimin! Even if you didn’t come back to me, I don’t want you to stay with him.” Jooheon was being selfish and greedy, it did nothing but more hate in Yoongi’s heart. 

“You’re crazy!” The elder breathed, took step to the back when Jooheon was approaching him like a beast, showing his ugly fangs to rip him into small pieces. “Jooheon that’s enough!” Minhyuk yelled in his place as he exploded all of a sudden, but who would hear him, he was a prey just like Yoongi now but it wasn’t showing yet. “Let me go before you regret everything.” Through the small clenched teeth, the elder spoke. On the rough ground he was thrown, his old days have wrapped its wings around him, the escape will be hard in this situations again. “What are you going to make me regret huh? What can you do with your weak self” Yoongi had enough from hearing the word weak, it was raging in him, he had feelings too, some words hurt him. Why would they spit at him and leave him all broken to think all alone? 

“Fuck you!” The elder breathed, got on his feet as he approached Jooheon, pushed him to the back before he clenched his fist, punched someone for the first time in his whole life. In the end what Jimin taught him was working slowly. Mixed feelings were in him, he was scared yet he was feeling better for punching the man in front of him who was looking back at him with wide eyes. “Did you just punch me?” Jooheon couldn’t believe it, his laughs were increasing in the room as he approached hastily. Just like a strong gale, he gabbed Yoongi from the collar of his sweater, pulling him closer to his face as he looked down at him one more time. “Why? Can’t I? You can punch me freely but I can’t? You hurt me but I can’t?” The elder spoke without skipping a beat, shielded himself on his own in the dark place he was in. 

He was punched not twice or triples or more, he was punched in row for who the hell knows until when. “What the fuck happened to you?” Jooheon asked, pulled the former one more time to see his messed face with bruises and blood. The former was trying to catch his breath, head spinning from the hard punches he received with slight coughs. Tongue tied from talking anymore, if he let one letter he would be hit one more time. Jooheon never changed at all and he would never change, his true self was a damn beast who ruins everything. Yoongi almost hit his head on the hard floor when he was tossed aside, he was left alone in the room without any windows, without anything but a single bed with a door for the bathroom. Heavy breathes were steady, low groans turned into low whimpers the next second. When he heard the door locks, he couldn’t hold his sobs from escaping his chest all the way outside his body, hitting every corner and wall. 

All over again he was breaking, when he was trying to fix himself with Jimin, everything turned back to how he used to be in minutes. In agony he was still in his place, laying on the ground feeling tired from the pain he received. His petal was dying slowly; the limbs were darkening everyday more. He was taken away, far away from the warmth he needed the most, the embrace he longed for, the soft voice that soothes him, the gentle touches. Everything. 

Said of Jimin, he was insane, running around the area they were in looking for his man. His panics never cooled down, head turning left and right just in case he spots him, but it was no use. In the car he locked himself, gripping into the steering wheel tight before he screamed all of a sudden, head bending down to rest on between his hands. Yoongi’s scent was filling his nose, from the black coat on his lap. His man’s feelings were right when he sensed something strange, if only he didn’t leave him alone he wouldn’t have been gone by now. They would have drove back home and had some more time together on bed, but everything vanished. “Where did you go. .?” Jimin spoke in a low tone, alone in the car to himself. Who would tell him since Yoongi’s phone was with him, nothing on his mind would lead him to his man at all. 

All the way back to his apartment he headed, with his head down he was trying to think but nothing tried to settle in his head. Thoughts were there, taking all over his mind as they tangled together. Footsteps were slow, echoing in the hallway that leads to his apartment, step by step. When he unlocked the door, he hoped to see Yoongi there running back in but no, he wasn’t there. All he watched when he walked toward the living, Jungkook’s back playing video games on his TV. No one was there for him, but his friend. As he took one step toward him, he felt his eyes darkening, gaze turned blurry. Behind Jungkook’s back he bent, leaned his head closer all the way to his back as he let his crystal tears tickling down his cheeks, ended on his lips as he felt the taste of them, salty with sorrow along with it. “H-Hyung?” He hard the younger, stopping the game as he tried to turn toward him but Jimin refused. 

Jimin hated when someone sees him cry, his strong character would break easily in their eyes. But at that moment, he wanted to let all the tears he was holding all this time out, wanted to light his chest as he found himself sobbing on Jungkook’s back. “Hyung what’s wrong?” The younger bit his lower lip, worries were filled him with his words. If Jimin cried, and in front of him, that means something big happened. Sobs answered him, they were increasing as his friend started to cry in a loud tone. “H-He . . He i-is gone.” The older sniffed, pulled himself back when the former turned toward him, looked at him with parted lips as he was confused at first. “He disappeared.” Fingers tightened on the coat in his hands, allowed his head to lean on Jungkook’s shoulder who ran circles on his back when he heard his loud sobs. “What are you talking about? Is it Yoongi hyung?” When Jimin nodded, Jungkook couldn’t stop biting his lower lip. 

“What happened! W-Why did he disappear? I mean how?” The younger let go of his friend, watched him wiping his tears as he sniffed. “I don’t know . . I don’t know what happened. We were having dinner together and then. .” Jimin stopped talking, found himself sobbing again as he buried his face behind his palms. As he tried to explain, Jungkook was dead worried about Yoongi. “Isn’t this something to do with Jooheon. I mean, no one bothers you two except him.” The younger wondered, bit his lower lip when Jimin got on his feet, all the way up the stairs to his room as he closed the door behind him. He was true, it was something to do with Jooheon but how can Jimin find him now? He doesn’t know where Jooheon lived nor know any place to find him there. What if he hurt Yoongi? Jimin wondered. What if he touched him? What if he beat him? What if what if what if . . everything was like a chaos in Jimin’s head. 

He couldn’t think properly; his sobs were mixed along with his thoughts as he wanted to kill himself for a second. Beside his bed he bent down, back resting against the edge of the bed as he tilted his head to the back. Jungkook won’t leave him alone, he followed him to his room as he sat beside him with knees against his chest. “Hyung I wish if I can help you.” He spoke in a low tone, looked at Jimin when the older turned his head toward him. “You’re helping me by being here for me now.” The latter sniffed one last time, pushed a forced slight smile to his friend to show him everything is going to be alright. “Don’t smile. I hate it when you fake a smile hyung. You can’t smile in every situation.” Jungkook pouted, pulled his phone out the next second as he dialed Minhyuk’s number right away. 

“Oh hyung!” He tried to sound as cheerful as he ever “Where are you?”. When he asked, Jimin never took his eyes off of him as he was anticipating something. “I was out. Going back home now, why?” Minhyuk answered on the other line, it was on speaker when Jimin pulled the phone from Jungkook’s hand to hear the whole conversation. “Oh I was wondering where were you, we didn’t meet today so I’m kind of bored.” The younger stared at Jimin who was mouthing him few words before he replied to Minhyuk again. “Where’s Jimin though? Isn’t he with you?” Jungkook faked a lough, gulped when his friend started to mouth another words he couldn’t understand. “Uh no, he’s out on a date with Yoongi hyung.” Jimin lifted his thumb up as he told Jungkook to continue his phone call. “By the way hyung, were you with Jooheon? You have been spending a lot of your time in his house lately.” He started to get confused from time to time. 

“Yeah, what’s wrong with you today?” Minhyuk was wondering on the other line but pushed everything aside. “Hyung can’t you take me with you tomorrow. I kind of feel bored without you, and plus I’ll get to know the person you like more, you know how curious I am about what kind of people you and Jimin hyung like.” Jungkook rose one eyebrow as he tried to read Jimin’s expressions. “No!” That rejection got the two’s attention as they stared at the phone. “No you can’t come with me!” Minhyuk was almost yelling on the other line for some reason. One reason. Yoongi. He doesn’t want Jungkook to know anything about Yoongi being in Jooheon’s house at all. “Hyuung~ Come on what’s wrong with you. You never said no to me. I want to go~” Jungkook was faking his whines, spoke with Jimin with their eyes and mouths to each other. “Listen Jooheon is a badass. I can’t take you there.” Jimin rolled is eyes when he heard the elder as he sighed lowly. 

“I know he’s a badass, but I want to go please~ I won’t tell Jimin hyung I promise.” 

“Fine! Listen I’ll pick you up tomorrow noon and we will go, if you’re in Jimin’s apartment I’ll give you a call to come down, alright? I don’t know how to face him now I need some time.” Minhyuk finally agreed, Jimin grinned as he high fived Jungkook from afar. “Okay hyung, I’ll wait for you.” Once he hung up the phone, the older couldn’t hold his laugh as he chuckled for seconds before his face turns to straight, carrying a cold expression. “Smart ass!” He slapped Jungkook’s back slightly before he leaned back against the edge of the bed. With a loud sigh he closed his eyes for seconds, they were still burning him from crying hard but he was cooling down from the thoughts of his man creeping on his head. “Why do you think he refused right away?” Jungkook wondered, scratched his head when Jimin opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling above him. 

“Because he knew Yoongi is in there. That bastard! He is going to pay for everything I swear! I can feel him nervous while talking back to you. And It’s his first time calling jooheon a badass. Something happened, I can feel it.” The older took a deep inhale, got on his feet as he threw himself on his bed, arms wide open on the sheets with eyes steady on the ceiling. “The day was beautiful. You won’t believe this Kook, but I saw the most beautiful and bright creature on earth. He was smiling warmly, laughing with all his heart. And believe me or not he looked like an angel. Yoongi was feeling safe with me, and now I don’t know what’s happening to him out there.” Jimin felt them again, his warm tears falling down his face as he sobbed lowly. On the younger’s lap he rested his head, sniffed several times as he waved back and forth at his face to stop his tears. “Yoongi is a wonderful person. Even though he doesn’t talk to me much but it’s so clear.” Jungkook smiled at himself, patted Jimin’s back gently to calm him down. 

Jungkook slept before Jimin, under the blanket, beside his friend he closed his eyes to stay with him all night. Jimin couldn’t sleep, he was drifting away thinking about his man, the coat was still laying on his bed as he would look at it from time to time, he wondered if he can reach his man at that instant, grab his hand and bring him back home, but that was just a quick dream crossed his head like a shooting star. If Yoongi was really in Jooheon’s house, then Jimin will take a move. Second by second, hour by hour, the time was passing slowly, Jimin was impatient. He was missing Yoongi already, just like him he can’t sleep now unless the elder was by his side, holding each other or caress each other’s hair with their fingers to fall asleep. “ . . you’re alright right?” He spoke in a very low tone, shifted on his side as he looked at his vanity, the leftover of the broken mirror was there still, hanging on the wall. 

When the morning came, he felt Jungkook shifting behind his back, getting up when his phone rang in the room as he turned to look at him with his swollen eyes that covered with dark circles. “Oh hyung . .” Jungkok answered when Minhyuk called him in the morning, it was nearly noon and they were still on bed. “I’ll come down soon, wait for me.” That was what Jimin heard from his friend as he sat straight looking back at him. “Was that Minhyuk?” Jimin asked with worries filling his voice, when Jungkook nodded, he couldn’t stop his sigh from escaping from between his lips. “Hyung I’ll keep texting you ok? And once I reach I’ll send you the location of Jooheon’s house.” Jungkook pressed on the former’s muscled upper arm before he shows him his phone and got off of the bed. 

Trust was there in the air, Jimin trusted Jungkook more than Minhyuk, maybe because their ages are closer to each other. When Jungkook left the house, he never left his phone aside, it was in his hand the whole time. Minhyuk smiled when he met him, started his car as he started to drive with the younger by his side. “It’s so rare for you to come with me to someone’s else house.” The older asked when he turned to the left in some streets. “Well I gave you my reason yesterday.” Jungkook pushed a smile, felt his phone vibrating in his pocket several times as he knew Jimin was texting him, sending him message after another. 

On the other side, Yoongi was sitting on bed, crossing his legs with arms against his chest. The sound of the broken plates wasn’t long after he tossed the trey of food in front of him. They shattered piece by piece with food sprinkling everywhere. “Yoongi!” Jooheon almost yelled his name, wanted to approach but held himself back when he watched how he made his pale face a mess. “Do you want to die from starving yourself?” He asked with clenched teeth, called someone to clean the room before he clenched his teeth. “I want to go back home.” It was a sentence Yoongi was repeating, whenever Jooheon tried to speak to him. “This is your new home; you’re coming back here anyway after the match.” The younger rolled his eyes as he clenched his fists. 

“Bullshit.” The elder breathed, never looked at Jooheon’s face because he knew what kind of expression he was holding on his face. “You’re dreaming so much.” Yoongi sighed, laid back on bed as he pulled the blanket on him, hiding himself under the blanket until he heard the door locked again. Was he a prisoner again? Living in a jail where he can’t go out at all to sniff some air? He never stopped asking himself. Once Jooheon went downstairs, Minhyuk come in the house followed by Jungkook who was surprised of how the house was quite big. “Oh you’re here.” Jooheon smirked, looked at Jungkook as he rose one eyebrow. “Do we have a new guest here?” Jungkook almost tensed in his place from the look in Jooheon’s eyes. “Sorry, he insisted to come with me.” Minhyuk pushed a smile, pushed Jungkook down on one of the couches as he followed the former’s to a corner in the living room. 

Jungkook took his phone out without hesitation, as if he was playing, he sent Jimin the location right away and locked his phone. Disgusted look was there on his face, when his eyes captured how the two were so close to each other he couldn’t hide his feelings in. How can Minhyuk fall for a guy like Jooheon, Jungkook never got it. Oncce they kissed he tried to avoid them but couldn’t take his eyes off of them. Why? Because he was waiting for them to move from their place and move on his feet to explore the house. Minhyuk was so into Jooheon, and he can see it, the way he was drowning himself closer to Jooheon, the way he gripped into him while kissing him, in the end it was one sided from him. Jooheon was playing with Minhyuk’s feelings and heart. They were pulling each other, moving their feet outside the living room with sloppy kisses steady. Once Jungkook heard a door of a room closed, he got on his feet hastily. 

It was hard for him to discover the whole place, but in the end he was smart to search in certain places. If Yoongi wasn’t anywhere clear, he must have been locked somewhere else. In the first floor Jungkook searched, got in every room to search inside but he found nothing. Maybe they were wrong, him and Jimin, maybe Yoongi was somewhere else instead of this big house. But he didn’t give up easily, he searched a bit more while texting Jimin at the same time. The second floor was the same, filled with rooms for who the hell knows, all empty. On the ground he sat, ruffling his hair with a loud sigh. One more floor, maybe there was some hope. His feet rushed toward the third floor as he tried to catch his breath, there was a tiny living room and two rooms at the back, and that grabbed his attention. 

None of the room had a key from the outside, except one. When he twisted the doorknob it was locked, since the key was there he couldn’t stop himself to unlock the door with nervousness eating him. The door was opened slightly and quietly, when he took one step inside, the room was cold, and it was empty until he watched someone under the blanket. “Hyung. . ?” When he tried to call Yoongi if he was there, he watched the blankets moves, the bright hair of Yoongi was showing as he sat slowly to look back at Jungkook, jerked from his place once he realized who was really in the room that had no windows. “Hyung!!” The younger placed his hand in his lips to shut his mouth, approached the elder fast as he placed his hands on his thin shoulders. “Are you alright? Oh hold on!” Jungkook couldn’t stop his anger when he watched Yoongi’s bruised face as he took his phone out, called a certain number, it rang for few seconds before Jimin answered right away. “Kook!” The younger passed the phone to Yoongi’s ears, gulped when he heard his boyfriend’s voice in the other line. 

“. . Jimin.” Yoongi called in a low tone, eyes dropped to the ground once he called his name. There was silence for seconds on the other line, sound of sniffs filled his ears with eyes wandering to Jungkook. “Yoongi. . Are you alright? Did he hurt you? I’m coming right now.” Jimin never stopped his words, there wasn’t any chance for Yoongi to speak unless he stopped. “No! No Jimin don’t come. Don’t come please. Don’t come he’s going to hurt you. Soon, I’ll see you soon I can promise you-“ The elder stopped talking as his hand dropped down near his body once he spotted Jooheon rushing toward the room with furrowed brows. Jungkook gulped when he felt his hair was grabbed, pulling his head to the back with arm around his neck from behind. “What do we have here, hm? A rabbit running around my house all alone to free someone.” Jooheon smirked with eyes wandering toward the elder among them all who took one step back from the dark eyes he watched digging holes in him.


	20. Go away

“Don’t hurt him, Jooheon!” Minhyuk furrowed his brows, wrinkles tangled in between them. Maybe Yoongi was hurt, and that was all good to him but not Jungkook. The youngest is one of his closest friends, his favorite, and harm won’t keep his heart beat tranquilly as it is. The room had a thick air, suffocating, blocked their lungs from any new air. Jimin’s words were ringing in Minhyuk’s ears. Yes, Jooheon is going to hurt him sooner or later, from the way he started to act and show his real self to him just like Yoongi clenched his heart tight. “Jooheon let him go.” He breathed, approached as he tossed the former’s arm aside from Jungkook’s neck as he heard the younger coughing hard with hand on his chest. “What the fuck is this?” Jooheon clenched his teeth, closed the distance between him and the former who turned his head aside. “Did you bring him here for this?” He asked the older, almost pulled him by his collar yet the former pushed him back. 

Yoongi hung up the call, moved closer to Jungkook with his pale hands on his broad shoulders. “I’m sorry about his.” He almost whispered, gained forced smiles from the younger who shook his head. Running feet turned their heads toward the opened door, the elder among them all wanted to speak, wanted to run too but not a single second passed when he heard fist colliding with bones as he tensed to the back. Jimin’s face, it was raging from forehead to chin, his knuckles turned white from clenching his fists tight. “Fucker!” Yoongi heard him, watched him approaching Jooheon one more time, throwing punches at him one after another. “What the fuck do you think you’ve done!!” When his boyfriend yelled, he couldn’t stop his fingers from tugging on Jungkook’s shirt. He was happy, at the same time sorrow dictated him, underneath the ceiling he was crumbling even more than he was already is, his heart was tired from everything as his gaze turned blurry. 

“. . Jimin stop.” Yoongi almost whispered, covered his mouth with his hand when he felt the warm tears flooding down his pale swollen cheeks. Jimin was kicking Jooheon as he went blind, darkness surrounded him and he couldn’t see anything in front of him but his enemy. “S-Someone stop him. .” The elder, watched Minhyuk and Jungkook but none of them moved from their place, knowing exactly how Jimin would turn out like if he was damn angry. For some reason, Jimin was scaring him even more than anything around him, the way he acted violently scratched him deeply. Feet never stopped from running to leave the room and run down stairs with hands blocking his ears, tears down his face with low sobs. Before he leaves through the main door, he was grabbed, pulled in the familiar embrace with heavy breathes hitting his neck. Without a single sinful word, he watched Jimin’s back in front of him, dragging him outside with fingers wrapping around his pale wrist all the way to the black car. 

“What the hell is this! What the fuck is wrong with that sick bustard!!” Jimin was still angry, the steering wheel was punched, cursed when Yoongi whimpered in the passenger seat. Nothing pissed him off more than the bruises on his man’s beautiful face, the cut on the corner of the pink lips was getting on his nerves. His fist stopped punching when it was held, broken eyes on him softened his anger, leans on him were like as soft as the snowflakes that were colliding with the ground outside. “. . stop it. I’m scared from you now.” The elder almost whispered, rest his forehead on the former’s muscled arm, hands tightening on Jimin’s fist. His face was buried on the crook of the tan neck when he was pulled closer and closer to the warmth he longed for, he was calling for, he was hoping for. In the end his words hurt his boyfriend, Jimin gulped hard the moment his chest narrowed from the former’s words. 

“How did he dare to hurt you? Does he call that love when he hurt you every time?” The younger was speaking in a low tone, stroking the back of Yoongi’s hair when he firmed his grip on him. “I-I was scared. .” He breathed in the former’s ear, swallowed his feelings when he wanted to kick out some tears with Yoongi. “I was scared I won’t be able to find you. I almost gone insane from the thought of you all alone outside in the cold. When I knew you were with him, I just couldn’t stop myself from running to rescue you, because I knew he’ll hurt you.” His cheeks were cupped with those pale hand he loved, leaned into the soft touches, thumbs tossing Yoongi’s tears aside. “Let’s just go . . I can’t talk now.” Yoongi slipped his hands down Jimin’s face as he grabbed his hand, tight, turned his head toward the side window with sniffs. When Jungkook got on the backseat, their hands wear steady, all the way back home. 

The youngest among them all was stealing glances at their hands from time to time and close his eyes the next second. “. . are you alright?” Yoongi couldn’t stop his concern. The way Jungkook leaned forward between them warmed his heart, his free pale hand touched the black hair as he felt him nodding his head. “Why? Something happened to Kook too?” Jimin tried to glace at his man from time to time while driving, his furrowed brows never relaxed, the anger was still nibbling in him. “Yeah . . Jooheon almost got him.” Yoongi ended his line with a sigh. The rest of the ride was dead silent, Yoongi was all alone thinking in his inner world while Jimin tried to calm his anger down since his man is already between his hands. For some reason he was still worried about the next match, even if Jooheon lost he knew something is going to happen. 

All the way back to his own room Yoongi walked, locked the door behind him as he wanted to be alone. He knew Jimin wanted to talk a bit more, grab his hand and tell him everything is alright now but no, he wanted to be in a painful loneliness and lock himself away from everyone. Back to his black sea he was drifting, drowning in as if the world closed up to him. Against the door he slid down to the ground, arms wrapped around his knees that were pressed against his pale thin bruised chest. Ears were capturing the soft voice of his boyfriend behind the door, calling out for him, trying to reach his hand out for him but Yoongi was kind of stubborn that time, he wanted nothing but his angelic soul in his body. 

Jooheon. He was driving Yoongi insane. Few more moves and he’ll cause nothing but for the elder to committee suicide. Something was pulling him up from all this thoughts, Jimin. But in the end he still couldn’t save him completely but saved something else instead. Thick clouds above him were snowing, sending shivers underneath his pale skin as he tightened his arms around him tightly, trying to avoid the coldness that wanted to eat him from head to toe. For hours he stayed still in his place, lost in his own thoughts and illusions, lost in his feelings that made him want to pull his hair from his head. When he punched Jooheon he felt weird, a little happy but at the same time sad. Since he managed to punch him once, he wanted to punch him more and more until he knocks him down like Jimin. And that was the only reason for him to get up on his feet again and turn toward the door. 

Jimin was there, beside his door on the ground, legs stretched in front of him with arms crossed against his chest, head titled to the side as he was passing out there, sleeping as if he was right beside his boyfriend. Yoongi’s heart warmed when he dropped his eyes down to him, face softened as he bent down beside him, stretched his pale hand to brush the orange vain bangs away from his closed eyes to the side. “. . Jimin.” He called him softly, patted his cheek before he lifts him in his thin arms with a bit of force since he was a bit weak. On his bed he placed him down gently, covered him with a fond kiss on his tan forehead. 

The training room was dark until he lit the place. The lights were turned on with footsteps echoing in every corner. Different gloves were in front of him with different colors, the blue one he used to wear was taken out. Hands shoved in with teeth biting his lower lip. He should do this alone this time, without a single help from his boyfriend. Yoongi wanted to train by himself, to punch the bag without anyone stopping him, wanted to practice on defending himself without any help. Since it was his problem, he wanted to solve everything by himself and beat Jooheon with his own fists alone. Even though is doesn’t always work with violence and punches but Yoongi chose whatever was better for him. It was right in front of him, the huge bag that was filled with sand, as if the place had no air it was frozen in its place, nothing moved at all, waiting for Yoongi’s fists to punch it until it rip into pieces and let the sand all out on the ground. 

His fists tightened, took his stance before he stretched his arm, threw a punch at the bag. It was weak, Jimin’s voice was in his head when he used to tell him how weak his punches were. But no, this time it was different, he wanted to show his boyfriend how strong his fists were. The bag was punched again, again and again. His fists were getting stronger with every punch, heat crept in them all the way to his face and down to his heart, he can do this and he knew himself. Beads of sweat was showing on his forehead and temples from the nerve in his heart, from being afraid to turn out weak instead of strong. “I can do this . .” He spoke to himself, eyes glued on the bag that moved slightly in front of him. All he wanted to see was the bag fall down from his fist and that would be fulfilled. 

With another stance, he punched the bag again. His illusions were useful sometimes, the bag in front of him was Jooheon tied from head to toe with thick ropes, telling him to punch him until his soul leaves his body and fly up to the sky, to hell. With every punch he felt himself whimpering in a low tone, with every punch his eyes were getting swollen, surrounded with redness as he felt warmth behind his eyeballs. With all his might he smacked the bag, when it moved he knew his punches were improving. His fists were on fire. As if they were under control, he never stopped his punches, one after another without a single stop. “Rot in hell you fucker. .” Yoongi breathed, his eyes were meeting Jooheon as he punched him one more time. Yoongi wanted to see blood flooding down his whole body from his own hands, and if he can fulfill this too, he would. 

“Disappear!” He punched the bag one last time before he found himself on his knees, on the cold ground he lifted his fisted hands to his head as he let the tears flood out from his eyes. With every second his hushed cries were turning to loud yells in the training room. Like a sad sky filled with thunder he was crying out loud, the last piece of brick in his body fell down as he crumbled to tiny pieces. It wasn’t just the bag, but the floor as well was punched. He was frustrated, overwhelm was already on his shoulders, pushing him down and further down to the depth of earth. If he wasn’t wearing those blue gloves he would have scratched his chest like the previous time he did with the glass, his nails would have sunk deeper in his chest and wrench himself. 

His precious tears fell down on the floor as they dripped one after another, his eye will dry one day. His eyes might get blind if he kept shedding tears without a single stop. Loud cries was shaking the whole apartment, Yoongi wanted to let his feelings out, everything in his system should free him soon or he would be in a huge danger. His bottom collided with the floor when he was pulled to the back, hands covering his eyes as he was pushed back against a familiar chest, head tilting back to the strong shoulder. Jimin. He was right behind him, holding him close to stop his boyfriend from the misery he was falling in. “Hey shh. .” The younger spoke in his ear, sneaked one arm on the former’s abdomen to pull him closer when he started to struggle and free himself. Even though Jimin was scaring him to death, he wanted peace, but the younger showed him a side he didn’t want to see. 

“No . . g-go a-away.” The elder spoke between his sobs, wanted to see some light with his blurry gaze but Jimin was blocking everything with his hand. “Yoongi calm down. . I’m here alright? It’s ok.” Jimin tightened his arm, pulled Yoongi even more closer to his body even though there wasn’t a single space between them. “Y-You’re being l-like him . . I-I hate . . it.” The elder stopped his movement, low sobs steady as he gave up on struggling and drown himself to Jimin’s chest. “Don’t hurt anyone. It hurts.” Yoongi continued, sniffed before he turned his head to his man’s jawbone. “I’m not being like him. Yoongi he hurt you so he deserved it.” The younger dropped his hand to Yoongi’s thin upper body to squeeze him. Jimin’s strong arms were shielding him, were like an invisible strong wall that protects Yoongi perfectly. 

Silence gap was there in the air, the elder stayed still in his place, wrapped by the strong arms, between Jimin’s legs and back against his chest. He was cooling down whenever he felt a soft pat on his chest, relaxing his whole body as he was able to breathe normally again. Jimin leaned, stuck their cheeks together as he closed his eyes, to feel the man in his embrace with every little thing in his body. “Thank you . . for coming to save me.” Yoongi almost whispered, took off his gloves to rest his hands on the former’s arms. “It’s my duty.” The younger wanted to smile, but the elder won’t be able to see it so he gave up on it.

“Jimin, I want to be strong like you.” Yoongi closed his eyes suavely, lifted one hand to Jimin’s free side of his head. “I don’t want to be scared. I want to be fearless.” The younger planted a soft kiss on his man’s pale bruised cheek before he answered him “There’s always some things you fear no matter how strong you became. Like, I fear from losing the person I truly love, I fear the dark and I fear mice believe me.” Soft chuckles left the elder when he heard the silly things Jimin fears, few seconds and he let his sweet laugh as well. “You’re born to be soft and emotional Yoongi. It’s okay if you fear a lot of things because there is always something that rescue you from everything pulls you down.” Jimin hoped his words were helping Yoongi, and he believed it did when the elder hummed at him as response, tilted his head to plant a kiss on the younger’s tan neck. 

“You’ll be strong. You’re a real man Yoongi. Even if not now, but later I’m sure. We will train everyday together, and with those bruised fists of yours you’ll beat the shit out of that beast.” The younger pushed a smile, loosed his grip to get on his feet with his man being lifted in his strong arms. To his room he carried him, placed him down the sheets as he laid beside him. They were facing each other quietly, watching how they were reflecting on each other’s glossy corneas. Jimin felt bad, whenever he stares deeper into the swollen red eyes. Yoongi must have cried harder than every time he saw him. The way he heard him yelling his heart out shuttered him, for a second he thought he was useless, but when he watched the elder leaning on him he took his feelings back. Involuntary, his small hand moved to the pale face, touched every bruise with his fingertips gently. 

“Your beautiful face . . baby.” The younger gulped, gasped when the elder moved closer hastily, buried his face in Jimin’s chest as he tangled their legs together, gripped into the back of his shirt and let himself sink in his man. “Hold me . . and never let me go.” He didn’t hesitate, immediately his arms looked their way to wrap around the former and snuggle him as tight as he could. It didn’t take Yoongi much time to fall asleep when he felt the small hand stroking the back of his hair softly. “I won’t let you go.” Jimin whispered to the sleeping man, covered him well and let himself drift away with him. 

Yoongi woke up in the noon when he heard noisy sound in the room. With furrowed brows he lifted his head from the pillow to look back at Jimin pinning new mirror against the wall and that just made him curse. “Sorry baby did I wake you?” The younger smiled widely, approached his man as he hovered over him on bed, leaned to brush his lips on the former’s but he was pushed away. “Go away I want to sleep more.” Yoongi turned on his side, and that was something Jimin noticed about his sleep, he doesn’t like to be bothered when he sleeps well. “You’re such a sleepyhead. It’s already noon. I missed you come on.” The younger pouted, got off the bed but was pulled back down, limbs around him locked him between Yoongi’s thin legs and arms. “5 minutes more.” Yoongi breathed, smirked when Jimin stayed still in his place as he obeyed. 

After the pale guy had his meal, he allowed himself in the training room with Jimin. “Shall we start snow-white?” The elder couldn’t stop his chuckle when he grabbed the familiar blue gloves. “Don’t call me snow white.” He approached the younger, on the ring that arrived to their apartment in the morning when he was dreaming in his sleep. “After one week is the match.” Yoongi froze when he heard the younger, glanced at him without a single blink as he felt shivers underneath his skin. Jimin have to win, no matter what happens, his boyfriend should win and hold him still underneath his nails. “Can you promise me one thing?” He collided their chest as he lifted his eyes to meet Jimin’s brown lenses, with a quick lean he pecked the puffy lips. “Sure.” The younger smiled, pulled the former closer as he locked their lips one more time in a fond kiss. “Win.” He nodded once he heard his man, and breathed a small promise before he presses himself closer for a passionate kiss. God how much he missed his man even though he was away from him for a night and a day. 

Nothing made him pull himself back but the punch he felt on his side from the pale wrist. Yoongi smirked, took few steps back as he lifted his fists near his face, fronting his man completely. “Whoa . . that punch wasn’t shallow you know? I might not go easy on you today then.” Jimin grinned, approached directly with a punch but it was avoided right away. “Someone here is getting better, huh.” He chuckled as he wanted to throw another punch but it was blocked with Yoongi’s thin forearms, causing him to step to the back a bit. Since Jimin was the one teaching him, the elder was defending just like his own moves. His own techniques. That just made him feel proud for some reason. “Come to me.” Once the younger ended his line, Yoongi approached without hesitation, stretched his arm as he throws a straight punch on the former’s cheekbone. 

“Holy shit! Are you alright?” Yoongi rushed toward him with teeth biting his lower lip. With his blue gloved he touched the younger’s face as he sighed. “Hey I’m fine. Punch me again, this was good.” He shook his head when he heard the former, wanted to toss the gloves in his hands aside but Jimin stopped him. 

“Come on, we have to make you even more stronger than this.” 

Yoongi was tossed on the thick roped around him, he would fall down on the platform with low groans but still, he couldn’t give up yet. Jimin wasn’t easy on him at all, he was training him with a bit of toughness. But that was all better for his man even though he was feeling bad about the whole thing. If he can make the pain vanish directly, he would, but there was nothing to do about anything, Yoongi wanted this so he should endure everything. Jimin was punched several times, and every time Yoongi’s fists were getting stronger and stronger. Heavy breathes were in the room, filling every little corner. Beads of seat were rolling down their bodies. Yoongi lifted his damp bright bangs to the back with his forearm before he tried to approach Jimin who pushed him to the back, against the ropes as they supported Yoongi’s thin body. 

They collapsed on the platform side by side, trying to catch them breathes that were taken away from them. “Ah god, why is this so tiring?” The elder spoke breathlessly, turned his head to look back at the younger. “You’re not used to this still, that’s why. I’m sorry though, I bet you’re tired now.” Jimin lifted his torso, took off his gloves and took one last deep breath. The window in the training room allowed them to see some light, the sun was right across the glass as it hit their eyes straight away. “Come here.” Yoongi stretched his hands when he tossed the blue gloves aside, telling his man to hover over him as he rested his palms on the sweaty tan nape. “You’re awesome. .” He bit his lower lip when he watched the curve of the younger’s smile. “And yeah . . just smile like this. Because when you don’t, I feel my smile vanish as well, drops down with yours.” Sweet chuckles mixed together before they leaned, capturing each other’s soft lips in a perfect sync. 

“You’re really something do you know this?” Jimin almost whispered, ran his finger’s through the former’s damp hair and pulled him closer with arm on his upper back. His free hand was on the thin cheek, caressing with his thumb gently between their kiss. They were floating together in a different ocean in a flash of light. With a single touch, they were drifted in their own world again. “I swear once I touch you I can’t take my hands off of you.” Jimin furrowed his brows in a pleasant way, tilted his head to the other side when he felt the back of his hand was grabbed by Yoongi’s pale hand, and that made him pull the former’s bottom lip between his teeth. Yoongi closed his eyes when they pulled back, gasped with a very low soundly breath when he felt the former’s nose nuzzling on his cheek and jawline. Butterflies stretched their wings to fly in their stomachs. Yoongi clenched his teeth, tightened his grip on the small hand as he pulled his man closer with his free arm. 

“Well guys, I don’t think I should have stepped here in the wrong time.” The two stopped when they turned their head toward the familiar sound of Jung Jungkook standing by the door with crossed arms against his chest. Jimin sighed as he got off of the elder, scratched his head and helped the pale man on his feet. “When did you get here?” He asked while placing the gloves back in its place. “Not long ago. Hyung is here, go talk to him.” Jungkook pointed behind his to the living room, smiled at embarrassed Yoongi who followed his man outside the training room. 

Minhyuk was there, sitting on the couch with head down. The air around him was dark enough for Jimin’s eyes to notice everything he wanted to say. He sat across his hyung on the couch, opened one arm behind Yoongi’s back when he sat beside him. “Jimin I-I . .” Minhyuk cursed under his breath, ruffled his hair as he took a deep breath. “You should have listened to me from the start right?” Jimin finished the incomplete line as he rolled his eyes. The former across him nodded his head. When he watched how Jooheon hurt everyone and anyone he kind of felt scared, if he hurt Yoongi, his beloved man, then for sure he would hurt Minhyuk who was nothing to him but a using soul. “Yeah well . . even though my feelings are steady but I don’t think I’ll meet him like everyday I used to. . slowly I’ll pull myself back.” The older sighed when his eyes met Yoongi for seconds as he cursed again. 

“And Yoongi I’m sorry about before. I was angry and I just couldn’t control myself.” 

There was silence coming out from Yoongi, what he should say about all this. Few thoughts were dancing in his head, even if Minhyuk pulled himself back and never met Jooheon again, but as long as he tangled with him once in his life he won’t be left alone. Jooheon would never ever leave him alone unless he got whatever he wants. Jimin smiled slightly as his boyfriend who rested his palm on his thigh. 

 

One week passed way too fast. The time was flying like birds in the sky. Jimin was training the whole time, with Yoongi by his side. The match with Jooheon, it will be soon and he was nervous about it. All he hoped for is winning, for him and for his man. Yoongi was shifting on Jimin’s bed when he came out from the bathroom dripping water as he dried himself with his white towel. “Yoongi I’m leaving soon. Get up.” The younger dried his hair with another towel as he pulled out some clothes from the closet. Arms around him wrapped sedately around his bare torso from behind, relaxed his worried heart as he smiled slightly. “Don’t leave without me.” Yoongi let his hoarse voice out in the morning, leaned with lips planting kiss down Jimin’s spine. From the ground he was lifted, placed back on the messy sheets as they fucked. 

Jimin was scared, and that his only reason for giving Yoongi some love in the morning before they go. He was scared he might lose, and lose his man as well, he was scared Jooheon would cause another trouble for them. With every little thought his thrusts were getting rougher, and Yoongi was in a total mess under him. The way he was clinging on him allowed his tears to gather at the corner of his eyes. “Yoongi . . N-No matter what happens, j-just know that I love you.” The younger spoke between his throbs, cursed when Yoongi loosed his arms, cupped his cheek instead. In between the elder’s heavy breathes, he stared up at Jimin. “You promised me . . you promised me you’ll win. You can’t lose.” Yoongi said breathlessly, threw his arms around the younger when he hit his climax, before Jimin he came as he watched him thrusting in him still until he came too and pulled his member back. 

“I won’t lose. I will win you today too.” They snuggled for minutes before they got dressed. 

The whole ride to the ring was eating them from nervousness. Yoongi never let go of Jimin’s hand even when he wanted to change in the changing room. “Won’t you let me change?” The younger pushed a smile to soothe his man at lease for awhile, Yoongi was still holding him until he pushed his hand off of him gently. After he changed, the elder helped him taping his gloves around his wrist. “I’ll be watching you. And I’ll wait for us to go back home together.” The elder sighed, snuggled his man one last time before they left the room. As if a gale from a dried river blew by them, Jooheon was right in front of them smirking down at Yoongi who ignored his gaze and took one step back behind Jimin. “Yoongi did you pack your stuff. You know you’re leaving with me after this match.” Nonsense again. Yoongi avoided him when he was dragged away all the way to the ring. 

After he took a seat, he cursed the moment he felt his both arms were grabbed. Freezing him still in his chair as he wanted to struggle. Oh yeah, Jooheon’s men again surrounding him, holding him to take him away after this scary show they are going to see soon. Nothing was right in its place, his heart was raging, his chest was heaving and his shoulders were already breaking from the sky that fell on them. When the lights were hitting the ring in front of him, he felt his heart dropping down his stomach. Something was going wrong and he felt it all over his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimin can lose once in a while right? :P


	21. End of me

If the ground split, he would be the first one to fall down hastily, without anything stopping him until he hits the core of earth. Why was he feeling uneasy about the whole thing surrounding him? Yoongi couldn’t find an answer to his question. There was a promise that needed to protect it self. Like a deep roses thrones haunt him all over his body, he couldn’t move much from the pain, from the overwhelm that covered him from head to toe as the red fluid in his veins. ‘Jimin please.’ It was the only two words in his head, he prayed and begged in his inner. He wanted to go back home with a smile on his face, wanted to go home holding Jimin’s hand, wanted to go back home with warmth protecting him from anything, wanted to go back home with relaxed heart underneath his ribcage. People were surrounding him like ghosts, voices like whiny dead souls echoing in his ears with acute pain. 

Noises begun to louden with every second, he couldn’t bear anything at all. All he wanted to see was Jimin winning the match and that’s it. The grips on his both arms where aching him, they were strong enough to leave purple bruises surrounding with yellowish and greenish colors. As he tried to move for half a centimeter they would glue him firmly in his place as if he was a prisoner taken somewhere out of the jail. Jungkook wasn’t far from him, but he couldn’t approach at all from the men surrounding the poor pale guy. When the wrestlers’ names were called, Yoongi stopped his any coming movement as he glued his eyes on the ring in front of him. From between the dark blue thick rope Jooheon jumped in with his hands in the air, roaring as his usual self while walking in circles to let every single eye in the place to look at him. From the last time Yoongi have seen him, he wasn’t as big as he was right in front of him, his muscles grew stronger as he became stronger. 

It was worrying him, waiting impatiently for his boyfriend to come out on the platform and face the beast. Breathe hitched the moment his eyes met the dark eyes watching him with strange glares he has never watched them before. Jooheon was talking to him through his eyes, but Yoongi couldn’t understand a single thing at all, whether he was threatening him or warning him. The moment Jimin stepped on the ring, Yoongi watched how cold the brow eyes were, how his brows were furrowed as if the younger was surrounded by black flames, his veins were popping out of his muscled arms as he was clenching his fists tight. Yoongi was waiting for him to look back at him, and when he did, his his face softened as he tilted his head slightly to the side. ‘I love you.’ Jimin mouthed him, stretched one fist to his boyfriend as he pushed a slight smile when the elder did. 

Jimin hated it. The way his man was grabbed firmly, the fear expression he had narrowed his chest. He will try his best to finish this match and ride back home with his man in his embrace. “Oi kid! Should I kick your guts out of your body today?” Jooheon smirked, shut his lips when mouth guard was shoved in his mouth as he jumped in his place. Silence was leaving Jimin, as Yoongi taught him the right times to shut his mouth instead of talking back to who doesn’t deserve his words. His fists collided together before he takes one step back, getting on his stance before he glued his eyes on Jooheon. When they heard the shout “Fight!” the two were already rubbing their muds on the grounds to approach each other right away. Yoongi bit his lower lip, tensed on his seat with hard gulps drying his throat. 

The first punch was thrown from Jimin, took a quick step back when he was going to be punched as a punch back. They were one after another in the first round, he had nothing to do but try his best to avoid them all and push Jooheon’s fists aside. Jimin noticed every step the former was taking, Jooheon was stronger than any previous times he faced him on the ring. When arm wrapped around his neck, he had the chance to throw his punches at the former’s well built body, on the side of his ribcage. They were three punches in row until he was released and stared back at Jooheon who smirked at him. Just like how he got stronger, Jimin got stronger as well, and that was all for his man. The younger wrestler jumped to the back, avoiding any coming punches that wanted to touch him until he heard the three minutes’ ringer singing as they stopped the first round. 

Yoongi wanted to run to his man when Jimin threw himself at the corner with heavy breathes, but there was no chance for him to touch a single hair in him. When he watched how the younger was wandering his eyes to look at him, he felt warmth surrounding him as he stayed still on his seat. Jimin for some reason was dropping down to the ground, the way his man was looking back at him clenched his heart. There was some anticipation in his sleepy dark eyes, there was some pleading. One minute ended, Jimin jumped back in the middle of the platform facing the beast. “Let’s see how you’re going to survive this round. Before we reach the fifth you’d be a dead meat.” Jooheon was laughing, laughing loudly that every single ear heard him. He looked like an evil character in kids cartoons. 

There was silence from Jimin again, with his forearm he brushed his bangs to the back. In a flash of light, he threw a straight punch at the former the moment he witnessed him staring at Yoongi. “I’m here. Not there.” He said with clenched teeth, between his mouth guard. Jooheon raged, lifted his fists near his jawlines as he approached the younger, tricked him for seconds. He would stretch his hand but never punch Jimin, getting on his nerve. A straight punch on Jimin’s head allowed him to stumble to the back. “Fuck you!” The younger among the two breathed, tightened his fist as he rushed toward the latter. He made sure the punch would reach Jooheon, but it didn’t. Instead, he was punched right on the forehead with a straight punch, colliding his body with the platform as he felt weight on him. Jooheon was fast to straddle him and punch him in row, one after another until the former was taken away from him by force. 

Jimin coughed. Not yet, he didn’t want to lose yet. Those punches meant nothing at all. On his feet he stood, managed to block few more before he was able to return the punches straight at the former, on his head and torso. The taste of blood was there in his mouth, leaked out of the corner of his lips slightly. His body would sway, lift his forearms to protect his face from any more busts. The orange haired man was back on the corner, spat the gathered red liquid in his mouth as he irrigated his throat with fresh water. “Jimin can you keep doing this? You still have ten rounds and look at yourself.” Jungkook wiped his friend’s sweat away, grabbed his nape as he watched to his brown eyes. The latter was shaking his head, trying to pull himself together from the hard pain he received. “Is Yoongi alright?” he asked between his heavy breathes, tried to watch his man but something was stopping him. 

“Yeah yeah he’s fine. I’m keeping an eye on his don’t worry and focus.” Jungkook jumped down the ring when the third round started. On the other side, Yoongi was slowly panicking, those punches Jimin received seemed painful. His skin was peeled, watching how Jimin was fighting up there for him bled his heart until it decayed. “JIMIN!” The hoarse deep voice shook the place all of a sudden, they way he watched how Jooheon playing his game punching Jimin with his tricks and feints, he couldn’t stop his voice. “Jimin finish him already!! You promised me!” He yelled at him again, struggled a bit to reach the platform of the ring but nothing worked out as well, he was chained with strong hands all over him. “ . . baby please.” The low voice he let out loosed his whole body, on his seat he was crumbling. When his man was pushed against the ropes, he dropped his head. 

In the end, to his original place he would return, between the dirt of Jooheon’s hands and he knew it from the very beginning. They were falling, one after another, shallow river on his cheeks pulled him down with the younger who fell on the platform again. No more, he couldn’t see anymore. With his head down, he sobbed loudly. The ghosts around him were watching him with vulture eyes, as if he was doing something wrong when he broke down in front of the crowd. With every punch Jimin was receiving, he was tearing into small pieces. The mess in front of him was all his fault, he never stopped blaming himself and he will never do. 

Jimin’s head was bleeding, he would shake it several times to get rip of the dizziness but there was no use. He was getting weak; with every punch he would groan in pain loudly. But that wasn’t the end. The loud cries were ringing in his ears, hitting his drums as they settled in his head. Yoongi was feeling his pain, wrenched because of him. They were blaming each other the whole match. “Look at you Park Jimin. What are you going to do if I knocked you down at this instant and took my boy back?” Jooheon asked sarcastically, watched how the former pulled himself together, furrowed his brows and took one step to the front. “You’ll never take him back! And he’s not your boy!” Jimin spoke through his clenched teeth, was going to retreat to hold his man in his arms, to stop his tears and loud cries instead of the useless match. In circles Jimin walked, read Jooheon’s moves carefully, straight punch was thrown at Jooheon’s face, another on the other side of his face as he fell back on the platform. 

Jimin was getting there, to take his place as a winner again. For his man, for Yoongi who avoided the match and stared down at his lap the whole time. Not knowing what was going on there between the ropes. All he heard was Jungkook’s voice yelling at Jimin, talking to him when they were already in the 6th round. Covered with bruises and blood, heavy breathes and sweat dropping down their bodies. “Bring him here . . I want to see him, please.” Jimin begged for 30 seconds when he was taking a break in one of the corners. 30 seconds left, if Yoongi didn’t touch him any second soon he’d lose all his strength. “Jimin I can’t bring him here. He’s surrounded.” The youngest pulled the wrestler for a quick snuggle patted his bare back as he jumped from the ring again. “. . Yoongi I’m sorry.” The former breathed, got on his feet again with his head down. If he was a real man who wanted to protect Yoongi then he won’t step down the ring losing, he spoke to himself before he lifted his head, eyes burning with anger, approached step after another until he focused on one spot on Jooheon. 

One last punch would knock him down right away. Just a little bit of thought in it and he would win his man. A quick glance at his man clenched his teeth, if Jooheon even took Yoongi back, he would properly be just like how he was on his seat, screwed, ached and wrapped with darkness. “I believe your dreams were way too high when you came here didn’t you?” Jimin smirked, finally, studied the former with a quick move from his fist, colliding with Jooheon’s temple as he knocked him down with a single punch. Left him unconscious on the platform all of a sudden. The numbers above his head were counted, Jimin focused on him, when he wanted to get up, he threw another straight punch at him as he couldn’t move at all from the platform anymore. The winner wrestler smiled, at the same time it was mixed with broken curves. 

When his left fist were lifted in the air, he couldn’t stop his laugh, at the same time his eyes were getting swollen. He won, he won but the pain was steady. He won but he cried his heart on the platform out of the blue. Knees touched the ring’s stage, waterfalls tears were falling down. In the last minute he knocked Jooheon down, but it was tiring. The whole match was hell, everything around him was surrounded with forsaken burnt bricks. The lights were sparkling his tears when he tilted his head to the back, shutting the whole place up with the overwhelm he kicked out. The thorns of tight grips loosed as they pulled themselves back, as Yoongi blinked he felt new tears joining the rest. The silence was echoing, except his man’s loud cries in the middle of the ring. He approached slowly, couldn’t blink when he finally watched how Jooheon was knocked out beside the latter. 

“. . Jimin.” The first rope was lifted above his thin body, sneaked on the ring to wrap his arms around his man’s bare sweaty shoulders. He was alive again, in Jimin’s embrace he shut his eyes, stroked the back of the younger’s hair to soothe his cries. “Jimin it’s okay. . you did it. You’re my hero.” Yoongi spoke in a soft tone, arms pulled themselves back as if a wind blew against his body to fly away above the earth. He watched how the former sniffed, wiped his tears with his forearms when he cooled down. “Ah my baby . . my baby . . Yoongi.” The wrestler let tears of joy out again, rested his gloved fists on the either side of the elder’s head as he smiled. And when his man smiled, he couldn’t believe the brightness that shone on his face. “Get on.” Yoongi rose one brow when the younger turned, collided his tan bare torso with his legs. It didn’t take Yoongi awhile for his thighs to settle on Jimin’s shoulders. 

Even though Jimin’s body was weak, but he couldn’t stop himself from lifting Yoongi up high in happiness. Light as ever. Once he lifted his fists in the air, the dead crowd was in a huge noise one more time. The whole place was on fire, shouting and cheering for the winner wrestler with all their might. ‘Park Jimin. Park Jimin. Park Jimin.’ It never ended when he spun on the platform with his man on his shoulders, pale hands on his swollen bloody face caressing gently. 

Now Jooheon should keep his deal as it is. Give up on Yoongi and pull his shit back. Away from them. Jimin threw himself on the bench in the changing room, closed his eyes when Jungkook slid his black gloves off. In a total pain and ache he drowned, Jooheon wasn’t as easy as he expected him to be, he was strong enough to squish him on the match. But in the end, and for Yoongi, he managed to beat the shit out of him. “Are you alright? Did anyone hurt you?” Jimin collided his forehead with his lover, arms around his thin torso lazily. “I’m fine but I don’t think you are.” Yoongi spoke in the narrow space between them, pulled his head back slightly to stare at the brown eyes, fingertip caressing the younger’s bare chest. “You scared the shit out of me do you know this? I thought you’d lose and leave me behind.” He laced his arms around the younger’s neck one more time, drowning himself in the warmth he longs for.

“Who do you think will forgive me if I let you slip away from my arms? I would be in a total agony.” The younger moved the bright bangs of Min Yoongi away from his forehead to the side, all the way behind his ears. When a shirt was thrown at him, he let go of the pale guy as he shoved himself in the white shirt hardly. Winces would show on his face with every little wrong move. But Yoongi was there for him, helped him in his clothes, when the younger stood again with hand on his torso as he hardly walked to the car, let him rest his head on his thin shoulder all the way back to their warm apartment. “Jimin you can use my room. You’re tired to go upstairs.” The elder firmed his grip on the former’s small hand, guided him all the way to his bed. 

“I think I need a hot bath. My body is fucking killing me.” 

“I’ll prepare this.” Jungkook smiled widely, let himself in Yoongi’s bathroom as they heard the sound of the water streamed there. Life was light in their chest one more time, they were happy, like spring flowers who blooms pleasantly to the air. “I don’t know if I told you this before, but Yoongi I love you so much.” Jimin pushed a smile, hardly leaned on the former’s shoulder as he closed his eyes tight from the sore body. “Always. I love you too.” The elder’s heart melted, soft kiss on Jimin’s forehead was planted. It took minutes for the whole tub to be full with steamed water, the former’s steps were slow till he reached the bathroom, stripped out of his clothes with a help from the pale hands. “Holy shit!!” He cursed loudly once he settled himself in, muscles stretched underneath his skin as he shut his eyes tight. The dizziness was steady though, and when he let the water cover his eyes his head almost dropped down. 

“Jimin should we go to the hospital after this?” Yoongi asked worriedly, watched the former shaking his head as he tilted it to the back, pulled his hand out of the water to grab his pale one. “Just stay here with me. You’ll be my medicine and cure.” Jimin pushed a slight smile at him, winced when his arm was massaged gently. “Ah damn this feels good!” he parted his lips, let his man massage his arms and shoulders. “Where did you learn this? Damn I’m going to use you from now on.” Smile on his face when he heard the former’s soft chuckle. His joke wasn’t bad then. Yoongi stayed by his side, sat beside the tub until the water started to get cold. His eyes never tricked him when he watched how Jimin was shaking his head to get back to his senses. “Jimin I think we should go to the hospital, don’t be stubborn like before.” He dried his man’s torso who never let out a single word until he laid down on bed, on his side, pulled the blanket on him and closed his eyes. 

Yoongi stood there, staring at him quietly with concerned heart in his chest. “Won’t you come here?” The younger lifted his head, patted on the empty sheets beside him, smiled slightly when the former crawled under the blanket and faced him. “You were amazing out there.” Yoongi never lost the chance to grab the small hand as he kissed it. The younger didn’t say anything as he stared blankly at his man, because his gaze started to become hazy with every second. The elder was clueless whether Jimin just fainted beside him or fell asleep from his sore body. But in the morning, Jimin woke up the same, dizziness dictating his whole body, when he lifted his torso from the sheets, his palm rested on his temple as he shook his head again. His fingers ran suavely on Yoongi’s hair before he got on his feet. Walked weakly and slowly toward the door. 

“Oh Jimin you’re up.” He heard Jungkook’s voice talking to him in the living room, but he couldn’t concentrate at all. His body was shaking, from head to toes as he couldn’t control anything when he collided with the ground. “Hyung!!” The youngest rushed toward his friend, Minhyuk came out from the kitchen when he heard Jungkook thankfully with a towel in his hand. Right in front of them Jimin was convulsed, body vibrating with skin turning cold. “Holy shit turn him to the side!!” Minhyuk ordered Jungkook when he managed to place the towel in his hand between Jimin’s teeth. The two were panicking, it was the first time for their friend to convulse after a hard match. 

Yoongi woke up when he heard noise by his door, threw the blanket aside the moment he spotted the orange hair stretched on the floor. “W-What happened!” He asked worriedly, bent down near his man’s head when he watched how Jungkook was holding him still on his side. Nothing answered him, the look on the other’s two faces were dropping his heart to his stomach. “Come on we should go to the hospital now!” Minhyuk pulled the towel back the moment Jimin stopped his movement, nose started to bleed all of a sudden, he lifted him in his arms while the youngest rushed to grab the car keys. In a total oblivion Yoongi stood there, heart pounding worriedly in his chest. When his hand was grabbed, he was dragged with them to the hospital. “What the hell happened!” He couldn’t stop himself asking when Jimin was no longer seen in front of him. 

Jungkook took a deep breath, gulped hard before he faced Yoongi. “Jimin convulsed. I’m sure he’ll be alright don’t worry hyung.” The younger bit his lower lip when Yoongi crumbled right in front of him. Out of his mind. He stood there staring blankly at nothing. But there was blood, running down Jimin’s nose. There was something else and he was sure about it. No one was to blame but the match, Yoongi blamed that fucking match. If Jimin didn’t make that deal he would have lost with less injuries but now they were in the hospital again, waiting impatiently for the results. 

One hour? Two hours? No, more. They waited for almost 4 hours for the doctor to meet them outside. And when he did, Yoongi wished if he didn’t come out at all, wished if he didn’t talk at all, wished if he was mute. But if he didn’t talk at all, others will. “How’s he?” Minhyuk was the first one to ask when the doctor didn’t let out a single letter at all. “You brought him late.” The doctor couldn’t look at them at all. “I’m sorry to say this, but he had internal bleeding and he was in danger, he might have died if you were more late than this. From the bruises on his body we figured out he was in a fight. After all this,” He stopped talking for seconds before he continued. “He’s under coma right now. I’m not sure if he’s going to wake up soon. I’m sorry again that you’re not allowed to see him now, only from outside his room.” He bowed after he gave them the number of the room and the ward. 

“c-coma . . ?” Yoongi couldn’t blink, in a state of shock he lost his balance. Jungkook grabbed him hastily when he felt the warmth of his tears rolling down his cheeks. Blame was there, regression was there in the eldest chest. It was his fault, everything happened was his damn fault, if Jimin didn’t wrestle with Jooheon nothing would have happened. In Jungkook’s arms he kept blaming himself, cursing himself and regretting the day his eyes met Jimin’s for the fist time till the second he was in the hallway of the hospital.


	22. Missing

Yoongi was there, sitting on a chair made of steel in the hallway staring at nothing. It was a huge shock to his heart as his eyes dried. No more tears fell down his cheeks, nor felt warmth surrounding him anymore, gales of snow wrapped around him, froze his heart and feelings as well. Figure sat beside him, heard low sniffs and sobs. Jungkook crumbled down, head leaned slowly to the pale guy’s thin shoulder beside him. “He’ll wake up right?” The younger asked, and Yoongi had nothing left in his tongue to say. “. . let’s go see him, hyung.” He stretched his hand, hardly gripped into the pale wrist as he pulled Yoongi from the chair. 

Like a walking doll the elder was walking behind the tall figure in front of him, his head never tried to lift itself and see the world, not when Jimin wasn’t by his side anymore. Through a huge window he watched the laying body of his boyfriend all alone. Surrounded by machines and wires on his bare torso. He realized one thing, the life without Park Jimin. It meant nothing at all. With his fingertips touching the glass, he was touching him from afar, caressing his cheeks with shattering heart. Sobbing Jungkook by his side shut his eyes for seconds before he tilts his head down. What should he do now? The younger by his side was always around his friend, they were close enough to call them brothers. But now even Yoongi didn’t know anything anymore. His head was blank, his feelings were numb and all he did was staring coldly at Jimin.

“He’s strong isn’t he?” The elder finally spoke, in a low tone with steam hitting the glass in front of him. Jungkook nodded, wiped his tears with his sleeves as he sniffed, went for minutes and came back with a bottle of water. “Hyung. .” He called with hand stretching to give the bottle to the elder who took it lazily. Minhyuk said nothing, he stood there with his head down, hearing the both talking quietly. When they were forced to leave the ward, he turned his feet away from the two, walked on his own to free his mind and accept reality. The weather was getting colder instead of getting warmer, Jungkook and Yoongi drove back home with silence. The younger didn’t know what to say the moment he heard the elder’s sniffs on the passenger seat. How is he going to live a single day without Jimin by his side? The elder was lost; his quiet thoughts were suppressed perfectly in his head. 

The apartment was cold as well, without Jimin around, there was nothing they could do. Every spot, every corner and every air smelled like him. He took all the warmth with him to the hospital. Yoongi directly walked to his room, closed the door quietly as he threw himself on his bed, snuggling his pillow Jimin used the previous night beside him. “. . wake up. I miss you already.” He whispered, tightened his arms and sniffed. It was sudden and shocking. Imagine the person you love deeply won’t be able to wake up anymore, it’s a huge emotions disaster. The elder stayed still in his place, half of his face buried in the pillow as he watched outside his window with one eye, it wasn’t snowing but Yoongi was freezing, Jimin should be by his side to warm him and heat his body with a single smile. 

Jungkook crumbled with every step he took to his friend’s room, sat at the edge of the bed with a loud sigh. Now Jimin isn’t here, but he still need to come everyday for Yoongi. He knew if the former was still around he would never leave the elder all alone. “Hyung. . I’ll take care of Yoongi hyung until you wake up. I’ll keep him safe so don’t worry. But you really need to come back soon. This apartment feels cold when you’re not around.” He laid back, eyes stared up the ceiling with weird feelings in his chest. The feelings of loss, emptiness and loneliness. Even though he has Minhyuk but Jimin was different. Jungkook kept rolling all night, from to left to right, thinking and missing his friend. If he was sinking in all of this, what about Yoongi under the floor he was on, the thought of him made him leave the room quietly and sneak downstairs to stop in front of Yoongi’s room. 

Soft knocks, but there was no response at all. “Hyung can I come in?” Jungkook waited for one full minute. When he heard nothing, he opened the door quietly to see Yoongi still on his position staring outside the window, snuggling his pillow. As if he was a statue he didn’t move at all, nor blinked or dropped his eyes to look back at Jungkook. “Hyung can I sleep here with you?” The younger asked shyly, lowered his head when Yoongi finally looked at him. Shifts on bed made him crawl beside the elder who made some space for him. He watched everything, the turned back, the hair that ended on the pale nape, low sighs, eyelids open and close as they blinked suavely. “Hyung I’ll stay with you.” The younger was the only voice in the room, it broke his pure heart when he leaned to rest his head against the elder’s back. 

“You’re so kind Jungkook but- 

“Hyung, if Jimin spoke before he falls into coma, he would probably tell me to watch you and protect you instead of him.” The younger cut Yoongi, pulled himself back when he turned to face him. “Do you know what he told me once?” He pushed a smile, tried to keep his voice balanced just in case it doesn’t quiver and let the tears out. “He told me that he saw the most beautiful creature on earth, you are an angel.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, those words melted his heart a bit but the clear tears he watched rolling down Jungkook’s eyes broke him. They rolled down the edge of his nose to his other eyes. Under the blanket he pulled the younger closer, ran circles on his back as he gulped hard, tried to hold his tears back but nothing worked out. He joined the younger, let his sobs out with Jungkook’s until they passed out on bed. 

The next morning came by fast, Yoongi couldn’t sleep any longer even though he had slept for 3 hours no more. Gently he pushed Jungkook off of him, and when he looked down at his face he swore he watched the saddest face ever with dried tears on the corner of the younger’s big eyes. After he covered him well, he left the room all the way to the kitchen for some fresh water to irrigate his throat. The house was quiet, without a single sound to be heard. He would usually hear his boyfriend training when he wakes up but not that day, the wind blew him with dust. No appetite at all, when he started at the food in the fridge he felt full already as he left the kitchen to grab his coat. “Hyung.” Jungkook stopped him as he rubbed his eyes to approach the elder. Hair messed up, shirt falling down his shoulder. “I’m going with you.” The younger washed his face hastily and brushed his teeth, changed into fresh clothes as he stood by the elder’s side. 

They walked straight to the hospital. For some fresh air they didn’t use the car at all. Once they reached, Minhyuk was already there, in front of the huge glass staring at the laying body of Jimin. “Oh hyung!” The younger rushed toward his friend, gave him a quick hug before he turns his head toward the glass. There was a scary silence in the air, the three didn’t spoke much as they just stared in their place. But there was something different about Minhyuk, his halo was made of fire and flames, Jungkook wanted to ask but whenever he tried he would be shut up with a death glare. When another body joined them, they looked at the doctor who crossed his arms behind his back. “If he recovered fast, his coma may last for 2 months only.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, 2 months were a lot, he wanted his boy awake at that instant. 

“And I suggest he stops wrestling. People die from that game do you know?” The doctor spoke as he fixed his glasses. “What if he’s stubborn about the game?” Minhyuk breathed, he looked at Yoongi for seconds before he stared at the doctor beside him. “Why are you his friends then? You should help him stop doing this.” The doctor pushed a slight smile before he rubs Minhyuk’s upper arm and turned his feet away. “I don’t see anything wrong except one thing. You!” Minhyuk furrowed his brows, pointed at Yoongi who lowered his head. When his collar was grabbed, he whimpered the moment he felt his back split into two from the hard wall he collided with. “This is all your fault!!” The former yelled in the hallway all of a sudden, tightened his grip around Yoongi’s collar with flames surrounding him. “This is all your fucking fault!! If you didn’t wind up with Jimin he wouldn’t ended here in this bed all alone in a room!” Jungkook had nothing to do but try to pull his friend away from the pale guy. 

“Hyung stop it.” The youngest sniffed when he wrapped his arms around the former’s torso to pull him away. “Kook let me go! This bastard shouldn’t stay here!” Minhyuk cursed loudly, pushed his friend aside as he wrapped his finger’s around Yoongi’s pale neck. “If you weren’t the bet he wouldn’t have fought this hard and hurt himself for a mute like you!” He pushed the elder one more time against the wall, smacked him as he watched him fall to the floor. “What bet . . ?” The youngest rushed toward Yoongi, pulled him to his chest with hand covering one ear. “Hyung don’t hurt him please.” He pleaded, gaze turned to blur as he sobbed lowly. 

“Jimin made a deal just for him! Why do you think Jooheon is his biggest enemy? Because this fucker ruined everything, and what happened to Jimin was all his fault!” 

“This is nonsense hyung! Jimin hyung wanted to protect him!” Jungkook cursed when he felt tears showering his chest. 

“Leave! Leave this place at this instant and don’t come back here to see him! Leave his apartment and disappear from our eyes!!” Minhyuk yelled, approached the elder as he towed him strongly from Jungkook’s embrace, pushed him away as he watched him stumble with hand covering his mouth. “You are nothing but a burden!!” The former approached again, pushed Yoongi one last time who whimpered with river running down his cheeks. In a second, the pale guy turned his feet away, ignored the pain at the corner of his lips, ignored his tears as he rushed outside the hospital with heart peeling in his chest. Was he really a burden? Was he a weight to everyone around him? He couldn’t stop asking himself when he ran down the streets followed by Jungkook. “Hyung wait!! Hyung!” The younger was faster, and he managed to reach the former fast.

Yoongi heard nothing, watched nothing and spoke nothing. When he reached the apartment he rushed toward his room, grabbed his suitcase as he opened his closet hastily. “Hyung!” Jungkook tried to catch his breathe when he watched how the elder threw his clothes in messily. But they were back in the closet with his big hands. “Stop it!! You can’t leave!” The younger didn’t stop his hands from returning the clothes in their right place. “What happened to Jimin isn’t your fault. Minhyuk is just mad.” He tried to stop the pale hands but his eyes never watched anything clearly at all. “Hyung please you’re not a burden at all. If Jimin knew what is going on he’d probably hate it!” The mention of Jimin stopped Yoongi’s movement. His knees touched the ground as he sobbed loudly.

“Hyung please. . you can’t leave. Don’t listen to Minhyuk. We know he hates you but I don’t. I want you to stay here with me, Hyung will be angry the whole time and I hate it. I want you to stay please.” The younger bent down in front of the elder, pulled him one more time to his chest as he stroked the back of his bright hair. “And . . and hyung you’re not mute.” He lifted his eyes, tried to stop his tears but there was no use. “This apartment will be dead if you left. And if Jimin woke up tomorrow and found out we will all be dead.” Jungkook was different. That was the only thing in Yoongi head. He was a kind good person with a white heart in his chest, completely different than Minhyuk. For half an hour they stayed still in their place, but Yoongi pulled himself back and crawled under his blanket leaving Jungkook on the floor surrounded by his clothes. 

He wanted Jimin. Yoongi wanted Jimin right beside him at that moment, embracing him and whispering in his ears. He wanted his whole warm body around him snuggling him until he breaks his bones. His heart was hurt, in a total pain with needles sinking in. Jungkook waited and waited, didn’t know for how many hours but he started at the permanent of the blanket on bed. “Hyung I’ll get you some food, you haven’t eaten any.” When the younger stood Yoongi hummed that he doesn’t want any. But that was rejected, the younger came back with a tray of food, placing it on bed. “Get up and eat.” The younger shook the former who moaned. “I’m going to tell Jimin everything. Just wait.” When he ended his line, the elder lifted his body, grabbed the bowel of rice and a spoon as he shoved in on after another to fill his mouth and hardly swallowed with a choke. 

“Man . .” The younger sighed, patted the former’s back as he handed him glass of water. “Eat slowly no one is rushing behind you.” He smiled, grabbed his spoon as he joined the former.

Minhyuuk never stepped inside the apartment at all, for weeks. And Yoongi was able to see Jimin at night after he would leave the hospital. And when he had time, he trained by himself with a help from Jungkook who never left him alone. But after all this, the lack of sleep was his best friend, dark circles surrounded his small sleepy eyes. With every hour and day, he’d miss his boyfriend more and more. The oxygen mask and wires were off Jimin’s body and that made his heart at ease, but his numb laying body was twisting his feelings.


	23. Illusions

“gi . . Yoongi . .”

“Yoongi baby . . wake up.” 

Calling. He was called several time. Voice echoing everywhere in his head, ringing in his ears as he opened his eyelids slowly. The color green was surrounding him, fresh grass with smell of soil, huge tall trees with shoots stretching freely above him. Instead of his room he was laying on grass, in the middle of who the hell knows the place, but it seemed like a forest. “Yoongi.” It echoed again, and when he lifted his eyes he watched the familiar pretty face, orange hair, in front of him, brown eyes looking down at him with huge smile on Jimin’s face. “Come on get up, baby.” Hand stretched to grab the pale hand, pulled him off the grass as he stood facing his boyfriend. “J-Jimin are you for real? When did you wake up?” Yoongi bit his lower lip, soft hand brushed his fringe gently made his face soften. 

“Baby what are you talking about?” Jimin pushed a warm smile as he continued “I’ve been sitting here beside you waiting for YOU to wake up.” He intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend, dragged him between the trees with brightness glowing on his face. They walked side by side, stumbled on the grass as they started to ran behind each other. Jimin was there, with him, holding his hand, running with him. But what he noticed was the green lands. What he remembered was the city covered with ice and falling snowflakes. But it was spring, nearly summer, flowers bloomed around them, butterflies flying in the air from petal to another. “I missed you like hell!” Yoongi spoke all of a sudden, stopped the former’s feet who turned toward him with raised eyebrow. “Do you miss me even when we never separated from each other?” Jimin chuckled sweetly, cupped the former’s thin face as he pecked his small nose. 

Yoongi was confused, can’t Jimin remember? He was in coma, sleeping on the hospital bed in a locked room. Was he the one mistaken? The elder asked himself, was what happened a dream. But no, he was sure everything was real. “B-But . . but you were in coma, how . .?” The younger rose one eyebrow, whatever Yoongi was babbling was confusing him at the same time it didn’t mean anything. “Yoongi, are you sick or something? Should we go back home?” He curved his lips slightly, brushed the bright bangs to the back as he kissed the pale forehead, slid his hand to grab the former’s hand again and moved his legs. “. . Jimin I’m not sick.” The elder breathed behind the former, followed every little step they took toward a river with hands squeezing each other. 

“isn’t this beautiful?” Jimin’s eyes sparkled, collided himself down against the grass as he pushed the elder between his legs, wrapped his arms around the pale neck as he pushed him back to his chest. “After all these years Yoongi . . I can’t believe we gripped into each other this tight. But I’m leaving soon.” Every word confused Yoongi more than the other. Years? No they were less than a year together. Why was his boyfriend leaving soon? What the hell was Jimin talking about. Chaos was in Yoongi’s head, his hand touched the former’s tan forearms as he leaned into the warmth he longed for. “But baby . . we have been together for months only. What are you talking about?” The elder wondered out loud, eyes closed when hand covered them, blocking him from seeing the beautiful sky color that matched the running river. 

When he was able to see again, it was night. But how? He was confused. Nothing was able to be seen, he heard Jimin’s tranquil breathing still behind him and the sound of the river. In seconds everything turned dark, but from behind them sprinkled lights were flying to the front to surround them. Yoongi was in a total fairytale with fireflies lightening the dark forest, they were reflected on the river that grew bigger in flash of light, to ocean. “Oh my god. .” he whispered, turned to see his boyfriend who was smiling creepily at him. It was a weird smile that dropped his heart to his stomach, when Jimin got up he couldn’t grab him for some reason. “Jimin . . ?” Yoongi called as he watched him walking toward the see backward, brown eyes were locked with his as he heard the sound of the waves hitting Jimin’s feet. 

“Baby no . . no don’t go in any further.” He approached slowly, stretched his hands in front of him to grab the younger who was sinking deeper in the dark water. Panics filled him the moment Jimin’s face turned to straight, smile dropped down his face. “Yoongi if I left . . you should be strong without me. I know you can win everything faces you and tries to destroy you, you have a hidden strength inside you and I believe it.” The younger was walking away with every second, and the moment Yoongi walked in the water to stop him he smiled warmly at him. “Jimin you’re going to drown don’t go.” Yoongi walked hardly through the waves, they were pushing him back but he was moving forward strongly. “Baby no.” He managed to touch the younger, pulled him closer as he wrapped his arms around his neck tight. “Don’t go.” his eyes looked at the former’s face, ran his fingers through the back hair of Jimin as he watched it turns to black. 

“I’m waiting for you . . come to me.” Jimin held him back, but his arms were different around Yoongi. What the elder felt was his boyfriend getting taller, on his tiptoes he stood to grab him still, shoulder grew broader as he almost hanged on them. “W-What going on?” he breathed, watched how Jimin’s face started to change. “Yoongi . .” The younger called him before he started to fade slowly in his arms. “Yoongi.” His name was called even though the former was staring at his sleepy eyes. “Yoongi . . hyung! Yoongi hyung.” Yoongi shut his eyes, buried his face on the crook of Jimin’s neck for a minute, when he lifted his head, everything was gone. The man in his arms wasn’t Jimin but Jungkook, staring down at him with worried expression. The fireflies and the forest, the river and the ocean it was all gone. 

Yoongi wasn’t in the apartment, but he was outside in the cold air snuggling Jungkook with eyes staring with shock. The cars passing by got his attention as he let go hastily, turned in circles to see his surroundings, hands on the either side of his head. “Hyung are you alright?” The younger asked with panic, approached the latter slowly. Illusions was there again, more than every time that hunted him. “I was calling you but you never stopped to hear me. Are you really ok?” Yoongi watched him with tied tongue. What was he doing? Why did he end up out side the apartment? Those questions ran through his mind, without finding an answer. His illusions were getting worse every time Jimin wasn’t around him. “. . he’s awake.” He breathed, lifted his eyes to look at Jungkook one last time. Not a second passed when he found himself running toward the hospital, wearing nothing but his light clothes in the cold breeze. 

When he reached in front the huge window his pale palms touched the glass, he knew even if Jimin didn’t open his eyes still but he needed him. He needed him there to grab his hand and whisper in his ears until he gathers his strength to open his eyes. “Dammit hyung! How could you make me run like this after you!” Panting Jungkook stood by his side, hand on his shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. “He’s not awake, hyung are you really ok?” But there was no answer. All he did was, staring at the pale guy whose eyes were focusing on his boyfriend until he heard the footsteps of the doctor in the hallway approaching them. “C-Can I go in?” Yoongi never stopped himself from asking, the way the doctor watched him made him sigh and bit his lower lip. “Please . . let me in I want to talk to him. I know he can hear me.” He pleaded, and heard a sigh from the doctor. 

“I’m sorry but I can’t let you in unless you were one of his family members.” The man in front of him lowered his head the moment he watched the broken eyes Yoongi showed. “. . hyung.” Jungkook rubbed his back but the elder was insisted, he wanted to talk to his boy as soon as possible. Those illusions meant a lot, they were guiding him to something he should never avoid. “B-But . . I’m his boyfriend.” Those words lit Yoongi’s face, pale palm rubbed his nape as he wanted to hide his face. With another sigh, the door was opened slightly for him for one reason, Jimin was getting better and that was it. He was able to welcome his visitors, one by one in the room. The path was opened for Yoongi to touch Jimin again, to feel his skin and grab his hand to whisper in his ears. Jungkook watched through the huge window, the way Yoongi was approaching his friend slowly curved his lips slightly. 

The laying body above the white rumbled sheets on the hospital bed, the soft sedative face and the tranquil breathing. After weeks Yoongi was able to see them again, closely, with pounding heart in his chest. “. . Hey baby.” He whispered, stretched his hands to grab Jimin’s paralyzed small one as he leaned slowly. “Can you here me?” Thumb started to caress the soft skin gently, gulped hard before he continued with closed eyes. “It have been weeks, and I was allowed to talk to you minute ago. Jimin open your eyes and see me, I missed you like hell. I’m lost in my illusions without you, and I just can’t stop seeing you. You’re there, telling me to come to you, holding me and trying to protect me even though you’re just sleeping here. Do you know how empty I feel when you are not laying beside me?” Yoongi lifted the hand between his to his forehead with a deep breath. 

“Jimin they said you will wake up after two months. But then the snow will disappear and melt under the sun, the flowers will bloom and I want to watch the first petal with your hand in mine, with your smile curving your lips, with your eyes meeting mine. Baby please . . I want everything to be warmer. Jungkook is here, he never left my side but there is something missing. You’re missing. I can’t do anything without you by my side.” When he closed his eyes, the grass of the forest surrounded him again. But this time, Jimin was the one sleeping on the grass, surrounded by velvet and pink flowers. Still holding his hand, he leaned the weight of his head on the former’s chest. “Jimin I have become stronger, I train more before I come to see you. Minhyuk told me to leave you, but no, I decided to refuse what’s wrong and fight back.” After all this time, every single feeling, every single bother in his chest was out, every weight lightened his chest with every letter he let out to his sleeping boyfriend. 

“Will you do me a favor and wake up already.” When he lifted his head from the younger’s chest he couldn’t believe his eyes. Those precious tears were rolling down Jimin’s face, one after another. In the end Yoongi was right, Jimin was awake, all he needed to do was open his eyes to the world already. Every single word echoed in the younger’s ears, wished if he can open his eyes and hold his boyfriend, wished if he can close his hands and squeeze the pale hand, wished if he can get up and kiss him deeply already. Yoongi smiled involuntary, wiped the falling tears with his thumbs as he leaned slowly. “I was right. You were right when you told me to come to you. Baby I love you so much, just know that I’ll come to talk to you everyday until the day I see your eyes opens slowly to meet mine first of everything.” The elder pushed a warm smile, pressed his pink lips on the younger’s forehead for seconds before he pulled back when he was called. 

The doctor told him to leave the room already as he did what he was told. “He heard me . .” He whispered the moment the door closed behind him. “H-He heard me . . I wiped his tears with my own thumbs . .” As if it was the strangest thing ever happened to Yoongi, he stared at his thumbs, hand on his shoulder lifted his head to look back at the doctor who smiled at him. “Mr Park can hear you, he wakes up and go back to sleep but he can’t open his eyes at the same time he doesn’t know where he is exactly. This is how coma goes. Sometimes it lasts forever until the person pass away but Jimin is going to wake up I’m sure of it.” Jungkook caressed Yoongi’s upper arm, soothing him for some reason as the two smiled at the doctor. 

When the doctor left, Yoongi looked at his boyfriend one last time as his chest warmed. “Hyung, how are we going to go back when you’re in your socks only?” Jungkook got his attention with eyes dropping to his feet with a soft chuckle. “I’m sorry though.” He breathed, scratched his head before he watched the younger bend down in front of him. “Let’s go back home Hyung. You can’t walk without shoes.” The younger was the happiest when he lifted the light body of Yoongi on his back, piggybacked him all the way to the apartment. “How many time left for Jimin to wake up?” He heard the elder mumbling in his ear, placed him down once they reached the main door as he unlocked it. “One month passed, he needs one more month.” The younger headed toward the kitchen right away while Yoongi threw himself on the couch with a loud sigh. 

Eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, the soft skin of Jimin’s hand was still against his palm. When he lifted his hand to look at it, he watched the former’s hand still holding his, intertwining their fingers together in sweet tangles. “What are you doing here?” His imaginations were cut when he heard a familiar voice, jerked from his place to look back at Minhyuk crossing his arms beside the couch. “I told you to leave this fucking apartment and why are you still here, huh?” the former sounded angry, those familiar flames surrounded him again. At the same time, Jungkook rushed outside the kitchen when he heard his friend’s voice in the living room. “Look at you. . mute again- 

“I have a tongue! I’m not fucking mute!” Yoongi cut him fast, furrowed his brows as he got enough from Minhyuk. In the end he surprised the former who looked at Jungkook chuckling in a low tone. “Oh really! Since when do you have the courage to talk back?” Minhyuk rose one brow as he smirked, dropped his arms down with small little steps toward the pale guy. “Do you think I’m a simple guy who you can play with easily.” The elder among them laughed slightly “Just watch your actions cause I’m getting enough from you already. No matter what you’re planning just wash everything away. To YOU I should show my true self and bury you in the ground.” His voice got hoarser, deeper and that made Jungkook jump in his place fanning over him. 

“What the fuck are you happy about?” Minhyuk furrowed his brows as he turned toward Jungkook hastily. Yoongi smirked and covered his mouth with his hand. For some reason, even to him it was kind of funny. “I still can’t believe he talked.” The former pointed at the elder with eyes steady on Jungkook. Thunder was still between them, even when they ate around the table Minhyuk would throw glares at the elder or kick him under the table. “Hyung I’m watching you.” The youngest among them rolled his eyes, grabbed Yoongi’s hand all the way to the training room. Gloves were thrown at him, on the ring he stood facing Jungkook for that day’s practice. “Jimin will be proud of me for making you stronger.” The younger chuckled, gained nothing but curves of Yoongi’s lips. 

After that practice they laid on the platform of the ring, staring up at the window as they watched the sun goes down. “We can’t leave him out there alone. I want to go there to see him again.” Yoongi sighed lowly, stayed still in his place till the stars started to glow in the night sky. Jimin was in his head, the whole time, wondering when he’ll wake up and wishing for him to open his eyes soon. After what happened he realized one thing, the life without his boyfriend. Boring, depressing and dark, because after all Jimin was fun and brings life to lives. Under the warm water he stood, washed the dried sweat away and inhaled deeply. When he closed the water, towel wrapped around his waist, smaller one on his head to leave the bathroom. His feet stopped, took few steps back as he turned to face the mirror in the bathroom that was covered with steam. 

How long passed since the last time he watched his reflection? Yoongi couldn’t remember, because that was when he broke the mirror in Jimin’s room. With his pale hand he wiped the steam away slowly, making him nervous with every second passed around him. The first thing his eyes captured was the damp bright hair, dripping water to his soaked skin to join the other drops and slides down his torso. Heart beats never calmed down, fear was there when he met his own dark sleepy eyes, they were small as ever along with his nose and lips. When he watched how his face was turning to black as his parts started to fade he wanted to turn his gaze away, to avoid the monster in the mirror but hands around his stomach froze him in his place. “Baby . .” It wasn’t real when Jimin’s illusion surrounded him again, gluing him in his place even though he wanted to run away from the mirror. “Look at how beautiful you are.” The voice was only echoes, in his head, but the warmth of Jimin’s body behind him felt real. 

“Your eyes, you nose and your lips that I’m craving for is such a wonderful beauty.” Yoongi wanted to scream, but the darkness of his face his eyes captured was mixed with his face parts. “. . no. no no no.” He was whispering, but Jimin was holding him firmly. “Positivity remember? Watch carefully. This darkness will disappear soon if you focused at your beauty a bit more. Look, it’s coming back again.” Yoongi started to panic. True, his parts were moving back to it place on his face as he watched the darkness leaking down his face like thick mud. They were back in his face, his eyes, nose and lips, exactly what Jimin was telling him. “. . see.” After that one last echo, the arms around him disappeared, Jimin vanished as he turned hastily, head left and right to look for the younger. 

“. . crazy. I’m getting crazy.” The elder bend down on the bathroom floor, hands on his head as he wanted to scream. No sound. When he got up on his feet again, he looked at his reflection with parted lips. “Positivity?” he breathed, for a minute he stared at himself. Pale skin as snow, pink lips and black eyes, were these what Jimin really loved? He asked himself in his inner. “If I was ugly no one would have loved me . . but you did.” The younger was in his mind when he spoke to himself, watched his reflection perfectly for the first time before he left the bathroom to grab some clothes.


	24. I missed you

The snow melted under the sun’s light, bald shoots let the tiny leaves out to hang there and welcome the birds one more time. Flowers started to bloom to fill the air with its smell. Winter faded as spring opened the doors. Yoongi tightened his hands underneath the boxing gloves, punched the bag one last time before he tried to catch his breath. Beads of sweat rolled down his bare arms and neck, heat surrounded him as he rushed toward the kitchen to grab a cold bottle of water from the fridge. Against the dining table he leaned, looked around him, the empty living room and kitchen, the quietness in the air, Yoongi didn’t know when the apartment will be alive again. Even though one and a half more month passed but his man never opened his eyes. 

After a quick shower, he buried himself in skinny jeans and a shirt, walked toward the living room again with a towel on his head. His vibrating phone made him stretch his hand to grab it from the coffee table. “Yes kook?” He smiled the moment he spoke, dried his hair with his free hand with legs walking toward the huge window. “Hyung I’m waiting downstairs, if you’re done please hurry down.” The younger on the other line spoke, hung up the call when Yoongi told him he was done already, even though the edge of every hair was still soaking but his feet rushed down the building to jump in the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car. Just like their usual routine, go to the hospital to see Jimin, talk to him and leave when the visiting hours are done, practice in the training room or they throw themselves on the couches without any much words. 

“Let’s go.” Yoongi pushed a smile, done the seatbelt and faced the front. Jungkook moved the car after he pulled down the windows. The sweet spring breeze hit them, the smell of the fresh plants filled their nostrils. For some reason, he couldn’t stop the excitement in him to see Jimin’s face, even though he was still in coma but Yoongi was happy to grab his hand and talk to his sleeping body. When they reached the hospital, he jumped from the car with running feet toward Jimin’s room, not being patient to intertwine his finger’s with the former’s. Just before he stopped in front of the door, he froze his feet in their place, wanted to take few steps back but he gathered some courage. Did the wind blow some dust in the hospital or his luck in that day was bad? Jooheon was there standing with eyes focusing on the glass, eyes glued on Jimin without a single notice of Yoongi’s presence. 

“What are you doing here . . ?” The elder bit his lower lip, gulped when he approached slowly, lifted his eyes to look back at his boyfriend. Jungkook stood beside him not long after. “Can we talk?” Jooheon sighed, finally met the sleepy eyes after a long time. “It won’t take so long, I promise.” The former’s voice was quite low, sighed when Yoongi stared at him blankly. He didn’t wait for an answer, when he turned his feet he knew the elder would do the same and follow him. “Hyung. .” The youngest grabbed Yoongi’s pale wrist, bit his lower lip when the former pulled his wrist gently back mumbling he’ll be alright. 

Yoongi followed Jooheon outside the hospital, leaned against the wall with hands shoved in his pockets. “How’s he doing?” The younger asked, kicked a tiny rock was resting on the ground as he turned toward the former with a slight grin. His question wasn’t answered, Yoongi just stood there staring at anything but the guy in front of him. “I didn’t know he is in coma . . since the last match with him.” He sighed, scratched his head as he spat some saliva on the ground. “This is all your fault.” Yoongi finally spoke, rolled his eyes the next second. “If you didn’t punch him that hard he wouldn’t have ended up here for two fucking months.” He wanted to go back in when his arm was grabbed, pulling him back. 

“Well what do you think happened to me? We both wanted to win you so we fought for you!” Jooheon pointed at the former, sounded angry when his hand was tossed away.

“I don’t care about you! All I care for is that Jimin wake up without anything wrong with him. And if something happened to him again, I won’t forgive your sorry ass.” Yoongi furrowed his brows, clenched his fists as he wanted to punch the man with him. “I’m so fucking happy Jimin won that stupid deal you made.” When he ended his words, his back collided with the wall with a bit of force, suppressed whimpers escaped from between his parted lips. 

“Min fucking Yoongi!!” Jooheon yelled his name, grabbing some eyes of passersby. “Just know that I was waiting patiently. I pulled my hands back off of you for quite time now, but if I dug something in my head you know what’s going to happen right?” He clenched his teeth, wrapped one arm around the pale neck as he pulled him closer strongly. “Let me go! Your deal was to pull you hands back, off of me!” Yoongi tried to push the former, with his hands on the either side of Jooheon he pushed him back as he lifted his fist right away, wanted to smack him but he was towed closer one more time. “Then let me hold you for the last time, hm?” He struggled more, the words in his ears did nothing put returned the panics he lost for months. “No stop it!” Yoongi pushed him again, tried to free himself but arms around him were strong enough to break his thin body. 

The moment he pulled himself back, his knuckles collided with Jooheon’s face as he panted in his place. “I told you to stop. .” His feet took one step back, turned away as he rushed back in the hospital when Jooheon was going to grab him again. Hid himself behind the toilet’s door with hand on his chest. Something felt off, even though he was able to punch Jooheon for the second time but there were some weird feelings in Yoongi’s chest, warning him and threatening him not to make any wrong move. His head tilted to the back, shut his eyes tight as he slid down against the door. “. . not again.” He breathed, wrapped his arms around himself for minutes before he left the restroom, headed all the way back to Jimin’s window. 

“Hyung! Are you alright?” Jungkook asked right away, placed his palms on Yoongi’s shoulders as he scanned him from head to toes. “Yeah yeah I’m fine.” The elder sighed, twisted the doorknob of Jimin’s door as he let himself in. Chair was pulled near the bed, his pale hand touched Jimin’s paralyzed one, leaned his head closer as he closed his eyes and calm his raging chest. “Hey baby . . how you doing today?” His voice was hushed against the soft skin. Jimin had had lost a lot of weight, his face looked thin and his healthy body was flesh covering his bones. “Until when are you going to make me miss you like this? Hurry up I want to hear your voice.” He gulped, lifted his hand with hand stretching all the way to the former’s cheek, caressed gently before he leaned his head closer, collided his forehead against Jimin’s temple with a low breath. 

On bed, to fill the useless narrow space beside Jimin’s body he climbed, laid beside him with closed eyes. “I missed sleeping beside you . . do you know how I can’t sleep when you’re not there?” His thumb was steady, caressing the soft skin of Jimin’s face as he was drowning in the warmth of his body. For a second he felt the real breeze of spring, felt home again and comfort. All these feelings drifted him no where but to Jimin’s world, joined him in his sleep with hands touching him. Jungkook smiled slightly at them before he turned his feet away, hung up Minhyuk’s call to meet him. 

Yoongi couldn’t feel anything but a familiar scent. The scent of Jimin’s sheets underneath them, the scent of Jimin’s skin, the softness of it was against his nose. Arms around him made him smile as he opened his eyes suavely to find himself locked between the strong muscled arms. Did Jimin wake up already and grabbed him back? He wondered when he lifted his head slowly to look back at his boyfriend staring down at him with his brown eyes. “Hey beautiful.” Jimin smiled, brushed the bright bangs away from Yoongi’s forehead as he leaned for a kiss. But how? Yoongi wondered. How were they in Jimin’s room when he was in the hospital not long time ago. When he lifted his body slightly from bed, he looked around him with surprise. “Jimin . . how are we here? I mean when did you. . ?” The elder bit his lower lip, locked his eyes with Jimin’s as he ran his finger’s on the bare tan torso. 

“What do you mean why are we here? You’re confusing me like the last time. . didn’t you come for me all this time. It’s my time to open my eyes for you my beautiful.” Jimin turned on his back, pulled the elder on him as he cupped the thin cheeks. The sky was clear blue; the sun was breaking through the opened curtains all the way to hit their skin. They didn’t know for how long they stared at each other’s reflection on their eyes, as if they were keeping one another deeply inside. “I missed you . .” The elder whispered, gulped when he felt warmth behind his eyeballs. Tears gathered slowly as he leaned his head down on the former’s bare chest. On the crook of Jimin’s neck he buried his face, gripped into his shoulders as he sniffed lowly. “Baby no . .” Jimin never stopped his hand from stroking Yoongi’s head, leaned several times to plant deep kisses on his bright hair. 

“Look I’m all good, why are you crying. I don’t like to see your tears.” The younger curved his lips, lifted the former’s head as he cupped his cheeks again. “Didn’t we agree to stay strong?” He spoke softly, letters were flying to Yoongi’s ears gently, stopping his tears right away. “Yeah. . but I’m weak when it comes to you.” Yoongi sniffed one last time, leaned his forehead to touch Jimin’s as he closed his eyes slightly. Arms around his waist made him tilt his head to the side, slid his lips against the puffy ones with mixed feelings in his chest. Oh how he missed those lips against his, how he missed the way Jimin wraps his arms around him, how he missed the sweet words in his ears like a choir. When he was flipped on his back, he tried to catch his breath with Jimin above him. 

The orange color was sliding down Jimin’s head, fading as his black hair started to show. Yoongi ran his pale fingers through the silky hair as he pulled the younger one more time closer for a passionate kiss. “Hurry up and wake up. . I can’t wait to feel you for real.” The elder was turned on his side, arms back around him as he buried himself again into Jimin’s warmth. Closed his eyes as he felt the familiar strokes on the back of his head. When Yoongi opened his eyes again, the strokes were steady but in the hospital bed. They were peaceful, sending him to the real place of comfort. The moment he realized what was going on, he jerked from his place t o stare down at Jimin. Awake. Beside him, stroking his head. But when? How? Yoongi was still dreaming when the former smiled at him warmly. “. . hi.” The younger spoke in a low weak tone. 

From the shock, Yoongi couldn’t believe the sweet sound he heard in his ears. After almost three months he was able to hear it clearly in his ears but not in his illusions. “J-J-Jimin . . y-you . . finally you . .” Yoongi’s tongue tied, he stuttered as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Y-You’re awake . .” He tried to curve his lips, to let out a soft laugh from happiness but he couldn’t expect his tears to fall down his face. Just before he yells for the doctor he sneaked his arms underneath the laying body as he snuggled his boyfriend tight. “You’re awake . . you’re finally awake!” Yoongi repeated, showered the younger’s shirt as he felt arms wrap around him back. “. . You sound as if I slept for years. It’s just one day.” The younger chuckled slightly, tried to sit slowly when Yoongi pulled his weight back. 

“One day? You were in coma for months!” The elder bit his lower lip, helped Jimin to lean his back into the white pillow. “You can’t be serious. I’ve been here for months? Did you welcome spring without me?” Jimin closed his hands and opened them again, tried to move his limps after a long sleep. At the same time the doctor came in with a huge grin. “Park Jimin! You’re finally up.” He smiled, approached the younger to check on his condition. “This is a miracle! After all this time you’re awake. Do you feel any dizziness?” When he asked, Jimin shook his head as he stretched slightly. “I’m really glad you’re awake. But you can’t leave the hospital right away. After two days you might.” The doctor smiled one last time, closed the machines and left the room with papers in his hands. 

Jimin sighed lowly, closed his eyes for seconds before he opens them again to wander toward the elder who was standing beside the bed staring back at him with blank expressions. As if he was still in shock, in a total oblivion. “come here. .” He opened his arms for him, waited for seconds before he closed them around his man. “I’m so sorry if I left you alone all this time.” Words were whispered in Yoongi’s ears, shutting his eyes tight with arms around his man’s neck. “I hate you for sleeping for so long. I really hate you.” The elder hid his face, on the crook of the younger’s neck as he sniffed lowly. Inhaled the familiar scent as he nuzzled on the soft skin. “Ah . . You’re like a dream.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, rubbed his cheek against the younger’s with hand touching the orange color at the end of Jimin’s hair. It’s going to vanish soon. 

“And no . . I wasn’t alone, Jungkook was with me the whole time.” He smiled when Jimin touched his thin cheeks with his fingertips, poked his nose, smiled the most precious smile Yoongi missed this whole time. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?” The elder shook his head, tried to push a smile as he leaned into the touches, hands climbed all the way to the back of Jimin’s hands as he caressed gently. “Is it my imagination or you grew some muscles in your arms.” The younger chuckled, slid his hands down to grab Yoongi’s upper arms. “Hold on! How dare you become more beautiful!” At this, the elder couldn’t hide his blush and chuckle sweetly. All he wanted to do was to hold still into Jimin, wrap himself around him, and he did, he moved closer to snuggle his boyfriend one more time. “Baby . .” Jimin whispered, closed his eyes to collide his head with Yoongi’s, to feel the warmth of his body and the fresh scent of him. 

“Do you know how long I waited to hear this from you?” Yoongi swallowed saliva down his throat, cursed in his inner when he let go the moment Jungkook rushed in the room. “Hyung!!!!” He almost yelled, jumped on his friend with a loud laugh. “Hyung finally you’re awake!!” The youngest among them almost flew in his place, grabbed Jimin’s hand from excitement as he crawled closer on the other side beside him. “Hyung I really missed you!” He continued, gave Jimin one last hug before he grinned widely at Yoongi. 

“Hey . .” Minhyuk spoke in a low tone, rubbed his nape with a slight curve on his lips. 

“Hey hyung.” Jimin laughed slightly. Wiggled at his friend to approach and give him a quick hug.

 

Two days was way too much for Yoongi. He couldn’t stop his enthusiasm to take Jimin back home, to their apartment. With his arm tangled with Jimin, he unlocked the door for him, walked with him all the way to the living room as he watched him threw himself on the couch. “Aaah home!” The younger opened his arms with closed eyes. When he felt the familiar warmth of his boyfriend’s body beside him, he wrapped his arms around him hastily as he pulled him closer to his chest. “Everything smells like you now. How wonderful.” Nose nuzzled on the former’s pale temple, planted a kiss there before he turned his face, to look at the pale skin. “You’re still a dream. . do you know how many times I got illusions with you, I’m just so happy you’re finally here with me. It felt so lonely without you.” Yoongi spoke without skipping a beat, ran one hand through the side of Jimin’s hair. 

“I’m sorry again . . I was kinda shocked when you told me I was in coma though. I Just thought I was sleeping for quite time.” The younger sighed lowly, leaned gently for a deep kiss on the elder’s hair that covered his forehead. “Your hair really grew.” Jimin smiled slightly, ruffled Yoongi’s hair as he got on his feet. Even though they were a bit weak from being paralyzed on bed for quite time but he pushed some energy on them. “I’ll go change.” He breathed, headed toward the stairs all the way to his room. His room was clean, it seemed like it was cleaned every single day. The sheets didn’t have any wrinkles on them as they were straightened perfectly. Not a single dust. When he opened his closet, he watched his shirt flooding one under the other, pressed against each other neatly. 

At the hem of his shit he tugged lifted his shirt all the way up to his neck as he tossed it aside. When the door closed he turned his head to see Yoongi leaning against it, the moment their eyes locked he couldn’t believe the broken expression the elder had. Face gloomy, all the way closer to his own he watched him approaching. “Hey baby what’s wrong-

“I missed you.” Yoongi cut him, lifted his palm to rest on Jimin’s bare tummy as he took a deep breath. They climbed all the way to the former’s shoulder, face leaned closer to collide with Jimin’s chin. With heart skipping a beat, he closed his eyes the moment he felt Jimin nuzzling on his face, wrapped his arms around his waist as he pulled him closer. 

“I missed you so fucking much.”


	25. Because I'm worried

Silky hair tangling with his thin long fingers, body pressed against the strong body of Park Jimin, lips against his pale neck shut his eyes in pleasure. “. . Why does it feel like forever? I have been sleeping for quite time but I’m craving you like hell now.” Jimin was talking in a low tone, moving his puffy lips all the way up to the edges of Yoongi’s face. “I’m sorry again. .” He whispered, grabbed the elder’s hand as he dragged him toward the neat sheets. On his lap he pulled him, rested his head on the small hips with lips colliding with Yoongi’s pink ones. “Jimin you’re up now, I don’t care anymore about anything else.” Yoongi took a deep breath, straddled the younger and deepened the kiss with teeth nibbling on the puffy lips. 

“Baby, I want to love you but I’m still weak.” Jimin said after he pulled from the kiss they were sharing. His hand moved to Yoongi’s clothed member as he pressed his hand, locked his eyes with the dark ones before he let his fingers slides in. “I want to feel you more.” The younger gulped, closed his eyes suavely when the former leaned, pressed his lips on his tan neck as he sucked on his skin. “I still can’t please you’re here.” Yoongi brushed his lips as he heard the change of breaths escaping his man. “I don’t know how many times I already said this. . Jimin I swear I missed you like hell . . I felt empty, everything was dead.” He gasped when he felt strokes on his member, palm rubbing against the soft skin down there. When he undone Jimin’s pants, he pulled his member out to collide it with his. “I’m sorry again.” Jimin breathed, tilted his head back to the headboard as he grabbed their members with one hand. 

“Shh. .” The elder managed to swallow the low moans wanted to escape him. With his head resting on the former’s shoulder, he ran his free hand through Jimin’s hair. Along with their stroking hands he suppressed the load sounds, felt the warm tears at the corners of his eyes as he let them fall down Jimin’s bare skin. “Yoongi.” Like a soft blew it hit the elder’s ears, the name was as soft as a petal of flower. Kisses on his eyes made him chuckle, tightened his hand around their member with ears capturing the hard breathes of his boyfriend. “. . don’t cry I told you I don’t like it.” Jimin gasped, moaned loudly when the tip was caressed. Yoongi let out a breath, against the tan skin as he moaned in a low tone. The pace of their hands were fasting as they grabbed each other with their free hands. The elder ran his hand against the pale upper back, lifted his head to crash their lips in passionate kiss filled with missing and love. 

They showered their hands when they came together, heavy breathes mixed together in the narrow space between their faces the moment they let go of the messy kisses. They were facing each other when they laid on the sheets, pulled the blanket on them, held hands and stared into each others’ eyes. “Jiminie, don’t sleep.” Yoongi swallowed some saliva down his throat, at the same time Jimin’s expression was changing slowly. “. . why?” The younger pushed a slight smile, rubbed the former’s pale hand with his thumb gently. 

“I’m afraid you won’t wake up again.” Yoongi breathed, leaned his head slightly to press a soft kiss on the back of Jimin’s hand. The younger was listening, eyes glued on the former but his head was somewhere else, he was spinning. The room, Yoongi, and the deep voice of his man was like a chaos in front of him. He was dizzy. Maybe from the coma he was in, but Jimin felt more, his stomach was scratching him, his saliva dried in his mouth from the hard gulps. “Baby I’ll be fine . . but can you get me some water please.” Yoongi never rejected this, with slight nods he let go of Jimin’s hand, jumped from bed and left the room all the way down to the kitchen. The moment he felt nothing but the air around him, his body turned on his side, at the edge of the bed with hand on his mouth. He wanted to throw up, even though his stomach never welcomed any food since he opened his eyes to the world again. 

All the way to the bathroom he rushed, bent his knees with hands on the lid of the toilet. No more air was filling his lungs as he gasped, tried to let some air but feelings were choking him. His vision went blank, the fluid escaped his throat all the way outside his mouth to the toilet. Heavy breathes were filling the bathroom, echoing in his own ears as he couldn’t look at anything. “Jimin . .?” he heard Yoongi’s voice increasing around him. “Jimin are you alright!” The elder ran circles on the bare tan back, the way his man was breathing heavily clenched his heart. Jimin stayed in his place for minutes until he cooled down, his body leaned closer to Yoongi’s torso with closed eyes. “I need some water man . .” he breathed, took a deep inhale the moment he was lifted from the ground back on his feet with a help from Yoongi. 

“You can’t drink water after you threw up.” The latter sighed, sat at the edge of the bed when the younger laid on his back. Like a soft win Yoongi’s fingers ran through his hair, brushing his bangs to the back as he leaned closer to rest his head on his man’s lap. “Stay here with me ok?” Jimin exhaled, closed his eyes lowly as he breathed tranquilly. “Where do you think I’ll go. Of course I’ll stay here with you.” Yoongi stared down at the weight on his lap, with a low sigh he caressed the former’s silky hair. The black color of his hair was like the sea of the night sky, shiny like the stars. “Rest well. .” He whispered, pulled the blanket on his boyfriend as he leaned his back carefully against the headboard. Hand towed his hand closer Jimin’s chest, was held firmly just in case he doesn’t move from his place. It was clear, Jimin needed him by his side at that moment, when he’s weak, when he doesn’t have enough energy to crawl on top of his man. 

But when the morning lit the apartment, Jimin got up before Yoongi as his usual self before his coma to see him still in his position sleeping while sitting beside him, and when the former’s head tilted to the side accidentally his eyes opened slowly as he looked around him. “. . min.” Yoongi breathed, rubbed his eyes before he leaned closer on his boyfriend. The sound of the growls in Jimin’s stomach made him chuckle slightly before he lifted his hands all the way to the younger’s face. “You sound hungry.” Voice hoarse and sleepy first thing in the morning, like a lion’s cub’s voice. “I’m starving man.” Jimin yawned, wrapped his arms around his man as he kissed his hair. 

“HYUNG!!!” The door of the room cracked open when Jungkook rushed in grinning widely until he noticed the two cuddling in bed. “Oh man I’m sorry . .” He rubbed his nape with reddish cheeks as he wanted to leave the room just to be called by his friend. “What is it?” Jimin smiled slightly, when the weight on him was lifted he got up from bed. Palm captured key was thrown at him. “Your car is parked in the lot.” Jungkook chuckled when his friend looked at him with parted lips, never believed that he had his own car. “Are you for real! It’s here already!” Jimin almost jumped from excitement, his eyes captured his man for seconds as he watched him smiling back at him. “Congrats.” Yoongi smiled warmly. 

Jimin was eating with opened appetite, shoving the spoon of rice in his mouth with a deep breath, the way the food was swallowed down his throat made him smile in relief. Yoongi was serving him bowl after another, told him to eat slowly just in case he doesn’t choke. “Eat slowly . .” He spoke softly, moved from his seat to serve more rice in the bowl. “Man I feel like I haven’t been eating for years!” Jimin took a deep breath, buried his spoon in the soup as he sipped some in his mouth. 

“Hyung what are you going to do now?” Jungkook asked, his voice carried some worries and concerns, afraid his friend will go back to the ring and wrestle again. After what happened neither Jungkook and Yoongi wanted Jimin to go back to the ring, each one of them had a lot to say to him but waiting for the right time to come. “What do you mean what I’m going to do. I’ll train after I eat this.” The former spoke without skipping a beat, not noticed the broken expression on the other two faces. Just after he swallowed the last bite with some water, he carried the plates all the way to the sink’s embrace. “No you’re not training!” Jungkook slammed his hands on the dinning table startling Yoongi who tensed in his place. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you mad?” Jimin rolled his eyes, almost broke one plate while turning to face his friend. The elder among them all eyed Jungkook, bit his lower lip and tilted his head down, as if he was the one yelled at. “Forget about boxing. You’re not doing this ever again!” The youngest slammed his hands again, causing Yoongi to take few steps back from him. 

“Stop acting this way. You’re the one who encouraged me to do boxing when I showed some interest! What the hell are you babbling about?” 

“Yes it was a huge fucking mistake I did! I regret everything I did for you!” 

“I’m not going to stop! Whether you want me or not!” Jimin cursed under his breath, left the kitchen all the way to the training room as he slammed the door behind him. “Fuck . .” He breathed, ruffled his hair as he bent down near the door. All these years, all these matches he went through, all the gold belts and trophies he received, no, he can’t just quit boxing out of the blue. His dream and his future and present as well, everything will crumble in front of him. Not boxing, he loved it and nothing can stop him from going to the ring at all. When the door opened quietly and slightly, his eyes met Yoongi’s as he sighed. Against the small ring he leaned, crossed his arms against his chest with eyes steady on his man till he stood in front of him. “Hey baby . . Jungkook is just worried about you, you know?” When the pale hand rubbed his upper arm, his eyes closed for seconds as he was relaxing slowly. 

“But I’m with him . .” Yoongi gulped hard, ignored the brown eyes who stared down at him with frustration. Without any word he watched Jimin walking toward his gloves, grabbing the red ones as he wanted to wear them and face the bag that was filled with water. “baby . .” The elder breathed, stretched his hand to take the gloves back and put them away. “Yoongi what the fuck are you going?” Jimin clenched his teeth, cursed again the moment he watched the way Yoongi’s face was changing to gloomy. “Jimin I think you should stop.” The elder spoke in a low tone, made sure the former heard him before he took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to wrestle anymore.” For some reason Yoongi was afraid. Afraid from fighting about this with Jimin, afraid to be rejected right away but he knew after all this Jimin won’t listen to him, won’t give a single damn about whatever he wanted to say. 

“Yoongi stop it.” The younger ran his fingers through his hair. Whatever his ears were capturing did nothing but got in his nerves. “I don’t want to hear this from you.” He continued, grabbed his gloves back but was taken away from him. “Jimin can you listen to me?” Yoongi bit his lower lip, closed his eyes for seconds before he opened them suavely. “Yoongi give me the gloves.” Jimin was boiling with every second more. When Yoongi shook his head, whatever was beside him was punched hard. “Jimin I’m worried about you just like Jungkook. I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore . .please you should stop.” The elder tossed the gloves aside, away from his boyfriend who looked down at him with furrowed brows. “Yoongi . . I don’t want to hear this from you so I said stop.” The younger cursed under his breath one more time, gulped as he glared at Yoongi’s soft face. 

“Jimin I’m afraid something bad is going to happen to you. From the last match you were in coma and you woke up days ago, I don’t want you to hurt yourself again and gain nothing but worse pain and injuries. So please . . for me ok? Please you need to stop-

“Who the fuck are you to stop me!!” The younger yelled all of a sudden, watched how broken Yoongi’s face was along with his painful words. They did nothing but sank needles in the elder’s heart. The training room went dead but the heavy breathes of Park Jimin. When he realized what he said, he wanted to approach his man who took one step back. “Who am I?” Yoongi almost whispered “I’m just a stranger who’s worried about someone because he doesn’t want him to get fucking hurt and have to worry about anything anymore!” He completed his words with a turn to leave the suffocating room. No more. He didn’t want to see Jimin’s face at that moment as he grabbed the doorknob to leave just to be stopped by arms around his thin torso. “Baby no . . I didn’t mean it.” Jimin spoke in his ears, cursed when his arms were tossed away. 

“No stop it!” Yoongi almost yelled, pushed the former’s arms one more time as he left the training room all the way to his room, locked the door behind him. ‘He meant nothing to Jimin’ that was the only line in his head. Knocks on his door made him curse under his breath, no he didn’t want to talk to Jimin at that moment. All he wanted to do was to free his mind and cool down from the frustration and anger. “Go away Jimin!” He yelled at the younger behind the door, heard the knocks vanishes along with the footsteps, away from him. The sound of the door slamming above him made him bite his lower lip with a loud sigh.


	26. for you

Two days passed as if they were living on their own apartments. Yoongi said nothing, did nothing, all he did was eating in the same table with Jimin without a single word and after that he’d leave for some fresh air or hide in his room. Jimin wanted to apologize, wanted to fix what he did but the elder was refusing him with his glares. A huge wall blocked them from approaching each other, as if south and south pole in magnet lines wanted to connect but couldn’t. The sound of the punching bag in the training room was filling the whole apartment, Jimin was dripping sweat as he tossed his gloves aside with heavy breathes. Yoongi was the first one his eyes captured when he left the training room, eyes locked with the sleepy ones as they froze him in his place. “Still won’t talk to me?” He asked directly, dropped the towel around his neck beside him and tried to approach. 

Yoongi said nothing but took few steps back to walk toward the huge window in the living room. “I apologized more than 20 times man . . I told you I didn’t mean it why are you acting this way?” The younger followed him as he stood beside him with teeth biting his lower lip. And still, no words from Yoongi. “baby . .” Jimin gulped hard, fingertips rubbed his forehead as he turned away, grabbed a glass to pour some water. After his throat was irrigated his fingers tightened around the glass, was it anger or madness or the two in one under his skin boiling him. The way Yoongi was acting was playing with his feelings. “I can’t stop . .” At that time the elder turned toward him. “I can’t stop wrestling Yoongi. I got hurt once and I hope I don’t get hurt twice. I’m used to this.” The elder sighed, his pale long fingers ran though his bright hair as he cursed under his breath. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt you know. No more. The bruises you get, the cuts and the way you wake up sore the next morning. I don’t want them all, I don’t want to see you in pain.” It was the longest lines Jimin ever heard since two days, since the last word he heard from Yoongi when he ran back to his room. 

“Yoongi I understand this but I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t do this for you.” Jimin never locked his eyes with his man, all he did was tightening his fingers around the glass until he exploded and tossed it aside. It shattered into small pieces on the ground as he felt his chest moving rapidly. The action startled Yoongi, his feet took steps back involuntary, and it was noticed, his moves grabbed Jimin’s attention who tried to approach slowly. “I’m really sorry Yoongi-

“You’re being like him.” The elder breathed, his parted lips never closed as he tossed the hands that wanted to touch him aside. “. . Jooheon. You’re being like him. .” His feet never stopped moving away from the shocked expression on Jimin’s face. Not that, Jimin never wanted to hear at all. He showed Yoongi how he was different from that monster but his anger ruined everything. “Yoongi no . . no I’m not like him.” He breathed, cursed the moment Yoongi rushed in his room. After all this, none of them knew what happened to each other until the next morning. Yoongi woke up the moment he heard loud cries in the living room, shouting at each other. With a quick move, he opened the door to see Jungkook and Jimin, veins popped out in their necks and heavy breathes escaping the both. 

“Get the fuck away from my way! I’m going to the match whether you want me or not!” Jimin yelled, grabbed his bag from the ground as he hanged it on his shoulder, pushed the youngest aside and left the apartment in a total mess. “He won’t listen.” Jungkook collapsed on the couch, exhausted from his friend as he waited for Yoongi to approach and sit beside him. “He’s being stubborn as he ever is and I can’t control that properly. You should have tried you know?” he sighed when he watched the hurt on Yoongi’s face, clear as the sun. “He won’t listen to me, too.” The elder sighed. On the couch they sat with silence, wondering on their own oceans. No matter how many times Yoongi thought about it, but his stubborn boyfriend does whatever in his head. 

The TV was turned on, and that just made him jerk from his spot all the way in front of the screen. There was nothing still, but he wanted to wait for the man who never stopped making him worry. “When is this going to start?” Yoongi pointed at the screen as he asked the younger behind him. What if something happened to Jimin? What if he lost and hurt himself one more time? Lot of question wrapped its wings around the elder. “Soon.” Jungkook answered, threw a cushion at the man blocking the screen in front of him, when Yoongi whined he couldn’t stop his chuckle as he joined him down on the floor. “I hope he will be alright.” The elder said under his breath, involuntary his hands tugged on Jungkook’s sleeve with a deep inhale. “It’s okay, hyung.” Hand rubbing his upper arm slowed his nerves down, but in the end his heart would never calm down. 

Half an hour passed and they were waiting impatiently, Yoongi’s habit returned as he started to bite on his nails. There were other wrestlers and that made him nervous, waiting for his boyfriend to show after them though. “I don’t want to see this.” His sudden words confused Jungkook, he left the living room all the way to the training room, closed the door behind him as he grabbed Jimin’s favorite black gloves. “I tell you to stop . . but I’m here alone trying to train by myself without you.” Yoongi spoke in a low tone as he sighed, his hands slipped in the gloves, faced the huge bag with furrowed brows. Jimin was surrounding him, his scent, his hands on his arms to position him in his stance, his voice in his ears when he tells him to focus. Instead of watching his boyfriend getting hurt, he wanted to let the nervous out with his fists. 

The room was darkening around him, as if he was in a black room with the bag in front of him talking back to him, telling him to punch it as hard as he could. Jooheon never crossed his mind, but his feelings did. Every punch, every drop of sweat, every heavy breath, they meant a hidden suffocating feelings he was hiding in him, words wanted to reach Jimin’s ears but they were suppressed completely. “Jab Yoongi!” Jimin’s voice was around him the moment he threw a straight punch toward the bag. The action was repeated more than three times in row. “Again.” The younger said as he did, but when everything cleared in front of him, the black walls were shattering down like mirrors, revealing the room with his boyfriend in front of him grabbing the heavy bag for him. “J-Jimin . . how . .?” Yoongi choked on his own breath, dropped his fists on the either side of his body when grin showed on the younger’s face. 

“Well . . I came back so what do you think? I skipped that match, for you.” The younger ignored the sleepy eyes, rubbed his nape as he let go of the bag, approached his man slowly, managed to wrap his arms around him after the two horrible days he felt without talking to his man. “Yoongi I’m really sorry about what I said. I was angry from the sudden words I heard from you and Kook, and I just couldn’t stop my madness from escaping me. If you want me to stop, I would. But I need a lot of time, I can understand how you don’t want me to get hurt, just like how I don’t want you to.” Gloved fists rested on his back as he shut his eyes tight, relief filled him when he wasn’t pushed away this time. 

“I hate you.” The elder breathed with a pout, chin on the former’s shoulder as he smiled slightly. “I hate you because you always make me worry.” He spoke in a soft tone, brushed his cheek against Jimin’s when they let go to lock their eyes together. Nothing shocked him but the clear tears running down the younger’s face with forced smile. The gloves were tossed aside for one reason, to wipe the tears with his own thumbs and kiss the brown beautiful eyes. “Are you going to talk to me again?” Jimin bit hit lower lip when the soft fingertips touched his face, head nodding in front of him making him chuckle slightly. “I’ll talk to you again. But, don’t act like Jooheon . . please. You are starting to scary me.” Yoongi smiled slightly, stood on his tiptoes to press his lips on the younger’s hair that covered his forehead. 

“. . I’m sorry.” Jimin whispered, wrapped his arms one more time around his man as he kissed the side of his head. “I’ll be careful.” He continued. Under the ceiling of the trailing room he lifted his hands all the way to the pale cheeks to collide their foreheads together. “Thanks. I want you to stay different.” Yoongi flicked his tongue slightly on his dried pink lips, rested his pale hands on the former’s neck and tilted his head to the side, leaned closer until he locked the puffy lips between his. Jimin whimpered between their kiss, parted his lips to feel the softness of Yoongi’s, he missed them, two days, but he missed them like hell, missed his man as if they were parted for two years. “I love you.” He whispered, pulled back slightly for a quick breath before he leaned again, pushed his tongue in his man’s warm mouth with a low whimper. 

“I love you.” Yoongi never stopped himself from saying it too, long thin fingers climbed all the way to the back of his favorite silky hair, to mess it between their kiss and move closer to the strong body. “ . . hey,” It was a disappointment when Jimin broke their kiss, looked down at him with half closed eyes as he was dozed off from their lips. “You said you want to see how we look like together right?” He asked, gained nods from the elder before he intertwine their fingers, left the training room as they passed Jungkook all the way up the stairs to Jimin’s room. “What are you doing?” Yoongi rose one brow, gasped the moment Jimin stopped in front of his mirror, stood behind him as he watched their reflection together. “Jimin what are you doing?” He wanted to turn, even though he watched his reflection already but he wasn’t ready for this. When he tried to turn his feet away, Jimin grabbed him from behind with arms around his torso, freezing him. 

“No . . don’t go. Look at us.” Soft voice was echoing in his ears, eyes meeting Jimin’s through his reflections as he wanted to run away. “Look at me and you together, Yoongi.” The younger grabbed him firmly, watched how his man shut his eyes for seconds and opened them again. Yoongi wanted to relax, it was a sudden and he doesn’t want to ruin their connection again after they tangled one more time minutes ago. “We are a beautiful well combined piece. And you’re the one who make us more beautiful.” Jimin was almost whispering. With a soft lean, he nuzzled on the back of Yoongi ear, heard him gasping. “. . Jimin, stop.” The elder shut his eyes again, felt hand moving from his tummy all the way up to his jawline. “Yoongi, you should see us. You’re beautiful, everything in you is. Your soul, your heart, your pale skin, your face.” The words were too much for his pure heart to handle, with a slight sigh, he tilted his head to the side, allowing the small nose of his boyfriend to nuzzle on his pale neck. 

Yoongi would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. Even if he looked at his reflection before, but he needed some more time to look back at the mirror. When he tried to remember Jimin’s illusions around him, brightness surrounded him. But after all this, Jimin was real, surrounding him with his warmth and arms. “I want to show you how beautiful you are.” With the last line, his heart burst out of his chest, they way he watched how Jimin collided his lips with his skin, the way he felt shivers underneath his skin moved his adam’s apple up and down. “Jimin. .” He breathed his man’s name, parted his lips with hand moving up to the back of Jimin’s head to fist on his hair. The hem of his shirt was grabbed, made him shiver under his boyfriend’s touches. “No Jimin.” Yoongi didn’t want to see his bare body, didn’t want his eyes to capture the prominent bones. But the way his shirt was tossed aside, and his body pressed against Jimin’s froze him in his place. 

“Jimin please . .” Nothing responded to his voice but steady lips on his skin. When Jimin took off his shirt, he pulled his man back to his chest, tilted his head to the back to flick his tongue on the soft skin. “You’re beautiful in my arms.” Yoongi watched the both of them, reflection moving along with their bodies. His arms rested on Jimin’s, head on the tan bare shoulder with closed eyes to feel the shoved flesh of his skin between the younger’s teeth. Chest moved rapidly, heart pounded with butterflies in his stomach. “I can’t handle this.” The elder said breathlessly, whimpered in a low tone when he felt palms exploring his torso as if it was the first time for them to touch, trailed down to his sweatpants to shove his fingers in and wrap them around Yoongi’s member. “You can. You’re even more beautiful when I touch you and change the way you breathe.” Jimin smiled between his moving lips, suppressed the low moans with his lips crashing with his man’s. 

In a second he pulled his man’s pants down, grabbed his wrists as he pushed him forward onto the vanity. “Jimin will you stop . . I can’t see myself like this.” Yoongi spoke between his heavy breathes, punched the surface of the vanity several times to endure the pain he felt all of a sudden in his lower body. It has been months since he was stretched, it has been a long time since he felt his boyfriend in him. “You’re seeing the both of us, me inside of you, holding you, and kissing you.” Jimin leaned forward, slid his arms under his man as he moved his hips, gained low sounds from his man. It was an awkward situation, embarrassing Yoongi like hell. The way he watched his lips parting in the mirror made his heart stop, but when he watched how Jimin’s face was filled with love toward him he couldn’t stop his fingers from intertwining with his. 

“Dammit Jimin! W-What are you . . doing to me?” The elder moaned loudly, swore under his breath the more he felt Jimin thrusting in him. “I’m showing you how beautiful you are.” The wrestler firmed his grip around Yoongi, fastened his pace to hear the different sounds from between his man’s soft pink lips. His man was in a total mess, watching his reflection from time to time with hands gripping Jimin as tight as he could. They shared sloppy kisses, moaned each others’ names until Jimin gave his last thrusts to his boy and slowed his movement. Yoongi stayed still, gripping into his man with heavy breathes, sweat dropped down their bodies from the heat surrounded them. “I love you . .” He whispered, felt the younger resting his chin on his shoulder as he looked at their reflection again. “I love you too baby.” Jimin slipped out of him, carried his boyfriend all the way back to bed, laid on top of him and crashed their lips in a passionate kiss. 

“Another round?” He asked the elder under him who chuckled softly, wrapped his arms around the tan neck and parted his legs, pulled Jimin down for another sloppy kiss as a response.


	27. He's coming

All he could see, fingertips touching the numbers on the lock of the door, sounds of the numbers filling the hallway along with the twist of the doorknob. It was dark, in the middle of the night where the lights were off, nothing was heard but the sharp sound of silence in the whole place. Yoongi opened his eyes to low sound he heard, like a lost kid he looked around him on bed for his boyfriend who wasn’t there. There wasn’t anything able for his eyes to see, all he could do was touching things with his pale hands. It was freezing cold, the air conditioners in the whole apartment were in the highest temperature. In his sleeveless shirt and shorts he let his feet touch the cold floor as he stood slowly from bed. “. . Jimin are you near?” He spoke in low tone, swayed his arms in the air for something to grab. 

“Yoongi.” 

The elder tensed in his place once he heard his name, shivers underneath his skin made him take few steps back and spin in his place. It was the soft voice of his boyfriend, but it was deep and different, hoarse and tough. It was a complete horror when he felt hands touching the either side of his body, with a quick move he moved away, heart burst out of his chest along with heavy breathes escaping him all of sudden. He was feeling, but couldn’t see anything at all. When his back touched the wall, he didn’t know which one he was against as he kept touching hastily until he felt the frame of the door. The huge windows in the living room were allowing the moonlight to lit the place, it wasn’t as useful as he thought when he left the room and turned right away to look at the silhouette approaching him. “Why are you doing this to me?” The silhouette spoke, arms lifted to stretch in front of Yoongi. 

“Get away from me!” Yoongi was running away, inside the apartment, almost tripped when he couldn’t notice the stare in the living room as he was going to fall. But the voice was familiar, he used to hear it everyday before but after a quite time he forgot about it. It wasn’t Jimin, and Yoongi was sure about it. His boyfriend would never scare him like this even if he was joking and teasing him. “What do you want!” He yelled all of a sudden. Yoongi was smart enough to move fast toward the window for more brightness to see the silhouette’s face. “You.” When the light lit the person’s face, blood dripping down to the ground, big bruises with cuts covering Joohean’s face. Yoongi found himself gasping, hands covering his mouth as he couldn’t blink at all, tongue tied in his mouth. “Jimin is bad . . You shouldn’t stay with him. He did this to me and I came to take you away from him.” Jooheon spoke, loud enough for Yoongi’s ears to hear. 

“. . liar.” The elder breathed, one step to the side and he found himself running in the dark apartment all the way up the stairs to Jimin’s room. Door flew open as he watched Jimin there, jerking from his place to light the room from the sudden noise of the door. “Yoongi! Hey baby what’s wrong?” The younger asked, jumped from bed all the way to his boyfriend who rushed toward him with arms wrapping around his neck tightly. “He’s coming . . he’s coming . . he’s coming.” Yoongi was repeating, heavy breathes echoing in Jimin’s ears as he felt arms wrap around him tightly, protecting him with a huge wall locked them alone. “Hey shhh . . it’s okay, it’s okay. Who’s coming? No one is here.” Jimin kissed the elder’s head, stroked the back of his hair, swayed him in his arms for seconds. “It’s okay.” He repeated in Yoongi’s ears, but his man was still repeating his words about Jooheon. 

When Yoongi opened his eyes in horror, he found himself panting hardly in Jimin’s arms, on bed, strokes steady in his head with sweet words in his ears. Beads of sweat rolled down his temples and bare torso, was it real or not? Yoongi couldn’t tell at all. “Are you alright?” Jimin asked, loosed his arms gently to look down at his man panting still, he watched how Yoongi parted his lips to speak but nothing came out at all expect the same words ‘He’s coming.’. 

“Yoongi no one is here. . no one is coming-

“Jooheon.” The elder cut his man fast, bit his lower lip as he ran his fingers through his hair from fear. “I’m sure of it Jimin. Soon he’ll come to me.” The look on Jimin’s face made him snuggle his man again, buried his face on the crook of his neck, looking for shelter again and warmth. “Baby it’s okay, I’m here with you so don’t feel scared. Come here let’s get out of bed.” The younger never let go of his man, he slipped his arms under him as he lifted him from the sheets all the way to the bathroom under the streaming water. “Let’s take a shower and then eat out, yeah?” He cupped his man’s thin cheeks, smiled slightly at him and never let go until he watched the smile creeping on Yoongi’s face with a nod. 

“I need a fresh air after all.” 

After their shower, they headed downstairs right away to the main door. Yoongi grabbed Jimin’s hand once they left the apartment and never let go until they reached Jimin’s new car. “Is there any specific place you want to go to?” The younger asked, noticed the elder’s actions when he never wanted to let go of his hand even when he started the engine. “No . . anywhere is fine.” Yoongi didn’t want to talk much, with his hand tightening around Jimin’s he leaned his head against the window as he took a deep breath. A day with Jimin, it would be peaceful after the vision he watched in the morning. “Do you think fireflies exist?” It was a sudden question from Yoongi, from the corner of his eyes he noticed Jimin looking at him for seconds before he faced the front again. “Fireflies exist, Yoongi.” The wrestler smiled slightly, caressed Yoongi’s soft skin with his thumb. “I used to see fireflies every nearly summer time.” He continued, bit his lower lip as he lifted the back of the elder’s hand to plant a kiss. 

“I want to see fireflies. .” The elder smiled back, leaned his head to the other side to kiss Jimin’s temple before they stepped out of the car to eat. He was silent the whole time, insisted his boy to set beside him and grip on him while eating until they finish. Yoongi was dead scared, he believed in his vision and illusions, and Jooheon might show any time and steal him away in a flash of light. “I want to take you somewhere . . but it’s up high in the mountains, is that fine?” The question grabbed his attention as he nodded at his boyfriend. In the mountains, were no one can find him there but Jimin. “Yeah totally. I want to go to a quiet place after all.” He finished his line with a smile to his man.

There was nothing in the mountain would take Jimin there but his grandma’s house. The house he grew in with a bit of conflict. Even though he didn’t want to take Yoongi there but he wanted his man to meet his kind grandma. They drove away from the city, to directions and paths together hand in hand in the car. Every street was new to Yoongi, houses and buildings were far behind them, narrow streets took them between the high trees and mountains. “You said you used to see fireflies before, right?” Yoongi asked the younger who hummed as response. “Where?” Jimin was focusing on the road before he smiled slightly to his boyfriend. “Well . . I’m taking you there though. My grandma’s house is in the mountain and when I was young I used to see them every year near the river.” From the corner of his eyes he was able to see the elder’s smile with every word he let out. 

A river, fireflies, night, they were all in one illusion Yoongi watched before with his boyfriend when he was in coma still. If it happened right in front of him, shivers underneath his skin will make him quiver. “So you’re taking me to your grandma’s house.” The elder turned on some music in the car before he pulled down the window for new air. The last vision was running in his head, from the fingertips that touched the numbers on their doorknob of the apartment till he woke up panting in Jimin’s embrace. If Jimin beat the shit out of Jooheon that badly that means something heavy is going to happen, if Jooheon said Jimin is bad and he’ll take him away that means Jimin is going to do something big. The ideas never settled in Yoongi’s head, he was scared at the same time he wanted to ask his man lot of questions. 

“Jimin he’s coming.” The line was repeated one more time that day. The wind was hitting Yoongi’s face as he closed his eyes slightly. “What did you see this time?” Jimin wondered out loud, stretched one hand to Yoongi’s head as he ruffled his hair, grabbing his attention and told him he was there with him. From where should the elder start, Yoongi thought. Just before he spoke, Jimin stopped the car in front of a house surrounded by trees and beautiful garden. “There we go.” The younger smiled, opened his door to walk all the way to the other side to open the passenger door for his man and plant a kiss on his head. “Feel like home, alright?” When Yoongi nodded, he dragged him all the way to the main door. Without a knock or ring from the bell, he opened the door and walked inside looking for no one but his grandma. 

The house was dead; the voice of the silence was ringing in their ears. It was filled with flowery scent that sticks in the nostrils, warmth was shielding Yoongi the moment he stepped in. “Oh my Jimin!” A women came inside the house from a back door that takes to the back garden, but what surprised him that Jimin ignored her all the way to a certain room and knocked the doom. “Grandma, it’s me Jimin.” The younger seemed nervous, and Yoongi noticed every little strange feeling surrounded the both of them. When the door opened, Yoongi was nervous to see his boyfriend’s grandma as he stuck by his side, behind him, hiding. “Jiminie. .” The sound of the old woman echoed in the room, in her wheelchair turning to face her grandson who rushed toward her, wrapping his arms around her before he bent down to face her completely. 

“Where have you been? How are you?” She asked worriedly as if Jimin left for thousand years and came back just now. “I’m fine, I’m fine. What about you? I’m really sorry that I didn’t come to visit you but how you doing without me?” Jimin kissed the back of her hand and looked up at her again, watched her warm smile that made him smile back at her. “If that witch didn’t made anything you’d have stayed here with me . . but I’m doing good.” She answered his concerns. Witch? Who was she? What happened? Yoongi was confused, asking himself questions as he tried to remember anything about Jimin’s family but he found nothing, his man never talked about anyone but his grandma. “Oh who’s this?” The old woman smiled at Yoongi, he shyly bent down beside his boyfriend when he was pulled down gently. 

“Grandma . . this is my boyfriend, Min Yoongi.” 

“Such a beautiful young man.” She spoke softly, stretched her hands to touch the pale white skin with her fingertips. Yoongi heard it again, the word beautiful toward him, the word he couldn’t see in himself, the word he always hears from between Jimin’s puffy soft lips. The way her fingertips touched his face made him drop his eyes to the ground from embarrassment. “I’m Min Yoongi. Pleased to meet you, grandma.” He spoke politely, felt the gentle glares of his boyfriend by his side who was smiling warmly. “Feel at home, Yoongi. Pleased to meet you too.” The old woman smiled at him before she looked back at her grandson. “Your room is the same, go rest I know you’re tired from the long ride sweetheart.” She patted the tan hand, watched how the two left the room, gentle clear tears rolled down her eyes as she sighed in relief for finally seeing Jimin after a long time. 

Jimin closed the door of his room, it was small unlike the one in their apartment, a small bed pressed against the dark wall, opened curtains hanging still at the edges of the small window. Books and small car figures were on shelves pinned on the wall. The wrestler threw himself at his old bed as he inhaled deeply, watched how his boyfriend walked around the room scanning his old stuff there. Nothing grabbed his attention but the albums pressed against each other. He has seen one before, but he didn’t know his man keeps a lot of them. “You have lot of photo albums.” The elder spoke, ran his fingers through them before he sat beside Jimin on bed. “Yeah . . I like to keep memories.” He heard his man as he leaned, rested his head on his back with closed eyes. In the end that ride was tiring. Pale hand climbed to the back of the younger’s hair, caressed to feel the soft hair between his fingers until he passed out beside his boyfriend. 

The soft breathes made Jimin lift his head slowly to see Yoongi sleeping with his head on his back. “. . how cute.” He breathed as he wanted to chuckle. Softly, he rested Yoongi’s head on the pillow before he sighed and laid beside him. The room, it feels old, like forever, it has been years since he stayed in his room, since he has been there. His eyes wandered around his own room as he sighed again. There was a reason why he ran away from home, a reason that he doesn’t want to remember at all. 

The time passed way too fast. When Yoongi opened his eyes it was dark already, alone in Jimin’s room without his man beside him. As he sat, the blanket on him slid down his body. Nothing made him move from bed but the sounds downstairs, maybe it was the reason why he woke up from his sleep. Where was Jimin? It was the first question danced in his mind before he opened the door of the room. “How dare you do this to us! How dare you run away!” It was shouting, familiar voice of the woman who was the first one they watched when they arrived. Down the stairs he walked slowly until he spotted Jimin standing in the middle of the living room facing his aunt. “Stop shouting at me! I’m mature enough to know the right from wrong! You were such a bitch with me, you never left me alone or grandma. You don’t have the right- 

Jimin was cut with a hard slap on his face, turning his head to the side. “How dare you, you son of a bitch. Just be grateful I took care of you for years when your parents left you here alone!” Jimin’s aunt was panting from yelling, rested her hands on her hips before she spits on the ground. How cruel, Yoongi thought, he wanted to run to his boyfriend but the fear crept on his kept him in his place. “You took care of me? You call that caring!! You made me live in agony! You ruined my childhood!” Jimin was brave enough to yell back again even if he was slapped not long ago. Just before he heard anything more from his aunt, he turned his feet away toward the stairs just to meet the sleepy eyes. Not Yoongi, he shouldn’t have seen whatever happened. With a quick turn again, he rushed toward the main door followed by his shocked boyfriend. 

Jimin’s past, it was painful.


	28. Nothing important

“Jimin!” 

Yoongi called from behind, running behind his boyfriend who ignored him. The trees surrounded them like cages, there was no end to any of them, the sound of the leaves and broken shoots underneath their boots echoed in the woods. “Jimin!” The elder called again, and again, the more he tried to run faster the more his man ran faster in front of him. Jimin wanted to be alone, he wanted to run away one more time but this time from Yoongi. The world shut right in front of his brown eyes. “Jimin will you stop running and look at me!” The elder was panting, throat dried from working hard from not stopping his feet and grab the younger at least. Just a little more, he stretched his hand to tug on Jimin’s shirt as he pulled him back, collided with him as they rolled on the soil underneath them. 

“Fuck this! I told you to stop!” Yoongi sounded angry when he flipped them, pinned the younger on the ground before he tried to catch his breath. A loud sigh escaped from him when his boy froze in his place, eyes ignoring the sleepy ones, hands numb beside his body with steady tears rolling down his face. Jimin looked pitiful, like a broken child who’s looking for some comfort. “Baby . .” Yoongi gulped hard, hoped whatever he was going to do will help his man at least. “come here.” He almost whispered, sneaked his arms under his man as he pulled him up to his chest. “It’s okay, let it all out first.” Pale hand rested on the back of Jimin’s head, stroking gently. It was overwhelming to the younger, everything happened when he was young with his parents and aunt, everything happened when he ran away from home from the torture he was in. 

Nothing mixed with the sound of the wind and moving shoots but the low sobs in Yoongi’s chest. Against the dusted clothed of the elder Jimin tugged tightly, hid his face on the crook of the pale neck to shower the soft skin with his warm tears. “It’s okay Jimin.” Yoongi kept repeating the same words until his boy gave up on his tears and cooled down, was stubborn to let go of his man. When Jimin got up slowly, he never hooked his eyes with Yoongi’s, with a gentle grip he dragged the latter with him to a moor with a running river. Like a lost kid he sat down on the grass near the clear water with knees pressed against his chest. It was night, the moon lit their spot, reflected on the water along with the shining stars. “I don’t want to force you, but you can talk if you want now.” Once Yoongi ended his line, Jimin leaned against his chest, pushed him down on the grass with hand on his chest. 

“Thank you . . for running behind me.” The younger breathed, wandered his brown eyes up to the sky. With Yoongi he felt his chest lightening, he can speak freely, and after what Yoongi heard he should explain what was going on. “You are going to act crazy if I didn’t.” The elder smiled slightly, rest one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around his man. “I love how you know me so well.” Jimin lifted his head, planted a kiss on the former’s chin before he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry though . . about what happened in the house.” Not knowing the reason why, he was apologizing, but the way Yoongi told him it’s not his fault he closed his eyes gently for seconds as he met the eyes of the stars in the sky again. 

“When I was young . .” When he started, the elder opened his ears wide for him along with his heart. “Well . . I was a happy child with my parents until they had to leave the country for some reasons that I still don’t know till now. They were kind, but one day everything turned upside down, in the end I was left with grandma one night, I was like piece of trash tossing me in her house with aunt. Because I was young, my aunt was hell tired of taking care of me, so she used to get mad at every little move I did. I believe she was angry cause I was left there when she didn’t expect it at all. Even though grandma used to stop her, she never listened to anything at all. I was enduring everything patiently, now when I think about it, I was innocent really.” Yoongi never interrupted him as he listened quietly as his usual self, all he did was caressing the younger’s hair and rub his back gently. “. . so after all this, I had Jungkook only when I was in high school. And when he told me he’s leaving town, we planned for me to leave with him. So that night, I packed my stuff and left the house at night to go to Jungkook. Even though his parents kept asking about what happened to me, I never answered them. We transferred to the same school, and on our way back home I would see pictures and posters of a wrestler. I wanted to be strong, the more I saw these posters I wanted to try and do boxing. In the end I’m here with you now, but I came back to the hell I ran away from.” 

The words were heavy, were filled with broken tones and letters, were heartbreaking and overwhelming. When Jimin lifted his head, he couldn’t expect to see tears sparkling under the moon light, down his man’s face. “I know I promised myself to stop crying and be strong . . but . . but Jimin this is way too much. How could she torture you when you needed some love and comfort instead, from an adult. You lived such a hard life, it’s heart breaking.” Yoongi lifted his body from the grass, cupped the younger’s cheeks before he pulled him to his chest one more time, giving him the warmest hug. “I’m an adult now, right? I’ll be fine.” The younger’s voice sounded hushed against the former’s chest. After letting out all the words, he felt better, the weight in his chest was lifted up to the sky. “Right. But even if she’s bad to you show her how strong you can be without running away again.” The elder loosed his arms, wiped his own tears and looked back at the brown eyes. 

“Yeah, I don’t want to run away Yoongi.” Jimin sat straight, faced the sound of the river before he pushed a forced smile on his face. “And I still don’t know when my parents will come back, I feel like they left me and never want to get me back.” Hand grabbed his small one, soothed him, made him feel at ease, Yoongi was there for him to wash his pain away and pull him back to happiness. “I have you now, isn’t this enough for me?” It was a real chuckle escaped him the moment the elder smiled widely at him. “Yeah true, I’m here for you, with you and will tangle with you till who knows when.” Yoongi intertwined their fingers, locked their eyes as he leaned, brushed his lips against the puffy ones slowly and gently. He was pulled closer to the younger with a low whimper, opened his mouth to allow Jimin’s tongue is his mouth with low sounds surrounding them. 

“. . fireflies.” The younger pulled back from the kiss with a whisper, pulled the elder between his legs before he nuzzled on his pale neck. “What . . ?” Yoongi whispered back, couldn’t open his sleepy eyes from the feelings that crept in him, even though nothing was new but it felt fresh and new all over again. “There’s fireflies around you.” When Jimin stopped his movement, Yoongi looked around him with wide eyes. His visions were getting real and real everyday more. They were like shining stars that fell on earth, flying suavely around them as they reflected on the flooding river. “Brilliant!” The elder thought out loud, pressed himself closer to the younger’s torso with head resting on his man’s shoulder, felt arm sneak around his abdomen to hold him close. “Just like you.” Words whispered in his ears, flushed his cheeks a he felt soft kisses on his cheek. 

“We should keep some in a jar.” 

“Do you really want to keep them? But they’ll die the next morning.” 

“But they will stay the night with us right?” 

“Do you like them that much Yoongi?” Jimin chuckled softly, swayed his boyfriend gently left and right as he tried to look at the corner of his eyes, to see how they were glowing and growing bigger whenever the flying insects surround them more. 

“I have seen a vision with you here, at this same place, at this spot with your arms around me. Fireflies and river, at night, reflections. Everything Jimin. It was the day when I ran to the hospital to you because you told me to come to you, it was when you shed tears in your coma after I spoke to you.” 

“A lot happened when I wasn’t there huh? But hold on . . if your vision happened already right now. What about Jooheon? You said he’s coming more than ten times, even in your sleep.” 

“That’s what I’m fearing Jimin. If he came back, I’ll probably go insane because of him. I have seen a lot when he surrounded me with his darkness. The last time, he was in our apartment, covered with blood and he was babbling about you hurting him. About you being a bad guy . . I don’t know anymore what’s going to happen.” Yoongi sighed, felt the arms around him tightened as they were shielding him already from the strong storm that was ready to destroy every little thing. After spending one more hour looking at the glowing flying like sparkles insects, they walked back to Jimin’s grandma’s house hand in hand. His aunt seemed asleep, but his grandma was still in the living room, worried about what she heard before. “Oh god Jimin come here!” The old woman called for him once he stepped inside the house. 

“I’m sorry did I wake you up from your sleep?” The young boy asked, grabbed his grandma’s hand before he bent beside the wheeling chair. “I was just worried you won’t come back home again. .” She lifted his hand gently, kissed it and stretched her free one toward Yoongi, telling him to approach. “Grandma, I’m here for you not for her. I want to see you because I missed you so much. But I thought you’d see me on TV.” Jimin smiled warmly at her, let his boyfriend bend down beside him quietly. “I do. I watched you while you play this bad game, and I was worried when I couldn’t see you for months.” And that was when Jimin was in coma, away from people and his game on his own world. 

“Uh yeah . . I had things to do.” He lied, eyed his man for seconds before he smiled again. 

“I would like to know more about you, but it’s late you should go and sleep.” The old woman spoke to Yoongi, touched his beautiful face again as she set them free.

 

“She’s so kind.” The elder closed the door of the room as he watched his man tossing his shirt aside, crawled under the blanket with arms under his head. “She is. Unlike her daughter.” Yoongi couldn’t stop his chuckle at Jimin’s words. “I’m sorry but your aunt is really something though.” He sat the edge of the bed before he lifted the blanket slightly and buried himself under. Against the younger’s skin he was pulled, unsurprisingly, cheeks against the former’s bare warm chest with arms around him. “I’m so glad that I have you Yoongi.” The younger almost whispered, tilted his head down to plant a kiss on the bright hair of his boyfriend. “I’m glad that I have you too.” Yoongi couldn’t stop his lips from touching the tan chest to plant his kisses that sent shivers underneath the younger’s skin. 

“. . you’re warm.” Whispers in the air echoed in the younger’s ears, allowed his boyfriend to touch his bare skin and feel the warmth more. “Dammit I’m craving you.” Yoongi collided their foreheads, pushed the younger down on the sheets as he climbing on top of him, straddled him and pressed his chest against Jimin’s. “The more you crave me, the more I crave you more. Kiss me, Yoongi.” There was no hesitation, the elder tilted his head to the side, locked the puffy lips between his, kissed his man passionately, tongues touched in between the sloppy kisses with hands touching sensitive places. “I-I don’t think . . we can do this . . here.” Yoongi found himself grinding, spoke between their lips as he pulled away, moaned with a whimper the moment he felt teeth pulling his pale skin in the younger’s warm mouth. 

“Why? I want to love you, right now, right here.” Yoongi found himself pinned against the sheets when his man flipped them. Jimin willingly sucked on his sensitive areas, to make him at his edge in this house, in his old room and on his old bed. “Jimin your grandma is down.” The elder gasped, his shirt was already off by now, hands in his pants pulling them down his pale thin legs with heavy breathes from his man hitting his bare body. Every little skin of his body was kissed, every sensitive spot was sucked, Jimin made him a hickeys mess from head to two, they looked perfect sprinkled on the pale skin. “Ah shit!” Yoongi cursed under his breath, his thighs trembled once they were sucked, licked and kissed. “They are asleep. Probably.” The younger spread Yoongi’s legs, pushed in his fingers to prepare him before he pushed his length in. 

The sheets were grabbed tight, body backed in an involuntary move, low whimpers were echoing in Jimin’s ears. His pelvis moved to collide with Yoongi’s lower body, thrust after another. The elder cursed when his legs were lifted all the way up to Jimin’s shoulder, his man was hard to reach as he tightened his grip on the sheet. “I don’t care if anyone heard you . . just don’t hold anything in.” Jimin spoke between his hard gasps. The way they were giving love to each other sent them to their own world, new feelings grew inside of them like new flowers in spring. “I love you . .” The elder said breathlessly, felt the fasten of pace, moaned with head thrown to the back as he wanted to grab his man. “I love you.” Jimin allowed the pale legs slide down his shoulder, leaned closer to suppress the upcoming moans with his lips against the pink swollen ones. 

Yoongi threw his arms around the former, almost broke his bones when he arched his back under Jimin the moment he came. “Beautiful.” The wrestler whispered, brushed the bright long hair away from the sweaty forehead to plant a deep kiss. Butterflies were there in Yoongi’s stomach, heart burst out of his chest as he bit his lower lip. “. . thanks.” He whispered, tried to hide the painted pink on his cheeks but he failed. The night was cold, windy but Yoongi found the warmth of his man to hide under. Their legs tangled, arms wrapped around each other until they closed their eyes together. Yoongi wished for one thing before he let himself drown in his sleep, wished for no more illusions or visions, wished for Jooheon to stay away, miles away from him and never hurt his man. 

When Jimin woke up, he hardly stretched his hand to his vibrating phone, it was bothering him first thing in the morning. Yoongi was holding him from behind, legs on his hip, arms around the tan torso. “Man will you stop annoyin- 

“Where’s Yoongi!” Minhyuk sounded worried, at the same time was panting in the other line of the call. Jimin bit his lower lip as he opened his eyes widely and sat straight, heard low groans from his man but hell the way his friend sounded scared him. 

“H-He’s with me . . why?” 

“Listen! Keep him safe. I know you’re away from your apartment because I was trying to look for you but couldn’t find you. Jooheon is looking for him all over the place.” 

No. It can’t be. Jimin’s head went blank, his eyes wandered to his man as he watched him rubbing his eyes innocently beside him, sat and rested his head on the tan shoulder. After all whatever Yoongi told him was right, Jooheon was coming to him, slowly without them noticing anything. “W-Why would he?” Jimin couldn’t stop asking, his free hand ran though his black hair, pulled his man closer with a curse in his inner. “I don’t know just keep him away for now, I’ll have to settle things here with Jooheon, I mean I’ll try.” After this Minhyuk hung up the call, left Jimin in his place all confused. 

“Who was it?” Yoongi asked, voice sleepy and hoarse in the morning. 

“Nothing important baby.” Jimin wrapped his arms around his man, kissed his head before he took a deep breath to start thinking about what Jooheon was planning next.


	29. Monster

He was innocent, happy, at the same time he was full of beautifulness. The way he was taking ghostly steps toward the tiny fireflies that were sitting on trees trunk and capture them with a jar he had in his hand, pull it back and close the jar right away just in case they don’t fly out. Yoongi spun in his place with open arms, closed eyes and a huge smile on his pale beautiful face. Jimin was there, staring at him with sparkling eyes, heart pounding in his chest from the gorgeousness his eyes were capturing. “This feels like a dream.” The elder approached his man, handed him the jar before he leaned to peck the puffy lips. “Thank you for bringing me here.” He intertwined their fingers, pulled the younger with him in the middle of the fireflies to collect a few more in his jar. 

It was placed on the nightstand beside Jimin’s bed, fireflies were flying freely and beautifully inside. Yoongi threw himself on his stomach on the bed, arms crossed under his chin as he stared with glossy eyes at the glowing creatures. The sound of his nail hitting the glass of the jar echoed in the whole room, he was in fairytale world where beautiful creatures only appear. Jimin himself was a fairytale. “Are you okay with it if we stayed here a bit longer, like for one more week or something like this?” He heard Jimin’s voice near his ear when he laid on bed beside him, threw an arm on him with a slight kiss on his shoulder. “Sure why not. You have been away from your grandma so I’m sure she wants you to stay longer here with her.” Yoongi felt more excited, that meant he would see more fireflies every night with different lights, green, orange and yellow. 

Jooheon was the only reason for them to stay there, Jimin never wanted to go back to more trouble with him not when Yoongi is involved with the whole thing. “Thanks baby.” The younger smiled slightly, admired the sleepy eyes reflecting the tiny fireflies before he got distracted with a kiss on his cheek. “Dozing off. What are you thinking about?” The pale guy poked Jimin’s nose as he chuckled softly. “Just how beautiful you are.” Jimin answered right away, didn’t know if he should consider it a lie or not but he couldn’t mention Jooheon at all. Just before he feels the soft pale fingers on his face, his phone vibrated near him as he jerked, left the room right away all the way outside the house. “What happened?” Jimin couldn’t stop his concern when Minhyuk’s number popped on his screen. 

“Jimin he’s so hard to handle. Jungkook wanted to help but I pushed him away from this. Joohoen is getting mad more whenever he can’t find Yoongi anywhere near. Damn he beat the shit out of me when I tried to stop him, and I don’t know anymore this dude is crazy seriously. I’m starting to feel scared to be around him all alone!” Minhyuk ended his lines with a loud sigh, sounded exhausted from the beast out there, facing him all alone. Jimin ran his fingers through his hair as he was boiling, walking in circles with a total oblivion. They made a deal, why would Jooheon jump in their life one more time to steal Yoongi even though the elder among them all doesn’t want any more shit with him. “Listen, if I can go there and help I would. I didn’t tell Yoongi anything till now so I’ll think of something. Don’t let him hurt you hyung please. I hope we meet as soon as possible.” Jimin cursed in a loud tone as he kicked the ground. 

Yoongi was staring down at his man from the opened curtain of the window, wondering and thinking about who was Jimin talking to on the phone. The way the wrestler was walking back and forth made him worry. He wanted to run downstairs and ask lot of question, but in the end his quietness took all over him. On the bed he sat, lifted his knees to his chest with head tilted down, eyes staring at the glowing insects once again with a slight pout on his pink lips. Why can’t he spit out whatever comes to his tongue? He asked himself before he heard the door opened and closed just to see Jimin walking toward him with a forced smile. “Sorry about that . .” The younger rubbed his nape, bit his lower lip and laid on his back beside his man. Nothing was said after that, the room was dead until Jimin broke it as usual. “They are communicating you know?” Yoongi looked confused until he watched the former’s finger pointing at the jar beside them. 

“How do you know?” The pale guy asked. 

“Well that’s what I know about fireflies. They glow the lights to communicate with each other, or males seducing females.” Jimin stretched the elder’s thin legs, rested his head on his lap as he stared back at the fireflies too. “Beautiful creatures.” He breathed. His hair was caressed, his upper arm was rubbed but he was feeling strange, the way Yoongi was touching him meant a lot of things. When he lifted his eyes to look up at his man, he didn’t expect to see sad sleepy eyes staring down at him. “Are you alright?” Jimin lifted himself slowly, left few inches between their faces as he looked down at Yoongi. “Yeah I’m fine.” The elder replied right away even though it was a lie. When they laid down, Jimin was on his side when Yoongi wanted to grab him, to touch him and rest his head on the former’s back. The moment he stretched his hand, Jimin got up hastily from bed and grabbed his phone when it rang for the second time. 

Yoongi sighed as he bit his lower lip. Something was going on and he was wondering what it was. For almost an hour Jimin took before he came back to his room again, grabbed his man from behind tight with a low sigh. “. . you’re going to be fine.” He whispered, but the words were confusing Yoongi even more than he already was. 

The next morning Yoongi sat nervously around the table across Jimin’s aunt and his grandma beside her. With silence he was eating, hearing the sweet conversation between his man and the old woman. “So you didn’t tell me where you two met.” She asked as she glanced softly at the pale guy. 

“Here and there.” The younger didn’t want to say much details in front of his aunt. Yoongi for some reason was grateful, he wondered what the two women will say if they told them they met in a balcony. Jimin’s phones was on the table, between Yoongi’s plate and his, and when it rang the sleepy eyes captured Minhyuk’s name yet his man acted like the previous night, got up from the table and took the phone outside. No more appetite, the elder felt full all of a sudden, hand placed the chopsticks down on the table with head tilting down. Without Jimin beside him he didn’t know how to face his relatives all alone. The plates were taken to the sink before he left the house looking for the wrestler. Just like last night’s state, Jimin was cursing and ruffling his hair. “No! Listen you can’t do reckless things do you hear me. Just stay away for now!” His ears captured the angry tone of Jimin when he approached him slowly. 

“Oh fuck dammit. I’ll call you later.” The younger hung up the call right away when he sensed Yoongi’s presence. The phone was shoved in his pocket before he faced the pale guy. “Is everything okay?” When he asked, his bottom lip was bit. “Y-yeah yeah everything is fine.” Jimin felt nervous all of a sudden, how is he going to tell Yoongi about all the thing Jooheon is doing out there to find him? He wondered. 

“Doesn’t seem like it.” 

“Baby don’t worry, ok? Nothing is wrong.” Jimin pulled his man closer as he collided his lips with the pale forehead. His word wasn’t easy, wasn’t soothing and wasn’t comfortable. Yoongi felt every little vibration in the soft voice, felt the worries echoing in his ears without hesitation, but he stayed quiet. What would he say more when Jimin was insisting to hide the whole thing from him?. They walked hand in hand into the woods, distracting Yoongi from his thoughts was the only thing in Jimin’s head. “Jimin can’t we go back tomorrow? I want to train.” The elder spoke, facing the front the whole time to ignore the brown eyes. “You stop me but you want to train? Look at you Yoongi.” He bit his lower lip with every word he heard from the wrestler. Saying no to Yoongi won’t harm their relationship at all. “Didn’t we agree to stay here for a week? I can help you train here.” Jimin gulped before he stopped his feet from walking. 

He turned the elder to face him, lifted his hands open in front of him before he smiled slightly at him. “Imagine my palms were the bags you punch. Go on for it.” His eyes watched how his man was hesitant about hurting him, but the next word he let out encouraged him to face the younger properly. “It’s fine, you can stop once your knuckles touch my palms.” The elder took his stance when Jimin smiled brightly at him, nodded his head for his man to throw his first punch. Yoongi clenched his fists, moved one leg to the back slightly before he focused on the palms in front of him. One, two, three, he was counting in his head before he approached and throw a punch toward the younger’s palm. “Wow! How great you became!” Jimin for some reason was proud, he taught his man few newer tricks, new way of punched and they were all in the open air, punching the invisible bags. 

“Awesome! I believe you’ll become a great boxer.” The younger spoke panting, wiped the running sweat from his forehead with his forearm as he snuggled his man slightly. “Do you think I’m strong enough to beat Jooheon?” The question dropped his smile to the ground. No, not Jooheon, Yoongi need to be stronger to beat Jooheon with his own fists. “Not yet Yoongi.” The moment his eyes met the sleepy ones, Yoongi furrowed his brows. “When!” The elder snapped all of a sudden, startled the wrestler who parted his lips from the surprise. “When am I going to face him myself! When am I going to be strong! When Jimin when!!” His voice echoed between the trees, between the earth and the sky, between the space that was narrowing between him and Jimin. “I’m tired from running away! I’m tired from staying away as if I’m the weakest person on earth. I don’t need anymore protection, Jimin. Nothing, I don’t want anything anymore!” Heavy breathes were escaping him when he shut himself up after the loud shouts. 

Jimin stayed quiet, all he did was stretching his arms toward the elder and pull him in a warm hug. “Let it all out.” He almost whispered in his ears, ran circles on the former’s back before he planted a soft kiss on the pale temple. “Jimin I’m so tired.” The elder’s voice was hushed against he former’s shoulder, pale fingers tugged on the back of the younger’s fabrics. “I know, Yoongi. I’m tired of all this shit too. We have to endure and believe in destiny, believe in whatever is happening to us until it gets better by our own strength. Good and bad come and goes, we have to wish for the better.” After all this Yoongi couldn’t say a word, his arms loosed around his man as he dragged himself back to the grandma’s house, made his way to Jimin’s room before he threw himself on bed, grabbed the jar of the fireflies, knocked on them slightly with his nails. 

“It’s not bad here or anything, but I really feel like going back home.” Yoongi pouted slightly when his man closed the door of his room.

“Yoongi, we can’t go back home now.” 

“Why?”

“Because we need some time away together.” 

“But Jimin I don’t feel like staying here I’m sorry.” 

“Can you endure it a little longer? Just a little.” 

“I can, but still-

“Yoongi that’s enough! I said we’re staying here and that’s it!” Jimin cursed, regretted the way he yelled at his man from the look on the sleepy eyes. As if Yoongi was a prisoner in his hand, he didn’t like it for some reason. But after all this he wanted to protect Yoongi, he wanted to keep him safe from suffering, from dealing with Jooheon all over again. “. . I-‘m sorry, I just. . don’t know. Yoongi I think we need some more time here.” The soft voice was getting lower. Yoongi for some reason felt scared, Jimin was changing slowly and that dropped his heart to the ground. What if he became like Jooheon? But Jimin promised him he was different than anyone else on earth. What if he became hard to deal with? What if Jimin started to get tired from him? The questions were tangling one after another into each other, thoughts never wanted to stop. 

Their back faced each other on bed, Yoongi stayed quiet the whole time until his heavy eyes dictated on his whole body to sleep. Another visions, another illusions, another nightmares, Yoongi thought he was living on this earth to see all of this, to see what’s going to happen next, to see what was wrong with himself and the people around him. The first thing his eyes captured that night was two guys, in the middle of nowhere grabbed each other by the neck. “Fucking dare to get near him again and I’ll chop you in tiny pieces!” The faces were covered with black shadows, but Yoongi recognized them by their voices. It was Jimin, warning Jooheon with flames surrounded him like a halo. “Rot in hell you piece of shit! You shouldn’t live in this world to destroy him! Leave him the fuck alone!” His boyfriend was the only one yelling in the dark place, his nails were sharp claws, digging on Jooheon’s neck until it bled badly.

“You don’t deserve him! You’re bad just like me! We should both rot in hell Park Jimin!” It was Jooheon’s turn to scratch the former’s chest, gaining groans from him. “We both lost. We both should leave him alone don’t you think? We are the same!” The more he talked the more Yoongi covered his ears, pressing on them just to avoid the both fighting for him. “We are not fucking the same! He deserves to live in piece, but you! You are insisting to send him to hell, to show him the real darkness and make him under your dirty nails.” Jimin shouted back. Their claws never stopped to scratch each other, and Yoongi was the only one shouting for them to stop, yelling for the both of them to leave him the fuck alone and never approach him again. But his words did nothing more than the both turning toward him with their dark faces, approaching him with feet stumbling heavily on the ground, stretching their bloody clams toward him to grab him both. “I’m getting you soon!” Jooheon’s words were the last before Yoongi screamed. 

“No!!” His voice hit every corner in the room, back lifted from the sheets hastily with beads of sweat dropping down his face. “No no no no no . . no . . no. .” He was repeating, fist gripping into his own shirt, eyes wandered left and right to see his surrender. “Yoongi what’s wrong?” Jimin rubbed his eyes before he wanted to touch his man, hands were pushed away as he was surprised of the man beside him. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Jimin’s face was the same in Yoongi’s eyes, darkness, bloody claws and neck, disgusting voice. From the bed he jumped, walked backward until his lower back hit Jimin’s desk. “Hey Yoongi relax, tell me what did you see this time!” The younger tried to approach but the elder was throwing whatever his hands touched at the younger. Books, albums, pencil case and files. 

“No don’t get near me! You’re such a monster!” Ouch, the words hit Jimin really hard as he froze in his place, allowed whatever was thrown at him to bruise his torso with eyes never leaving the pale panting guy.


	30. Are we good?

The more Jimin approached, the more Yoongi’s vision was getting clearer. The darkness on the wrestler’s face was vanishing slowly. When the thin shoulders were grabbed, he couldn’t feel anything anymore as he collapsed in the strong arms of his boyfriend. “Shit. .” The younger muttered, it was getting worse. Yoongi’s condition of visions and illusion were getting worse every day more, it worried Jimin like hell, even though his heart was scratched but he knew his man didn’t mean anything. Maybe because his heart was a little soft. His arms lifting the pale guy from the ground all the way to the bed, placed him down gently before he sighed and brushed the vain bangs away from the former’s pale forehead. “Maybe hiding everything from you is useless after all. You see things impossible for the eyes to see.” Jimin sat at the edge of the bed, elbows on his thighs with hands covering his face. 

He was there, sitting like a loner in the night staring at his boyfriend with broken eyes. Fingers caressing the bright hair of his man, watched him shift to his right, on his back and on his left side. Covered him well when the blanket slid down Yoongi’s thin body. When the sun breakthrough the narrow space between the curtains, the pale man opened his eyes for the day suavely. He was kind of dizzy still, massaged his temples before he wandered his eyes to Jimin who was still in his place, staring down at the elder with cold eyes. Slowly he sat, bit his lower lip when he noticed the mess he did last night, recalled what happened as he cursed under his breath. He seemed lost in a huge desert all alone, and when Jimin asked him if he remembers what happened the silence took all over him. “So you don’t remember calling me a monster?” Jimin never took his eyes off of the pale guy when he turned to face him. 

“Jimin . . about last night . . I’m sorry.” Yoongi crawled closer, leaned closer, but the way his man backed slightly dropped his heart to the ground. On the space between them Jimin’s phone never stopped ringing, it was ignored completely. The younger never rushed to pick up the call from Minhyuk at all but kept staring at the elder’s sleepy eyes. “. . something is going on and I don’t know what it is.” When Yoongi spoke again, his eyes dropped down to the vibrating phone with beating heart from worries. “Aren’t you going to answer this?” The moment he finished his question, Jimin grabbed the phone and tossed to the middle of the room. His face never changed, cold, expressionless and broken. “I wonder how you see me Yoongi,” When he spoke, the elder tensed in his place. “Maybe you’re faking all these feelings with me and stick around me just because you fear only one person.” The words were harsh to Yoongi’s heart to handle, they were scratching him even more than he already was.

“Jimin what are you talking about?” 

“What I’m talking about is clear Yoongi. How many times have you pushed me away like last night, it was as if you were letting out your real inner feelings, as if you were hiding them for a long time and waited for the right time to come to spit it out.” Jimin uttered without skipping a beat, watched how the former’s eyebrows furrowed before he got up from bed, left the room running outside the whole house. “Where are you going?” He asked Yoongi with hand grabbed his thin upper arm. “I’m going back! I don’t want to stay with you here if that what you think of me!” The elder exploded all of a sudden, tossed the former’s hand before he moved his legs again. “Stop it!” he struggled once he was grabbed again. 

“You can’t go back now!” The younger yelled, ruffled his hair the next second as he cursed. “Why the fuck do you want me to stay here?” Yoongi yelled back, tied his tongue when he was yelled at back, words shocking his pure heart as it stopped beating. “Because Jooheon is fucking looking for you!” Jimin bit his lower lip, kicked the ground from anger. 

“W-What . .?” The doors of the world slammed shut around Yoongi, the mention of Jooheon sent shivers underneath his skin. 

“Jooheon is looking for you all over the place, Yoongi.” Jimin was cooling down slowly, tried not to scare his man as he spoke in a normal tone. “I wanted you to stay here for one more week until he stops searching for you. I don’t think he wants you as his boy again now.” 

“What do you mean by this? What does he want then?” 

“I don’t know . . I’m not sure what does he want this time, and I guess he want to beat the shit out of me too.” The younger shoved his lower lip between his teeth, rested his hands on his hips with eyes staring down at the pale skin of Yoongi. Quietly they walked back inside the house, had their breakfast with Jimin’s grandma and headed back up to the room to change for new clothes for the day. “I’m sorry again for this mess.” The elder bent down on the floor, tried to grab the books from the floor and put them back on the desk with a help from the wrestler. “Oh who is she?” He asked once he found a picture of a girl with Jimin, kissing his cheek with a smile on his face. Jimin looked younger, and from his uniform Yoongi knew the picture was old, when the younger was still in high school. Even though it was old, but it touched the depth of Yoongi’s heart. When he thought about it, he never took a photo with his man, not even a single one. 

“Oh.” It was Jimin’s only answer before he took the picture back from Yoongi’s hands. “Is she the ex you mentioned before?” At that moment, he gulped hard from the question as he nodded. She was the only girlfriend he had when he was in his first year of high school, his first love that he left behind when he ran away with Jungkook. “She is. She’s nothing now though. I didn’t know these pictures are still here.” Without hesitation he stood, grabbed all the photos that had her face and to the trash right away without putting any thought in it. Yoongi organized the books and albums back neatly on the desk, cursed in his inner when his man tossed his shirt aside to sink in another clean shirt, his torso was covered with bruises and he knew he was the cause of all of this, he was the one who hurt his man when he didn’t want to. In the end he blamed his visions and nightmares for whatever happened the previous night. 

Jooheon crossed Yoongi’s mind for a second, the thoughts made him doze off before he was pulled back to reality with Jimin’s figure blocking the whole room. “I’m still mad at you, you know?” The younger’s steps were pushing Yoongi back against the desk, his palms resting on the well built chest as he wanted to push his man a little back. “Jimin I wasn’t in my right mind last night. I was haunted by my own nightmare still and I just didn’t know what I said, because I saw you wrenching Jooheon a-and I-I . .” The pale guy gulped hard, couldn’t let out any more words when their bodies touched, warmth surrounded the both as they locked their eyes together. “You what, hm?” Shivers underneath his skin ran like a flooding river, the way Jimin lowered his voice in a seductive way burst his heart out of his chest. “I-I . . was scared. Because y-you looked different.” He stuttered, clenched on the former’s shirt with hitched breath. 

“Come on.” Jimin pulled back, intertwined their fingers as they headed out one more time. “So tell me how I looked like.” He was curious for some reason, at the same time he wanted things back to normal between them without any fights. “Your face was shaded, and you were scratching Jooheon very deeply. You two were bleeding way too much . . it’s just way too creepy though.” Yoongi didn’t hesitate to talk about what he saw, honesty was what he wanted between the two of them. “Oh I know why you saw all of this. Because once I’ll see his face I would kill him with my own hands. I don’t want him to get near you, I don’t want him to touch a single hair in you.” The younger felt the hand in his tightened when he spoke, from the way Yoongi looked at him he knew he should protect him more than usual. 

“Jimin . . I want to face him myself this time, please.” The elder almost whispered, his feet stopped when he realized whatever was around them. A huge swing was hanging on a very tall tree, moved slowly when the wind blew against it. “But I have to be by your side.” Insistence was in Jimin’s voice. They sat gently on the wooden swing beside each other. Their thighs touched, upper arms collided, and feet moving together to push it. “Is there really places like this in Korea . . I didn’t know.” Yoongi spoke along with the wind, allowed his hair to dance to the back and front. “I’ll show you everything you never saw. Are we good now?” Jimin smiled brightly when the former nodded his head, threw one arm on his shoulder as he pulled him closer to his chest. He like how they get rid of their fights easily, liked how they understand each other pretty well and solve their twisted feelings fast. 

“I love you.” He whispered to the elder, kissed his temple before he snuggled him as tight as he could. “I love you too . . and Jimin we’re going to fall.” The pale guy chuckled slightly, pressed his lips on the former’s cheek while he pulled back. Their laughs were echoing in the woods when Jimin jumped from the swing and pushed his man up high in the air instead. “Don’t push too high I’m going to fall.” Yoongi was smiling brightly, and Jimin thanked god for bringing him here. The way he was smiling pounded the younger’s heart rapidly in his chest, made him want to keep his man for the rest of his life, to grow old with him and remember the beautiful memories together. 

Yoongi closed his eyes, tightened his hands on the thick roped of the swing as he let the wind hit his face, all the worries were dropping down his body to the ground under them. When he finally leaped down, his feet rushing toward the younger as he jumped on him, wrapped his lips around the strong body of his man and crashed their lips in sloppy kisses. “You’re the best thing ever happened to me you know?” The elder whispered between their kiss, his fingers tangled with Jimin’s dark hair when their tongues fought to take the lead. “and I don’t want to fight with you again.” Their foreheads touched, chuckles mixed together in sweet melody. “I’m sorry again.” Yoongi smiled when he was placed down back on the ground, his forehead was kissed gently as he watched the former smile at his warmly. 

Just before Jimin can say anything, he had to answer his ringing phone that never wanted to stop at all. “Is it Minhyuk again?” The elder was responded with a shaking head. “It’s Jungkook this time, hyung used to tell me updates about Jooheon though.” Jimin lifted the phone to his ears with heartbeats increasing in his chest. The way Jungkook sounded wasn’t normal, the way he was panting on the other lie made Jimin panic in his spot. “K-Kook what’s wrong?” It was the first question between the two friends. “Hyung . . h-hyung I don’t know h-how . . hyung where are you?” The youngest voice was sobbing in Jimin’s ears, at the same time Yoongi was confused from the former’s tone. “Hey relax tell me what’s wrong!” The wrestler ruffled his hair with teeth biting his lower lip. 

“It’s Minhyuk hyung. You should come right now; I don’t know what to do!” Jungkook couldn’t stop his loud sobs which they panicked Jimin more. The wrestler involuntary grabbed Yoongi’s hand as he rushed back toward the house. “Listen I might take a while but I’ll be there alright? Calm down for now and tell me where are you?” His free palm pushed Yoongi down on the couch gently as he rushed again toward his car hastily. “My house.” It was the last words he heard from Jungkook before he hung up the call. Just before he started the engine, the door of the passenger seat opened and closed. “What are you doing? Go back inside.” Jimin demanded the elder who slipped in the car right away. “I’m going with you. I should go see Jungkook too.” Yoongi never moved from his seat when the former told him to get off the car, he was insisted to go and Jimin didn’t want to waste his time fighting with Yoongi again. 

They drove all the way back to the city, with intense air above their heads. Jungkook called again and again, kept asking where were Jimin until they reached his house. “Dammit I’m so worried!” The wrestler uttered before he jumped out of his car, slowed his feet the moment he noticed blood drops in the entrance of the youngest house. Yoongi couldn’t help it, his pale hand covered his mouth and nose with his free fingers tugging on Jimin’s shirt. When they opened the door, Jungkook was there, on the ground holding Minhyuk tight to his chest, the two were under a pool of blood, and it was still dripping down Minhyuk’s body to the ground. “H-Hyung . .” Jimin approached slowly, eyes couldn’t blink at all when he found himself kneeling down beside his friends, hand lifted all the way to Minhyuk’s hair as he brushed it to the back. “H-Hyung how . . how did this happen. . h-how?” The wrestler couldn’t stop his body from trembling. 

Minhyuk was in a bad state, more than too late for him to survive in this harsh life any longer. He was still breathing weakly when his face was cupped between Jimin’s hands. “Hyung talk to us, please.” And when he heard Jimin’s voice, his hand lifted slowly from the ground to point at one thing, Yoongi, but his voice was dead, his lips parted but nothing came out. The elder among them all never took his hand down from his lips, his eyes reflected the way Minhyuk’s hand fell down paralyzed on the ground, reflected the way he tried to breathe the last air his lungs allowed, reflected the way the two precious friends were breaking down right in front of him with loud sobs. 

The way Minhyuk died, it was horrible to the three of them.


	31. Don't talk and hold me

         They were under a dim light, quietness surrounded them in Jooheon’s room. Minhyuk gave up his feelings toward the beast, long time ago as he struggled to push them outside his body, he was there for one reason, to stop Jooheon’s next actions and ruin Yoongi. Even though he hated the pale guy, after taking a like to him he wanted to keep him safe just like his two friends. “Hey . . Aren’t you tired from chasing Yoongi and never ever once won to get him back?” Minhyuk wondered out loud, never took his emerald dark brown eyes from the former who was pulling out a leather jacket from his closet. “Once you love Yoongi, you can’t throw him away easily. Look at your pathetic friend, he would die to keep him by his side, he protects him no matter what I try to do but I won’t give up now. . I’m aware Yoongi will never want me back as his boyfriend and never want me in his life too but just like how he made me suffer, I’ll make him too.” Jooheon spoke in one serious tone, smirked the moment his eyes met Minhyuk’s reflection in the mirror. 

“You’re such a crazy bastard.” Minhyuk was serious enough for the former to clench his teeth. “I mean look at you, who would want to be with someone like you again when you don’t protect the one you love pretty well? What inside of you is not a soul but shadows only. You should see the light a bit Jooheon.” He got up from the former’s bed as he followed him outside his room just to be surprised by hand strangling his neck, pushed him back against the wall beside the door. “How dare you tell me all of this? I know what I’m doing! Yes I’m crazy and if this bothers you stop sticking on my ass!” Jooheon spat the words at the former who whimpered in a low tone, shut his eyes tight to endure the suffocating hand around his neck. 

“I’m not leaving you the fuck alone! You filthy piece of trash! I’m on Yoongi’s side this time and I won’t let you lay a hand on him as long as I’m alive!” Minhyuk had no choice but to kick the latter to free himself and turn away toward the main door of the house first. “As long as you’re alive huh?” The voice behind him froze his legs as he felt arm wrapped around his neck from behind. Jooheon was fast enough to grab him one more time just like how he took his tough actions toward Yoongi. “I should have believed them from the very beginning.” The older muttered under his breathe, low enough for the former to not hear at all. “Who said you’ll be alive after you step out of my house, hm? Your end is between my hands Lee Minhyuk.” His voice in Minhyuk’s ears sent shivers underneath his skin.

“Yes I’m filled with darkness! I’m a badass you son of a bitch. After how I treated you nicely and accepted you around me you spit those words at me!” Jooheon was boiling, strangled the older with clenched teeth and dark flames. Nothing froze Minhyuk in his place but the sound of the former pulling a gun toward his head. “Y-You . . you call that nice?” He gathered the words together and spit it out with eyes shut tight from the sudden fear that filled him. “P-Put that down.” Minhyuk had no other choice but to punch the former with his elbow and rush toward the doorknob. Kick on his back pushed him down on the rough ground, this was hell for sure, he couldn’t escape at all when he was beaten up without any mercy, and when he tried to get up to leave completely a bullet broke through his flesh as he chocked in his breathe. 

Jooheon was hell out of his mind the moment he shot Minhyuk, but that doesn’t mean he regretted it. With his small cold eyes, he watched the former hardly walking away from him with hand covering his running blood. To Minhyuk, the day was night, and even if it was night, the sky will look darker than the usual blackness, the stars will be dead without a single shine in the sky. The day won’t end without seeing Jungkook or Jimin, his soul won’t leave his body if he wasn’t with them at that moment. Since he knew Jimin was away hiding Yoongi, he had nowhere to go and drive back to except Jungkook’s house, and when he arrived, he shocked his poor friend who never stopped whimpering the moment he collapsed in Jungkook’s arms. After few minutes the younger called Jimin and tried to talk to his friend who never spoke a single word. 

The way his soul left his body sent Jungkook and Jimin to the depth of earth, their hearts dropped to the ground as they yelled their hearts out, out of sadness and the agony they felt in their heavy chests. The idea of their best friend leaving their lives was a horrible nightmare, all these years, all the memories, all the hard times and happy times, it’ll all be missing their only friend. All their pictures together will be dusted, a huge piece in them will be dead from losing their lovely hyung. 

“Hyung!! I won’t forgive who did this to you. Just watch me, hyung. I won’t forgive anyone!” Jungkook spoke to the lifeless soul, along with Jimin’s loud cries. To them, Minhyuk was just sleeping from tiredness in their arms. To them, Minhyuk was still there holding them back. But they were only thoughts in their heads. Jimin didn’t know if he should pull Jungkook in his chest too with Minhyuk, in the end he wrapped his arms around the both with their hyung between them. The sight in the entrance of Jungkook’s house did nothing but sorrow in Yoongi’s chest. The scene was way too sad for his pure heart to handle. If Minhyuk pointed at him, that means all of this had to do with the only monster he knew, Jooheon. 

Yoongi was boiling, was pissed off to the point that he’ll destroy everything in front of him. No matter how Minhyuk was treating him badly but he was sad! He was sad enough for his teeth to clench to kill Jooheon with his own hands now instead. Once he left the house and the three behind, he bent down on the ground with hand on his stomach as he threw up from the strong smell of the blood in the house. With his sleeve he wiped his pink lips as he let his legs run in a fast speed. Just like how Jooheon was looking for him, it was his turn to look for him. Actually Yoongi had enough from all this shit. Directly, to Jooheon’s house he ran his heart out, ignored anyone who tried to slow him in the streets, didn’t give a damn about the hell he did while running. 

Once he spotted Jooheon’s house from afar, his chest heaved even more. The more he approached faster, the more his heart was clenching tighter. Without any knocks, he opened the main door and got inside, eyes searching for the familiar face. Jooheon was still there, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, staring blankly at nothing, the black gun was still embraced by his hand. The moment he lifted his head from the former’s presence, he wasn’t able to speak when Yoongi pushed him down on the floor as he hovered over him, clenching on his collar. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS YOU CRUEL!” Yoongi yelled his lungs, clenched fists never stopped punching the boy he once loved, the boy he wished for to be dead, the boy who shattered him into small pieces. “Just die! You should be the one dead not Minhyuk!” His heavy breathes were the only sound in the whole dead house. 

“Oh so he died after he ran away from me huh?” Jooheon spoke as if nothing was wrong, but his eyes were speaking too, it was the first time for Yoongi’s eyes to capture a sinful tears falling from the corners of Jooheon’s eyes. “Fuck you!!” The older among the too spat, endured the pain in his knuckles from punching the former. It felt right after all, the way his fist collided with Jooheon’s face, it should have been there from the very beginning. “Why the fuck do you take everything lightly! Why do you hurt and kill the innocent? You’re such a horrible freak! An asshole, psycho bastard!” After he ended his line, Jooheon flipped him on his back as he hovered over him instead. The gun in his hand was tossed on the carpet, strong hand grabbed the back of Yoongi’s hair. “You’re going to be dead just like him! Wait for this Min Yoongi!” The younger clenched his teeth, pulled the former’s head to the back as he threw punches at him back. 

“Do you for how long I have been looking for you? And you show your ass here yourself to me!” He felt Yoongi pushing him away, along with him groans from pain but he gripped him tighter. “Are you happy with that kid this much? Is he happy for making you busy and filling your head with his bullshit, hm? How does it feel like when he knew about your fears? I believe he thought you are a crazy bitch after I told him myself.” It was a shock, a sudden shock spread in Yoongi the moment he heard the spat words. Jimin knew everything from Jooheon after all. 

“Jooheon you’re gaining nothing but more pity from me. You’re gaining nothing but more loneliness.” 

“This is all because of you! I might have given up on you but I won’t forgive you for everything you made me through.”

“I should have said that instead don’t you think? You’re the one who ruined everything between me and you! You’re the one who started to hurt me first! Treating me as you fucking toy, hitting me whenever you want and love me right after. This is ridiculous! And now I won’t forgive what you did to Minhyuk!” With his last words, he pushed Jooheon off of him and kicked the gun away. Rushed back toward the door with hand on his chest. “Such a monster . .” Yoongi uttered, wiped the blood from the corner of his lips with the back of his hand and moved on, to somewhere he didn’t know. He couldn’t go back to Jungkook’s place to see the misery there. He skipped the funeral, because he knew if Jimin saw his status he will feel more down. 

After three days Yoongi made his way back to Jimin’s apartment, pressed on the buttons of the doorknob as he unlocked the door. His bruises never faded, the cuts on his face was steady and it’ll be for more than two weeks. When the door was closed behind him, he heard someone running toward him, and it was no one but Jimin. “H-Hyung!” It was rare, and weird at the same time heavy, the way Jimin called Yoongi was serious, the way he wanted to approach was crystal clear in the elder’s eyes. “Where were you . .? Why you didn’t come to the funeral? Why!” The younger snapped all of a sudden, never took his cold sad eyes from Yoongi’s face. “Jimin I’m so sorry. I couldn’t come when I’m in this state, a-and-

“W-What happened to you . .?” Jimin whimpered, his feet were confused whether he approaches his man or bend down on his knees. “I thought . . I thought you’d stay by my side when I needed you the most! I thought you’d hold me and tell me that hyung is still alive! I though you’d be there for me . . but you wan’t. Jungkook needed you too . . do you know?” The words dropped Yongi’s heart to the ground, Jimin was right, he should have stayed and returned the same day he went to Jooheon. But the whole situation confused him like hell. “Jimin-

“Don’t talk and just hold me.” The younger cut his man, his head bent down with his eyes being shut tight. The former didn’t hesitate, he closed the distance between them and threw his arms around Jimin, pulling him close to his body as he snuggled him tight, heard low sobs hushed against his shoulder, felt fists clenching on the back of his shirt. “Minhyuk will stay around no matter how far he’s from us, Jimin. He would never leave you and Jungkook alone right? He might be around us now, hearing you crying for him, but he won’t like it right?” The younger pulled his head back, gulped before he wiped his tears with his palms hastily. “. . you’re right.” Jimin bit his lower lip, still avoiding the sleepy eyes. In the end he laid on the couch, head resting on Yoongi’s lap with hand never left the pale one. 

“Stay. . ok?”

“Ok . . I won’t go anywhere.” Yoogni replied softly, watched how his man drifted to sleep from the tiredness he felt for the past few days. 

The next day Jimin left the house early with Yoongi, all the way back to Jungkook’s house again. “Hyung what are you doing!!” Jungkook watched the way Jimin moved hastily in his room, grabbing his stuff in a suitcase before he grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs. “You’re not staying here alone. You’re move with us!” The older’s hand was pushed away but there was no time for him to fight with Jungkook.


	32. Everything but not you

Jungkook crossed his arms once Jimin dropped his suitcase down on the ground of his apartment. It was cold as if the warmth of it vanished completely. Yoongi bit his lower lip, standing there with silences glancing at the two friends exchanging death glares. “Hey I brought you here for a reason ok!” Jimin snapped all of sudden, broke the silence as he watched the other two tense in their places. “Yeah and what kind of stupid reason is it?” Jungkook shot back, he passed the two and threw himself on the couch with a loud sigh. “Jungkook we don’t know what’s going to happen after we lost Hyung! I don’t want you to live alone in that house and get attacked by who the hell knows and end up dead too!” Jimin was harsh, he was raging in his place as he wanted to smack his friend right on the head and pull him to reality, but hand on his chest cooled his anger down. 

Yoongi lifted his eyes to meet Jimin’s as he shook his head slightly, telling him the way he was talking to Jungkook will not help at all. Even though Jimin’s words were making a little sense but the youngest among the three was stubborn. “Kook . .” Yoongi let his voice out, hand patting Jimin’s chest before he forced the corner of his bruised lip to curve slightly. “We can share my room.” He continued as he watched the younger get up on his feet, grabbed his suitcase from the floor as he walked toward the elder’s room. “Yeah thanks! Better than sharing a room with HIM!” The door slammed shut as the older two sighed. “Fuck this!” Jimin took a deep breath as he dropped his eyes to his man’s bruised face. “Maybe I was pressing on him . . well I’m worried- 

“I know.” Yoongi cut him in a low soft voice, lifted his hand all the way up to the younger’s cheek with thumb caressing his cheek. “We are all worried Jimin. Just like you I don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s just the fifth day since Minhyuk’s funeral and you two are still out of your minds, I’ll count me as well. I might be next, we don’t know.” After his words, he was pulled in Jimin’s warm embrace, the arms he belongs for, the warmth of Jimin’s body against his, it was what he wanted and that’s it. “Don’t say this please. .” The younger whispered in Yoongi’s ears as he held back his tears. He lost Minhyuk, his best friend, his favorite hyung, but he won’t lose Yoongi too, he won’t lose the love of his life, he won’t lose the most precious boy he can’t live a single day without. “I don’t want to lose you, Yoongi. Not you. Everything but not you.” Yoongi pulled himself back slightly as he lifted his eyes to meet the emerald brown eyes again. 

“Hey listen,” He cupped Jimin’s face, leaned until their foreheads collided. “No matter what happens just know that I love you.” Yoongi repeated the same exact words he once heard from Jimin, but this time it was meant from him. “Yoongi you’re speaking as if this is the last time you’re telling me these three words. Please . .” The younger furrowed his brows, they were unsettled when he felt sorrow spread in his chest. For how long they snuggled, they didn’t know, all they knew that their arms were wrapped around each other firmly, faces buried into each other’s necks. 

Move on. 

Moving on was the only thing in Jimin’s head. Life is harsh, he was aware. Life gives surprises and heart attacks, but it was overwhelming. Out of all the people why would he lose his best friend. Out of all the people why would he tangle in the same world with Jooheon’s. He doesn’t want to regret meeting Yoongi, all he wanted was to free the pale broken guy from the prison he was living in. But in the end, he was in the same prison with him, fighting together against one enemy, fighting together to kill Yoongi’s fears. 

Said of Yoongi’s fears, mirrors were still giving him nightmares from time to time. He would see new illusions until he remembers Jimin’s words and they would vanish right away. It was still hard watching his own reflection staring back at him. The same small sleepy dark eyes, the same thin pink glossy lips, the same lifeless cheeks. But he knew with Jimin by his side every little anxious will leave him completely. They just need a little time before they see brightness right in front their eyes. 

“Am I going to live here and see this every single day?” Jimin and Yoongi let go of each other when they heard Jungkook’s voice. The younger was leaning against the door’s frame staring at the two cuddling waiting for them to let go but they didn’t until he spoke. “I’m hungry, haven’t eaten anything since morning.” He spat as he watched Yoongi guide him to the kitchen, followed by his man as usual. “Can you wait for a little bit till I finish the rice?” The elder watched the youngest nod his head like a little kid. Even though Jungkook’s figure was big, tall with broad shoulders, but sometimes his heart and action are like pure little kids which Yoongi liked the most about him. The kitchen went dead when Jimin sat across his friend with hands on the table, eyes glued on the black haired guy before he ruffled his hair with a loud sigh.

“By the way hyung . . What happened to your face?” Jungkook asked Yoongi who never turned to face him, pretending to be busy stirring the seaweed soup he was making. “You look ugly with these bruises.” The younger didn’t mean it, but his words stopped Yoongi’s hand as he stared at the soup with blank face. “Kook shut your mouth.” Jimin gritted his teeth right away, kicked the former under the table as he lifted his fist in the air acting as if he was going to punch the younger. In the end he knew Yoongi was scratched deep inside, because since they knew each other, Jimin never told Yoongi how ugly he looks but how beautiful he is. The sudden ugly word clenched the elder’s heart, but at that moment he pretended that he never heard anything. When he turned to the two, a fake smile was there painted on his face and Jimin felt it. 

“I know, they’ll disappear soon so don’t mind them.” He forced the words out, gulped hard before he grabbed Jungkook’s bowl and fill it with rice. “Yeah but what happened to you seriously? I would beat the shit out of that person right now.” The younger wrapped his fingers around his spoon before he burry it in his bowl. “Got in a fight with random street dudes.” He lied. Yoongi lied. And he knew Jimin caught him, but since he didn’t want to talk about Jooheon with Jungkook he let it go. When the soup was done, Yoongi sat vegetables on the table as he slid in the chair beside his man. For some reason the food tasted bitter on his tongue, it hardly swallowed down his throat. The whole time they were around the table he was quiet, the three were quiet but the sound of Jimin and Jungkook kicking each other under the table. 

“If hyung was here he would punch you to stop kicking me!” Jungkook shouted all of a sudden, he shoved one last spoon of rice in his spoon before he got up and hissed at his friend. Jimin sighed, Jungkook was hard to deal with after Minhyuk’s death. The younger was driving him nuts but he knew Jungkook was still having a hard time trying to adapt himself in a life without Minhyuk. “It’s fine, he needs some time.” Yoongi almost whispered to his man, rubbed his thigh gently before he planted a kiss on the side of his head. “I’ll apologize for him.” The younger spoke as he got up from his seat to help Yoongi with the dishes. “You don’t have to.” The elder exhaled softly, opened the flooding water on the dishes after he placed them on the sink. 

“It’s true I hate those bruises on your face. But you’re not ugly. I’m sure Jungkook didn’t mean it.” Foam was in Jimin’s hands, he hoped the plates won’t slide down his hands and make a mess. Yoongi said nothing. After what he heard he just faked another smile and washed the dishes silently. When they were done Yoongi followed his man all the way to his room, allowed him to sit on his bed and opened the closet to take out new clean comfy clothes for his boyfriend. “You’re taking care of us . . why?” The younger asked, bit his lower lip with eyes glued on Yoongi. True. Yoongi was there, for the both, taking care of the both, because they needed someone by their side. Jungkook and Jimin won’t be a good company together after the loss, they needed someone as Yoongi by their side, to soothe them and be there for them. 

“Because if I left the two of you on your own, you’ll kill each other and you’ll be a mess.” Yoongi sighed, sat by Jimin’s side on bed as he took his hand between his pale ones. “I want to see you feeling better with the days, I want you to move on to every struggle on your way, Jimin.” The elder stretched his hand to pull his man to his chest one more time, hand rubbing his back, arms wrapped around his thin waist pushed a slight smile one his face. “Thank you. .” Jimin whispered, nuzzled on his man’s pale neck, tried his hardest to be a real man and hold in his tears. “Get up and change, sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Yoongi pressed a soft kiss on the former’s forehead before he got on his feet. 

“Where are you going? Won’t you sleep here with me?” Jimin pouted slightly, looked cute before he felt a quick peck on his cherry lips. “I have to check on Jungkook.” After this Jimin wished if he stretched his hand to hold on to his man still and spend the night with him to talk about a lot of things, but he remembered how miserable Jungkook was at Minhyuk’s funeral, how he was looking for Yoongi and needed him by his side just like how he needs his man. With a sigh he changed into his comfy pajamas and laid on the rumbled sheets under him. 

Jungkook was laying on his side, on Yoongi’s bed with eyes staring outside at the night sky. When he heard the door close and shut quietly he never thought of turning because he knew no one barged in but Yoongi. “Will you be softer a little bit to your hyung?” Yoongi asked quietly as he folded one of Jungkook’s shirts that were tossed on the ground. “Jimin hyung is acting weird since we lost Minhyuk hyung. It’s almost a week and he never tried to look at me in the eye.” The youngest was about to cry, the pillow covered his face as he took a deep breath. 

“You’re acting weird and tough too.” The elder admitted. “You’re being mean and rude to Jimin and you are acting as you don’t give a fuck to anything at all.” He never rose his voice and shouted at the youngest at all, his voice was soft enough for Jungkook to stare at him with sedative eyes. “I’m sorry about this- 

“Jimin needs to hear this not me, kook.” Yoongi cut him with a smile. “The both of you are having a hard time I can understand this. But don’t act this way toward him and he won’t as well, just be who you are to him. I know how soft you actually are, little one.” Jungkook never stopped himself from jumping to his feet and throw himself at the former, they almost fell down from his strong arms around Yoongi. “Hyung you know? The time I spent with you when Jimin was in coma made us closer right? I can feel it. I like it, because I never knew you are an amazing person.” The younger spoke, every letter echoed in Yoongi’s ears perfectly. Words that made him happy. He wasn’t alone, he had his boyfriend, Jungkook and that’s enough for him. A friend and a lover. “Shut it brat!” The elder flushed red for seconds before he pushed the elder slightly from him. 

After he hardly pulled himself away from Jungkook, he shut the bathroom door behind him as he stripped away from his clothes. Skinny jeans sliding down his pale pure legs, his bruised torso exposed to the bathroom when he took of his shirt. The sound of the streaming warm water was heard in his room. Yoongi closed his eyes once he stepped under the steaming water, his head bent to the back as he inhaled deeply, hands trailing on his own body. They were two, but suddenly they turned to four. His eyes opened hastily as he couldn’t turn at all when arms wrapped around him from behind. Yoongi wanted to scream his heart out, the whole thing reminded him of Jooheon, and he was feeling him behind him, bare body pressed against his. “Let go!” He almost shouted as he struggled in his place. “Hyung . .” Yoongi froze in his place, eyes wide open the moment he heard Jungkook’s voice in his ears. 

“Hyung I want to shower with you.” 

“What the fuck Jungkook get out!!” Yoongi was boiling, the sudden appear of Jungkook made him regret not locking the door. Nothing was comfortable at all. It was different than how he used to shower with Jimin. Yoongi wanted Jimin’s hands on his bare body, but there was Junkook, running his hands on his skin with nose nuzzling on his pale neck from behind. “Hyung . . what if I have feelings toward you?” The youngest asked, lips pressed against the pale skin, he was feeling the way Yoongi quivered between his arms. “Stop fooling around!” The elder pushed the former’s arms away, got out of the shower as he grabbed his towel, dried himself and sank himself in his clothes before he rushed outside his room all the way to Jimin’s. 

Without hesitation he opened the door, knew by his actions he woke his boyfriend up but he crawled under the blanket with him and curled in his embrace instead of Jungkook’s arms. For some reason the younger sent shivers under his skin. “Hey what’s wrong?” Jimin’s voice was sleepy, arms held his man back as he closed his eyes again.

“Nothing, I want to sleep with you.”


	33. I'm not lonely

“Punch!” 

And he punched. 

“Harder! Push some strength to your fists!” 

And he did. He punched harder, tightened his fist more and smacked the bag with all force. Yoongi was panting hard, beads of sweat dropped down his temples as he tried to catch his breath. Three weeks have already passed since the last incident with Jungkook. For three weeks he avoided to meet the dark eyes of the youngest, for three weeks he never left Jimin’s side, for three weeks he acted weird according to his boyfriend’s notices. One month passed since Minhyuk’s death, Jimin and Jungkook started to accept the hard reality. They started to adapt to a life without their favorite hyung. 

Yoongi built some muscles inhis arms, he body became like a stone once you touch his skin, but that doesn’t mean he was stronger than his boyfriend. In the training room he focused on the huge dark blue bag, collided his gloved fists as he watched it swings. “I’m impressed!” Jimin pushed a smile, gave Yoongi a fist and he let go of the bag. “You improved a lot, baby.” He threw a bottle of water at his boyfriend when he took his red gloves off, watched him drink till the last drop. A deep exhale escaped the elder who laid on the grown with open arms. “Should I set the debut fight for you?” The question jerked Yoongi from his place as he sat staring widely at his man. “Are you for real!!” His mouth never closed until Jimin’s fingers touched his chin, closed his mouth with a smile. “Yes. I believe you’re ready for a fight now. Well an easy one for now.” The younger winked at him as he helped his boyfriend on his feet. 

“I can’t wait for this!” Yoongi lifted his fist in the air, heard the latter chuckle beside him as they left the training room. Jimin stopped with hand on his hips when his eyes met Jungkook’s, but the elder made his way to Jimin’s room for a shower, ignoring the younger completely. “Fuck Kook! You are going to clean all this shit and mess you did by yourself today do you hear me!” Jimin shot at his friend. Because, Jungkook was laying on the couch, console in his hand, chips bags all around him, empty beer cans, hair a mess and a hand was scratching his flat tummy under his shirt. “Fine fine . .” The youngest yawned, eyes glued on the big screen in front of him, low sounds of the video games filled the living room. 

“Kook. .” And when Jimin called him softly but seriously, his paused his game as he lifted his eyes to meet Jimin’s. “What?” He replied, sat properly before he faced his friend completely. “You don’t feel lonely, right?” The former took a deep breath, ruffled Jungkook’s hair and pushed a slight smile. “No. I’m fine with you and hyung. I don’t feel lonely at all. At least I don’t live alone. Thanks for bringing me here.” The younger picked Jimin’s cheek out of the blue, showing some friendly affection toward his one and only friend now. “I’m glad.” The former’s smile widened. Before he went to his room to check on Yoongi, he played one game with the youngest. And when he went to his room, he froze by the door when he watched his boyfriend sitting on the vanity bench, staring silently at his reflection with a dusty peach lipstick between his fingers. 

Since Jungkook showed in the shower with Yoongi, and the elder started to sleep with his boyfriend every single night, wear his clothes as well and use his boyfriend’s stuff. It has been a long time since Jimin watched Yoongi painting make up on his face, the last time he watched him was when they were neighbors in the old filthy building. But now there was his man, hardly facing himself with unorganized powder and eyeliner. “. . baby.” Jimin couldn’t stop himself from entering the room and approach his boyfriend. Warmly, his smile was captured on Yoongi’s dark sleepy eyes. “J-Jimin . . I-I- 

“It’s okay. Let me help you with this.” Jimin allowed himself to sit on the same small bench beside his boy, more like straddling it to face his boyfriend completely who turned to straddle his man’s waist instead. That way they fitted on the bench. “I know you said I look better without . . . but . .” Yoongi hesitated to talk. But Jimin was patient with him, gave him the time to put his words together, because he knew soon Yoongi will let everything out in his heart to his man. “J-Jungkook said . . I looked ugly before. I-I just wanted to look beautiful. Nah- jut- cuz- hof – that . .” Yoongi’s words weren’t clear with Jimin started to spread the peach color on the pinky thin kissable lips. “God let me talk first!” The elder pushed Jimin’s hand down as he stared into his brown eyes. 

“Okay tell me.” The younger pushed another warm smile. Placed the lipstick on the vanity’s surface, hands rested on Yoongi’s hips to pull him closer. “I don’t know . . those feelings started to creep in me again. There was this time when I was able to look at myself . . no my real self. My real face. My real reflection. But then again when I heard Jungkook back then I couldn’t take anything any longer, because I knew from the very beginning I’m not beautiful- 

His words were cut again, his words disappeared in the air when the familiar soft lips touched him. Kissed him, passionately. The soft puffy lips he didn’t feel for weeks were slipping against his, were talking to him, were telling him how he’s such an addiction to Jimin. “You’re beautiful.” The younger whispered when he pulled back, Yoongi’s saliva mixed with his as he licked his lips. “You’re beautiful not just from the out side but here also . .” Jimin’s index finger touched Yoongi’s chest, their eyes met. The sleepy eyes were glossy, were talking to Jimin, were telling him a lot and a lot of unlimited things. “You’re beautiful from head to toe. Your hair, your eyes, your small nose and your gorgeous lips. Your pale skin, your pretty hands, your heart, your torso, your thin legs. Oh god those thin legs I love so much. I don’t care if others see you differently, I don’t care what they think. Everyone has a different taste and type so don’t let anyone pull you down with words that doesn’t suits you. 

“You’re my love, and all I see in front of me is beauty. Did I tell you this before? That you’re a piece of art in my eyes. A very precious piece of art that I should protect and keep safe in the depth of my heart. Unforgivable beautifulness.” Jimin sucked his lower lip when he finished, stared deeply into the watery sleepy eyes. But he knew those tears were from the sweet touching words he said. “I hate you Jimin.” Yoongi almost whispered, his arms were thrown around the former’s neck, legs wrapped around Jimin’s waist as he let his tears fall down his cheeks from the strange feeling he felt in his chest. It was strange but he knew it was a beautiful feeling filling him. 

“Yeah yeah . . I love you too. And don’t cry you are going to mess your make up.” Jimin chuckled when he let go of his boyfriend. Watched him wipe his eyes and mess the black eyeliner. “Here. . let me fix it for you.” Jimin grabbed a soft cotton was laying there on the vanity, wiped the messed eyeliner from the corners of the sleepy eyes as he grabbed the liquid eyeliner and demanded his man to close his eyes. “Right now, we’re doing this for fun and nothing else. Okay?” The younger didn’t start until he watched the former nods his head. After he finished applying to black liquid, Yoongi opened his eyes slowly to look back at his reflection. Actually, now he stared deeply, he didn’t like it. After all, Jimin was right, he didn’t need all these things to make him look prettier, he was naturally beautiful with his man by his side. 

“Should I do this for you too?” The elder chuckled, after a fight with his man he grabbed him from the back of his neck to hold him in place and draw the black line. “This will make me look so weird, baby. Make it good though.” Jimin tightened his hand on the former’s hips, rubbed with his fingertips the soft skin his fingers allowed when they slipped underneath the thin layer of Yoongi’s shirt. “Done!” The elder couldn’t stop laughing when Jimin opened his eyes, it was neat and tidy, but it was messy and unorganized lines. “God Yoongi! What have you done, I look like a clown now.” The younger burst out laughing at himself, he kinda couldn’t stand looking at himself with messy eyeliner since he wasn’t used to it. “Hold on hold on. Not yet a clown you need this.” The elder took out a red lipstick, spread on the puffy lips and willingly on his man’s nose. 

“What the fuck Yoongi!” Jimin jumped from the bench, almost pushed his man on the ground from his lap. Their laughs filled the whole apartment, even Jungkook paused his game again to make sure the other two are doing fine in their room. “Oh my god! Now I look like a real clown. Hey give me that you need this too.” The younger pulled the red lipstick from Yoongi’s hand as he ran after him in the room to paint his whole face, red. “Stop running like a mouse and sit your ass down back there.” He demanded, but Yoongi approached him instead, cupping his cheeks as he leaned in for a kiss. The lipstick was fast to fall on the ground as Jimin grabbed his man closer, kissing him with his tongue and sloppy kisses. 

Instead of the loud laughs, their loud moans filled the air instead. Jimin pushed his man down on the bed, stripped him out of his clothes as he gave him love. Hickeys were printed on the pale neck and shoulder. Yoongi was flipped on his back when Jimin pushed in him from behind, intertwined their fingers as he pressed his weight against him. Along with Jimin’s fingers, Yoongi tugged on the sheets too, his face turned to meet the former’s swollen lips as he whispered Jimin’s name between their wet kiss. “You’re so good, baby.” The younger thrust deeper, his kisses trialed to the former’s nape and spine. For some reason, Yoongi was sure Jungkook heard them clearly, every single move they did, every little action they took, because the door was open a bit, and they weren’t low, they were loud enough for the ant in the ground outside to hear. 

“Feel me Jimin. .” Yoongi spoke breathlessly, when his man stopped him movement he didn’t expect to be flipped back on his back, facing his panting boy on top of him, thrusting in his again. “Then I want to see your face while feeling you.” Jimin rested his hands on the either side of his man’s head, clenched on the sheets and he worked his hips in a faster pace. “Fuck!” The elder uttered, his mouth opened wide with loud moans, eyes meeting the brown eyes from time to time, hands gripping tight into Jimin’s strong shoulders. “I love you so much!” He confessed, felt aggressive kisses on his neck as he moaned louder, breathed heavier. The thrust in his lower body was sending him to the edge. “I love you, baby.” The younger pushed in his man for more last thrusts until he was pushed down with arms around him, Yoongi’s loud moans in his ears as he came. 

“Let me remove this off of your face.” After they cooled down on bed for half an hour, Jimin pulled his pants up as he grabbed cottons and make up remover that Yoongi had from his vanity. Gently he wiped the make up away, revealing the real face he loved so much, to death. “There we go. All clean now.” He smiled again, put whatever was in his hand away after he wiped his messy make up too and laid on bed again beside his boyfriend. “That was the last time. We’re going to throw everything away, all the make up okay?” For some reason he was afraid from the elder’s rejection but surprisingly he nodded his head as a good kid. “Okay.” After the low word, Yoongi laid on his boy, arms on the bare chest, face staring down at his man who crossed his arms behind his back. “I love how you always pull me back to reality. And see the beauty in everything.” The elder admitted, he leaned for a quick peck before he laid beside Jimin, wrapped his limps around him as he drifted in his sleep. 

The next morning Jimin had to leave after breakfast, he took a quick shower and changed into new clean clothes. “I’ll see you when I come back. I have to discuss few things with my manager.” He leaned as he gave his man a deep kiss before he rushed out to his car. 

The kind of atmosphere Yoongi hated. He was left alone with Jungkook who came out from his room all the way toward him, to the kitchen. “What’s there for breakfast.” Was the first thing left his lips in the morning, but Yoongi stayed quiet as he placed some plates filled with food on the table. “You don’t have to ignore me you know?” The youngest didn’t meet Yoongi’s eyes, all he did was shoving some rice in his mouth. “I’m not ignoring you.” The elder tried to avoid being around Jungkook, his feet took him to the living room to stay away for a little bit. 

“You are.” 

“I said I’m not. And don’t eat here, I won’t clean after you.” Yoongi almost spat the words at the younger. On the couch he found himself pinned, forearms on the either side of his head with wide eyes staring up at Jungkook who pushed him down and hovered over him. “W-What are you doing, get the fuck off of me.” Yoongi tried to free himself but Jungkook was stronger. “When I barged in your shower I said ‘What if’ I didn’t say that I do have feelings for you hyung. But I realized that I truly do have them now. After I heard you enjoying yourselves last night, I was jealous as fuck!” The youngest furrowed his brows, eyes dropped down to the mess on Yoongi’s pale neck as he flamed in the inside. 

“Jungkook I’m already your friend’s boyfriend. Stop it. I didn’t hear anything now.” The elder wanted to move but Jungkook didn’t at all, he was pinned for who the hell knows under the younger. “I’m fucking aware! That’s why I want to kill the feelings inside of me. I don’t want to fall for you but I can’t stop it. I was so happy the time and days we were so close, but I just realized that I wasn’t happy because we opened a little to each other, I was growing some feelings toward you.” The youngest clenched his teeth, he leaned in a flash of light to press his lips on the pale neck again. Yes, Yoongi’s skin was building the lust in his body, Yoongi’s beautiful face was driving him insane to sink his teeth in his flesh. “Fucking stop it kook!” The elder gasped when he felt the sucks on his neck, and he was sure after Jungkook is done, purple bruises will be mixed with Jimin’s, and if his man noticed, he is a dead meet. 

“Fuck that hurts!” The former was on the ground rubbing his butt when Yoongi pushed him strongly. On his feet Yoongi stood, rushed to Jimin’s room as he locked the door. For the whole day he stayed there, locking himself, even though he heard Jungkook apologizing by the door but he never unlocked it until Jimin came back home and found his door locked. “Yoongi? Are you inside opened the door.” The former knocked on the door until he heard it unlock. 

“You’re home!” The elder sounded happy, his arms wrapped around his man as he snuggled him tight. “Yeah uh . . why is my door locked, now explain to me.” Oops. Yoongi didn’t know what to say, he didn’t even know how to tell his boyfriend about Jungkook. “Is everything alright?” The former asked softly, running circles on the elder’s back. “Y-Yeah everything is fine, I just wanted to stay a lone without Jungkook bothering me. So I locked myself in your room.” Yoongi lied, and Jimin suspected the words. “Is he bothering you so much?” and when Jimin asked, Yoongi wanted to shout a loud YES but he couldn’t at all, in the end he shook his head and threw himself on bed. 

“Baby what are these?” The younger furrowed his brows when he noticed the new marks on the pale neck, they were noticeable. “What do you mean?” Yoongi cursed in his inner, his heart never stopped beating in his chest, he felt as if he cheated on the most precious boy he ever loved. When Jimin pointed at his own neck his face turned to serious, enough to send shivers down Yoongi’s spine. “Those marks, where did you get them from?” Fuck. Yoongi cursed again, now he was caught and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

“What marks? These are yours from last night.” 

“No. These are not mine. Explain what the fuck happened.” Jimin started to rage slowly, because he was sure those marks were not his. He knew his own marks and where he should print them on his man’s skin. “Why are you angry, nothing happened at all.” Yoongi tried to sound normal, but when Jungkook leaned his head against the door’s frame everything shattered. 

“Yoongi why are you lying to me? I know my marks and these are not mine! Don’t tell me y-you . .” Jimin doubted their relationship all of a sudden, he teeth clenched as he stared down at his man with angry eyes. “. . what?” The elder bit his lower lip as he shifted his eyes to Jungkook who crossed his arms. “Go ahead and tell him.” The youngest grabbed Jimin’s attention, watched him taking a step to the back. “W-What’s going on in here.” In a total oblivion Jimin didn’t know if he should look at Jungkook or Yoongi. 

“Go ahead and tell him Yoongi! Tell him that I marked you! Tell him that I confessed to you! Just fucking tell him already!” Jungkook almost yelled but when he wanted to approach, a strong punch on his cheek pushed him down to the ground. 

“Stop it don’t hurt him!” It was the last words Yoongi managed to say before he was shut down with a death glare from Jimin, a death glare that reminded him of no one but one person. Jooheon.


	34. Don't get sick

The glances made a new illusion. Instead of the pretty face of Jimin was Jooheon’s. The exact same eyes, the parted lips and the furrowed brows. Yoongi said nothing after he yelled at his man to stop hurting Jungkook. In the end he left the room rushing outside the whole building, in his sweat pants and t-shirt he walked down the streets with hands on the either side of his head. ‘Disappear. Disappear’ Were the only words escaping from between his pink lips. Not long after Jungkook was calling his phone, not once or twice, it never stopped ringing for quiet time. And if Jungkook would stop for few minutes, Jimin would burn his phone with messages and new missed calls. 

Out of all people Yoongi never wanted Jimin to hurt anyone. Not a single soul. But after all he knew Jimin got mad from the youngest among them. Honestly, Yoongi was not expecting any weird behavior from Jimin at all. But after all the things he went through with Jooheon, he kind of knew Jimin would change. Yoongi learned nothing from his life but not to believe in others’ words. If it wasn’t snowing, it was raining. The clouds gathered above his head in the night sky, covering the moon in thick layers and the stars as well, leaving the pale guy in the dark streets all alone. When the first drops of rain dropped on his shoulders and head, his feet stopped walking as he dropped his hands down beside his body. Every single drop was echoing in his ears, he watched them connecting on the ground as they became all one layer of water on earth. 

The rain poured on him, but the first drops reminded him of the whole time he spent with Jimin since the day he met him. Just like the tiny drops they were drops as well, slowly dropping beside each other until they became one. But after the rain everything dries, the water fades and the sun give the earth some light. Yoongi was wondering what was going to happen to the both of them, will they fade like the rain after the clouds disappears or they’ll fall apart from their well built puzzle? He wondered. Even if Jimin started to act bad, there must be a reason. Yoongi wanted to fix them before everything turns bad between them, he wanted to fix them before it’s too late to do anything. Just like how he ran out from the apartment, he ran back to the familiar building, without using the elevator he used the stairs all the way up to their level.

When he unlocked the door, the apartment was darker than he expected. The living room was dead, the TV was off and Jungkook nowhere to be seen. When Yoongi wandered his eyes toward the stairs Jimin’s door was opened slightly but the light was on. Jimin was there, probably waiting for him but Yoongi grabbed ice and closed the door of his room after he entered. Completely aware of Jungkook being there laying on his bed, he walked toward him with silence, watched the youngest sit on his butt and lifted his head to look back at the pale guy. “Hyung where did you go . . ouch!” Jungkook hissed when he felt the ice kisses his swollen cheekbone. “You’re soaking.” He wanted to touch the former’s hips but his hands were slapped. “You’ll catch a cold.” As if Jungkook was the only one in the room, Yoongi didn’t talk much. 

“. . shut up.” Yoongi forced Jungkook to hold the ice as he left the room, leaving the younger all alone again. Jimin was waiting for him and he was sure, but how was he going to face him after he knew about what happened between him and Jungkook. His thoughts vanished when he looked through the space of the opened door, and Jimin was there sitting at the edge of the bed with hands covering his face, he would stare at his phone from time to time to check of Yoongi called back but the elder never did. When he heard the door close he jerked from his place, he wanted to wrap his arms around his man but nothing happened at all, all he did was standing still in his place with cold eyes staring at Yoongi. 

“I can explain. .” The elder started but Jimin furrowed his brows. 

“Explain what? What’s there to explain after what Jungkook said.” Jimin ran his fingers through his hair from the sudden anger that dictated on his softness. “Do you know what does this mean?!” He snapped all of a sudden, tensing his man who bit his lower lip. “It means that the both of us are going to fight for you and ruin whatever we have between us! Just like how me and Jooheon are enemies now I’m afraid Kook will turn into new enemy too.” His voice was shaking the room, along with the Yoongi’s body that was pressed against the closed door. 

“Even if he confessed Jimin, I rejected him. I rejected him because I only love you. .” Yoongi spoke in a lower tone, afraid if he shouted back Jimin will explode on him just like Jooheon and beat the shit out of him. “True he touched me but I pushed him twice.” And there was a huge mistake on the truth of the words. The younger clenched his fist as he punched the nearest pillow at the edge of the bed. “Twice? So does this mean he already touched you before today?” He let out a pissed chuckle, sent shivers underneath Yoongi’s skin. “Why did you hide this from me Yoongi? Isn’t it something I should know before I hear it from someone else?” Silence gap was there in the air, it just pissed Jimin off just like how Jooheon hated Yoongi’s silence. 

“N-No don’t hurt me. .” The elder stuttered as he took a step back, pressing himself more against the door with hands crawling to his head for the second time that day. “Please I beg you don’t hurt me.” In situations like this, Yoongi received nothing but hard smacks and kicks in his previous relationship. Jimin was doing nothing but replaying all the awful memories in Yoongi’s head again, he was acting tough and weird. The soft Jimin vanished completely from the one standing, facing his innocent boyfriend. “Yoongi I’m not going to fucking hurt you! I’m just mad at everything . . I just feel like I’m losing you soon.” He shouted but the last words were lower, words broke Yoongi’s heart into pieces. When he approached Yoongi couldn’t stop his loud shout as he slid down against the door all the way to the ground. 

Jimin didn’t know what he was doing, didn’t know if he was making his man feel better or worse, didn’t know that he was building sorrow in Yoongi from head to toe. “You’re just like him, Jimin! You’re hurting me deeper. You people are all the same! Acting nice but then break others while hurting them so bad!” The elder never held his loud sobs, all he wanted was to be taken away from Jimin at that moment. He wanted to stand on his feet and run away, it was more like he wished if he didn’t come back to fix the mistake happened but in the end it grew to something bigger, to something he might leave Jimin for. In the right time Jungkook rushed inside the room again, bending down beside the elder who pushed him away at first. 

“What the fuck is going on here. . why is he shouting!” The youngest turned toward his friend who was shocked, standing in his place as if someone froze him in his spot and left him all broken. “Come on.” Jungkook tried to help the man beside to stand but Yoongi was refusing everything, he never wanted anything anymore. “Get away from me . .” The former breathed between his sniffles. “Get the fuck away from me!!” He yelled when Jungkook was stubborn enough to lift him from the ground on his broad shoulder. “Put me down Jungkook! Fuck you! Put me down right now!!” Yoongi was hitting Jungkook’s back, never stopped shouting when he was carried down the stairs, outside the apartment, in the hallway to the stairs and outside the whole building. “Jungkook you asshole!” He smacked the younger’s chest once he was placed down on the ground, under the rain again. 

“Yoongi I won’t forgive him if your tears are shedding for Jimin.” The youngest clenched his teeth, gripped tightly into the former’s pale thin wrist as he walked away. All alone under the pouring rain they walked down the empty streets in silence, Yoongi was dragged like a lost puppet when he gave up on struggling. He didn’t know where they were heading, and he didn’t want to know at all, as long as he was taken away from Jimin, that what mattered to him. “I’m sorry, hyung.” Jungkook’s voice was covered by the sound of the rain, it was barely heard but Yoongi heard him clearly. 

“Shut up. .” The elder uttered under his breathe. In the end they went to the familiar empty house. Jungkook’s house. Once they entered, the sound of the pouring rain was like echoes in their ears. The house was warm, a bit dusty but nothing changed at all. Yoongi was shivering cold from walking the rain twice. By the door he stood, never followed Jungkook inside when his wrist was released. By the door he bent his head down, still not believing what happened between him and his boyfriend who was left all alone out there. The cold he felt almost froze his running fluid underneath his skin, his fingers never stopped trembling as he wrapped his arms around himself. Jungkook vanished, his silhouette tangled with the dark. “. . Hyung.” When he heard his voice calling him softly, he knew he should move his feet to where the youngest was. 

“I’m sorry that I don’t have any clothes here, they are all in the apartment.” Jungkook turned on one light as he scratched his head to think about something, and then he remembered there were few folded shirts in the living room that he forgot when Jimin was pushing him to leave the house. “Oh there.” The youngest tossed his soaking shirt aside, hanged it on the chair around a dining table as he walked to the living room to grab the shirts. He brushed the dust away from it before he handed Yoongi a shirt. “This is all we have now. I’m sure you don’t want to go back now.” The elder said nothing, his pale fingers tugged at the him of his wet shirt as he lifted it all the way up to his head and placed it beside Jungkook’s. 

Yoongi’s pale skin, it was dripping rain. Yoongi’s pale body was thin, it grabbed Jungkook’s eyes, they were staring at him for who the hell knows, until Yoongi made an annoyed face expression telling Jungkook to stop staring at according to him ugly body. “Hyung your pants too.” Without hesitation Yoongi took them off, stayed in his boxer as he tried to cover his bare chest with his arms. “Don’t stay so quiet, hyung. I just wanted to take you away because I felt like you need it.” True, Yoongi needed it and he was surprised how the youngest was feeling him. With another shirt, he dried his body before he sinks in the huge shirt of Jungkook, it was big enough on him to reach just above his knees, it slid down his thin shoulder as well. The youngest would be lying if he said Yoongi wasn’t adorable in his shirt, but it wasn’t the right time to be all lovey dovey with him. 

“Hyung-

“Kook stop it.” The elder cut him fast, talked in a low tone, showed how he wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. He awkwardly stood there, facing the ground with his hand rubbing his own upper arm. “May I?” Jungkook asked, and when he was answered back with a “What?” He approached Yoongi slowly, left few inches between them before he pulled him in his arms, grabbed him firmly when the former fought slightly. “It’s okay. If you want to cry more you can cry,” Since the younger was much taller, he rested his chin on the former’s head as he continued “I won’t see you, let it all out.” And just like this, he heard soft sobs escaping Yoongi, never expected him to clench on the back of his shirt tight. 

“Can you tell me something?” The elder pulled himself slightly to lift his head and look at the younger. 

“Anything.” 

“Why people lie?” Yoongi took a deep breath to finally stop his tears. 

“Because they want to get something that will be rejected if they said the truth.” Jungkook smiled slightly, a smile filled with warmth that calmed the former’s heart. “Come here.” He whispered as he bent down slightly, slid his arms under Yoongi and lifted him in his arms. As he expected, his hyung was light as a feather, arms were thin like sticks around his neck. “Right now, I don’t want you to think about anything. Forget what happened with Jimin hyung because I’ll be telling you some stories.” Jungkook spoke while walking to his room, to his bed that he missed so much. On the sheets he placed Yoongi down, watched him lay and the blanket was fast to cover the both of them under it. “Jimin is all alone.” The elder bit his lower lip, turned on his side to face Jungkook. 

“Why are you thinking about Jimin after what he did to you man.” Jungkook sighed. “I know I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have talked like this in front of him, but I was just so pissed and angry.” There was silence again, but their eyes were locked, they would blink slightly and part their lips. As if a wave of snow blew against them, Yoongi shivered at the same time he felt warmth growing in his body. “Hyung?” Jungkook called when he noticed how the latter was staring at him weirdly. “Are you okay hyung?” When he asked again he watched beads of sweat rolling down Yoongi’s pale face. “I-I’m cold.” Yoongi hardly spoke, his teeth were colliding together in a fast pace. 

“Why are you sweating if you’re cold!” The youngest started to panic, his head was blank, never knew what he should do but one thing, pulling Yoongi to his chest and keep him warm, and when he wrapped one arms around him to pull him to his chest he pulled the blanket till it touched his chin and rested the other arm around him. 

“Hyung don’t get sick please. . I don’t know what to do.” It was the last line Yoongi heard before he passed out in the former’s warm arms, to somewhere far away and wash all the painful memories in his head away.


	35. I love him

The sound of the drops of water was echoing in the room. Jungkook was squeezing the rag in his hand to place it down on Yoongi’s forehead. In the middle of the night he felt the warmth of the elder’s body increasing, nothing scared him more than the former’s panting face. 

On the other side Jimin couldn’t sleep. His thought about Yoongi never left his mind, distracting him from anything else. Guilt was growing in him from head to toe, the way he yelled at his man broke his heart into small pieces. All he wanted to do was to run outside under the rain and find Yoongi, he wanted to apologize and pull him in his arms. But Jungkook. Jungkook took his man away, and he had no idea where they were at all. True his friend pissed him off to his limits, never in his entire life he expected the youngest to fall for Yoongi at all, but a man like Yoongi can be loved by anyone. His man was kind, understanding and be there when he wanted him. 

It was 3AM when he couldn’t close his eyes at all. He wanted Yoongi beside him, he wanted to hold him and feel his arms around him too. As if the moon was laughing at him now and hiding behind the thick clouds, he grabbed his phone and dialed his man’s phone even if it was so late, he didn’t care, he wanted to hear his voice even if he sounded sleepy. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. When he called again and again, the other line was picked up. All the words disappeared from his throat as he didn’t know what to say anymore. “Yoongi . .” He almost whispered his name, but there was silence on the other side, frustrating silence. “Baby I’m so sorry . . I was angry and I just want to make up with you, please come back and let’s talk.” The silence killed him again, and when he heard the familiar voice talking back to him, his heart dropped to his ankles. 

“Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice answered him back. Jimin didn’t know if he should get mad or yell at his friend too, but all he wanted was to hear Yoongi’s voice. “I need to talk to you too, and Yoongi hyung,” The pause in the youngest voice jerked Jimin from his bed. His raincoat was grabbed; his legs ran down the stairs as he wore his boots without any care. “He’s sick.” Once he heard the words, he ran his heart out from his apartment. If his man was sick that means he needed him the most and no one else, not even Jungkook. “Where the fuck are you two?” Jimin never hung up the call until he heard the answer from his friend. 

The sound of his running feet echoed in the whole building until he buried himself in his car. To reach Jungkook’s house faster he tried to be careful while driving fast. The main door opened for him once he arrived. “Where is he?” Was the first question he asked Jungkook the moment he saw his face. “In my room.” And when the youngest answered him, he left him behind in the entrance to rush up the stairs to his man. Yoongi’s face was more pale, he was weak on bed and Jimin couldn’t stop himself from approaching him right away and grab his hand. “Yoongi. .” The name was whispered again, the back of his eyeballs were getting warmer the more he stared at his sick boyfriend. “Please wake up tomorrow all better, hm? I’ll stay here beside you. I won’t hurt you baby . . never. You might have had some illusions but I won’t ever hurt you. If I said I’m different than Jooheon then I am. Anger dictates sometime you know?” He talked but nothing was replying to him. 

Beside Yoongi he laid, still grabbing his hand as he allowed himself to drift in sleep with him. Jungkook gave the room to the two when he watched how his friend was concerned about Yoongi, in the end he laid on the couch and sighed from the whole messed up situation they were all in. Even though he wanted to take care of the elder but he knew by Jimin being there Yoongi might feel better, even after their fight. 

The next morning Jimin opened his eyes just to see Yoongi’s sleeping face in front of him, still had a fever but less than the previous night. Under the sun that breakthrough Jungkook’s window he lifted his hand to brush the vain fringe of his man’s forehead. “Morning, Yoongi.” Jimin spoke in a very low tone, still felt bad about the whole fight that happened between them. True he was mad at Jungkook too, but he needed to cool down, because Yoongi didn’t cheat on him, the youngest kind of forced him. After he pulled the blanket well on his sleeping boyfriend, he left the room to look for Jungkook, to settle things with him. 

Jungkook was already awake, serving some food he ordered on plates for Yoongi and him. When Jimin stood there against the wall staring at him with arms crossed against his chest, he knew the ceiling will fall on his shoulders soon. “Since when?” Jimin was direct, he wanted to know everything as soon as possible. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Since when do you have feelings for Yoongi?” 

“oh.” Was the only thing escaped from between Jungkook’s pink lips before he furrowed his brows. “I don’t know exactly since when, but I realized them.” 

“Jungkook he’s already with me, and you know this already for awhile now. This year’s winter is our anniversary and I don’t want things bad between us at all. I love him, and I’m aware I hurt him last night, I know I yelled at him and made him feel so fucking bad. He even mentioned Jooheon and I just couldn’t believe it. H-He said I was acting like him, but I wasn’t at all. I believe he still has these illusions which I should erase from his head completely.” Jimin took a deep breath once he ended his words.

“What illusions Jimin, I don’t understand at all. Is something wrong with Yoongi hyung?” And for a moment Jimin forgot about Jungkook not knowing exactly what was going on with Yoongi. How he hated mirrors and his reflections, how he sees illusions about everything bad. 

“Nothing.” The older muttered. “But Jungkook, I don’t want you near him again do you hear me. I don’t want to get mad at all, so please understand me . . no understand us and try to get over your feelings. I don’t want to fight with you and lose you, you’re the only friend I have, kook.” 

“But Yoongi hyung . . he’s so hurt. And you made him cry-

“I know. I scared him and I want to fix this. But Jungkook you shouldn’t have touched him when he belongs to me. He’s someone no one can resist, his beauty attracts so much, but please for god’s sake Kook. I’ll kill you if you touched him again.” Jimin sounded serious, he sighed, ran his fingers through his black hair as he gulped hard. Jungkook tired to understand but what about his man? He wondered in his inner. “J-Jimin. .” The sound he heard beside him burst his heart out of his chest. Yoongi’s tired voice echoed in the air between the three as he stood there, stared deeply into the brown eyes after he heard the whole conversation of the two.


	36. Beautiful us

The living room was quiet to the point that they heard the sound of the silence ringing in their ears. His toes were rubbing against the dusty floor of the living room, Jimin sat nervously with fingers intertwined together on his lap, connecting and gathering the words in his throat to speak to his sick boyfriend. Jungkook gave them some space, he stayed in the kitchen wondering on his own. 

“Jimin.” “Hyung.” 

The word ‘Hyung’ scares Yoongi. Jimin never calls him hyung unless he was dead serious about something. When they called each other at the same time, Yoongi rubbed his nape with teeth biting his lower lip. “You go first.” He glanced at the younger for few seconds, watched him preparing his words. “No, you first.” Jimin scratched his head, cheeks painted red when his eyes met the sleepy ones. 

“I just wanted to say, let’s go out, I don’t want to talk here.” 

“You’re sick we can’t.” Jimin spoke softly, but the tone in Yoongi’s voice was insisting. Talking about the whole things he wanted to say should be somewhere far where Jungkook shouldn’t listen or interrupt at all. In his heart? There were a lot of words wanted to free themselves, he wanted to talk about all the kind of feelings he felt, everything broke his heart. He wanted to tell Jimin how he was changing slowly with the time, but even if his man was changing he knew the old Jimin was still buried in his man’s chest, deep inside. Jimin rested his arm on Yoongi’s upper back to walk with him all the way to his car, he opened the door for him as always, being gentleman as his usual self. When he closed the passenger door, he sank in and started the car. “I won’t drive for so long, you need to rest.” The younger’s voice was still soft and sweet. 

Yoongi never wanted to argue anymore, he let Jimin do whatever he wanted at that time since he was a little bit weak. The pouring rain from the previous day really got him, the heater in the car was turned on for him just in case he doesn’t feel any cold. “I want to go to the river we went to before. .” His voice was in the space between them as Jimin only heard him, without rejections he watched his man pulling the car all the way to the river’s direction. The whole ride was dead, no word was spoken, not a single letter, but Jimin knew once he’ll let one word out Yoongi will complete them with him.

In the car they stayed once they arrived, the car facing the river from meters away. Yoongi stared blankly at the sedated waves, following each other one by one to catch one another. “I’m sorry. .” When Jimin finally broke the useless silence between them, his hand moved involuntary to grab Yoongi’s, to feel his pale soft skin against his palm, to feel their fingers intertwining as they used to. His head was turned away, avoiding the sleepy dark eyes because he knew if he looked at Yoongi, he would jump on him and hold him so tight in his arms. “I don’t understand why you got mad when it wasn’t my fault . . I mean yeah well my fault for not talking about it but I heard your conversation with Jungkook this morning.” As Jimin knew, he gave space to his man to speak and let everything out. 

“Yeah . . I’m sorry for getting mad at you, a lot of things happened when I was out, and when I came back I saw and heard all that shit . . I was boiling you know.” Jimin took a deep breath, his fingers tightened between Yoongi’s as he sucked on his lower lip. “It wasn’t your fault at all, I just needed some time.” The younger tilted his head to the back, eyes wandering on the sparkling calm water. 

“I’m sorry too. I blamed you and I ran away from you, I stayed with Jungkook when I shouldn’t have did that.” 

“Come here. .” Jimin jumped to the back seat, stretched his hand to pull Yoongi all the way with him. On his lap he let him sit, his thin side pressed against his torso, strong arms wrapped around his thin waist. “Won’t you tell me about what happened when you were out?” The elder asked curiously, his fingers tugged slightly on the former’s dark shirt. “Yeah sure I’ll tell you . . something sad and bad though to me.” Jimin smiled warmly, the usual smile that melts Yoongi’s heart. “I left to have a meeting with my manager right?” When Yoongi nodded he continued “Well, I was told to stop boxing completely. After that coma, I don’t think my head will be able to welcome anymore punches, If I joined a fight again and received a hard punch, you know I might just,” He stopped talking when he realized the heavy word that wanted to escape from between his lips. 

“You might just what?” Yoongi was worried for some reason, the way Jimin was talking sadly made his head work to think about millions of things. “. . die.” When the younger let the word out, Yoongi found himself throwing his arms around the younger’s neck, tight. “I-I told you to stop before. We told you, you can’t just go on with boxing Jimin. I know how bad it is, I know that I told you to teach me this awful game, I’m aware I’ll go on the first fight in my whole life. I’m scared yes, but you know exactly what I want. Once I succeed I’ll stop as well. Jimin let’s live without any worries together, yeah?” The elder didn’t know if he was begging, didn’t know if whatever he said will make any sense to his man, didn’t know if Jimin will even listen to him. “You’ll always be my strong man; I can’t forget the things you did to me since they day we met. No matter what happens next, I just want you be safe without any more bruises on your body.” Yoongi gulped hard, his fingers grabbed a fistful of the back of Jimin’s shirt, holding him as tight as he could, enough to hear the younger’s heart bumping against their chests. 

“. .Yoongi.” The boxer whispered. 

“Jimin please.” Yoongi whispered his name back, pulled himself back slightly to finally lock his eyes with the brown ones. “You made me strong, let me protect you this time.” He bit his lower lip when Jimin stared at him sadly, eyes getting watery with every second passed. “Fine . . but just know that I’m doing all of this only for you.” The words were ended with a chuckle from the older, he snuggled his man one more time. “I love you so much!” he let his voice rings in the younger’s ears right away, when he felt arms pulling him even more close to his man he couldn’t stop the smile on his face. “I love you, and don’t fight with me again.” The boxer smiled softly, met Yoongi’s eyes one last time before he leaned forward to capture the pinky soft lips between his, giving him the most wonderful soft kiss filled with love. 

Butterflies in Yoongi’s stomach sent shivers underneath his skin, when he opened his mouth slightly to move his lips with Jimin, the former kissed him back, passionately. “Let me kiss all of you. .” The younger almost whispered when he broke the kiss for some air. Yoongi whimpered as a respond, he leaned again to capture the former’s puffy lips. “Let me love you, Yoongi.” The younger nuzzled on Yoongi’s pale face, his jawline and down his neck. They made love, all the elder felt was the pleasure feelings in his body. He fit perfectly with Jimin and they both knew it. They stayed still in the backseat for quite time, the older between Jimin’s strong arms, feeling each other still. 

The river was hardly seen from the backseat, Yoongi was staring at the sky while feeling his boy holding him tight. Even though he was still weak but he knew he was getting better with Jimin being with him. “Are you alright, baby?” The younger wondered out loud, his hand lifted all the way up to the former’s pale forehead to check his fever even though his whole bare body was pressed against his, nothing was covering them but extra coat Jimin had in his car. “I’m doing better. I was crazy walking under the rain twice.” Yoongi admitted, his soft chuckle bloomed flowers in Jimin’s chest. 

“Yeah you’re crazy.” Soft kisses were planted on Yoongi cheek, tightened his held on his man tighter. 

“I want to go there.” When he pointed toward the river, Jimin refused at first, was worried about his man’s condition but in the end he took him out of the car when Yoongi never stopped whining and telling him that he will be fine. The clouds started to gather in the sky above them, allowing them to see how thick they were to start showering the earth. “We should go back before it rains.” Jimin shoved his hands in his pockets after they wore their clothes again. Wind brushing their hair in every direction. “I want to go back home. Not Jungkook’s house, but our home, Jimin.” The former felt arms around his thin body, soft kiss planted on the back of his head. “Sure.” Jimin whispered behind him, swayed them slightly to left and right with smiles never leaving their faces. 

Yoongi never pulled his hand away from Jimin’s when they drove back to pick Jungkook up. He was holding his hand tight even when the youngest among them stared at them from the backseat. “Jimin hyung you’re so stupid.” Jungkook started, eyes glued on the side of his friend’s face. “What the hell Kook.” The boxer rolled his eyes while driving with one hand. “I don’t know why you want me to go back to your apartment after what I did.” When the youngest spoke again, Yoongi wandered his eyes outside the window to the moving buildings and streets. “It’s not like I’m going to keep you in for so long. After I settle things down I’ll kick you out you brat! I just want to keep you safe for now.” Hand squeezed Jimin’s while he talked back to his friend, thumb rubbed his skin gently just in case he doesn’t get mad at the youngest. 

When they arrived Jungkook buried himself in Yoongi’s room as usual, laid on bed and stared at nothing but the sky outside the window. It was going to rain and he knew when he watched the clouds getting darker with every minute passed. Drop by drop were falling down from the sky to hit the glass of the window, they would slide down and gather to do a big pool on the ground. Jungkook knew if he stayed around Yoongi more he’ll like him even more, he won’t be able to resist his hands from grabbing him and touching him like before. Even though he was glad the two of them made up after two days, he was feelings bad deep in his head, if he only was helpful for once to Yoongi, that thought never left his mind at all. 

Jimin let the older among them to rest his head on his shoulder when they sat down on the couch. The warmth surrounded them again, Yoongi felt his sickness leaving him the more he stayed around his man, the younger was his cure and medicine. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if you never appeared in my life you know . . I wish if I knew you sooner, I wish if I was there when you were born to kidnap you and keep you for myself since the day you opened your eyes to this world.” The words were sweet enough to melt the boxer’s heart, his arms never stopped from pulling Yoongi closer and squeeze him in his embrace. “Your as sweet as ever man.” He planted one last soft kiss on the former’s temple before Jimin lifted him in his arms all the way to his room.

“You have to rest now.” But Yoongi didn’t want that still, when his feet touched the ground again he walked toward the bathroom to wash his warm face and hands. “Don’t I have to cook dinner for us?” He wondered out loud the moment he felt the cold pure liquid showers his palms. “You don’t have to. I’ll order something later.” Jimin stood there, staring at his man washing his face, watched him take deep breathes, and watched him staring back at his reflection blankly. He completely knew what Yoongi was thinking, completely aware that he was staring back at his black circles around his eyes, how his pale skin looked tired from the previous days. “Don’t move and tell me what are you looking at.” Yoongi gulped hard the moment he heard his man’s voice, his eyes never dropped from his own reflection. 

“What I see . .” The elder wanted to shut his eyes all of a sudden but they couldn’t, his own reflection was getting messy with every second passed, his face was confused whether it should settle on black or blank or his real face features. When he wanted to turn away, in a blink of an eye Jimin grabbed him from behind, just like how one of his illusions was. “Tell me.” Two words echoed in his ears gaining nothing but low whimpers from Yoongi. “I-I see you . . holding a faceless m-me. .” The sound of the elder’s voice was trembling the more he spoke about it out loud. “No that’s not you. Look carefully at the mirror, you’ll see me holding a very beautiful young man.” Jimin tightened his arms around his man, watched his worried face carefully in the mirror and his face expressions changing from worse to better and better to worse. 

Yoongi tried to focus more, his illusions were still in a chaos, until he convinced himself with words in his inner. His face was getting clear, his eyes and small nose, his pink lips and Jimin’s face beside his. They were in one reflection, him and Jimin, beautifully standing there together, arms around him, eyes looking at him with sparkles filled with love. “I-I see you and me.” His lips were curving into a beautiful smile when he finally looked at his proper face on the mirror. “I see us, Jimin.” His tone was quivering from excitement. “Beautiful us, right?” Jimin asked, watched how his man nodded his head several times before he turned and wrapped his arms around his man tight. “Yes! Beautiful us!” When Yoongi finally said it back, Jimin lifted him slightly from the ground and spun him happily.


	37. Murderer

“No no no no no . . hold on! I’m not going in now!” 

Yoongi was gripping into Jimin’s sleeve, tight enough to rip it with his fingers. His feet were scrubbing against the ground as he wanted to go back home. It was his debut, his first time inside a ring to fight a stranger he doesn’t know, a boxer who will beat the shit out of him if he made a wrong move. “Yoongi come on, don’t be like this. No one is going to bite you. We’re going to be late if you kept acting like this.” The wrestler rolled his eyes when Yoongi shook his head for the thousand time that day, he was dragging him since the morning, since the minute he told him to get ready to leave the apartment. “I’m going to stay by your side, I promise. Let’s go.” Jimin intertwined their fingers, leaned to peck the pink lips as he dragged his boy toward the ring. Before the elder was able to change, Jimin showed him the ring, told him few words about it as he wanted to laugh from time to time at his man. 

“Are you nervous?” Jungkook asked when he throw himself at a bench in the changing room, watched how Yoongi refused to take off his shirt and stayed in his tank top behind his man. “I am yeah . . hell! What if I died there!” The elder among them wrapped his arms around Jimin after he shoved his hands in his red gloves. “You’re not going to die, don’t act this way now.” The former rolled his eyes one more time, turned toward his man as he cupped his cheeks between his soft palms. “Listen, I’ll be there watching you, after every round, I’ll talk to you during the fight. Don’t be scared, no one is going to eat you. Now give me a nice punch.” He lifted his hand beside his head to feel a slight punch from the elder. “Alright!” Yoongi took a deep breath, cupped his own cheeks with his gloves as he took another breath. 

Min Yoongi became stronger, not just physically, but mentally as well. His inner was strong enough to know what he should do from now on in his life, and that was all thanks to his boyfriend who never let go of his hand since they day they met. All the way to the ring his shivers never left him alone, his bottom lip with bitten enough to swell the softness of the pinkish layer. The moment his eyes wandered toward the thick white ropes, he nudged his boyfriend. “What is it now?” Jimin smiled warmly, knowing completely it was the right moment to be there for his man. “I-I just wanted to give you one last punch on your palm before I go there.” After a quick punch, he entered the ring from between the thick ropes as he clenched his fists from the whole nerves he felt. 

For one last time he turned to look at Jimin’s smiling face, lifting his fist beside his head mouthing ‘fighting’ at him. It was a new feeling creeping in him, from head to toe he felt new kind of shivers eating his flesh. The way his feet stood on the white platform of the ring made him wonder how tough it was. The way he stood at a corner allowed his eyes to wander all over the square ring, he imagined himself in Jimin’s place. If Jimin felt that way when he stood on the ring for the first time then it was awful, because all Yoongi was feeling the thoughts of himself being knocked down by his opponent. Everything surrounded him was new, the ring felt different from the one they had in their apartment, his fists were getting sweaty under the wraps and gloves. When his eyes met his opponent he felt like stepping down from the ring right away. 

How was he going to punch first? What kind of pose he should make? How is he going to defend himself? Whatever Jimin taught him and showed him disappeared completely from his mind. All he had to do was go on with his own skills. Jungkook was sitting on one of the front seats, admiring how the elder looked on the ring. When the opponent finally looked at Yoongi, slight laugh of sarcasm escaped him, why? Because compared to him Yoongi looked small, even if he grew some muscles and became stronger he still looked small, but that doesn’t mean he was weak. The moment the match started he couldn’t move at all as he felt his limbs froze. What was he supposed to do now? His opponent was approaching him like a lion who found its prey. If the man in front of him was sending shivers under his skin, what if he faced Jooheon like this? Yoongi wondered before he slipped on leg down and avoided one punch that wanted to bruise his face. 

“Nice start!” He heard Jimin’s voice down the ring, clapping his hands as he cheered there. Yoongi found himself avoiding punches without taking a move toward his opponent at all. His gloved fists would protect his jawlines and face as he received few punches from the former. “Yoongi come on take your move! Punch him!” Jimin scratched the back of his head as he bit his cherry lower lip, he was filled with enthusiasm to watch his man finally fighting in the ring. “Hyung! Beat him!” Jungkook yelled from his seat, lifting a high fist up in the air. The two friends were giving Yoongi enough energy to jump on his opponent and knock him down with one punch. 

Yoongi was still unaware of his surrenders, he was scared to throw his first punch. When his opponent took one step back, Jimin’s voice echoed in his ears again. “Jab, jab, jab, jab!” And when he threw his first jab, Jungkook jumped from his seat to clap happily. It was hard for Yoongi, even if it was his first fight and his opponent was kind of easy to be knocked down. “That’s my boy!” Jimin shouted between the loud voices of the cheers, his palms touched the surface of the platform as he focused on his man’s moves. “His head Yoongi! Knock him down already!” He never stopped cheering his boyfriend until he watched the opponent on the platform not being able to get up after a hard punch he received from Yoongi. 

“He fucking did it!!” Jungkook jerked from his seat, rushed toward the ring as he accompanied his friend to pull panting Yoongi down from the ring. No words escaped the elder when he wrapped his around Jimin’s neck tight, wrapped his legs around the former’s torso when he was lifted from the ground. “I-I-I won my first fight!” For some reason he couldn’t believe it, he thought he would be defeated in front of people in that crowd and throw whatever Jimin taught his all that time away, but there he was tearing from joy in his man’s arms. “Yes! You’re my perfect boy! You did it!” The younger chuckled against Yoongi’s shoulder, felt extra arms around them as he watched Jungkook’s face smiling in front of him but behind Yoongi’s back. “Hyung that was unexpected!” The youngest rubbed his cheek against the elder’s back with huge grin on his face, feeling proud of his hyung. 

The bruises on Yoongi’s body weren’t as bad as Jimin expected, they were light on his pale skin as he was able to move freely. In the changing room he took a deep breath before he tossed his tank top aside to get rip of the sticking sweaty smell. When he buried himself in his new clean shirt he irrigated his throat with cold water to feel the refreshing liquid and feel alive again. “I need to use the restroom.” Yoongi excused himself to leave the changing room before they go back to their apartment. The restroom was at the end of the hallway, when he entered it was empty and quiet, except the echoes of his own sneakers stumbling on the ground. The water in the sink was opened as he splashed some on his face. The beads of sweat dropped down along the drops of the water on the sink. 

It was normally for the door to open and close when he didn’t notice at all but heard the sounds, hundreds of people were in the same place and anyone can use the public restroom he was in. Nothing else was heard after when he closed the water but slight breathes by the door. The person was leaning against the white door of the bathroom with dead silence. Yoongi never minded anything at all, he grabbed some tissues to wipe his face and throw them away in the trash. When he was about to leave, he took few steps back instead of leaving the whole place to go back to his boyfriend and Jungkook. The familiar face he hadn’t saw for quite time; the same small cold eyes was staring at him with darkness filling the whole restroom. “Hey there.” The same deep voice he hated the most was echoing in his ears, eyes watched how Jooheon’s hand was lifted all the way beside his face to wave at his ex-boyfriend. 

“W-What are you doing here?” Yoongi was direct. Out of all the places he wondered how Jooheon knew it was his debut day to start his boxing journey to reach the top and beat him. “That match wasn’t bad.” The younger among the two approached without swaying left or right all the way to Yoongi, enjoying the way the former was moving backward till his back hit the hard wall. “I thought you hated boxing, Yoongi, Right?” The more he spoke the more Yoongi wanted to shout and push him away. The fear was less than any previous time, his heart was strong enough to face Jooheon now and toss the fear completely aside, the real things started to happen between the two. “This has nothing to do with you, murderer.” The name hit Jooheon’s chest right away, making him furrow his brows. 

“Murderer? Oh really now sweetie, I just wanted to tell you how was your match but you’re hard to deal with as your usual self huh?” The taller rested one forearm above Yoongi’s head, breathes brushed the vain soft hair of the former’s. “Y-You killed Minhyuk.” The pale guy whimpered when the wall was punched above his head. “Don’t you dare mention his name again! He’s fucking gone!” The sound of Jooheon’s clenched teeth was clearly heard, he dropped his hands to the either side of the former’s body as he pressed him against the wall. “This is just your beginning, wait till I face you in the ring and beat the shit out of you. Oh and I’ll set a date for this specially. I’ll show the world how horrible out relationship turned young boy.” He pulled himself away from the pale guy, turned his feet away and left the restroom. “Bye.” Yoongi heard the last word before he clenched on his shirt tight. 

Jooheon followed him, even to his first fight, followed him to somewhere he didn’t expect to see him. For how long did he watch over him? The question was since when? Yoongi never stopped thinking, even when Jungkook came to look for him because he took so long. On the way back home, he dozed off a lot, not paying attention to what Jungkook was saying about having a small party to celebrate Yoongi’s first win. “Should we go to the hospital for a check up?” The moment his boyfriend spoke, he snapped from his thoughts to turn his head toward him. “Hospital? Why I’m completely fine.” He replied as he grabbed his man’s hand. “I don’t know you’re not listening to us I thought maybe you are dizzy or something.” When Yoongi shook his head, Jimin wandered his eyes from time to time to look at him, at his worried face and furrowed brows.


	38. No worries

He was laying on his crumbled sheets on his side, eyes wandering on the gun resting beside him on the same pillow. Nothing was erased from his head. The way he watched how Minhyuk’s face was fighting over the bullet that breakthrough his body, the way he was hearing his voice to stop him. Minhyuk was trying to push some sense into Jooheon’s head but the former was still in his own world. When Yoongi left him, he had Minhyuk around him, even though he was using him but nothing was straight in its place around him. The dead guy kissed him, slept with him several times, confessed to him but Jooheon was crazy over Yoongi. Now that he thought about it, he was crazy for being selfish to get Yoongi back in his life even though he was already with someone else, happy without him being around.

Jooheon knew he mess things, knew his true self completely. For some reason he was regretting everything he did to the poor guy, Minhyuk, he wanted to bring him back to life, to push his soul back in his dead body and pull him into his arms. Everything was too late, all the things he realized was late, Minhyuk’s presence as well. There was no reason the kill the poor guy. The more he thought about it it, the more he pulled his hair from his head with lack of gentleness. The more Minhyuk’s voice echoed in his ears he wanted to scream. Jooheon felt weak in his inner, he was fighting with every action he took but appeared strong from the outside. His strong self was nothing but fake, to show people how nothing mattered to him. Around his room his eyes wandered, remembering how Minhyuk would sit at the edge of his bed and talk all night, remembered how he used to lecture him and told him to give up on Yoongi because no matter how many times he tried he won’t get him in his arms at all.

Not a single night passed when he didn’t stop thinking about Minhyuk. It was driving him insane. Regret fills him from head to toe. When he lost him, he knew the value of him being in his life. But what can he do now? Minhyuk was gone, and he’s all alone in a cold house surrounded by nothing but walls and silence. The pillows beside him were tossed aside, the lamps on the nightstands were thrown on the ground. Everything in his room turned upside down. On the ground his knees dropped along the streaming tears on his face. “You’re such a fucking bastard!! Asshole! Rotten guy! How could you do this!” He was yelling at his own soul, frustrated from his self after he realized how black his soul was. His forehead touched the cold floor when he clenched on his shirt, hit his chest the next second, wished for the painful feelings to vanish from there.

When he watched Yoongi’s first fight, weird feelings filled his chest. The weak pale guy was showing his strength, at the same time the look in his eyes weren’t soft as they used to be. And when Yoongi called him murderer for killing Minhyuk, nothing scratched his inner organs but the sharpness in Yoongi’s voice along with his memories.

On his side he turned on the floor, eyes staring at the mess he did there with blurry gaze. All he realized that he was losing people in his life. First, Min Yoongi. Second, Lee Minhyuk. He wondered who was the next person he is going to lose soon. Hyungwon? Or maybe Changkyun. Even their friends would get tired of him sooner or later. The sound of the loneliness was ringing in his ears, shouting at him as he grabbed his head with his both hands. When his eyes looked at his phone laying on the ground, he didn’t stop himself from grabbing it. Through the pictures he had, he flipped his finger, looked at Yoongi’s picture when they were in their earliest relationship. The way the elder was trying to cover his face in a cute way. The way he looked beautiful in his sleep. The way he buried his face on Jooheon’s neck to hide his face again and avoid pictures. Jooheon missed it all, he didn’t know when was the last time he watched Yoongi’s smile, didn’t know when was the last time he heard his laugh.

When he thought about it, he was the reason to pull Yoongi down. He was the reason for the gummy smile to disappear from the elder’s face. Because of Jooheon’s shitty way of taking actions toward the former, the way he treated him, the way he tossed him aside and pushed him away. Minhyuk and Yoongi never left his head, the guilt was nibbling on his heart until it bled. For one last time he looked through his contacts, for the familiar name, and when he found it he didn’t stop himself from calling the number.

 

✧✧

 

Yoongi was laying on his tummy on the couch, eyes staring at nothing but the black screen of the closed TV. Where was he? He was in a different world, thinking and wondering. Jungkook was busy in the kitchen while Jimin went out to the grocery store. ‘This is just your beginning, wait till I face you in the ring and beat the shit out of you. Oh and I’ll set a date for this specially. I’ll show the world how horrible out relationship turned young boy.’ Jooheon’s voice was ringing in Yoongi’s ears clearly, as if he was right above him talking to him. How strong Jooheon would be in the ring? How strong he would be to knock Yoongi down with one punch? The elder questioned himself, bit his lower lip the moment he felt shivers underneath his skin. “What should I do?” He muttered under his breath, sighed deeply as he closed his eyes suavely.

The sound of the boiling soup was heard from the kitchen, knife chopping, fried food. The smell was filling Yoongi’s nose. He wanted to help Jungkook, but since they were alone in the apartment without Jimin he didn’t want to approach. His eyes never opened until he felt his phone vibrating on the couch right next to his head. He thought Jimin was the one calling but when his eyes reflected the familiar name his heart burst out of his chest from the shivers he felt under his skin. Confusion was showing on his face the moment he read Jooheon’s name. Why was he calling Yoongi? The elder wondered in his inner before he declined the call and laid his head back on the couch. “What do you want from me. .” He asked Jooheon in his inner with a sigh.

The sound of the main door of the apartment was heard as Yoongi captured the sound of the plastic bags in Jimin’s hands dropping down on the dining table. Weight on the elder made him curse under his breath. “Hey baby I’m back.” The younger chuckled in Yoongi’s ears before he planted soft kisses on his nape and shoulders. “I got you this.” Jimin pulled out some candies as he watched the huge grin on Yoongi’s face. When he lifted his weight, the elder didn’t stop his hand from shoving one candy in his mouth right away. “Thanks!” The elder said excitedly, rolling the candy in his mouth as he tasted the cherry taste mixing with his saliva. He crossed his legs on the couch facing his man with a huge smile. “What were you thinking about? You seemed in another world when I came.” Jimin wondered before he pulled out one candy as well.

“Nothing important really.” The younger hummed as response, asked about Jungkook and sighed when he was told his friend was in the kitchen preparing dinner. “Tomorrow Kook is insisting to make a small party for you. . you know your first win.” He spoke with eyes glued on the sleepy ones.

“I know. He said it several times already.” Yoongi chuckled sweetly before he felt a peck on his pink lips. When he chuckled again, Jimin found himself pinned down on the couch as the former hovered over him, crashing their lips on a passionate kiss that tasted like cherry. Their smiles never left their faces, they were feeling every move of each other. The way their teeth collided, the way their hands looked for each other to intertwine their fingers, the way Yoongi pushed himself down to feel Jimin’s body against his, they were in a sweet moment for a moment before Yoongi’s phone started to vibrate again, grabbing their attention. The elder furrowed his brows between their kiss, tilted his head to the other side as he felt Jimin’s warm tongue tangled with his.

Yoongi’s phone never stopped vibrating, it was distracting Jimin while he was trying to feel his man’s sloppy kisses. “Ah damn your phone.” The younger spoke when he pulled back for some fresh air, leaned into Yoongi’s touches on his cheeks. “Leave it.” Yoongi cursed Jooheon in his inner, because he knew no one burned his phone but him. To keep Jimin in his place, he leaned down to plant kisses on the younger’s neck. In a second he found himself pinned down on the couch when the wrestler pushed him down hovering over him instead. “Ew gross!!” Jungkook rolled his eyes as he showed some disgust on his face when he came out from the kitchen and watched the former two making out on the couch. “Stop doing this when I’m around! Or I’m going to leave your dirty apartment!” He grabbed cushions and threw them at the two without hesitation.

Jimin never stopped. Once his hands lay on Yoongi he can’t take them off of his beautiful boy. To finish the youngest easily, he lifted his middle finger up in the air at him without giving Yoongi a single chance to catch his breath. The elder’s arms around his neck reminded him about the wonderful feelings they were enjoying together, until he heard and felt Yoongi’s phone again. “Fuck this!” Jimin cursed when he pulled back, grabbed the former’s phone when he wanted to mute it just to be frozen by the familiar name on the screen. “I’m sorry .. Just ignore it.” The elder panicked the moment he lifted his back from the couch, still under Jimin. The way his man’s face turned upside down from softness to anger, he gulped hard with hands climbing on Jimin’s chest. “Why the fuck is he calling you? What does he want?” The wrestler asked as he felt the vibration in his hand.

“I don’t know just leave it Min-” Yoongi was slow to pull his phone back, the former already answered the call and placed the phone on his ear to speak. “Fuck you!” The elder mouthed as he smacked the younger’s chest with his fist.

“Yoongi . .” Jooheon’s voice rang in Jimin’s ear as he eyed the elder with straight face. “I don’t want you to stay quiet can we talk?”

Silence.

Silence was the only thing Jooheon heard. The former two were starting at each other with cold eyes. “Yoongi. I still didn’t finish what I wanted to say back then after your match, so please let’s talk while I’m asking nicely.” Jimin was still quiet as he heard every letter, leaving the elder so confused in front of him. For seconds the lovely feelings melted down his body like ice, weirdness dictated him instead from head to toe. “What do you want?” The younger’s voice was cold enough to send shivers underneath Yoongi’s skin. “Or let me ask you first. Why are you calling someone who kicked you out of their life completely?” The elder bit his lower lip when he cursed under his breath, grabbed his head with furrowed brows.

“Let me talk to Yoongi, Jimin.”

“Never! You’re nothing but a burden. I don’t think Yoongi wants to talk to you.”

“Jimin please . . I’m not in the mood for you now.” Jooheon sounded so weak, along with his voice.

“Just like how I’m not in the mood for you. Listen Jooheon, I can hurt you. You took something important from me and I’m not leaving you still. I’ll take my revenge as well, just keep that in mind. Oh and Yoongi, he just asked me to fuck him so I’m busy giving him love. I hope you don’t interrupt again. And if I ever see your name on his screen again, prepare your self to leave this world, Jooheon.” Yoongi did nothing but hit the former’s chest several times, punch after another until his wrists were grabbed with one strong hand to stop. Jooheon couldn’t speak anymore when Jimin hung up the call and tossed the phone on the carpet. “Why the fuck did you answer! Why the hell did you do this!” Yoongi struggled to free his fists until he was allowed to punch Jimin’s chest again.

“You stupid why did you do this!!! I was trying my hardest to ignore him at all costs! I never wanted to cross a single path with him in my life! Why did you answer his call!” The hits were steady until he watched the redness on Jimin’s exposed neck. His smiley cold eyes were steady on his, staring at him. “Get off me.” Yoongi pushed the former slightly off of him as he stood on his feet, was about to leave the living room when his arm was grabbed, his chest collided with Jimin’s along with their foreheads. “When was the last time you met him?” When he heard the tone in Jimin’s voice, he couldn’t stop his fists from clenching on his shirt. The wrestler’s tone was freezing him in his place, telling him to face his boyfriend and talk to him instead of running away.

“Jimin. .”

“Baby tell me . .” The younger closed his eyes. To suppress his anger he leaned closer to speak against Yoongi’s lips. “When was that?” They felt the softness of their lips again before Yoongi pulled back. “It was . . It was when-

“After your fight. And what did he say?” The younger’s brows changed to sadness. He was worried, at the same time he was scared something bad happened to his boy. When he felt Yoongi’s arms wrap around his neck, he buried his face on the crook of the pale neck. “Did he hurt you? Did he touch you or harm you?” The air in the living room turned tense all of a sudden, at the same time filled with worries and nervousness. The pale guy shook his head hastily, clenched on the back of Jimin’s shirt tight. “He didn’t . . Jimin he didn’t. Don’t worry this much.” Yoongi didn’t know whether to let go of his man or just speak up right away and tell Jimin the truth.


	39. Yoongi's friend

“It’s okay just tell me. Jooheon already spat it in the phone.”

“I met him after my match . . When I left to the toilet he followed me I guess.” 

“What did he say?” 

“He just . . he just said he wanted to set a date for my match with him even though I’m still just a beginner compared to him though.” Yoongi was biting his lips while talking to his boyfriend. They were sitting on the couch when Jimin never stopped asking him as he wanted to let the words out of Yoongi. “And when you came back why didn’t you tell me?” The younger among the two wondered out loud. To soothe his man, he grabbed his hand to intertwine their fingers together and tell him how he was going to be okay if he talked more. “I thought maybe it’s not something important to say. I don’t care about him.” Yoongi gulped with eyes staring down at his lap. Silence was followed next until Jimin let out a deep sigh. 

“Alright, I got it. I don’t think it’s okay for me to get mad at you now, right?” The wrestler forced a smile to warm Yoongi’s heart. After sitting there for minutes, Jungkook called them to have the fancy dinner he made. The dining table was neatly organized. Plates filled with food aligned next to each other perfectly. Glasses were placed there next to the chopsticks and spoons. The youngest made steaks and salad, French fries at the side. “This looks good.” The elder said excitedly, couldn’t wait to sit on his chair and shove the first piece of meat in his mouth. “Oh~ our Kook can cook fancy food!” Jimin chuckled as he smacked the youngest back playfully. “Stop it the two of you. Just sit and eat!” Jungkook demanded. The sound of the chairs rubbing against the floor when they pulled it back to sit was heard clearly. 

“Yoongi hyung.” The youngest called the pale guy as he met his eyes across of him around the table. Jimin looked at the both of them with anticipation to listen to what his friend had to say. “What is it?” Yoongi asked, his pale fingers grabbed the knife and the fork to cut his first piece of meat. “Do you have any friends?” The question stopped the former for seconds. For some reason it was weird to hear such question from anyone he ever met. “Hey! Do you think Yoongi is a loner. Of course he has friends,” Jimin looked at Yoongi before he continued “Right?”. With a nod, the elder replied to them, wrapped his fingers around his cold glass to irrigate his throat with beer. “How come you never mentioned any of them?” The wrestler questioned himself at the same time he asked his man next to him. 

“Because I only have one friend.” 

Jungkook stared at Yoongi for quiet time, making the former uncomfortable sitting around the table eating with the two friends. “Aye bastard!” Jimin shouted all of a sudden, watched how Yoongi tensed in his seat from the corner of his eyes. With a strong kick, he kicked Jungkook under the table to get his attention instead of staring at his boyfriend. “The food is on the table not on Yoongi’s face.” The wrestler rolled his eyes when Jungkook stuck his tongue out to tease. “This is delicious.” The deep voice spoke when the two friends were sharing glares. “As long as Yoongi hyung liked it! I’m happy!” The words never pushed a smile on the elder’s face as he felt uncomfortable at all. Even if Jungkook was pretending to act normal but Yoongi didn’t like it, he still felt tense sometimes when the youngest was around, even though he told himself he should pretend as if nothing happened before too. 

“So hyung! Why don’t you invite your friend tomorrow? We’re celebrating your first win.” 

“Who told you that I want a celebration for that. I’m fine.” Yoongi almost rolled his eyes before he shoves the last piece of meat in his mouth. 

“Hey come on. Don’t be that cold. I prepared everything already. All you have to do is get ready tomorrow, it’s going to be here not somewhere else I promise you.” 

“Yoongi . .” Jimin rubbed the elder’s back with his hand as he smiled his usual smile. “Invite your friend and let’s celebrate. We need some fun time after all don’t you think. Actually I would like to meet your one and only friend.” He pecked the pale cheek before he got up with his plates in his hands to take them to the sink. “I’ll get that as a yes.” The youngest followed his friend to throw his plates on the sink and run to Yoongi’s room. The kitchen turned silent when Jungkook left. The slow eater was still sipping on his beer with busy thoughts running left and right in his head. “He doesn’t even know about this boxing thing. I didn’t meet him in a long time.” The elder spoke, knew his words already rang in Jimin’s ears. 

“Then it would be a good opportunity for the both of you to meet. What’s his name anyway?” 

“Kim Taehyung.” Yoongi never hesitated to spit out his friend’s name. With a sigh he joined his boy at the sink to wash his plates. Jimin was drying and place the spoons and plates back in their right place inside the cabinets. “I’m worried.” The elder sighed as he shut the water and leaned his lower back against the sink. “About what Yoongi?” The younger smiled slightly, after he dried his hands he lifted his man in his arms with a chuckle. “There’s nothing to be worried about.” His veins in his arms were clearly seen along with his muscles. Yoongi was nothing but a feather in his grip, light as a bird. “I’m just worried about the match with Jooheon.” The elder sighed before he rested his head against Jimin’s. nothing was said until he was placed down on Jimin’s bed. His glossy sleepy eyes captured his man tossing his shirt aside to crawl next to him on bed shirtless. 

“I’m going to send him a message and our location.” Yoongi did what he said. His phone was placed on the nightstand on his left side before he took a deep breath. “Come here. .” Jimin almost whispered, his arms pulled the former on his bare chest as he planted a soft kiss on Yoongi’s forehead. “I want to cuddle with you all night.” Chuckles left the elder, his arms wrapped around the younger’s well built body to feel the deep warmth of his skin against his face and his exposed skin. “I love you.” Yoongi collided his lips with Jimin’s chest as he planted a kiss there. 

“I love you too, Yoongi.” Jimin whispered in the former’s ear, tightened his arms around his man to feel him more. “And don’t worry silly. It’s okay. It’s not like it’s going to happen soon anyway. You need to go though a lot of matches to reach Jooheon’s level though. Don’t think and sleep.” The words soothed Yoongi’s heart before he closed his eyes to rest them. 

The next morning they opened their eyes when Jungkook was being loud. In their room he barged in waking the both of them up. Even though Yoongi was the one who won but Jungkook was excited way more than him. “Fuck you Kook! Get out of here!” Jimin cursed out loud first thing in the morning as he grabbed the pillow under his head and threw it at his friend. Yoongi rubbed his eyes with a loud sigh. The bathroom was waiting for him to take his shower and brush his teeth. With a towel around his waist and his head he unlocked his phone to see two missed calls from his friend Taehyung. From the corner of his eyes he watched his man still on bed, being lazy to get up for the new day. “Why did you shower without me?” The younger among the two sounded sleepy as he stretched on bed. 

“What do you want me to do when you’re being so lazy today?” Yoongi called his friend, with free hand drying his hair with the towel. Jimin sighed as he threw the blanket aside and hid behind the bathroom door. Silence was around Yoongi but the sound of the rings echoing in his ears. It was deep and calm at the same time, his friend’s voice when he answered his call. “Hey Yoongi!” A smile appeared on his face the moment he thought of his friends smile out there. 

“Hey Tae.” 

“I read your message though. I didn’t get it! Since when!”

“I’ll explain later. Just come later, I missed your company anyway.” After he hung up the call, he pulled out clothes from Jimin’s closet. To surround himself with the younger’s scent. With a quick glance at the mirror, he looked at himself one last time before he headed down the stairs to meet Jungkook smiling on the couch. “Good morning, hyung.” The younger got on his feet, all the way to Yoongi he walked with stretched arms to pull the former in his embrace for once. “Please hyung don’t push me away!” he was faster to speak before Yoongi pushes him away. “Hyung . . let me just hold you today, please. I was holding myself for the past days so just let me do this to you at least. I don’t want to feel any distance and awkwardness between us.” The elder didn’t say anything as he stayed still in the younger’s embrace, head buried on the taller’s chest. 

“Kook . .” Yoongi pulled himself back gently, gulped before he lifted his head slowly to look at the youngest’s big eyes. “If I let you do this . . every time will be the same. It’ll be the last to you but actually it won’t end. I don’t want you to hold me now but yes I can be with you like before. . you know friends, kinda.” A slight smile showed on the elder’s face as he walked toward the huge window, giving his back to the younger completely. “Hyung I’m sorry that I have feelings toward you.” He heard the younger’s low voice behind him so clear. It was totally wrong to hear it from someone who was there for you as a friend and spent such a long time to keep you happy. “Kook you don’t like me. Maybe it’s because we spent some time together but I don’t think you like me that way.” All Yoongi did was trying to make the younger understand their situation. Yoongi wasn’t free, he was already with Jungkook’s friend, and if Jungkook grew his feelings even more he might lose his friend, and it was something Yoongi never wanted since the both of them lost Minhyuk. 

“Hyung but- 

“What a serious talk is going on here.” Jimin cut the both of them when he walked down the stairs looking all fresh. His hair was well done, fringe lifted up from his forehead to show the flawless skin. The former two never spoke a word, Jungkook turned his feet to throw himself on the couch while Yoongi welcomed the hands on his body as he was held from behind. “Congrats.” The wrestler whispered in his ear as he planted a soft kiss on the pale temple before he made his way to the kitchen. Yoongi never stopped himself from following his man. For some reason he just wanted to stay by his side the whole day, whether it was his party or not. “Jooheon might get captured.” The words froze the former the moment he stepped in the kitchen, eyes glued on his man as his tongue tied. 

“Don’t be surprised. I’m sorry but he killed an innocent soul, for sure he will be arrested now or later. What he did is a crime.” Jimin’s voice was serious and cold, ignored the shocking expressions on his man’s face. At the right time, the bell of their apartment filled the whole place as it rang twice. When the two never moved from their spots, Jungkook got on his legs all the way to the door to open it just to meet a tall guy, the same height as his with a handsome face and soft fringe dancing on his forehead. The guy his eyes just met was no one but Yoongi’s friend. Kim Taehyung.


	40. I'll give myself to you

The candles were blown off when Yoongi blew some air. The four boys were in the living room surrounding the cake with warm smiles in their faces. Yoongi looked at the new boy to the place, Taehyung, his only friend as he hugged him one last time. “God Yoongi! Since when are you into boxing?” His friend asked surprisingly, rubbing his palms on the either side of Yoongi’s upper arms. “I told you it’s a long story.” The elder among them all turned to Jimin to grab his hand and pull him closer. “This is Jimin, my boyfriend. And this is Jungkook.” Yoongi introduced the both to his friend with cherry blossom paint in his cheeks. Whether it was a weird awkward feeling or it was a warm comfortable feeling, Yoongi didn’t know. All he knew that he felt complete. Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook around him at the same time in the same place warmed him, relaxed his heart as it beat tranquilly. 

“Pleased to meet the both of you.” Taehyung rubbed his nape with teeth biting his lower lip. The air around them was lively, no one was happy as much as Yoongi was. His heart was warm, his chest was relaxed, his mind was filled with nothing but the three around him, as if he was moved to another world. “Hey now tell me what does this all mean man?” Taehyung pulled Yoongi down on the couch as they settled next to each other. The quiet boy was suddenly into boxing and it surprised him to the point that he couldn’t believe it at all. Jimin left the two alone when he pulled Jungkook to the kitchen, crossed his arms when the younger chuckled as if he did nothing. “What did we say about being with Yoongi?” The older among the two asked with furrowed brows. “Hyung~” Jungkook whined “Come on now, I didn’t do anything to him. Plus, your boyfriend is stubborn. I was pushed away several times.” He rolled his eyes with hands resting on his hips. 

“Quit your actions Kook. I told you to give up on your feelings, what’s between us isn’t a joke. Don’t touch him, I’m warning you for the last time.” 

“And what if I didn’t stop?” The former smirked. 

“Then you’ll be kicked out from my place.” 

“Hyung, you are the one who brought me here to ‘protect’ me when I didn’t ask for it.” Jungkook chuckled sarcastically, pissing his friend off already. 

“How many times do you want me to repeat that I don’t want to lose you? And now you’re taking it as a funny joke!” The older closed the distance between them as he pushed his friend down on the dining table. “Listen Jungkook! I gave you my last warning. Don’t touch him, or I’m not forgiving you for the rest of your life do you hear me?” His strong fists clenched on the younger’s shirt as he pressed him more against the surface of the table. “These are just words, hyung. I might say I won’t but I might do it, I might grab him and who knows what’s going to happen.” The younger was boulder, with a quick move he pushed his friend off of him to attack him with his fist. 

Yoongi on the other side was enjoying his talks with his friend. Never noticed the long disappearance of his boyfriend and Jungkook. It had been a very long time since he spent some time with Taehyung, the cheerful guy who never stopped chuckling at whatever Yoongi was telling him and change his face into sad the next seconds. The whole story was told, the journey he walked with Jimin, from the day he met him, saw his face in the ring, from the day they met for the first time in the balcony, till the day he was sitting with Taehyung on the couch. Telling the whole story was touching Yoongi, he never realized how hard he lived till he heard his own words out loud. “So you’re living here with your boyfriend in this fancy apartment? Whoa . . he is rich I believe.” Taehyung looked around with parted lips before he felt thin arms wrap around his neck for who the hell knows that day. 

“I really missed you!” Yoongi admitted when he let go, smile never left his precious beautiful face. “I missed you as well-” The former stopped talking when he was cut by loud thuds and yells coming out from the kitchen. All this time, they were busy with each other and forgot the other two who left the living room. Jimin tried, and Jungkook said a lot. The elder jerked from his place, smile faded from his face immediately. Even his steps toward the kitchen waere heavy all of a sudden, as if everything turned on a slow motion. “You bastard!” They were the first words Yoongi heard when he spotted the two rolling each other to punch one another. “Jimin!” He cried his man’s name when he watched him punching Jungkook’s face. “Stop it! What are you doing!” With his strength he pulled his man away strongly, felt him struggle but Yoongi tightened his arms around him. 

“What the fuck is wrong with the both of you!” The elder almost yelled when he held Jimin still in his place. The former two were panting with silence, their heavy breathes replied to all the questions. The youngest never took his eyes off of Jimin’s, he was panting like a bull, ready to see the red fabric and gore with his horns. “You. .” he let out a soft voice before he wanders his eyes to meet Yoongi’s. “You! It’s you! And it’ll always be you. You’re asking what the fuck is happening when you know exactly why the both of us fight, hyung.” Jungkook was direct, throwing his words at Yoongi one after another without any thought. “You bastard!” Jimin snapped all of a sudden, wanted to free himself but Yoongi grabbed him tighter just in case no one gets hurt anymore. “Tae . . leave I’ll call you later.” The former looked at his friend one last time before he clenched on Jimin’s shirt. Without any single thought, Taehyung left the apartment with heavy chest. It was his first time in his friend’s apartment, yet he had to see all of this and hear whatever Jungkook spat. 

“I’m leaving as well! I’m not staying in this fucking filthy place.” Jungkook clenched his teeth as he walked past the both, rushing toward Yoongi’s room to pack his stuff in his suitcase. “Let me go. .” Jimin breathed with fists clenching tight beside his body. “Yoongi let go!” He almost yelled, struggled a bit more and stopped when his elbow accidentally smacked Yoongi’s face. “Why would I let you go when you want to fight more!” The elder snapped all of a sudden as he tightened his arms around his boyfriend. “That asshole is fucking dead!” The wrestler pushed his man’s arms aside, rushed to the younger’s side with one last smack on his cheekbone. One more time he was pulled away by Yoongi’s arms, dragging him out of the room. “Stop it will you!” Even though Jungkook’s words hit the pale guy deep inside, but the former ignored whatever he heard for a while until he calmed his boyfriend down. 

The youngest grabbed their attention when he left the room hastily. Just like a faded storm, he passed by the two with furrowed brows, suit case scrubbing against the floor. “Jungkook. .” The elder called him, wished if the former turned toward him with a soft look on his face, wished if he turned after he calmed down, but what he never expected was right in front of him. Jungkook was angry, his eyes were filled with flames that reached his eyebrows. “Don’t fucking call my name Min Yoongi! I’m leaving and don’t hold me back! The more I stay here the more I mess things upside down. The more I stay the more I love you more, hyung. I don’t want to get between the two of you anymore. You gave me pain and he did as well. I’ll come back when my feelings are dead. .” The last words were low after the yells. Without anymore word Jungkook turned his feet away as he hid behind the main door of the apartment. 

Silence was in the air, nothing was heard but Jimin’s heavy breathes from struggling. “W-What happened . . did you fight over me again?” Yoongi wished if the answer was no, wished if Jimin replied with a different answer. “I’m sorry. .” The wrestler breathed, one hand covered his bruised face as he walked away, left some space for himself. To his room he headed quietly, fists loosing their clenches. The floor was tough when he bent down near his bed, head tilting to the back, resting on his comfy sheets. With a long sigh he closed his eyes suavely to see the previous memories on his closed eyelids. “I’m sorry I ruined such a day.” He almost whispered when he heard light footsteps in his room, knew no one came in but Min Yoongi. Slight thuds next to his body were felt, the elder bent down beside him, face turned toward his man with a pale face. 

“. . it’s not your fault.” Yoongi had no other choice but to stretch his arms and pull his man to his chest, pressed his head to his body and ran his long pale fingers through the black hair. “You know . . sometimes I just wonder if I’m here with you to cause you trouble or to be your life partner.” His words tied the younger’s tongue. Jimin didn’t know which one was the right, all he knew was that Yoongi is living in him, giving his heart the beats to live, filling him from head to toe. “You’re my everything, Yoongi. Since the day you walked in my like and I don’t know . . just don’t leave if you think about leaving without me. I know you pretty well and I can tell you’re thinking of running away from me just in case you don’t cause any more trouble. Stay!” The wrestler lifted his head from the former’s chest to look at the sleepy eyes, to look at the eyes that stopped his breaths. 

“. . I’m not going anywhere.” When Yoongi settled down on the floor, Jimin got up and left the room, came back after one minute with the familiar cake in his hand and two forks. “I know Jungkook isn’t here . . I still want to end this day with laughs coming out from you.” The younger’s eyes were down the whole face, with his fork he cut a piece of the cake and shove it in his mouth. “Don’t stare at me like this.” He spoke in a soft tone when he felt his man’s eyes steady on him, watching his bruised face and the crystal clear tears hanging on the corner’s of the emerald brown eyes. “. . idiot.” The elder breathed before he shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. “I’m sorry for smacking you.” Jimin caressed Yoongi’s swollen cheek gently, watched him wince as he sighed. 

“I’m fine.” The former leaned on the former’s soft touches, closed his eyes for seconds before he leaned to press his lips on Jimin’s forehead. “love you.” He whispered as he let go, wanted to leave when he was pulled closer to his man. “Love you too.” Jimin whispered back, leaned to feel the familiar pink lips but Yoongi turned his face to the side, rejecting something precious that had a value to the both of them. “Goodnight.” The elder breathed before he got on his feet, left the room to his own room that he didn’t sleep in for months now. 

“He’s not okay. .” Jimin scratched his head with sorrow filling his eyes. After what Jungkook said, after their fight, Yoongi probably won’t feel comfortable anymore.


	41. Far but close

Jungkook rolled his eyes the moment he left Jimin’s apartment. It was so childish of him to act the way he acted, the way he spat the words on Yoongi, the way he ignored everything and left the place with stubborn head. His suitcase scrubbing against the floor was echoing in the whole hallway. The elevator’s door opened to the ground floor as he cussed under his breath. It was raining, the sound of the raindrops hitting the soaking ground was ringing in his ears. “Great!” He breathed when he stood there still staring at the pouring rain as if he was defeated. “It smells nice, doesn’t it?” Deep voice on his right got his attention as he turned his head toward source of the voice. A familiar face he met earlier inside the apartment. Kim Taehyung. 

“What?” Jungkook rose one eyebrow out of confusion, crossed his arms against his chest. “The rain. It smells nice.” Taehyung pushed a slight smile before he shoved his brunette big hands in his jeans pockets. “I don’t think it smells nice. It’s bad.” The younger among the two rolled his eyes with a sigh. Taehyung said nothing for awhile. The both just stood there staring at nothing but the huge falling drops, listened the wind blowing by to mess the aligned drops. “Do you like Yoongi?” The older looked at Jungkook from the corner of his eyes, thought he was nosy but the younger answered him right away. “Not anymore.” Jungkook turned his head to the other side, ignoring the former completely. “Hyung is someone I can’t have even if I tried my best, even if I tried my hardest.” The younger breathed as he grabbed his suitcase and started to take his first steps under the pouring rain. 

“Hey Jungkook!” Taehyung followed, managed to sync his footsteps with the former. “Shall we go for some noodles to warm ourselves?” He suggested, watched the furrowed brows of the former as he expected his offer to be rejected but when Jungkook nodded his head he smiled. Taehyung was Jungkook’s height but a bit thinner. They jogged to the nearest restaurant to avoid getting soaked. After they took their seats Taehyung ordered two noodles, because Jungkook did nothing but looked around him. “But I didn’t ask you . . why did you leave? I thought you live with them.” The older intertwined his own fingers as he rested his chin on the back of his hand. “Didn’t you see the fight? I can’t stay there any longer, I’m going back home. But I’m really surprised that Yoongi has a friend.” Jungkook leaned his back against his chair as he spoke. 

“I don’t have to ask you why. Yoongi isn’t that social but he’s quiet interesting when you get to know him. We have been friends since a very long time and I’m aware of his quietness. Yoongi barely choose people he wants in his life. I would say, you and Jimin are special, he chose the both of you among all the other people.” Taehyung pushed another smile when his eyes met the dark ones across him while he talked. Jungkook wanted to speak, and when he parted his baby pink lips to let some words out, two bowls of noodles were placed on their table. The steam of the hot noodles was in the air between the both of them, without any more words Taehyung pulled his bowl closer as he started to blow in his bowl. “So is your house near? ‘Cause you said you’re going back home.” The older among the two asked after they ate as he got up, headed toward the door followed by the younger.


	42. It's more beautiful when you smile

It was a quiet chilly night when Yoongi heard low noise by his room door, as if mice were whispering that they finally found the food. The sound of a plastic bag rang in his ears with confusion. His small head tilted on the side when his eyes captured shadow vanishing from under the door. 

The window was open, the room had a nice fresh breeze as he inhaled a huge amount of air. Since the fight with Jungkook and he never spoke with Jimin, never sat in the same place with him unless they had to eat. Yoongi would stay quiet around the table until he finishes his meal, and when Jimin tried to speak, he would get up and leave the younger alone. It had been a week, and he knew Jimin won’t stay still at all. Whether he would take his fist move or speak to him at that instance. The pale guy stood still in the room before he blinked several times, walked slowly and quietly toward the door to check if there were really mice there or not. His pale fingers touched the doorknob as he twisted it, opened the door slightly to peek outside. The dark eyes closed when he smiled, instead of mice he found a small wrapped candy. 

“Wat is this.” He wondered in his inner when he looked at other candies one after another, telling him to walk all the way somewhere in the house. Yoongi couldn’t stop his chuckle when he realized the mice were Park Jimin! The younger in the end would do anything to grab Yoongi’s attention. The candies were leading toward the training room; it was only few steps away. But inside the room the candies were still in a perfect line guiding him toward the middle of the ring where he found lots of candies laying there. “Jimin are you around . .?” He wondered, felt a bit weird since they didn’t talk for quite time. It was the first line he said after he left Jimin’s room that night. Under the candies there was something, he looked around him again for the younger but he was out of sight. Yoongi pulled out whatever his hand touched under the candies and looked at it with surprise. Two flight tickets to Japan. 

“You got them.” He turned around the moment he heard the familiar voice, standing by the training room door, one shoulder resting on the frame, arms crossed against his chest. “What do you say? Since you don’t want to talk, maybe we’ll make up in that trip yeah?” Jimin tried to smile a bit, but the expression Yoongi showed on his face stopped him. Yoongi looked down at the tickets in his hands then up again at his boyfriend. “Jimin I don’t know . . I-I-” he stopped when Jimin took his breath away when he approached, closing the distance as much as he can. “It’s going to be winter soon, do you know what does that mean?” The wrestler let himself in from between the thick ropes to meet the sleepy dark eyes. “If it snows . .” He paused, tried to touch the former’s hips to pull him closer gently. “I want to kiss you . . and if it snows it’s out anniversary. A whole year with you, day after day you take my breath away. All I knew is that I want to give you love more and more every night, I want you by my side no matter how many times we fight. Because Yoongi you’re the one. The one I want to share everything with. The one who take all over me. The one who I see my future with . . please will you go to Japan with me? ‘Cause I want to spend our anniversary away from everyone. Just me and you.” 

Jimin gulped hard when he finished, took a deep breath and never took his eyes off of the elder’s. “I don’t deserve you. .” he stayed still in his place for seconds when he heard the whispered words. The tickets slapped his chest when Yoongi gave them back, left the training room with a straight face. “Stop!” Jimin won’t let him go, not at that moment. He followed him to the living room as he grabbed his wrist, turned him to face him again, grabbed his lower back and pulled him closer just in case he doesn’t run away. “What do you mean you don’t deserve me, huh?” He shut his eyes tight for seconds to suppress his anger and looked at Yoongi one more time. “Y-You’re too good for me and I don’t know . . I don’t deserve this Jimin! Not a single thing you did to me, not what you’re planning!” The elder freed himself to let his shouts out. 

“Who the fuck do you want me to do all of this to if it’s not you! You deserve more than this! And I feel like I’m not doing enough for you. I don’t want to feel you distant from me, it kills me . . the previous days I tried my best to hold myself. I thought you needed some time for yourself and I gave you that. I thought maybe you needed some time without me and I granted that for you. But that doesn’t mean you’ll push me away, it doesn’t mean ‘Yoongi it’s time for you to leave’.” With every more word Jimin found his gaze getting blurry from the tears in his eyes, he turned away from the former, giving him his back to wipe his tears away. “I just said you’re the one for me . . and I know I’m what you’re looking for. So don’t lie about being too good for you and you don’t deserve me. Admit it already that you love it and you want me just as much as I wany you.” His voice was trembling, his hands were shaking and his whole body was quivering. 

When he felt the familiar arms wrap around his torso tight from behind, he couldn’t stop the river of tears from flooding on his cheeks. “It’s like as if you’re not giving a damn about what we have.” And he kept letting everything out of his chest. Yoongi’s ears caught every single one. He wanted to talk, to say something to all those words but nothing came out. His fists gripped tight on the younger’s shirt, telling him to stop his tears with his actions. “I love you so much . . and I’m aware of what we have. It’s not like I was going to toss it aside.” Yoongi finally spoke a little, leaned in closer to plant kisses on the younger’s nape. “I love you.” He repeated, felt hands on top of his, unclenching his fists. Jimin turned around and faced his boy again, eyes staring at the ground. “Jimin I love you. It’s all I can say.” The elder lifted his hands, gently touched the former’s cheeks. “. . and I’m sorry.” He whispered, gulped before he pulled his man closer in a warm, comfortable hug. 

“Will you go with me?” The wrestler spoke between his sniffs, voice hushed slightly against the former’s shoulder. Yoongi let go to look at the younger again, swallowed whatever saliva was in his mouth before he leaned for a quick peck. “Yes . .” He smiled as he leaned again to capture the cherry pink puffy lips between his. Oh how Jimin missed his boyfriend, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing his man back right away, pulling his lower lip between his teeth. “Yes I’ll go with you. Just us.” Yoongi answered again when he pulled back a bit. They kissed as if they didn’t kiss for thousands of years, they kept holding each other like never before. Jimin pinned Yoongi against the nearest wall, heard him gasp the moment he pushed him. “How am I going to take my hands off of you now.” The younger spoke in a sweet tone before he crashed their lips in a passionate kiss, giving Yoongi his all. 

Their tongues collided, the pale guy wrapper his arms tight around Jimin’s neck, holding him still against his lips. “Ah, Jimin . .” Yoongi gasped again when he was pushed against the wall again, his already swollen lips were bitten with lack of gentleness. But the elder liked it, liked how Jimin was showing his lust toward him. When he had the chance, he wrapped his thin legs around Jimin’s waist, grinding against him when their lips lost each other. The thick lips collided with his pale neck, sending shivers underneath his skin, hands under his thighs holding him still. “Are we all good now?” The younger spoke against Yoongi’s neck as the elder replied with a “Yes.” right away, anticipating the next part. He was carried to his own room, to his own bed, and when his back touched the sheets he flipped them to pin his man down on the sheets and trail kisses down his neck instead. 

They made love. Jimin gave his everything, grabbed his man, intertwined their fingers, marked him and sent him to the height sky at the same time. Yoongi grabbed the wrestler tight, clung on his muscled body, gripped into the strong arms, welcomed whatever his man was giving him. When he hit his climax, he pulled Jimin down to hold him as tight as he could, and threw his head to the back with arched spine. They stayed still in their position, their sweaty temples collided, hands still feeling the warmth of their skin. “I love you so much.” The wrestler finally admitted, felt fingers running through the side of his sweaty hair all the way to his nape. He lifted his head to look down at his boyfriend, looking back at his brown eyes in a sweet way. His eyes captured how Yoongi parted his lips the moment he pulled his member out. 

Jimin laid on his back to let him man climb on him and lay down with comfort. The elder’s head on his chest, his soft hair tickling the former’s neck. “When did you plan all this Japan thingy?” Yoongi asked, fingertips exploring Jimin’s shoulder. “Well when I wanted to make up with you before winter. I thought we really need some fresh air, and Japan is a beautiful country.” The younger nuzzled on the former’s hair with closed eyes. 

“I want to try . . I want to go. I never left Korea you know?”

“You can’t be serious! People need some changes from time to time Yoongi.” 

“I’m aware, but I didn’t have the chance to go on a trip.” The elder smiled when he felt a kiss on his head. It’s just the beginning, lot of things are waiting for him. And Jimin is going to let him know why he is alive. 

When the time of the trip came, Jimin was checking his watch by the main door of their apartment waiting for Yoongi to come out from his room. Before they left, he never forgot to grab Yoongi’s beautiful hand all the way to the airport, in the plane and their way to Japan. “Let’s take a picture.” Jimin suggested, pulled his phone out before they landed. When Yoongi remembered the album in Jimin’s old room, he couldn’t reject anything and agreed to take a picture with his boyfriend. “Let this trip be unforgettable.” The younger chuckled with himself, took a quick picture of a straight faced Yoongi. “Hey smile. It’s more beautiful when you smile.” Jimin pouted slightly before the elder did what he was told. Gummy smile beautiful as the aurora in the night sky. “Wonderful.” The younger lifted the back of Yoongi’s hand to plant a quick kiss. Not caring about the people around them, he leaned to kiss his man. 

The air was different in Yoongi’s lung, a nice breeze blew by made him close his eyes and open his arms when they left the airport. Jimin watched him with excitement until he took a taxi to go to the hotel. “How long are we staying?” The elder wondered out loud in the car, eyes drifted away to look at the new city. 

“Until it snows.”


	43. Love

Stars were shining in the night sky, sprinkled like glitter on a black canvas. Yoongi was standing by the window when they arrived to their hotel room, palms colliding with the glass softly. He knew every seconds he was going to spend with Jimin would do him everything good. Warm feelings filled his chest, as if he was already between soothing arms. The thought of being alone with his boyfriend without any harm made him feel at ease. His own reflection was hazy on the glass, shades surrounded his eyes and his other features. Hair was straight, covering his forehead, almost his eye. His small nose and pink lips, no matter how many times he stared at them, they were nothing but beautiful things. In the end Jimin’s cure was working on him, he would see himself like other humans. He would look at his real reflection without any unreal illusion, without any fear or sorrow.

Right behind he watched Jimin’s reflection approaching him, arms around his thin torso from behind made him chuckle sweetly. Jimin sighed from the warmth he felt in his heart, being around the pale guy gave him nothing but comfortable feelings, as if he belonged there since he was born. “My baby. .” he relaxed his chin on the former’s thin shoulder with closed eyes, enjoying every single sweet moment and feeling. “yes yours.” Yoongi whispered when he was swayed suavely. Their bodies pressed against each other, being one. “I love the sky right now.” The elder tilted his head to the back, collided it with Jimin’s shoulder. His breath hitched when he felt the latter’s nose nuzzling on his neck, from the crook till the back of his ear. “Why do you love it?” Jimin’s breath hit his skin as he felt every single hair on his skin stand.

“Because I see you and me with the stars.” Yoongi lifted his beautiful pale hand all the way to the side of Jimin’s hair, ran his fingers through the side of the dark locks and to the back of his head. The emerald brown eyes wandered toward the night sky and their hazy reflection. Yoongi was innocent to think of the way Jimin watched their reflection, but he liked it. His arms tightened around the elder with lips planting soft kisses on the pale skin. “Fuck . . why are you so irresistible?” His hands involuntary looked their way under Yoongi’s shirt, to touch the soft skin and feel the warmth against his palms. The elder’s face flushed red as he pressed himself even more against the former, grabbed a fistful of the black hair, pulled Jimin’s head closer and crashed their lips in a sloppy kiss. Butterflies never stopped from flying in his stomach, jitters ate his organs the more he tasted the wrestler.

Jimin lifted the former’s shirt to his neck, took it off to plant his kisses on the pale nape, down his shoulder and spine. He was pulled closer by the collar of his shirt, lips collided again with his man’s. The pale fingers were unbuttoning his shirt, one after another until he felt the cold palms against his skin, sliding his shirt down his muscled body. His knees touched the ground until his face matched Yoongi’s lower body. The elder felt kind of nervous even though it wasn’t his first time with Jimin, but the way they were away, only the both of them, outside their country made everything different. His sleepy eyes watched how Jimin unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans button and slid his pants down to his knees to lean closer. Without any warning he felt the warmth of Jimin’s mouth already surrounded his hard member. “. . shit.” He breathed a curse with head resting on the window behind him.

Warm tongue was licking his length, giving him the most pleasure feelings to fulfill his lust. “Jimin stop.” Yoongi gripped into the younger’s hair when his balls were touched. Even if he wanted his man to stop, but he never wanted to stop the feelings he felt, they were giving him pleasure shivers all over his body. “Fuck Jimin! Stop I’m going to cum.” The elder let out a moan when he hit his orgasm, felt the younger bobbing his head faster to let everything out in his mouth. His heavy breathing stopped when he looked down at Jimin, the brown eyes met his eyes, the corners of the puffy lips dripping his cum and the well built torso. All he did after was bending down, crashing his lips one more time with Jimin’s and tasted himself. He pushed the former down on the floor with tongues demanding on each other. On top of Jimin he climbed, straddled him as he let out low sounds between their wet lips.

“I should make you feel good now.” Yoongi spoke against the younger’s lips before he pulled back to catch his breath, dug his teeth on the tan skin right on Jimin’s spot as he heard his man’s low moans of pleasure. “Gosh I love this right now. You being all over me.” The wrestler gasped for air when Yoongi bit him roughly, trailed his bites all the way to the other side of his neck. His fingertips ran on the former’s spine, wrapped his arms around him to collide their bodies together on the floor. Yoongi supported his body with his forearms on the floor beside the either side of his man’s head. “Well I can’t help it that I love you so much.” The elder said in a sweet tone when their foreheads touched, breathes mixed together in the tiny space between their faces.

 

✧✧

 

Jungkook rolled on the couch on his back, cushion on his stomach as he sighed loudly. Being home alone bored him like hell. Nothing was fun to do, his ears captured nothing but the sound of silence, killing him. Day and night, he would stay in the house and never leave at all. Taehyung never contacted him since the day he met him. Actually he missed being around the happy couple, he missed teasing Yoongi and hear his laugh, he missed pissing Jimin off and play around with him. His arms were open loosely, nothing more to do.

It was 7 PM when he finally made his mind to get up from that couch to the kitchen. When he opened the fridge it was empty. “Great now you are going to make me leave the house just for you!” He spoke to his solid friend but kicked it right after. With a sigh he grabbed his hoodie and slipped himself in to leave the house. His dark hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction, his lips were puffy from pouting, and his eyes were cold. After all, all he got from the store cans of beer, and when he went to pay he was surprised to see the worker. “Oh hey Jungkook!” Jungkook lazily lifted his eyes to meet the familiar beautiful ones. Kim Taehyung’s. “H-Hey I didn’t know you work here.” He rubbed his nape before he tried to fix his messy hair. For some reason he was embarrassed to be seen in that mess, but since it happened already he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Well yeah . . I take the job here sometimes. But what’s up with all these cans?” Taehyung smiled like his usual smile, the exact same one Jungkook stared at when they had dinner together. “My fridge betrayed me, I found nothing there to eat. I just want to drink tonight.” The younger pushed a smile back, scratched his head as he handed money to Taehyung. “Do you want me to join you? I’m done here actually.” It wasn’t a bad idea, Jungkook needed a company after all. Without hesitation he nodded his head, agreeing at the former’s offer. “Alright then, I’ll get changed and we can leave. Wait for me outside.” Taehyung spoke cheerfully, left the counter when he called another worker to take his place, changed into his casual clothes and bought few things as well.

From the back door of the building he left to meet Jungkook, back against the wall with arms crossed against his chest, bag of beers hanging on his forearm. “Let’s go.” When Taehyung approached, he moved his legs to walk side by side with the former. “How you doing though? You look like an old stinky man.” The older joked, felt a punch on his upper arm as he chuckled at the younger’s reaction.

“Shut up you!” Jungkook’s flawless cheeks stained with cherry blossom pink, his palms covered his face for seconds as he punched the former again. “Don’t shut me up! How old are you anyway?” Taehyung watched at their matching steps, they were walking in sync, large feet stumbling on the tough ground. “20.” He heard the former as he smiled and punched him instead. “So that means I’m a hyung to you. I feel great!” The bags were placed on the dinning table when they arrived Jungkook’s house. Taehyung busied himself when Jungkook took the cans to the living room. What he bought from the store before he left, some penne and vegetable to cook for the former. “Hey Jungkook! I’m going to use ur chicken for minutes.” He shouted from the kitchen, made sure the younger heard him before he boiled some water and throw the penne in to cook.

In the living room, Jungkook already opened one can of been and turned on the TV, switching between channels to look for something good to watch for the both of them. His back rested against the couch when he settled on the ground, felt the former throw himself on the couch next to him. “Is something bothering you?” Taehyung wondered as he grabbed a can of beer.

“No, why?”

“I’m just checking you know. You seem like you’re lost somewhere, thinking about something.” The elder’s eyes glued on the screen when Jungkook settled on a random movie. “I’m fine. Thanks though for coming over.” The younger never lifted his eyes to look at Taehyung, he was busy swallowing beer down his throat. The movie felt hazy, even though he heard a bit about what was going on but he never focused, the screen was blurry as he dozed off, thinking. When Taehyung moved he never noticed his moves, never felt him again when he sat on the couch again and stood up one more time till he smelled something nice. His thoughts vanished the moment Taehyung brought two plates filled with pasta to the living room. “Oh holy shit! When did you make that!” he sat straight to take the plate from Taehyung’s hand.

“Well you’re bothered by something ‘cause I called you several times but you never heard. I told you I’ll use your kitchen since you didn’t eat dinner.” The former settled next to Jungkook, continued the movie with silence. The pasta tasted good, it was red with sprinkled cheese on the top. Jungkook liked the taste of it, and he wished if one day he craved it it would be made specially for him. “It’s good.” He admitted, looked at Taehyung from the corner of his eyes as he captured his smile. When a random question popped in his head he didn’t stop himself from asking. “Do you know Jooheon? Yoongi hyung’s ex?” Jungkook ignored the movie, faced the former to look straight into his well shaped face.

“Oh yeah that guy. I barely know him, didn’t get in touch much with Yoongi when they were together. Why are you asking about him out of the blue?” But Jungkook stayed quiet instead of answering, his fists clenched as his mind started to work on plans alone.


	44. Jungkook is going to be fine

When he opened his eyes, the day light breakthrough the curtains to light the room. Warmth surrounded him as he realized himself being wrapped by Jimin’s limbs. It was comfortable enough for him to smile the moment he opened his sleepy eyes and meet the tan skin against his body. If he could, he would stay there on the huge bed with his boyfriend till he grows old and die feeling so relaxed. When he lifted his eyes, his lenses locked with the brown ones right away. Jimin was already awake staying still in his position as he felt the same, warm and relaxed. “Morning.” The wrestler spoke in a sweet soft low tone, admired the looks on the former’s eyes when he leaned down to peck the blossom pink lips. “Morning.” Yoongi replied with a whisper, lifted his head to capture the puffy lips again with a smile. 

“Where shall we go today?” Jimin wondered out loud, felt the soft pale fingertips caressing the crook of his neck. “The weather is getting colder every day more.” Yoongi ran his fingers through the side of the younger’s hair, eyes staring at the brown ones calmly. It had been a week since they traveled to Japan. The days passed quietly, as if they were alone in this whole world even though they were surrounded by thousands of people. Yoongi was the happiest, he enjoyed every single moment, minute and second with his boyfriend. The bed felt cold when he got up to take his morning shower, leaving the younger on the bed for five more minutes’ sleep. His hair was dripping clear water when he left the bathroom with a towel around his waist, pulled out clothes as he felt Jimin hide behind the bathroom door and get fresh for the new day. 

The sound of buzzing against the nightstand of the hotel room was filling the place. Jimin’s phone never stopped vibrating against the wooden surface. Yoongi pulled up his pants, stretched his hands through the long sleeved shirt before he took few steps to check his man’s phone. Jungkook’s name was clear on the screen, and Yoongi hesitated whether to answer the call or be patient till Jimin comes out from the bathroom. The elder knew Jungkook was wondering where they were, or he wanted to apologize to his friend after realizing what he did, or maybe he needed something else, Yoongi couldn’t guess well. When Jimin came out from the bathroom and stood right next to his small figure, he grabbed the phone from the elder’s hand gently to answer the call right away. 

“You are such an ass do you this!” They were the first words Jungkook spat the moment he heard Jimin’s sigh on the line. “Yes Kook I’m aware. What’s up?” Jimin pecked his man’s lips before he pulled out some clothes for himself. “Hey listen I know it’s weird that I’m calling you after our fight, I wonder if you want to accept my apology.” He sighed when he heard the words breakthrough his ear. With a deep breath he bit his lower lip. “I already forgave you. Drop this, it’s so not you. How you doing though?” When he asked, Jungkook stayed quiet for few seconds before answering. 

“I’m fine . . I’m spending some time with Yoongi’s friend Taehyung hyung these day. He’s fun to hang out with. And by the way . . where are you? Because I knocked on your door but no one answered. Oh and sorry I let myself in but the apartment was empty.” 

“Well that’s good to know. Have fun with him then.” Jimin never gave him an answer to his friend’s question, never wanted to tell Jungkook that they were on a trip in Japan. 

“Listen . . I’m meeting someone today.” The words worried Jimin for some reason as he was concerned about the next lines he was going to hear. 

“Someone? Who’s that someone? Didn’t you say you’re spending your time with Taehyung these days?” 

“Yeah but not today. I’m going to meet Jooheon.” The moment Jungkook mentioned the name, Jimin froze in his place as he couldn’t blink at all. Why out of the blue? Why Jungkook decided this all of a sudden? What is he going to do the moment he sees Jooheon’s face? Questions never stopped from dancing in his head. His shocked eyes were lifted slowly to meet Yoongi’s who looked at him with confusion. “W-Why Kook? Why do you want to meet him?” Jimin never wanted to stutter, he was gulping hard, It was all wrong, whatever Jimin heard was wrong. “You’re not going anywhere Junkook! You’re not going to meet him now or later do you hear me! I don’t know where you are but go back at this instant!” He was yelling without realizing what he was doing. Yoongi tensed in his place several times as he tried to think of something to calm his mad boyfriend. 

“Jimin this is not going to stop me. Yell as much as you want but I’m not stopping right now right here. I’m going to meet that piece of shit and wrench his face.” And just like that the call ended with a beep. “Jungkook!!!” Jimin shouted his name, phone was tossed aside on the floor in the room as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Jimin . . calm down. What happened?” Yoongi tried to approach slowly, but Jimin punched the pillow several times before tossing it aside to the middle of the room. “How the fuck do you want me to calm down when that fucking brat is going to Jooheon!” Yoongi bit his quivering lips, suddenly forgot about everything as he wanted to go back. 

“J-Jungkook is strong. I believe he won’t do anything stupid. .” 

“He can do reckless things Yoongi! He doesn’t think straight when he decides to do something, even if it was wrong.” Jimin threw himself at the edge of the bed, hand covering his face as he was concerned about his friend who he wanted to protect and keep by his side no matter what. 

As the time passed by, Yoongi said nothing. All he did was standing by the window, head tilting to the back and staring down at his boyfriend calming down with every hour passed. The day was gone for nothing, they stayed in the hotel room surrounded by nothing but the sound of silence and their soft breathes. “You’re right . . he’s strong and I believe he won’t do anything stupid.” Jimin spoke after hours, voice soft enough for Yoongi’s chest to calm down. His eyes were glued on his intertwined fingers on his lap, lifted them when Yoongi approached him, bent down in front of him as he was pulled in a warm snuggle. “Jungkook is going to be alright.” The elder almost whispered, stroked the back of the younger’s head, telling him that he won’t leave his side with his actions. 

Jimin didn’t know for how long he rested his head on his man’s shoulder, when he watched the first snowflake falling down from the sky suavely, he lifted his head slowly with parted lips. “. . snow.” He said in a low tone. 

“What?” Yoongi stared at him for few seconds before he turned his head toward the window. Snowflakes falling outside their window, smiling at the both of them to remind them their first year together passed beautifully together. “It is snowing.” Yoongi stood up from the floor with hand on his man’s shoulder. “Yoongi it’s snowing. .” Jimin stood as it was his first time his eyes meets the snowflakes. “Yea-” The elder couldn’t finish what he wanted to say when he was pulled in a kiss, a kiss mixed with lots of feelings, love sorrow and fear. But he knew the both of them were waiting for this moment, their first anniversary. Yoongi smiled between their kiss, whispered ‘I love you’ before kissing his man back.


	45. Cheesy boyfriend

The door he stood in front of was made from steel, dyed with black. On his phone was the location of a certain place he searched for and got the answer by himself. By remembering the first and last time he had been there. Even though it was a dark hard day but he knew this day is going to be harder. Jungkook took a deep breath when the wind blew by him, brushing his hair to the left along with the breeze. Right there, the reflection on his dark eyes was Jooheon’s house, well built in front of him. He was nervous, at the same time he was hesitating, whether he should ring the bell or barge in like a gypsy boy. His huge hands were trembling furiously; scariness was eating his flesh. If he made a wrong move, he might end up like his friend, Minhyuk. Knowing exactly how bad Jooheon can be, he gathered his strength to lift his hand up in the air and touch the doorbell with his fingertip.

“What are you doing?” Just before he rings the bell, the familiar voice grabbed his attention as he jerked back from his spot to see Kim Taehyung walking toward his direction, carrying bags in his hands as he seemed to Jungkook that he came back from shopping. “O-Oh hyung. .” Jungkook scratched the back of his head, beads of sweat dancing on his temples and his nape. “What are you doing here, Jungkook?” Taehyung knew exactly who’s house was that even though he never asked about it or bothered to talk about it with Yoongi before. “I-I . . nothing really. Wanna hang out for a bit?” The youngest among the two cursed in his inner again, his feet involuntary turned away, giving his back to the former as he heard his footsteps following him from behind. “Hey Jungkook.” When their feet matched together, Taehyung looked at the younger from the corner of his eyes. “Be careful. That’s all I can say.” And silence blew behind his words, sending shivers underneath Jungkook’s skin.

“Oh who do we have here?” Right in front of them stood Jooheon, hands in his pockets with a grin on his face. “The great Jungkook and oh . . you look familiar to me.” The wrestler lifted one eyebrow as he eyed Taehyung.

 

✧✧

 

Yoongi waited, stood in the airport when they arrived to Korea. The suitcases were moving one after another in front his eyes until he spotted his and Jimin’s. “How do you feel?” The younger asked when his palm collided with Yoongi’s as they headed toward a taxi and got in. “I feel sad but relieved that we are back.” The pale guy had the most precious time in his whole life in Japan with his boyfriend. There was nothing he didn’t do with the most wonderful wrestler he ever met. They had fun even in the simplest places. The snow was falling still, but Yoongi found it interesting how Japan’s snow feels and looks different than the snow in his own country. “It doesn’t matter though. I’m with you.” He smiled warmly, moved from his seat closer to the former’s well built body, leaned his head against the strong shoulder. “I miss home.” The pale guy closed his eyes to rest till they reach their apartment. And when they did he was carried on the wrestler’s back all the way to Jimin’s bed.

Yoongi shifted to his side, buried his face in the pillow with a soft moan. “Goodnight.” The younger whispered, planted a sweet kiss on the former’s temple, took his shoes off and covered him well with the blanket. At the edge of the bed he sat beside Yoongi’s sleeping body, his temples were massaged, a big sigh escaped from between his puffy lips as he thought of Jungkook. His friend did something reckless and he felt it. For some reason he couldn’t sleep unless he listened to the younger’s voice. Nothing mattered whether they fought or argued or anything anymore. Once he checked on Yoongi one last time, he kissed his head and turned off the light before leaving the room, closing the door quietly behind him. His phone was colliding with his thigh, walking back and forth, confused whether he should make a call or leave the apartment to look for his friend.

In the end the sound of the rings echoed in his ear as he waited for the other line to be picked up. His back was kind of hurting him, his body was tired from the airplane but nothing mattered to him. When Jungkook didn’t answer his phone, Jimin never stopped his calls. One after another. The moment he heard a soft sigh on the other line when Jungkook picked up, he gasped for air. “Kook!” Jimin heard nothing from the other line but heavy breathes. “J-Jungkook do you hear me?” He couldn’t stop his feet from running outside the building, as long as he knew Yoongi was safe alone in there, he didn’t need to check on his sleeping boyfriend again. “Well, he does hear you Park Jimin.” Maybe it was his imagination, but his ears never lied when they captured the familiar voice answering him instead of his friend.

“Jooheon you-” Jimin stopped as he clenched his teeth, since Jungkook chose to go to Jooheon’s place, he didn’t find it hard to turn his feet toward Jooheon’s direction. “Hey. It’s good to hear your voice again Jimin. So how about you come and get your friend from here before I cut his tongue with this knife?”

“I’m already on my way!” The wrestler clenched his fists after he hung up the call. Fastened his running feet to reach in the right time. All he wished for was Yoongi never wakes up from his sleep looking for his warmth.

The sky was filled with clouds, but instead of pouring rain, snowflakes started to sprinkle on earth. Few landed on Jimin’s shoulders and head, the others melted on the ground waiting for the others to cover them. It was snowing. Each snowflake reminded him of Yoongi, he was supposed to cuddle under the blanket and kiss him all night, he was supposed to wrap his arms around the slim body and keep him warm against his chest. Nothing was in his favor. When he arrived to Jooheon’s house, he never knew which direction he should take. Left? Right? Straight? He never knew where Jooheon was or Jungkook. The house was colder than the wind outside, the marble of the floor felt freezing. Yes, Jimin was still in his boots, but he felt every single shiver under his skin.

All he remembered was the stairs, the rooms, and the last level where Yoongi was locked in before. Maybe Jungkook was there as well. The moment he headed toward the stairs, he heard running feet rushing down the stairs along with heavy pants. Taehyung was there, his face had few cuts but the moment he saw Jimin, he couldn’t stop himself from hiding behind the shield he found. “Taehyung! Where’s Jungkook?” Without any word, the former pointed his finger toward the stairs. “Listen, leave! Okay? You can’t stay here!” Jimin found himself pushing the taller toward the main door until his feet touched the street’s ground. “Call the police!” And just like that he rushed back in, up the stairs, stopped to check random rooms till he found the right one. His intention was to rescue Jungkook and leave right away, but the moment he watched his friend on the floor groaning from pain, his fists clenched.

“Jooheon you fucking bastard! You finished Minhyuk and you want to do the same with Jungkook!” Jimin never held his anger, he approached without any hesitation toward the other wrestler with fist colliding with his cheekbone. “How strong, Jimin. Maybe I want to make your life miserable by taking every single one precious to you. Just like how you stole someone precious to me.” Everything was cool to Jooheon, as if he was walking in a path, clear, bright, with rocks in his hands to knock anyone would cross his path. When he was punched, he took steps to the back but nothing more, his body managed to stand still to endure the former’s punch.

Jungkook coughed when Jimin helped him to stand, both ignoring Jooheon’s presence. “I don’t even understand how your liking exist. Monster.” Jimin spat the words as he walked past the wrestler, until he was grabbed by the wrist. “You want to know what my liking are like?” Jooheon turned his feet away toward drawers, pulled out 4 pairs of gloves. “Fight me right here, right now and I’ll let you know.” Jimin furrowed his brows, with a slight turn, he let go of Jungkook, caught the red gloves that were thrown at him with a curse. It had been a long time since he fought someone, after the long break from the hospital his body grew a bit weaker, and because of the trip his body was sore. “Fine! And if I win again, you’d never stick your business with my friends and the close people in my life. Specially Yoongi.” The mention of Yoongi’s name made Jooheon smirk with pinky finger in his ear.

“Yoongi? Oh Yoongi . . I’m still waiting for the day to kick his ass in the ring you know?” The former ignored him completely, he shoved his hands in the gloves as he knotted the laces with a help from his teeth. “Bring it on fucker.” Jimin bit his lower lip, collided his gloved fists together as he faced Jooheon completely. Jungkook leaned against the wall, still in the room, he never wanted to leave without watching Jimin win this fight with Jooheon.

Jooheon licked his pink lips, took his stance. His fists were in the right positions, one near his jaw to protect and the other in front of him to throw a direct punch at Jimin. The both of them stood still in their place, waiting for each other to take the first step so they can move on in the fight. Jimin didn’t think of anything, all he focused on was Jooheon. His skinny jeans were a bit tight, stopped his legs from specific moves he wanted to take. Jimin’s fighting style never changes, since he faced Jooheon more than twice, he was aware of the former knowing about his moves. He took his first step with fist throwing in the air, Jooheon was able to avoid the first punch. Not giving up yet, he threw another direct punch but it was blocked. “What’s wrong with you? I thought you are a smarty.” Jimin rolled his eyes, it was his turn to avoid Jooheon’s first punch.

“I’m not in the mood for this. Let’s finish it fast.” And after this Jooheon never stopped his fists. He threw punches one after another with a single break. Jimin couldn’t do anything but protect his face with his arms, blocking the heavy strong punches as hard as he could. Actually he was feelings kind of weak, along with his tiredness his body grew weaker. To grant his wish, Jooheon wanted to finish fast just like what he was told, but for some reason the former regret spitting the words out. The air wasn’t easy to breathe; it was heavy filled with fishy smell. Jungkook didn’t know if he should leave or cheer his friend up when his body was killing him from the punches he received. From the very beginning, it was his fault, he should have listened to Jimin when he told him to stay and never go to Jooheon.

Jimin took a quick step back when he punched Jooheon on the jaw, making him stumble to the back with a curse. “Is that all you got?” When he heard his voice, Jimin approached hastily, throwing two punches to the either side of the former’s body. He felt his hands sweat in the gloves, his wrists hurting him a bit without being wrapped. Who cares about the wrist wraps when he wanted to finish Jooheon like the previous times. “Oh fuck you Jimin!” The former wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with his forearm. With a quick step forward, he punched Jimin right on the temple. The sound of the thuds on the floor hit every corner the moment Jimin rolled down on the ground from the hard punch. “Hyung!” Jungkook yelled for him, but when Jimin couldn’t get up for quite time, he cursed Jooheon out loud.

The world was spinning around Jimin, he was staring at Jooheon’s feet with hazy gaze, his arms lost their strength to lift him up from the ground and continue the fight with the former. In the end it was his first fight he lost, something he felt so bad about. Few more blinks. His eyes were regaining their gaze back to look clearly at the moving figures. His ears were muddled, he couldn’t hear what Jooheon was saying, Jungkook as well. The moment he was able to see clearly; his lips were parting with shock. Jimin didn’t know when Jungkook was able to move and stab the side of Jooheon’s side with heavy breathes. “Jungkook . . you idiot!” he spoke in a low tone, pushed some strength to his arms to support himself and get up from the ground. “Fucking leave from here!” He almost yelled, heard Jooheon’s knees collide with the ground as he lost his balance. “Leave and look for Taehyung! I’m sure he called the police by now. Hurry!” The taller boy was pushed toward the door of the room, his whole body was trembling and Jimin felt it.

His ears captured the running feet on the stairs as he tossed the gloves aside. “Kook you idiot!” Jimin murmured under his breath when he approached Jooheon, stained his palms with the former’s fresh blood as he dyed his shirt and grabbed the knife. Not Jungkook too, no more loss, he knew if something happened to Jungkook after all this, he would change. And to save his friend, he would take the horrible incident between his hands and endure what’s coming next toward him. From Jungkook’s big eyes he knew the younger was shocked from his own action.

“You have a really tough friend. . I won. .”

“Shut up bastard!” Jimin cursed Jooheon, just before he got up, two policemen rushed inside the rooms with guns high in the air pointing at Jimin. “Arrest him!” They were the last words Jimin head before everything went mute. As if he was inside pictures, everything was moving but without a sound. He felt every single hand touched him. From the either side of his body he was grabbed, his wrists were cuffed behind his back. When he was pulled outside the room with force, he never knew if Jooheon is going to live or die. He wished if Jungkook managed to find Taehyung and run away with him, wished if Yoongi was still sleeping in peace and when he wakes up he would never worry without Jimin’s presence in the apartment.

Around the house Jungkook was running, he would try to avoid any policeman crossed his path. In his whole life, he never felt scared that much. Why did he stab Jooheon? Maybe he was frustrated from the who incidents that happened to Yoongi, Minhyuk and Jimin and him himself. Why did he run away knowing that Jimin will be arrested? The thought made him curse as he felt the tears at the corner of his eyes, wanted to fall but he tried his best to hold them still. When he had the chance to escape, he ran away from Jooheon’s house oblivion of what was happening. Inside an alley between the houses he was pulled in the dark place, he wanted to fight and argue but Taehyung’s shaded face stopped him as he felt weak. He thought he was alone, but the former stood by his side now, covering his hard breathes with his huge palm.

“H-Hyung. .” Jungkook stuttered, from the look in Taehyung’s eyes, he knew the older was worried. “Hyung I don’t know why I did it . . J-Jimin is there and . . and. .” He couldn’t continue, the words were locked inside his chest. “Shhh . . it’s okay. Come here.” Taehyung had no other choice but to pull the younger to his chest, to calm him down, to comfort him. “Please . . let’s go somewhere far. I beg you hyung.”

“Alright.” Taehyung felt bad, he called the police as he was told, and now Jungkook was trembling between his hands. He had no choice but to grant the younger’s wish. Their palms touched, their feet followed each other when they left the alleyway. Taehyung gripped the former’s hand tight just in case he doesn’t slip away from him. Soon, and he’ll give Jungkook the full comfort and warmth he needed.

 

The next morning, Yoongi opened his eyes the moment he felt the sun rays hitting his eyelids. He let out a low breath as he rubbed his eyes, turned to his side after and stretched his arms to feel Jimin next to him but the bed felt cold. When he opened his eyes slowly, Jimin’s spot was empty. It was neat. And he knew Jimin didn’t spend the night next to him. For some reason he wondered, but then he thought innocently that maybe the wrestler is already downstairs making breakfast for the both of them. Looking for his phone, he looked around him on bed, the nightstand, but his phone wasn’t there. Under his pillow? Nothing. When he stretched his hand under Jimin’s pillow, he touched something else instead. A small box. Since when it was there? He wondered and pulled it out. It was a black ring box. The back of his hand covered his pink lips after he opened it. Two silver rings, right next to each other were there.

“You’re so cheesy.” Yoongi uttered under his breath, as if his boyfriend was able to hear him. Warmth filled his chest as he returned the box in its place, pretended as if he saw nothing and jumped from the bed, right after he realized that his phone was sleeping under him. Taking it to the vanity, he took his morning shower and looked at himself in the mirror, smiled at his fresh reflection before he ran downstairs with excitement. The kitchen was empty, not even food was made, the training room and his room. Everything was frozen in its place, nothing was moving but his body. “Where did he go?” He wondered out loud, looking around him one more time, he threw himself on the couch and turned on the TV. With the towel around his neck, he dried his hair, ignored the screen until he heard specific news mentioning a name he knew. Boxer, Park Jimin, was on the TV, arrested.


	46. You and I

The world stopped around Yoongi. The TV was on without a sound. The news was lying to him. A total oblivion was surrounding him. When did all of this happen? He never stopped asking himself. What kind of sins he made to get all these things he was going through? he was mentally tired from all this shit. But he needed to know, how did it happen? And why and how? Who was he going to ask when he was all alone, shattering in the apartment. His pale hands rested on the either side of his head to try and believe everything his eyes watched. 

“Hyung. .” The call pulled him back to reality as he dropped his hair towel to the couch and turned his head toward two tall figures standing, looking down at him with faces filled with sorrow. “Hyung.” Jungkook called again, eyes dropped to the ground when he felt warmth in the back of his eyeballs. Yoongi slowly approached him, step by step, he took them slowly till he stood one meter away from the youngest. “W-What happened? Why is he arrested?” When Jungkook didn’t reply, Yoongi approached closer. “Kook talk to me . . w-what happened? He was with me last night, I felt him kissing me. He was here. Just tell me I’m mistaken.” His voice was a bit low, knew the former heard him well through the small space between them. 

“You’re not mistaken. That’s Jimin hyung.” The youngest admitted, bit his lower lip to control the beads of tears that wanted to roll down his cheeks. “Hyung I came here just to tell you what exactly happened. I’m such a coward. I ran away.” Yoongi shook his head furiously, clenched his fists on the former’s shirt, looked for the younger’s eyes until they met each other. “It’s all my fault. I-I did that to him. . I-I-” Jungkook’s voice trembled, the tears never stayed still in his eyes but flooded down his cheeks. “W-What are you talking about?” The elder never took his eyes off of the younger’s big dark ones. He needed to know more. He wanted to know what happened exactly but his chest was suffocating him. “Jimin didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not his fault . . I was the one.” Confusion was still running through Yoongi’s veins, the former wasn’t clear enough to explain the whole incident that happened. 

Taehyung was quiet, standing there with zipped lips listening to the both of them almost arguing about what happened. What was there to say? He couldn’t talk yet. “Jungkook I can’t understand what you’re saying. I want to know what happened . . please.” Yoongi pleaded, his fists tightened around the fabric as he left no more space between them. “Jimin was fighting Jooheon . . a-and, a-and he was going all tough on him. I just couldn’t stand it so I . . I don’t know why I did it,” Now he was sobbing, Yoongi barely understood what he was saying. “I stabbed him. . and I don’t know if I killed him or not. Jimin pushed me out and he c-c-covered my shit when I’m supposed to be in his place.” Fist hit his chest several times in row. The younger knew Yoongi broke down in front of him, and soon he knew everything will fall on his chest. 

“You idiot. .” The elder kept his hits steady, one after another, thuds in the air. “You fucking idiot!” His voice raised, but his eyes never left the younger’s still. “You don’t even realize how many times Jimin already covered your shits! You don’t realize how many times he risked his life for you don’t you? You mess up things and leave them behind broken until he picks the pieces up and put them together for you! And you . . you’re fucking things up more and more everyday. You don’t have any fucking business with Jooheon, why did you go there? You made Jimin worry like hell. And in the end . . in the end he ended up in that fucking jail because of a fucking idiot like you. Enough is enough Jungkook!” The whole apartment shook from his loud yells. Taehyung placed his hand on his forehead as he wanted to stop his friend, but he couldn’t. 

Jungkook’s loud sobs hit every single corner, his hands covered his falling tears. Yoongi wanted to smack him and he felt it through the hard hits on his chest. “What are you going to do now huh? Just stay hidden for I don’t know how many years until Jimin comes out from there? You need to explain this . . not to me. He’s inncocent Kook . . he’s innocent.” The pale guy pushed the former to the back as he buried his face behind his palms, shocked from the whole thing he heard. “Hyung . . I’m so sorry hyung.” Jungkook was pushed against the nearest wall, back split to two from the strength of the elder’s hands. “Sorry?” The former clenched his teeth with furrowed brows. “What should I do with five letters? Stump on them or throw them away? Sorry won’t do anything better Jungkook!” 

“Hyung this is enough.” Taehyung interrupted, pulled his friend back, slid his hand down to grab Jungkook’s. Right after Yoongi glared at the both of them with death stares before he left the living room to Jimin’s room with curses escaping from between his soft lips. His back collided with the hard surface of the door, sliding down when his legs couldn’t hold him anymore from the sudden pressure and the hurtful truth. “You’re so stupid!” He said out loud with fingers clenching on his shirt. Yoongi didn’t know what he said was for Jungkook or Jimin, the both of them took wrong paths. 

Taehyung didn’t know what to do anymore, he stood there feelings useless. Jungkook was breaking down in front of him. How can he comfort him? He wondered. When he wanted to leave, Jungkook was stubborn to stay in the apartment. Leaving Yoongi alone wasn’t in his intention. After what he did, he needed to stay around him, even if his feelings started to vanish slowly but he needed to stay with him innocently like they used to be before. “I’ll stay until we work things out and think of something.” The youngest sniffed, wiped his tears with his palms. Next to each other they sat on the couch, Taehyung was close enough as he felt their knees touching. “It’s okay. I’ll be here. It’s okay.” He kept repeated to the former, pulled him to his chest several times to give him some comfort. 

The next day Yoongi didn’t know if he slept or not. All he knew that he was sitting still by the door till the sun rose behind the white curtains in the room. His eyes were heavy, another morning without Jimin stabbed him right in the heart. He felt empty, felt as if something huge in him was taken away by someone else. When he felt some strength in his legs, he stood slowly, hands supporting his body against the wall. Yoongi needed to see Jimin, he needed to talk, he wanted to hear his voice. The vanity was facing him when he approached slowly, the mirror was there waiting for him. He watched his own reflection walking just like him, approaching till he watched himself, near enough to look at every single detail in his face. “What are we going to do now? You and I.” He pointed at his reflection, eyes glued on his pink soft moving lips. 

“You should go and check on Jimin.” His reflection talked back to him, but he was aware it was himself. When he left the room, he felt the presence of Jungkook and Taehyung but he ignored them. Outside under the falling snowflakes he clenched his fists, fighting the tears that wanted to flood from his eyes, but not yet. He didn’t want to cry yet. It took him time to reach the prison, and the more he looked at it the more he felt scared to ask for Jimin’s name. 

In a small room he sat, facing a window with holes, a chair on the other side that he kept staring at it. The moment he heard the sounds on the other side of the door his heart never stopped bounding. And when Jimin sat facing him on the other side, everything froze around him.


	47. Stupid us

“Hey baby.” 

Silence. 

“Are you doing great?” 

Silence.

“You know. It’s kinda nice being here. At least without getting in any troubles.” 

Silence. 

“I understand you’re mad. But don’t stay this quiet, say something.” 

The moment Yoongi saw his man’s face and his tongue tied, no more words wanted to leave from between his pink lips. What he hated the most was that Jimin acted cool, as if he never broke Yoongi’s heart at all with his decision. Him in gray clothes made the former cuss in his inner. He hated it. He hated Jungkook at that moment. He hated the whole incident that happened and he hated everything. “You’re such a freaking asshole.” They were the first words he spat since he came to the prison to meet the former. “How could you take his place! How could you protect him even in such situations Jimin! You’re such a crazy person.” Jimin was trying to shut the former up and calm him down with his hands. 

“Hey listen,” Jimin moved closer to the holes on the glass in front of him. They were separated by a colorless glass window. “I don’t want Jungkook to be here. We both know how he is, if he came here he’ll change after he comes out. Will you patient and wait for me? Three years-“

“No! No you’re innocent! You can’t just stay here and leave me out there alone Jimin. You can’t!” The elder cut the former fast as he leaned closer too, tried to talk in angry but low voice. “I’ll let Jungkook turn himself in but you- you . . Jimin please . .” Yoongi’s voice started to tremble the moment he felt his tears gathering at the corner of his eyes to fall down his cheeks. “Yoongi, Jooheon is still alive. All they told me that he’s still alive. Since I’m being locked here, just forget about his existence and please look after Jungkook for me.” Jimin stood from his chair with both hands on the glass, wishing if he can touch his man’s soft pale cheeks and wipe away his sad tears. 

“What are you saying Jimin, I don’t want to do anything of this. I don’t want to look after him. All I want is you out of here!” 

“Yoongi don’t come here again to see me.”

“Jimin no! I’ll come every single day!” 

“Please wait for me.” 

“Park Jimin!!!!” Yoongi yelled his man’s full name for the first time inside the cell as he lifted his hands slowly to meet Jimin’s. If only this glass window wasn’t blocking them from each other, he thought. “Please don’t do this to me, please . .I love you.” His head leaned closer to rest on the glass, sobbing lowly. “Please baby please , , at least let me come to you. Let me meet you here.” What he heard was the door behind him open, time was up, he should go and leave Jimin behind. “I love you Yoongi. And we’ll meet when I come out from here. Don’t come here again.” Jimin turned when his door was opened too. Time to go. Without looking at his man for one last time, he gave him his back, walked away even though he heard the thuds on the glass, heard Yoongi yelling at him, heard him calling him more than ten times, but he knew if he looked at the elder again he won’t hold himself from running back to him and break the glass with his own fists. 

He knew whatever he said hurts so much, but that was the only choice he thought of. If Yoongi came to see him every day, he’ll feel worse every time more. All he wished and prayed for was that his man lives in peace till he leaves the prison. And the way he took it, he took it as a break from each other instead of a problem his friend caused. Jimin was taken back to his cell. The small dark room with no windows. One single dusty bed and a rotten toilet. When the door was locked behind his back, his walked slowly toward the bed, feet barely walking on the grayish tough floor. “. . my baby.” He whispered, voice echoing back to his own ears as he sat down with overwhelm. Hands on his head, he let the tears flood down his cheeks. His vision was blurry when he looked around him, the dark forsaken walls, the locked door. Nothing. If Jungkook was in his place he knew his friend would kill himself, being there instead is better after all, so save everyone. And if Jungkook turned himself in, Jimin would make sure to prove his friend wrong and remain in his place. 

 

When Yoongi opened the main door of the apartment, he screamed as he punched the door. Was it anger? Rage? Sadness? Or frustration? He didn’t know. Yoongi felt terrible, felt the world collapse in front of him. Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. If he could break that glass, he would punch his boyfriend too. Jimin pissed the fuck out of him, hurt him, and shattered his heart. With every frustrated thought he punched the door until his blood stained on the solid material.

“. . h-hyung.” Jungkook again. Oh Jungkook, how Yoongi wished to grab a knife and stab him without a single stop. “Hyung stop it-“ Right before the youngest finish, he was grabbed by his collar, back collided with the wall with strength. “Stop it? Stop what? Punching that door?” Yoongi was speaking through his clenched teeth. “I would punch you instead do you know this! And what the fuck are you still doing here? Jungkook I don’t want to see your face again, did you know this?” They were painful words, but the younger tried his best to accept everything and respect whatever Yoongi spat at him. Because he knew, this was all his fault. Whatever happened to Jimin, Yoongi, Jooheon and even Taehyung. He knew everything was his fault. 

“H-Hyung . . I’ll let you do whatever you want with me but please . . stop it.” Yoongi was furious, without a single thought he collided his fist with the former’s high cheekbone. Smacked the hell out of him until he was pulled away from Jungkook who coughed hard, spat blood on the ground with heavy breathes. “Hyung! Stop it now!” Yoongi didn’t know about Taehyung being in the apartment too, but he expected it. He was firmly grabbed by his friend’s strong arms, pulling him away from Jungkook. “Do you think punching him would do you anything good! Do you think you can bring Jimin back like this!” Taehyung was yelled at him, pushing him few feet away to the back when he let go of his small body. “I’ll talk to Jungkook if you’re going to be like every single time. He doesn’t need this hyung.” The taller exhaled deeply, turned his feet away from his friend to lift Jungkook from the ground, escorted him toward the couch carefully. 

After that day, neither of them saw Yoongi. For days? Weeks? Months? Yoongi never showed his face to the both of them. He would be whether in the training room by himself punching the bags or lock himself in Jimin’s room. Yoongi locked himself alone with his own reflection, his illusions returned, but not to the point to run away from them, but instead he fought with them, talked back to his reflection and pulled himself together as if Jimin was there holding him still and telling him how he shouldn’t be scared. Never be scared. When he tried to go to talk with Jimin, they would tell him that his boyfriend doesn’t want to see him, and he would feel sad again.

He won few matches, out of frustration, out of all the anger, he punched his opponents with all his might. Maybe he changed? No he was sure. Literally sure that he changed to a stronger man than how he used to be back them, how weak he was, how he was waiting for someone to save him from the misery he was in, but not anymore. He became stronger, physically and mentally. All he was waiting for, the day his name would come up to stand on the ring, surrounded by the thick ropes and knock Jooheon down for him and for Jimin, and for Minhyuk as well. 

 

Jungkook was telling himself everyday how stupid he was, how he regretted not listening to Jimin, and Taehyung was there all the time for him to tell him that everything is going to be alright, until one day he kissed the older when his heart skipped a beat for the first time toward Taehyung. They were out for a walk, a fresh air for Jungkook. And after all this he realized how his feelings for Yoongi was because he needed someone by him side but not love feelings, and when he confessed what he really feels toward Taehyung, they cuddled the whole night.


	48. Maybe, maybe not

 

         Punch. Punch. Punch. The lights were strong enough to hit his eyes and block his view. Everything around him was like an ocean of silhouettes. He was in the middle of the ring, on the platform surrounded by the thick ropes. His mind was blank, all he thought about was the opponent in front of him. When he finished him easily with one last jab, he jumped from the ring directly, ignoring the cheers of the crowd. No matter how many times he said he hated boxing, in the end he was there, fighting with his gloved fists. No matter how many times he called Jimin a monster, he was the new monster now.

 

         Jungkook was there, waiting for him down the ring, holding a fresh dried towel in his hand  to wipe the sweat off of Yoongi’s torso. That was ignored too. Through his nose, Yoongi looked at his way toward the changing room, pulled out a towel from his own bag to wipe his sparkling sweat under the lights. “Hyung . .” Jungkook called in a soft voice, he was still with Yoongi, making sure to repay for what he did to his friend. The latter have been ignoring Jungkook all this time. Maybe he was overreacting or over doing it, but he was pissed like hell. Pissed off of the idea that the both friends didn’t want to admit the truth of the incident. One whole year passed and Yoongi was still lost. He never gave up, when he went to the prison calling for Jimin, his boyfriend still rejected him. One whole year, Yoongi thought. One whole year was hard for him to live every fucking single day without his boyfriend around. Yes, he was still not used to any of this shit, still not used to not see the former’s face, his body next to his at night, the hugs, the kisses, Yoongi missed them all. All. All.

 

         “Hyung, is there anything you need? Shall we go to the hospital for a check up?” Jungkook took a deep breath before asking. Just like how he used to stay with Jimin’s side after every fight, he stayed by Yoongi’s side, even though the ignorance and the avoiding stayed steady. “I hope there’s no inner bleeding . . you know how dangerous that is.” The younger couldn’t speak in a normal voice, his tone was low enough to sound afraid from the elder. “I’m fine.” Yoongi spat before he slung his bag on his shoulder and left, shutting the door of the changing room strong enough to shake the walls along with him. The former stood there, sighing in his place with arms on the either side of his big figure. “ . .I’m sorry.”.

 

        Jungkook didn’t go after Yoongi, he knew the elder would go directly to his apartment. Instead, he stepped outside of the ring hall, pulled his phone out to call Taehyung. His boyfriend finished his part time job and he was heading home already.

 

         “Hey.” The younger said once he entered Taehyung’s house. The older was by the door taking his sneakers off. They reached kinda at the same time. With a quick peck, Jungkook leaned to steal a kiss from the former’s lips. “How was Yoongi’s fight?” Taehyung asked, hands placing plastic bags on the dining table. From the corner of his eyes, he watched Jungkook throw himself on the couch with a loud sigh. “It was good but he’s still ignoring me man . . I don’t know what to do with him.” The younger sighed again, turned on his side, eyes glued on the closed screen of the TV. “He still needs some time Kook.” The older pulled out a bag of chips as he threw it at the former.

 

         “Until when man . . he just needs Jimin back.”

 

         And after this, the both of them stayed silent. As if the silence was a beast that breakthrough inside of them and shut their mouth. Realizing the mistake they did before, Taehyung for some reason felt so guilty. Even though he tried to persuade the younger to turn himself in but in the end he agreed to run away with him. “I’ll check on him later . .you, come here.” Jungkook sat, patted the empty space next to him on the couch, telling the former to approach and sit next to him. The older settled right next to the former, thighs pressed against each other, upper arms rubbed against one another. “Wont you free your friend?” When Taehyung asked, he couldn’t receive an answer from Jungkook. The silence ate them again.

 

 

 

         Yoongi was punching the bag when he heard the main door of the apartment open and close. The door of the practice room was wide open; he could hear every single sound outside the room along with his heavy breathes. Beads of sweat were rolling down his pale face and torso. “Hyung . . I’ll be in the kitchen, if you need anything let me know.” Even though Jungkook knew he won’t hear the elder’s voice that day, he still spoke. For few more minutes he stood by the training room door, eyes glued on the elder’s whole body. His movement, his punches, his soaked hair, his sweat. Yoongi was working hard to reach a specific goal.

 

         Yoongi needed more time to fight Jooheon. More months? Years? He didn’t know exactly. But once he knocks the beast down, he will quit boxing right away. With one last punch on the bag, he threw himself on the ring with heavy breathes. Skin glowing from the crystal beads of sweat. The high big window was allowing the sunlight cross the glass all the way to the former’s face, his eyelids closed a bit, he dark eyes showed the real gray color in them. With his teeth, he unknotted the laces of the navy blue boxing gloves as he tossed them aside. Heavy breathes still echoing in his own ears. _Days are passing way too slow_ , he thought, mind flying to think of Jimin. Yoongi didn’t know know for how long he laid there, his eyes were slowly closing, and when he opened them again it was already dark. The sun sat and he spent the day passing out on the training ring.

 

        With a sigh, he slowly lifted his back from the platform. On his lap he felt something dropping down. When his eyes traveled to look down, there was a thin blanket on him. Jungkook. Probably, he didn’t think of anyone else. Yes, he was still ignoring him, but he never wanted to talk to him. Jungkook pissed him off enough to squeeze the elder’s heart. The friendship love he had in him toward the younger was slowly fading. For some reason, Yoongi was quiet just like how Jungkook met him for the first time. Mute, as Minhyuk used to say. The blanket was left behind, he got up and left the training room, all the way to Jimin’s room he walked, scrubbing his feet on the ground. Jungkook was still there, laying on the couch, eyes on the dark sky outside the huge window in the living room.

 

        Just before he closes the door of the room, the door opened with Jungkook’s hand, the other clenching on the pale wrist. “Hyung.” The younger called, let himself in the room with hand steady on the former’s wrist. With a swift, Yoongi tossed the former’s hand. Few steps and he was grabbed again. “Hyung please.” But the hand of Jungkook was tossed one more. “Hyung!” With a shout, the younger grabbed the either side of the elder’s shoulders, turning him to face him. “You fucked up!” Yoongi snapped, hands colliding with Jungkook’s chest as he pushed him to the back. “What’s the point of staying around me when I don’t want you! You’re supposed to focus on Jimin not me!” Now he was panting, he clenched his fists as he walked in circles in the room, holding himself from smacking Jungkook anymore.

 

         “Jimin already spent a year there . . I’m just afraid from all of this.” The younger was for some reason afraid to let the words out too.

 

         “If you’re afraid why did you do it from the very beginning?” Yoongi grabbed the former’s collar, pulling him down to his small figure. “You’re such a coward! An asshole who would run away even from me right now. Get yourself together you stupid! Two fucking more years . . Two! Do you know what does that mean? I don’t want to wait.”

 

        “Hyung . . they’ll pass way too fast.”

 

         Yoongi didn’t want to hear the younger anymore, he pushed him one last time and kicked him outside the room, locking the door right after him. Yoongi swore he never expected the former to be this weak, this coward and this stupid. Why was he afraid to turn himself in and admit what happened exactly? He wished to know, wished to understand the younger at least once, wished if he can just drag him all the way to the police station and make him talk. But that wasn’t Jungkook at all.

 

         But still, two years didn’t pass yet. In one year, lots can happen, in one month tons of things can happen, in a day, two incidents and more. After few days, Yoongi received a call that he was going to fight in the huge ring, finally, wrestling with other wrestlers. Maybe his boxing skills and techniques improved so fast, even though most of them were Jimin’s techniques. Jungkook disappeared, without telling Taehyung either. How Yoongi knew? From his friend of course, because Taehyung couldn’t reach the younger, didn’t find him in his house or at their favorite places. Yoongi wasn’t surprised, he knew the younger is up to something, but he tried to soothe Taehyung at that time. “Jungkook is coming back, I promise you.” The elder was sure when he let the words out, the former was resting his head on his small shoulder.

 

     

 

        It was the day. Yoongi was nervous. Since there was not a date yet to fight with Jooheon, he couldn’t tell which of the other huge wrestler will be his opponent. Jungkook didn’t come back yet. Taehyung accompanied the elder to the ring, slung the former’s backpack on his shoulder and patted his back. “Good luck. It’ll be my first time to see you fight in the ring.” Taehyung confessed, he was cheering Yoongi in the changing room and gave him some motivation to get himself together and kick the nervousness away from his body. “This is a big day for me.” Yoongi took a deep breath, allowed his friend to wrap his wrists and tape the gloves firmly. Just before he left the changing room, he looked down at his gloves. The black gloves, the black shorts. Jimin’s gloves, Jimin’s shorts. Jimin’s soul was tangling with his, they were two souls in one body, they were one.

 

         With a deep breath, Yoongi left the room, walked in the hallways with heart bounding strongly in his chest. Taehyung’s steps were following him, echoing behind him. The cheers were very loud; the lights were dancing in the whole hall. Once Yoongi was called to go out to the crowd, the doors opened in front of him. Cheers increasing, shouts digging in his ears. With a straight face, he allowed himself in the ring from between the ropes with hands high in the air. He sat at one of the corner to listen to Taehyung and his manager, but everything went mute, for few seconds he couldn’t hear anything when his eyes were focusing on someone far away yet walking toward the ring. His tongue was tied, his ears still muting the whole world. When his opponent stood on the platform, he lost his strength all of a sudden. Because, he didn’t expect to fight with Jooheon in such a day.

 

         “Hey you.” And then all of a sudden, he could hear everything again. Jooheon had a smirk on his face when he never dropped his gaze from the former’s small dark eyes. “It’s been a long time since we saw each other, yeah?” The same voice, the tone Yoongi hated the most, the figure he wished to be in Jimin’s place. _God please_. The elder prayed before he stood on his feet. He was going to start soon, but he had nothing in mind how this fight was going to be. Will he lose? Is he going to win? Is he going to die today? The questions never stopped from dancing in Yoongi’s head. All he wished for that he ends this fight peacefully and leave the ring for the rest of his life. “Hey bastard.” Taehyung covered his mouth, and that’s because he was holding his laugh when he heard Yoongi spit at Jooheon.

 

        “Show me what you got.” Jooheon allowed his teeth guard in his mouth and jumped in his place, ready to rip Yoongi in pieces. Without a word, the former collided his gloved fists together just like how Jimin did when he first faced Jooheon in the ring. As if it was déjà vu, the beast was getting pissed off even before they started from the behaviors Yoongi was showing. Jimin’s. Everything was Jimin’s. As if he was facing Jimin all over again.

 

         Yoongi didn’t talked much, once he heard the word “Fight!” He paid his full attention toward the other wrestler. The both of them were walking in circles, brows furrowed, wrinkles showing in between them. Yoongi noticed that Jooheon grew a bit bigger, his muscles were in a better shape than the last time he saw them. Oh, so Jooheon worked even harder to laugh at the loser Min Yoongi. The elder tightened his fists inside the gloves, tried to take his first move but he failed when Jooheon avoided the first punch. Cheers from the audience. Just like how Jimin looked at the crowd, Yoongi watched it the same. Black sea with raging waves.

 

         The first one to get hurt was Yoongi, he was punched on the jaw, but he didn’t let the former punch him again as he stepped back and defensed himself with forearms crossed against his face. “Weak!” Not again. Yoongi hated the word, hated to hear it specially from Jooheon. He wasn’t weak . . he was strong and he showed it! He attacked Jooheon directly with two punched on the either side the former’s bare torso. “Awesome Yoongi! Keep going!” Taehyung shouted, hands around his mouth to make sure his voice reaches his friend from the loud noise around them.  “Don’t you dare call me weak again.” There was a threat in the elder’s tone when he attacked Jooheon again, punching his cheekbone right away. The first round ended. Second. Third. Fourth and the fifth. The both of them were steady and stubborn to fight till the end. Yoongi received few punched on his face and torso. Jooheon spat blood in a bucket and had some water to refresh himself before the sixth round starts.

 

         Yoongi’s body was already aching him. Jooheon wasn’t an easy opponent. He was strong. The elder steadied his breathes to focus on his opponent sharply. He opened his mouth, moved his jaw in circles and approached the former. Jooheon attacked right away, threw a punch on Yoongi’s torso side and stepped back quickly. It was tense in the ring; Taehyung was nervous standing out there watching his friend getting hurt.

 

         Not yet, Yoongi didn’t want to lose yet. He shook his head slightly before he started to use Jimin’s techniques. Thee fast moves, the tricks. He managed to punch Jooheon on the face and the chest. It wasn’t just a fight; it was a revenge. Yoongi let out his madness on Jooheon, showed him the real pain he felt all these years. Gave him the darkness of his eyes with on last punch on Jooheon’s temple. Exactly how Jimin knocked him down. It felt so empty, even when Yoongi watched Jooheon on the platform but he was empty. In the inside. He wasn’t happy to win. When he looked around him, at the crowd, he felt warmth surrounding his eyes. He wanted to see Jimin, wanted to shout and wrap his arms around him from the huge victor he made.

 

         But there was nothing.

 

         With his head down, his arm was lifted as he heard the cheers echoing in his ears. But this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Jimin. When he stepped out from the ring, Taehyung covered his head with a towel to dry the sweat from Yoongi. They were few steps, three? Maybe four, when Yoongi lifted his head to freeze himself in his spot. Why was the day filled with surprises? He didn’t know. Yoongi wanted to cry, he wanted to run up the highest hill and scream his heart out. He wanted to run and break Jimin’s bones from the sudden mixed feelings he felt when he watched his boyfriend’s face, standing by the door of the hall, hands in his skinny jeans pockets, hoody covering his head and forehead. Yoongi didn’t move from the sudden shock. His whole body was vibrating from the fight and Jimin’s presence. What happened? He was supposed to leave the jail in two years.

 

         Jungkook appeared behind his friend and everything was clear now.

 

         In the end Jungkook disappeared to bring his friend back. But two police officers showed too, passing them all the way to the ring, handcuffed Jooheon’s wrists behind his back and in front of the crowd they told him that he was under arrest. But at that moment, Yoongi didn’t care, his eyes were glued on the brown eyes that were telling him to approach already. “Congrats. You finally did it.” Jimin’s voice, Yoongi missed. Actually he missed everything, Jimin’s voice, his love, his face, his body, everything. The former slowly lifted his hands to his hood to slide it down his head. His hair was shaved from prison, tiny black spikes tangling on his scalp. “Take these off of me. .” Yoongi demanded, collided his gloved fists to Taehyung’s torso telling him to take them off. And when they were finally off, Yoongi took baby steps toward his boyfriend. The boy he never stopped his love for even after they were separated for a whole year and few months.

 

        Once there were inches between the both of them, Yoongi managed to look at his own reflection on the former’s glossy cornea. He watched how his face was bruised from the fight, how his left eye was swollen. How his lips were quavering from the sudden appearance of Jimin and Jungkook’s. Yoongi’s pale hands were still wrapped, but his fingertips managed to brush against Jimin’s soft cheeks gently. “You’re back. .” The elder whispered. “You’re here.” He whispered again. Slowly running his hands through the spiked hair of his boyfriend. “I’m back Min Yoongi. Sorry for pushing you away. I’m here now.” Jimin nervously wrapped his arms around the former’s torso, pulling him closer to the warmth of his body, bringing him closer to fill the emptiness they felt all this time without each other.

 

         “I missed you so much. Seeing you win the first thing after I left prison made me so happy and so . . so . . I don’t know anymore.” Yoongi were feeling them. His man’s tears rolling down his bare shoulder and back. Involuntary he was crying too, finally wrapping his arms around Jimin’s neck, allowing himself to lose his weight on his boyfriend. “I missed you much more you idiot.” When they let go, Jimin’s forehead collided with Yoongi’s sweaty one, hands climbing up to the bruised face to wipe away the falling tears with his thumbs. “I’m so proud of you. . I’m so proud Yoongi.” The younger sniffed as he smiled. Oh the smile Yoongi missed the most, the beautiful smile he wanted to kiss.

 

        “I can’t wait to go home.” Jimin intertwined his fingers with Yoongi’s. Helped him to the changing room, checked on his bruises and willingly carried him in his still strong arms all the way to the car.

 

       “Hyung.” Jungkook called from the driver’s seat as he looked at the elder from the rearview mirror. “I did what you wanted . . can you forgive me now?” he looked like a kid all of a sudden, and Yoongi had no choice but to forgive him. Not fully though. Because he wanted it to be sooner. But at least Jimin was with him now, and Jooheon was arrested. Finally. They would live happily ever after like every princess’s movie with her prince. “Just drive Kook.” Yoongi bossed, leaned his head on his man’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Oh how he missed this warm feeling, how he missed to be so close to Jimin. “You can rest till we reach home, baby.” The younger pressed a soft kiss on a bruise Yoongi had on his forehead as he winced. “I don’t want to rest. I’m just so happy that you’re back. You can’t even imagine.” Yoongi brushed his nose against the former’s neck touched the side of the shaved head as he found himself crying again.

 

         “Baby why . . stop crying. You are going to make me cry too.” Jimin wrapped one arm around his man, pulled him closer, planted few kisses on the former’s head. Taehyung in the passenger seat was angry, and Jungkook knew he had to explain a lot to his boyfriend. After he dropped Yoongi and Jimin at their apartment, he took Taehyung back home to talk.

 

         Back inside, Jimin inhaled deeply the moment he stepped in, as if he entered heaven. “God everything smells like you now!” Jimin said cheerfully, helped his man who hardly walked toward their room. Yoongi sat at the edge of the bed, head down, still sad about everything. And when Jimin bent on one knee in front of him on the floor, he couldn’t hold himself from wrapping his arms around him one more time. “You really are here.” Yoongi almost whispered, lips brushing against the former’s clothes shoulders as he spoke. The former hummed as response, allowed their cheeks to brush against each other before he collided their lips together. They kissed. After a long time. It felt new. Their lips brushing against one another, feeling the warmth they missed, the taste they longed for.

 

         Jimin settled on the floor, pulled the former from the bed down to his lap. Yoongi winced from his sore body but he never broke the kiss. He was hungry for it, hungry for Jimin. “Your body grew some muscles. I can feel that.” The younger said when he pulled back, smiling at his man’s new well built body. They showered together. Yoongi washed away his dried sweat and Jimin washed away the filth of the prison that stuck on his body. Right after they cuddled on bed. The side of Yoongi’s head resting on Jimin’s upper arms and forehead collided with Jimin’s chest. Legs tangled under the blanket. The younger was aware of the tiredness Yoongi was feeling after a fight, sore body, pained muscles, tired soul.

 

         At first it felt weird to cuddle there, but Yoongi was slowly getting the feelings back after all this time. “You know . . even my pillow smells like you now.” Jimin chuckled softly. Happy that he was finally home, with his boyfriend. He was grateful that his man waited for him as he wished. Slowly when Yoongi was drifting to sleep, Jimin’s free hand looked its way under his pillow and felt the familiar small box still there. But he was sure Yoongi have seen it already. Because the next morning, Jimin got up before Yoongi as usual, giving him a kiss on the lips and rushed downstairs. Jungkook was already there with Taehyung.

 

         And when Yoongi opened his eyes, he was afraid the moment Jimin wasn’t by his side. Because all he thought about that Jimin was a dream and not real. With a hand on his bruised stomach and tummy, he walked slowly toward the door, supporting himself with the walls. Hardly walked because he never expected his body to be sore enough for him to wince every second. “Jimin!” He called with fear, tried to walk faster but cussed when his body never allowed him. “Jimin!” He called again, rushed down the stairs, and sighed in relief when his boyfriend was there, dressed cleanly, standing in front of the huge window in the living room. “Hey. Good morning prince.” Jimin smiled at his feared face, stretched his arms, telling his man to approach to hold him in his embrace. “You idiot! I thought you were a dream last night. . I-I-” Yoongi couldn’t continue when he made his way toward his man and threw himself at him.

 

         “You said I’m like a magical character from fairytale movies before didn’t you? Maybe I was a dream and now I’m real. Ouch!” Jimin cursed when Yoongi slapped his chest. The worry was already showing in Yoongi’s face. “I’m sorry. Wanted to prepare something for you.” The younger pulled his man fast to his chest and kissed his temple before he turned him toward the whole living room. There were Jungkook, Taehyung and balloons all over the place. White and blue. A huge cake on the coffee table with Yoongi’s face on it and boxing gloves. “Congrats Hyung!” Taehyung and Jungkook said at once, popping party poppers at the couple. But before Yoongi can talk, he watched his man got on one knee beside him, hand grabbing Yoongi’s right hand.

 

         “Min Yoongi,” Jimin started, swallowed before he said it clearly. “After all these years we spent together. I realized that I can’t live with anyone else but you. I love you from the depth of my heart and you’re all I need. When I was in prison, there wasn’t a single time when I didn’t think of you. And I appreciate that you waited for me. I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time. But Just know whatever I did was for good. I love you so much, will you please marry me?” he leaned and collided his lips with the back of Yoongi’s pale hand. Jungkook and Taehyung were holding their laugh because it was their first time to watch Yoongi’s tomato face. The elder’s free hand covered his mouth as he found himself sobbing. “I do you idiot.” He covered his face after he felt the cold ring slides on his ring finger. Jimin got up hastily and wrapped his arms around his man, lifted him from the ground and twirled before collided their lips together in a passionate kiss. “I love you. I love you so much!” he chuckled before he helped his man toward the cake to celebrate.

 

         At night that day. They made love. Jimin gave his all to Yoongi, and the elder clung on his man so tight that he thought he broke the former’s bones. Even though Yoongi’s body was still weak, but he didn’t care, he wanted Jimin. The younger was sucking on Yoongi’s swollen neck when the both of them came at the same time, mixed moans hit every corner. He collapsed on Yoongi with heavy breathes, fingers intertwined so tight together. After the both of them cooled down, Jimin laid down on bed, pulling his man closer to his body. “I’ll always love you more than anything.” He almost whispered when their foreheads collided. Yoongi was moving the ring in his finger in rounds before he whispered. “I’ll always love you no matter what happens to us.” As he ended his line, they snuggled so tight, as if it was their last night together.

 

         But they both knew, when they’ll open their eyes in the morning, everything will feel warm. When they’ll open their eyes after more years, everything will be the same, so warm and cozy and beautiful. Just like how Jungkook and Taehyung were promising to each other out there to always be together.

 

 

 

 

-The End-


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